Chapter 3

I own nothing in respect of TBBT

"Twinkle, twinkle, my Death Star, it's amazing how deadly you are, a huge sphere in the black of space, exterminating the Rebel base - " sang Sheldon as he added another section to his Lego creation. A sigh broke into his mood.

"Leonard, that is the third heartfelt exhalation in as many minutes - are you still agonizing over that needless epistle?"

"It's not needless, it's an expression - " Sheldon cut him off. "It is needless, a civil ceremony does not require vows, merely a pronouncement by the minister of marriage and some paperwork. Elapsed time, five minutes - and I've allowed for my speech in Klingon there too - "

"You know Howard, Bernadette, Amy and Raj have a speech too right?"

"Yes, but I'm sure theirs will be less entertaining - mine will make you cry."

"I'm sure it will." muttered Leonard, returning to his laptop. Three seconds later -

"Oh for pity's sake! Under the terms of the Friendship Agreement a friend in distress is entitled to either a hot beverage."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Or advice."

"Can I have a hot beverage?" Leonard asked hopefully. "I think cocoa would really hit the spot - "

"Too late mister, that ship's sailed. Now let's examine the nature of your problem - "

"It's not a problem - I'm just not finding the right words."

"We have," Sheldon indicated the apartment in general, "a large body of romantic material in DVD or book form: Jake and Neytiri, Ron and Hermione, Zoe and Hoban Washburne - not forgetting of course Han and Leia."

"And Delenn and Sheridan, Spock and Uhura " put in Leonard. Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Leonard, I'm trying to be serious and you drop Babylon 5 into the conversation - plus you know we do not mention that pairing from those movies. Surely you can find inspiration - or just rip something off - from what I've suggested."

"Sheldon, I'm not using a movie quote, this needs to come from the heart. Besides, when it comes to movies or printed romance it's Penny has the eidetic memory."

"Hmm - I see. Well, let me take a look - "

"I dunno Sheldon ..." muttered Leonard, but Sheldon was already reading it off.

'I want everyone here to know'...'That's it? The fruit of two hours work? Good job I stepped in seeing as theres only two weeks to go."

Leonard was defensive. "I told you it was hard, telling everyone - "

Sheldon interrupted. "See, that's where your going wrong. You're not talking to us - it's a wedding, everyone's eyes will be on Penny's dress. Frankly you could be up there reciting your grocery list for all the attention anyone will be paying ." He fetched a Catwoman figurine down from the shelf.

"Imagine that's Penny, just say to her what you think. "

"I dunno, I always think of Penny more as Leia - feisty and sassy." said Leonard dreamily. Sheldon sighed. "I don't have Leia in my collection Leonard. Here - " he left the room, returning a moment later with another collectible.

"You want me to practice with Raggedy Anne?" Leonard was puzzled, "How'd you even get this?"

"Amy gave it to me as a memento of our attending Stuart's Halloween party." said Sheldon fondly, before snapping back to the moment. "Anyway, it's either this or the rather androgynous ward of Bruce Wayne I purchased from the Far East."

"Well, your Taiwanese Robin doesn't really work for me, I'll go with Anne here."

"Good choice, and regarding your vows, I wouldn't reference 'smart and beautiful babies'. Penny may have differing views on the desirability of reproducing with you - "

"Sheldon, we talked about kids, they're a little way off yet." Leonard turned and faced the doll. His brow creased in thought as he leant forward and took the dolls hands in his.

"Penny ... you've been my girlfriend, my fiancé and in a few moments you'll be my wife ... but one thing you've always been is my best friend."

Sheldon cocked his head to one side, thinking. "That was pretty lame. Wouldn't 'you are, and shall always be, my friend' be better?"

Penny giggled as she climbed the stairs. She didn't need Vulcan hearing to hear the noise coming from 4A. Her Stallion and his Giraffe buddy were at it again.

"Sheldon! Its not lame and besides, I said no movie quotes!"

"But it's an expression of friendship! And has Penny ever seen Wrath of Khan? And by seen I mean stayed awake through?"

"Well, not exactly all of it, but Spock's dying there! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!"

"Which would be even happier if you had a sundae bar!"

"Sundae bar? How did we get from the death of Spock to a sundae bar?"

"Leonard - "

"Sheldon - "

Penny smiled as she let herself into 4B. She'd guessed what they were yelling about. She'd already written hers.

"Leonard, I'm marrying the kindest, sweetest man, but much more than that I'm marrying my best friend, who always has and always will be there for me."