Next chapter up, I'm trying to work quicker because I have big big plans for this fanfiction, I actually know where I want this to go and how things are going to click and make sense later on which is a refreshing change for me. Anyway, hope you enjoy this next installment, it's kind of short and it may seem over the top towards the middle-end but I needed it to be that way for what's coming next.
Oh yeah, I totally killed my chemistry Test today! :DD (Just took it in my last block, I'm uploading this in my study hall) Thanks for reviewing people it really did help me for some reason, I got a 97 so hell to the yes. Alright enough of that, enjoy this next chapter, I'll get started on chapter 4! :)
The next morning, Light woke with a start. Out of habit, he leaned over to check the clock on his nightstand: 8 am on the dot. His head was pounding and his forehead immediately broke into a sweat as the previous day's events flooded through the dam of his cerebrum. Light paused for a moment, scrambling for any bit of information he could remember. Let's see. He had met L Lawliet, treated him poorly, and then let him slip through his fingers. Yep sounded about right. And yet, Light was still absolutely determined to find the man again. He could still see those seemingly vacuous onyx eyes boring into his, that unkempt hair that was darker than a raven's wing sticking out in every direction, the smooth milky complexion of his face that just begged to be stroked…
"Ugh!" Light grunted in frustration, letting gravity push him backwards onto his bed. Unfortunately he hadn't scooted far enough forward, allowing the inevitable meeting between the back of his head and the wooden headboard. What a fantastic way to start the morning: with a weal the size of a small golf ball. Light cried out, more out of aggravation than actual pain albeit it was still quite excruciating. After caring for the tender welt growing on his head, Light rolled out of bed without making it. He shielded his face with the hand not cupping his skull from the raw incandescent light that shone through the window-wall. His room was facing the westward rising sun and he had yet to install any curtains of any kind. Damn you, procrastination, damn you.
Light followed his quotidian bathroom schedule, rushing a little more than usual because he wanted to get the day started. And it was going to be a long one. He picked out comfortable street clothes from his closet, always tasteful yet casual; a personal style he had created for himself in the recent years. He slipped into the clothes and rushed into the kitchen, unsurprised to see Matt already at their antique wooden table for four, sipping his freshly made coffee. Light sniffed the air, yep, freshly made today; Matt had an irksome habit of leaving old coffee in the machine and drinking it the next newspaper was already layed out on the table as the redhead flipped through it with only partial interest. Matt turned and smiled when Light all but ran into the kitchen. Light rushed by, giving Matt a kiss on the head as he passed.
"Morning." Light said quickly, already filling a mug with coffee and creamer. Even though he rushed through most of the morning, Light slowed down for his coffee. He was extremely meticulous about his morning cup. Exactly two tablespoons of sugar and two of those little prepackaged plastic containers of non-dairy creamer. That was all, no more, no less. Matt watched on with an amused grin. Many of Light's neurotic tendencies were entertaining to the redhead.
"Good morning to you too," Matt let a chuckle rumble in his chest. Light turned and smiled at Matt, letting his mind rest for the first time since he had woken up. "Going to look for Lawliet again today?" Matt raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah," Light replied, taking a swig of coffee. Just barely enough sugary flavor to keep the bitterness of the coffee at bay, the way he liked it. "I might go towards the Library or one of the many bookstores here in Manhattan. It seems like a logical place to start, wouldn't you say?"
Matt hummed in response, nodding his head and taking a sip of his own coffee. He didn't mention to the brunette that the man might not even be in Manhattan let alone the state anymore; but he was not about to smash Light's aspirations to pieces. "Good luck," was all he said, smiling encouragingly. Light didn't seem to detect the tenuous sarcasm that bit at the edge of his words. Light shrugged and downed the rest of his coffee, chasing it down with a granola bar from their pantry. Before Matt could say another word, Light snatched his satchel off the counter along with his 'Autumn Silence' novel and flew out the door, giving Matt another kiss on the head in passing. Light shut the door, his face set in a deep frown of grim determination as he adjusted the strap of the satchel on his shoulder.
"Good luck indeed," he muttered to himself, stepping into the blazing New York sunlight.
Light spent a good part of the morning becoming one with his map or Manhattan. He wasn't a tourist but he still found it rather difficult to navigate through most of the city. He went to bookstore after bookstore, library after library, searching for that shock of pitch-black hair. He searched for hours and didn't find anything but unfulfilled hopes. There was one instance, however, when he thought he had found L Lawliet.
He had been searching for about 4 hours at this point and growing more and more…impatient was the word? Light cautiously walked up to the doppelganger, the man's back to the brunette at a pretzel stand. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, not a long sleeved shirt like the day before but a jacket, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Light could feel his breath quicken and his head getting lighter as he approached the man from behind. The feeling of completion and satisfaction in himself swelled as he reached forward to tap the man on the shoulder tentatively.
"L Lawliet…?" Light held his breath then, as the man turned around. What Light was met with was almost soul crushing. This man was definitely not L Lawliet.
He looked far too healthy and hearty, his eyes a bright green. His skin wasn't the luminous pallid color it had been, it was far too tan. He had the early signs of a beard and mustache growing and a very irritated and puzzled expression on his face. Light almost choked on his saliva.
"Who the fuck is L Lawliet?" The man spat back, in a voice that was to gruff to be anything like L's. The name had drawn attention to a few passing people who turned to look as they walked on. "Don't touch me dumbass fuck, I don't know you! Just leave me the fuck alone?" Obviously this man overreacted to the nth degree but even so; Light felt the blood pound in his ears, something that always happened when he was in a situation that embarrassed him. He blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the unexpected and uncontrollable tears.
"I am...so sorry, sir, I didn't mean to…disturb you." Light choked out, his chest constricting. This was something that happened every single time he messed up, even only a little. He had a panic attack. Damn it! He had failed. Again. Without another word, he fled the scene, his cheeks ablaze, fighting back tears. There was nothing he could do right! No matter what he did, it always found a way to backfire or make trouble for other people. Light ran blindly through crowds, years of suppressed letdowns flowing from the dam, manifesting themselves into this one situation. Something like that wouldn't have upset a normal person, but Light was far from normal. His consciousness had been severed and repaired so many times his mind and emotions were a ticking time bomb that had just been detonated, expunging everything. Light's feet pounded on the pavement as he streaked down the sidewalk. Words from his mother resonated through his head, clouding every other thought.
"You're a dumb little fuck aren't you?" His mother sneered, tipping the bottle of Captain Morgan into her mouth. "I don't know if anyone has ever told you this, but you'll never amount to anything in your life. No one will want you, no one will love you, and no one will care. Even your dad didn't want anything to do with you! It's your damn fault he's not here with me right now. That man was the best thing that ever happened to me! And you ruined it." The woman's words were so slurred that Light could hardly decipher them. He lay on the floor, battered and broken both figuratively and literally, a boy of only 8 years of age. He had a gash above his left eyebrow that was seeping salty blood into his eye. His mother had beat him over the head with a now shattered glass of Jack Daniels and continued to beat him with a random book she found on the coffee table littered with cocaine powder. She blamed Light for everything that went wrong in her life and took every bit of her frustration on the feeble child.
Bruises covered every inch of Light's body, marring the otherwise golden skin. He was so weak with hunger and so emaciated that he couldn't stand or even lift his head. His mother stood over him, sneering down at him. "Maybe if I were to get rid of you he would come back. Yeah that's it; I bet if I kill you, he'll finally come back to me. I never wanted you anyway."
Light couldn't believe what he was hearing. His eyes widened in unadulterated terror as the woman grasped the now empty bottle of Captain Morgan by the handle and swung down toward his head with all her strength.
Light choked on his tears, his chest constricting tighter to the point where he couldn't breathe. The memories and everything he felt during that time rushed back in one enormous tidal wave, sweeping him off his feet. Light tripped, and scraped his hands, his palms stinging terribly. He made a sharp turn into a vacant alleyway, rage and sadness surging through his being.
"Aaahhhh!" Light screamed, wrenching his leg back and delivering a death blow to the unsuspecting dumpster in his path. His sunk to the ground of the soiled pavement, not caring that his pants would ruin. The tears flowed freely now, wracking his body with powerful sobs. This wasn't about finding L. This was his world crumbling around him. He couldn't breathe even though he took heaving breaths, his clothes felt too tight; everything was suddenly too loud and too bright, Light had to squeeze his eyes shut, clamping his hands over his ears, trying to block out the voice of his mother resonating through his head. "Shut up, JUST SHUT UP!" Light yelled at his mother's disembodied voice.
It seemed like even though he had grown too old to be frightened by his mother whom he had killed himself, the wounds the inflicted on him hadn't healed; they had scabbed over and this miniscule situation had ripped off the band aid. His mother's presence still lingered and it wouldn't leave him alone. She still had a death grip on his life. His life was filled with just enough pleasantry to keep her at bay, but sometimes there were times where that wasn't enough. And now she had him by the throat once again.
The tears didn't stop and no one followed him. Light was left sobbing while his world shattered to black. He was losing himself again, falling into that bottomless abyss of odium and hatred, of unbridled fear and desolation. He was almost ready to let the blackness swallow him when a piercing bright light shredded through the darkness. A hand extended from the pool of light into his world. Light cried out and grasped onto the hand, not caring who or what it was that would pull him out of this chasm.
The darkness wrapped around Light's legs and tried to drag him back down, but whatever he had grabbed onto was stronger. It fought back the shadows and yanked Light clear out of its clawed grip. Light felt something tear and he heard himself scream with such intensity that it hurt his ears. He finally blinked open his eyes, trembling fiercely. He was still in the alley.
Tears still glistened in his eyes and on his cheeks but they didn't flow anymore. The sobs stopped and Light could finally breathe again. It took a moment for him to recover from the most violent and realistic panic attack he had ever had in his entire life. But it wasn't for a few seconds that he realized that someone had literally grabbed him and pulled him out of the darkness, that his hand was actually grasped onto someone else's. His fingernails were digging deeply into someone's palm, the palm of a snowy white hand. The person also had their other arm wrapped tightly around Light's quaking body, their lithe frame pressed to his as if simply their touch could calm the tremors. And it did.
Light could feel the strong heartbeat of the other person matching with his own, their breaths subconsciously synchronizing and his own breaths slowing. Warmth and comfort diffused through Light's limbs, heating up the areas that had seized up in fear. He felt perfectly safe, love and compassion was nearly palpable in the air around him and he didn't want to move, didn't want to leave.
Suddenly, the person shifted and moved back, still holding Light but at arm's length. Light blinked, unable to see who was caring for him because his eyes were blurred with tears and blood; he had obviously hit his head on something, the red life force dripping into his left eye. His chest aching with longing. He longed to be held like that every day for the rest of his life even if it was by a stranger.
"I didn't think it would be this terrible after all this time. I guess trying to stay away from you was hurting you more than helping," the person—a man—mumbled in a silky smooth voice filled with a saddened awe that Light picked up on right away. Light didn't understand the meaning behind the words but he didn't care. He sniffled once and a fresh myriad of emotions washed through him, sending the unshed tears spilling down his cheeks. He let out a crying sob and buried his face into the man's shirt. This time he wasn't crying tears of agony, they were cleansing and reviving.
Light felt the man wrap his arms around his body, pulling the brunette closer to his frame. He felt the man's lips near his ears and heard his voice again. Even though it was a hoarse whisper, it drowned out the sound of Light's own whimpering. "It's alright now, Y, you don't need to be afraid, don't worry. I'll take care of you." At that point Light didn't care why the man called him 'Y' or who he was; he just needed someone to make him feel safe. So wrapped in warmth, Light placed all of his trust in the hands of a total stranger and allowed himself to slip into the safest form of darkness: unconsciousness.
Over the top I know but like I said, it was needed :/ I know everyone can guess who the man who saved Light is but it'll get better I promise, next chapter might be up by early next week. No promises but of course I'll always do my best! Reviews are always nice; I have a few more chem. tests so if you want me to have enough free time to spend writing instead of stressing about chemistry then review! It really does help boost my self-esteem also haha ^_^~