Author's Notes:
Thank you everyone for your continued reading, even after the misunderstanding in the first chapter with one single reader. Once again, It's impossible to add a lesbian character into a story and not offend someone in the world. Whether they are feminine, butch, or a little of both…people still find a reason to be offended. Tracy was supposed to be a small character that Scully thinks Mulder is with, not knowing she is gay. Yes, Tracy likes basketball and beer and doesn't wear short skirts and heels. But isn't that also stereotyping guys by saying I'm stereotyping lesbians based on solely that? Because not all straight guys like beer and basketball. Some gay guys like beer and basketball also. So I rest my case, and I hope that reader can look past that and enjoy the more important parts of the story. It's supposed to make people happy, not mad. Xoxo
6:30 PM
Mulder awoke to a darker cabin. They must have dozed off. He could see his breath and hear the sound of the wind and snow slamming up against the cabin. He looked over to see Scully still asleep next to him. She looked so peaceful, so he sat there for a few minutes and quietly watched her breathe in and out, with an occasional whimper escaping her lips. If only he could taste those lips. But according to Scully, it's never going to happen.
Mulder tried to quietly shift his body without waking Scully.
"Muuulder?"
"Yes Scully?"
"Kiss me."
Mulder looked at her surprised. Her eyes were closed. She was still asleep. She was talking in her sleep, or dreaming. And she apparently wanted him to kiss her? Did he hear that correctly?
"Muulder, kiss me." Scully mumbled in her sleep again.
Mulder couldn't help but smile and chuckle at her secrete request. Maybe he could get away with kissing Scully in her sleep. Dare he even try? He thought about it for a moment and decided it wouldn't be a good idea.
"I love you." Scully mumbled in her sleep as one single tear slipped down her cheek.
Mulder was now extremely curious to know whom Scully was saying 'I love you' to in her dream and crying over. His chest felt heavy and he wished she was awake while saying these things. Screw it.
"Scully— "He whispered quietly. "I'm going to kiss you now." And so he bent down and placed an extremely soft kiss upon the side of her mouth. And followed by that was Scully's hand smacking him upside his head as she jerked awake.
"What are you doing?!" Scully groggily gasped puzzled and still half asleep.
"Oww. Umm, nothing. You were talking in your sleep." Mulder grabbed the side of his head and winced.
"Did I hit you? I'm sorry!" Scully sat up quickly and tried to peace everything together. "Wait…did you just kiss me? Or was I dreaming that?"
Busted. Mulder sat there for a long moment, desperately trying to come up with a good story, but failed miserably. "Umm, yes…I did. I'm sorry." He looked away ashamed.
Scully couldn't figure out if the feeling in her stomach was satisfaction or complete disgust. Why would he toy with her emotions like that? "Umm, why would you do that?" She asked bitterly and still slightly shocked.
"I-I don't know. Cuz you told me to?" Mulder was only making things worse. Shut up dude.
"I told you to?" Scully looked at him with a pale face and wide eyes.
"Umm, yeah. You were talking in your sleep, I guess." He said scratching his head.
"What else did I say?" She asked completely horrified.
Mulder paused for a moment. "Nothing." He looked away from her.
"Mulder, what else did I say?" She asked him firmly.
Mulder paused for another moment. "You—you said 'I love you', in your dream, I guess." Dammit Mulder. You just dug yourself a big hole. Might as well go jump in it and let her burry you alive.
Scully stood up quickly and covered her face with her hands. "OH MY GOD." She was mortified. "Oh my god."
Mulder stood up and reached for her arm, but she pulled away from him. "Scully, it's not a big deal— "
"I-I've got to open a window or something. I-I need some air." Scully paced and avoided eye contact.
Mulder sighed. "Okay." It was no use to keep talking about it. Scully was obviously upset with him…again.
Mulder placed some more firewood in the fireplace and stirred the ashes around. "Umm, it's getting dark. I'm going to light a candle and try to heat up some of that soup."
Scully nodded, completely distracted with opening the window and sticking her head out into the blizzard. There was definitely at least over a foot of snow on the ground now. She deeply inhaled and exhaled a few times and closed the window back up with the rusty crank. She didn't even want to turn around and look at Mulder right now.
Mulder stuck his hands in his pockets and shifted his feet back and forth. "Maybe we can open some of that wine?" He suggested, desperately trying to ease the tension between them.
"Yes, please." Scully cleared her throat and crossed her arms.
Mulder awkwardly walked over to the cupboards and pulled the unlabeled wine out of one. "Hmm. It must be homemade or something." What else can he possibly say to her now? That he wished she would just open up to him and tell him what's going on inside that pretty little head of hers? That she was driving him completely insane and he couldn't even think about work right now? Dammit Scully. He used his teeth to pull out the cork and found some plastic cups to pour the wine in. "Uhh, here. I think it's a merlot." He said handing her the cup, their fingers briefly brushing against one another.
Scully sucked in a deep breath and diverted her eyes to the fire. "Thanks." She wanted to just speak her mind, right there and now. But she knew it would cause even more awkwardness between them, and then she would have a really hard time working with him when they went back home. She took a sip of the wine. Not bad. She would definitely need more so that she could at least calm her nerves and make it through the night.
30 minutes later
Several candles were lit all over the cabin. Luckily the cans of soup were the easy open kind and Mulder was able to find a cast iron pot to cook the expired vegetable soup in over the fire. They had just finished the last bit of soup in their plastic bowls with plastic spoons that were also conveniently located in the cupboards. Also finishing the whole bottle of wine.
Scully felt warm and fuzzy now and her nerves were starting to relax. She was definitely thankful that someone left so much at the abandoned cabin, assuming it was actually abandoned from the looks of it. And she felt like she was calm enough now to sit down next to Mulder on the loveseat, but still as far away on the opposite side of it that she could get. They both looked at the fire crackle for several minutes in silence. But now that Scully was feeling relaxed, she was inwardly struggling with the words she wanted to get out into the open. And just as she opened her mouth to speak, Mulder spoke up first.
"I'm sorry, Scully." He turned his head to look at her, his eyes soft and full of sadness.
Now she was able to look him in the eyes and she could almost feel the intensity of what was inside him spilling out and soaking into her. And at that very moment, she realized she had never seen him look at her like that before. Or maybe she hadn't noticed it before this. And she knew she was hurting him, just because she was hurt. She was punishing him. And for some reason, she couldn't make it stop. She couldn't control herself, because she was also mad at herself. She was angry that she didn't realize her feelings sooner, and that she didn't speak up about it sooner. And she was feeling so much all at once that it was just too overwhelming for her to process. So, she did what she does best. She built a wall of ice around her heart. And now she didn't know how to break it. "Sorry for what, Mulder?" She replied flatly.
"Sorry for whatever I did to make you feel the way you do."
"It's not your fault." She sighed and looked back at the fire. She couldn't look at him now.
Mulder was so worn out with Scully's behavior lately, that he just didn't know if anything he said would make anything better at this point. She was obviously not going to tell him why she was acting the way she had been the past few weeks. And maybe it was time for him to just let it go. He hung his head and balled his hands into fists. "Scully, I thought I understood you all these years. But now I'm starting to realize that maybe I don't." He closed his eyes and sighed.
Scully sat there in silence. She just didn't know what to say. She didn't want to hurt him anymore. She didn't want to feel the way she was feeling anymore. And she definitely didn't want to keep everything locked up inside her anymore
Mulder opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was definitely avoiding him, again. The wine was starting to give him more courage to speak his mind now. And he was done with this game they were playing. "Dammit Scully!" He shouted, causing Scully to jump.
Scully tensed up and closed her eyes. But she said nothing.
"Look at me! Dammit Scully, look at me!" He wasn't going to put up with this anymore. She was going to talk to him or he was going to get up and leave the cabin and go out into the blizzard and freeze to death.
Scully spun herself around to face him, her eyes filled with tears now. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She was trying to speak, but she was frozen in fear.
Mulder grabbed her shoulders and gave her a firm shake. "Talk to me! Why won't you tell me what's wrong?! Why are you doing this to me?! What the hell did I do wrong?!" He growled.
Scully shoved his hands off her shoulders and jumped up onto her feet, throwing her hands up in the air. "You fell in love! And I can't handle it, okay?!" She shouted. Uh oh.
Mulders eyes widened in complete and utter shock. "What? That's what this is about? I-I don't understand why you are so upset about it? I should be the one that's upset. You shouldn't feel so bad about the way you feel, just because of what I feel. We can move past this." He was so confused. Why was SHE upset that he loved her and she didn't feel the same way? If anything, it would be a little awkward. But he didn't remember trying to make her feel bad about it or anything.
Scully pointed a finger at him. "YOU should be upset?! F*CK YOU MULDER!" She hissed, tears streaming down her face.
Mulder shot up off the loveseat like a rocket and hovered over Scully. "What the hell Scully?! Why are you being such a bitch?!" He was furious. She was acting completely insane.
Scully poked at Mulder's chest. "How dare you, you selfish bastard!" She sobbed.
Mulder threw his hands up in the air. "Why do I even bother? I try to tell you how I feel, and you won't even listen as my friend. You know I would never do that to you, Scully. You know I would still be there for you no matter what!"
"How can you even blame me for all of this?! I was your friend, and I did listen to you. I listened to you the past few days, and I kept my feelings inside. And then you just kept talking about it. You kept shoving it in my face. And now you are trying to tell me that I should just suck it up after I finally tell you what's wrong? Mulder, if you were really my friend, you wouldn't be treating me like a drama queen. You would respect my feelings and let me heal!"
Mulder grabbed Scully's wrist and firmly pulled her finger away from his chest. "What the hell are you talking about Scully?! You're not making any sense!"
"NO, it's you that is not making any sense! Let go of me Mulder!" She spat.
"I don't know why I even bothered trying to talk to you about this. Tracy thought it was a good idea to try to talk to you about how I feel. But now I'm regretting it." He let go of Scully's wrist.
Scully wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and backed away. "Yes, of course your girlfriend would tell you to do that." She said bitterly.
Mulder's heart skipped a beat. "Wait, what?" His GIRLFRIEND? "Girlfriend? You think—Tracy- "He was completely shocked.
Scully sniffled. "Yes, your girlfriend. You can go back and tell her you had your little talk with me, and that I won't be in the way of you two anymore." She blotted her face with her sleeve and looked at the ground.
It all made sense now. "You think Tracy is my girlfriend?" He was still in complete shock.
Scully looked up at him and crossed her arms.
"Well, isn't she? That's all you ever talk about anymore. And you're always with her on the weekends now." She said bitterly.
Mulder could feel the laughter building within him. "Scully…. Tracy is NOT my girlfriend." He smiled.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Soon to be girlfriend." Scully sighed.
Mulder busted out laughing. He couldn't even say anything. She thought he was in love with Tracy? "Scully— "
Scully glared at him. "Why are you laughing?" She was confused.
"Scully. I am not in love with Tracy." He chuckled.
Scully's stomach tightened and she plopped down onto the couch. "You—you're…not?" She stammered in shock.
Mulder smiled and shook his head. "Scully…Tracy is gay."
Scully froze. "What? She's a lesbian?" Her mouth opened wide in disbelief.
Mulder nodded and chuckled again. "Yes. Tracy is a lesbian."
Scully was now extremely embarrassed. "Why didn't you tell me?!" She gasped.
Mulder smirked and sat down next to her. "I thought you knew!" He shrugged.
"Well, she doesn't look like a lesbian." Scully covered her face completely mortified. Everything was making a lot more sense now. "OH MY GOD." She closed her eyes.
"And exactly how is a lesbian supposed to look?" Mulder laughed.
Scully stood back up and placed her hands on her head. "I don't know! Geeze. I—I just thought you two were together because you guys are always talking and hanging out lately." She explained sheepishly.
Mulder raised his arms in defense. "Because she was giving me advice…about you. I even tried several times to get you to hang out with us so she could get a feel for you. She's apparently very insightful." He shrugged and stood up again also.
"So…you're— "
"I'm in love with you, Scully." He smiled and stepped closer to her.
Scully suddenly felt extremely light headed. "Oh."
Mulder stepped even closer. "And, from your reaction…I'm guessing you feel the same way?" He grabbed her hand.
Scully nodded as tears welled up in her eyes again. "Yes Mulder. I am." A wave of relief washed over her and she smiled.
"I am so relieved." He chuckled.
Scully giggled. "Oh Mulder, I'm so sorry." She sniffled and gently placed her other hand on the side of his face. "I'm so embarrassed." She blushed.
Mulder reached up with his other hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I assumed you already knew about Tracy."
"And I'm sorry I assumed about Tracy also." Scully replied.
They stood there looking at each other for a long moment.
"Scully? How long have you felt this way?" He asked curiously.
Scully thought about it for a moment. "I think I always have. But I didn't realize it until Tracy came along and I thought you two were together. I-I guess I realized then that I couldn't bear the thought of you loving someone else." She titled her head to one side slightly. "How about you?"
"Well— "He sighed. "From the very moment you walked into my office six years ago, I knew." He smiled.
"Really?"
"Yep."
They stood there for a long moment just staring at each other again. Until Mulder unexpectedly grabbed Scully by the waist with one hand and forcefully pulled her to him so that her stomach was pressed against his hip. Mulder looked down at her with a serious expression on his face, both of them breathing heavily. "Scully…I'm not going to assume or even ask this time. I'm just going to do it anyway."
Scully looked up at him with a flushed face and her mouth slightly open. "Okay." She inhaled deeply.
Mulder placed his other hand behind her head and slowly started to pull her face closer to his as he lowered his closer to hers. "I'm going to kiss you." He whispered.
To be continued…
Author's Notes:
Don't worry, I'm working on the fourth chapter right this minute! FYI, this story was a poll winner. Every situation was hand-picked by my readers. And if you don't particularly like this certain story, you are more than welcome to suggest other Mulder and Scully scenarios that I will gladly take into consideration. Each story I write is completely different from the last. Love you all, even my haters. ;) I really do appreciate the reviews and constructive criticism. Just please be nice and respectful.