A/N: Hey all, new chapter, hope you like! sorry it took so long, can't promise it won't again (That's what happens when you study two languages at university level) love xx PNSBH
I walked out of the front doors to the hospital and into the afternoon rain with a new prescription for yet another anti-nausea medication, new scripts for my ARVs and instructions to get several new non-prescription dietary supplements.
I had lost weight again, a couple of kilos since my last appointment. Physically, I was bordering on anorexic weight levels for someone my size, not that there was much anyone could actually do about it, it wasn't like I did this to myself on purpose.
I climbed into the cabin of my truck, laying the papers on the passenger seat, and started the engine, heading for the pharmacy. While I had enough meds to get me through the next week, this wasn't Phoenix. In a town this size, the pharmacy would need several days, probably, to actually get the drugs in.
I climbed out of the truck, wishing for an umbrella as water ran down the back of my neck. I sheltered the pages from the rain as best I could and ran inside, stumbling over the step up to the door, and into the warm room.
I gave my scripts to the pharmacist and was told what I had expected: it would take them at least three days to actually fill them. Until then, I would be stuck with what I had on hand. I collected the dietary supplements that Carlisle had recommended, as well as top ups for several of my vitamins, and paid for them quickly before leaving the store, avoiding the knowing and pitying stare from the pharmacist.
I climbed back into the truck, shivering slightly, and headed for home.
I was exhausted by the time I climbed out of my truck and headed for the front door, worn out by the long day, which is probably why I missed seeing the extra car parked in front of our house.
When I opened the door, the wave of sound and the smell of pizza almost sent me tumbling. I swallowed hard against the renewed surge of nausea and, setting my shoulders, walked into the house. Charlie was sitting on the couch, with his friend Billy sitting in a wheelchair beside him, and Billy's son Jacob, who I have vague memories of playing with sitting with them, all three watching whatever sporting match was on.
"Hey dad," I called over the TV, and Charlie turned in his seat.
"Bells!" he grinned at me. "Come and say hi to Billy and Jacob, you remember them, don't you?" he muted the TV, but didn't switch it off.
"Of course I do, dad, how could I forget? Hi Billy, hi Jacob," I waved at them both without really moving, not wanting to get any closer to the smell of the pizza than I absolutely had to.
"Hi Bella," Jacob waved at me and I grinned weakly back.
"Come and have something to eat," Charlie told me, waving the pizza box in my direction, thus bringing about my undoing for the second time that day. Feeling my stomach finally decide that yes, it was going to rebel, I clapped a hand to my mouth and rushed for the trashcan in the kitchen. I only made it as far as the sink, bracing myself against the edge as my stomach heaved and heaved again, expelling the dried fruit I'd eaten in the car on the way home, and then kept heaving.
I felt Charlie's hand on my back as he murmured gentle encouragement, and the shudders began to diminish, then finally stopped. "Sorry," I croaked as I turned on the tap with a shaking hand, splashing the water around the sink then rinsing my mouth carefully.
"Nothing to be sorry about, kiddo. Can I get you anything?"
"No, I'm just going to go up to my room, get away from the smell. I'll see you later, dad," I let him wrap an arm around my shoulders and give me a quick squeeze, then made my way to the stairs with a wave to Billy and Jacob. "Sorry we can't catch up now, but you guys enjoy the game, alright?"
"You'll have to come out to the rez some time," Billy told me, and I nodded.
"I'd like that," I said, surprised to realize it was the truth. If I had moved out here a year ago, it probably wouldn't have been, but now, hanging out on the Reservation, with its quiet beaches, forests, mountains and lakes just sounded…peaceful. I could use some peace. I climbed the stairs quickly and, deciding that I was too worn out for anything else, changed and climbed into bed, setting my alarm clock. Tomorrow would be another day.
The day started out much the same, including the trip to the office to speak with Ms Cope.
"Well, dear, that all seems to be in order," Miss Cope said, although she looked decidedly curious about why I needed to be let off sport. "There's a study hall running in that period, you can go there."
"Thanks," I said, taking my updated timetable from here, and headed out to my locker. I managed to dodge several questions about where I'd been the previous afternoon, and knew that once people found out I wasn't doing any PE, they'd have another thing to whisper about. Eventually, I would probably end up as isolated here as I was in Pheonix, even if no one figured out my secret.
I shuffled through my morning classes, exhaustion pulling at me like an anchor, weighing me down. One of the hardest things to accept was the fact that, because I was getting so little energy into my body on a daily basis, I just couldn't concentrate very well. I was used to school being easy, but it just wasn't any more because I had to force myself to concentrate every second, even as I felt like I was falling asleep.
I was grateful that my schedule happened to fall in such a way that I didn't have class when I had to take my pills. That would suck; leaving class every day to dose yourself meant that people couldn't help but notice. Going to the bathroom during your lunch break? Totally explainable.
I sat in the cafeteria, forcing myself to eat as much of the less than appetizing food as I could, nodding along to Jessica's conversation, then excused myself to visit the bathroom once again.
I slipped into the biology classroom early and sat at my desk, doodling on the inside cover of my notebook. I heard the door creak softly and looked up, expecting the teacher, but Edward Cullen slipped in instead. He smiled softly as he crossed the room on silent feet, folding himself into his seat with an almost unnatural grace that made me burn with envy.
"Bella, it's good to see you again. I hope you're feeling better?"
"I'm alright, thanks," I replied, uncomfortable with the question because I was a terrible liar, and I knew it. Edward glanced down at what I had been doodling and frowned slightly.
"What's that?" he asked, curious, and I glanced down, not at all certain what exactly I'd been scribbling. I felt a blush rise in my cheeks as I saw what was there – I'd started keeping a list, what some would call a 'bucket list' of things I wanted to do.
"Nothing," I replied quickly, flipping the book to hide it, and he seemed to let it go.
"So, you moved from Pheonix, right? What's it like there?"
"Sunny," was my immediate response, with a rueful grin at the rain running down the window. "Warm, dry, bare. Very little green."
"Did you like it there?"
"Yes, and no. I needed to g…to come up here," I stopped myself from saying 'get away', not wanting to sound like I was doing exactly what I had been – running away. Instead, I took a deep breath and rolled out the cover story that had enough truth in it for me to be comfortable with. "I wanted to spend some real time with my dad before college and mom…she got remarried. Phil's a great guy, but he's a ball player and he's always on the road. I didn't want to keep mom anchored to the house, and it seemed like a good opportunity to spend some time with my dad before…college." I prayed he hadn't noticed the momentary pause, and he didn't seem to have, so a breath a completely internal sigh of relief. "Do you like it here?" I asked him then.
"Yes," he replied, glancing out the window at the cloud filled sky and smiling slightly as though at a private joke. "It suits me very well."
Before we could talk any more the bell rang and people began filing in to class. I unpacked my textbook and set up my side of the desk, and turned back to find Edward regarding me with a faintly amused, but also curious expression on his face.
"That's very…neat," he said tactfully, and I blushed, ducking my head. I heard Edward's soft chuckle before the class was called to order, and had to stifle a flash of annoyance.
We were doing practical today – identifying different stages of cell division, a prac that I had already done in my AP course in Florida, although not with onion root. The two of us made short work of it, taking turns with the microscope, Edward recording all of the results because I was embarrassed about how my handwriting would compare to his beautiful cursive script.
After class I stood slowly and stretched before putting everything back in my bag.
"So, what class do you have now?" asked Edward.
"She has gym," spoke up another voice from behind him, a guy who had been sitting at my lunch table, but whose name currently escaped me. "Come on, Bella, I'll show you where it is. Where did you go yesterday afternoon?" he took my arm in a proprietary gesture and I jerked away, his touch repulsing me and sparking fear in my chest, fear that I kept a very tight check on.
"Actually," I replied coolly, trying to shrug off the incident, "I don't. I have study hall." The guy, whose name I now remembered was Mike, looked at me oddly but then shrugged and left the room.
"Are you alright?" asked Edward, looking at me with concern in his eyes.
"Fine," I replied, brushing a hand over where he had grabbed me as though trying to remove the memory of the contact. "I just don't like being touched, is all."
He just nodded, then gestured for me to precede him to the door. "We have study hall together," he told me softly, and I nodded.
"I just need to…" I gestured towards a bathroom sign and turned in before he could say anything. I locked myself in a cubicle and knelt on the floor, panting. The fear was still there, and I tried to force myself to relax. He hadn't hurt me, hadn't intended to hurt me, but try telling my fear scared psyche that. My stomach was beginning to roil and I thought longingly of the new anti-nausea medication that wouldn't arrive for several more days, the one Carlisle thought would be much more effective.
I leant over the toilet, the remnants of my lunch revisiting me as my body shook with the force of my heaves. Once it stopped I stood, flushing the toilet, wiping my face and rinsing my mouth before leaving the bathroom. Edward was still leaning against the wall beside the door, and he looked me carefully up and down when I exited, as though he knew what had happened. He looked for a moment as though he wanted to say something, but instead settled in beside me and we walked to study hall.
Unfortunately, a different teacher than normal was in charge of study hall today (so Edward told me by note) and we couldn't talk, even quietly, unless we were working on a group project. I didn't mind to much, I was tired and had a headache so I took out my somewhat battered copy of Romeo and Juliet and pretended to be reading it for English, turning a page every couple of minutes so that I at least looked like I was accomplishing something. Edward kept shooting me little sideways glances like he knew what I was doing, but he didn't say anything.
I was glad to get away from his stare, something about it unnerved me. It was like he thought that if he just stared at me long enough he would be able to crawl inside my head and understand me, understand my secrets.