void.
-noun ; a feeling or condition of loneliness or deprivation.
chapter two –
Once upon a time, a girl with pink hair lived happily with her mommy and daddy. Every Sunday they took trips to the mall and had a lot of fun. When the girl was six, her daddy started coming home late. He would trip at the door, and he smelled like fruits. Her mommy would close the door to her room, but she could hear everything. She heard words she didn't understand: sex, cheating, unfaithful.
Her daddy changed ever since. Sometimes he'd come home, most of the time he was never there. He missed her sports festival and school drama, but she kept quiet. One day, maybe one day daddy would come home, she thought, if she kept being a good girl, one day daddy would come home, she believed. Daddy came home the day she turned seven.
He brought her gifts; new toys, new books, new pencils, new art supplies. She had always loved drawing. That day, she drew her family with smiles on their faces, and she was happy. It was a Sunday; they took a trip to the mall and had a lot of fun. She was happy.
When her mommy and daddy kissed her forehead and bid her goodnight, she went to bed smiling. Daddy came home because she was a good girl, she thought, she was happy.
She woke up when the moon was still in the sky. She heard shouts and screams and plates shattering. Shaking, she walked downstairs, and stopped by the kitchen door. Her daddy was holding a phone in his hand, with someone calling out "Hello? Hello? Is everything okay, honey?" Her mommy was in the corner, shaking, she could tell she was crying. She made sure to walk around the broken plates. She was seven, and she was a smart girl.
Both adults noticed her and they looked at her, broken. Her daddy knelt in front of her, and he looked at her straight in the eyes. She remembered his eyes, sad and heartbroken. "Sakura," he said, and she nodded, smiling. Be a good girl, she thought, be a good girl and daddy will stay. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, daddy," she smiled, holding back her tears. Be a good girl, she thought. "Are you coming back?"
He looked at her, and he quickly wiped off his tears before she could see them. But she saw them, and she was sad – no, she was devastated. She was seven, but she understood. "I'm sorry, Sakura."
"It's okay, daddy," she kept smiling. "I love you."
He nodded, and he gave her a huge hug. Then he walked out the door without saying goodbye to her mommy. She looked at her mommy, who was still sobbing in the corner, leaning against the wall.
"Mommy, it's okay," she said, carefully stepping around the broken plates. "Mommy I'm here, it's okay."
They hugged and she let her mommy cry throughout the night. Be a good girl, she thought, don't cry and be a good girl. You don't want mommy to leave too.
Two years later, her and mommy moved into grandma's house. Grandma was old but she was strong and energetic. She loved grandma. When mommy wasn't home, grandma would let her sleep in her bed. Mommy started coming home less and less and she was scared.
"Grandma, mommy is not going to leave, right?"
"No, dear," Grandma smiled, patting her head gently. "Mommy loves you very much, she will never leave you."
She was nine, but she was smart. She could hear the lie in grandma's voice but she smiled and nodded.
Mommy came home that night and she was happy. For the first time in two months, she slept with mommy, and she felt safe.
"Do you love me?" she asked whilst nuzzled into mommy's bosom.
"Sakura,"
"Mommy, do you love me?"
"I'm sorry, Sakura."
She squeezed mommy, but she smiled. Be a good girl, she thought. Don't cry and be a good girl.
"It's okay mommy. I love you."
Mommy did not wrap her hands around her at all that night, and she fell asleep cold and scared.
The next morning as she made her way to the kitchen for breakfast, she saw mommy's red suitcase and orange purse waiting by the doorway. Mommy was sitting next to them, putting on her beautiful red high heels.
"Mommy, where are you going?"
"I'll be back, Sakura."
"Mommy I'm scared."
For the first time in two months, mommy patted her and she felt safe. She looked into mommy's eyes and she only saw darkness with no end.
"I'll be back, don't be scared."
"Mebuki," she heard grandma calling from behind her.
"I leave her to you, mom."
Grandma didn't say anything, but she knew. She was scared but she did nothing. She smiled and waved as mommy walked out the door. Mommy turned for a brief second, smiled, waved, and got into a car with a handsome man she had never seen before.
"Let's go eat your breakfast, Sakura," grandma called.
"Grandma, they're gone," she said, smiling.
"Yes," grandma said but she couldn't read her voice. Something else, something much louder was blocking out what grandma was saying.
For the first time in three years, Sakura finally cried. She fell onto the floor and she cried three years' worth of tears, and more tears for the years to come. Grandma hurried to her side, hugged her and cried with her. She cried herself to sleep that day and didn't wake up until the next day.
In the morning, she found her favorite breakfast ready on the table – pancakes with strawberry jam. She smiled.
Be a good girl,
she thought.
Be a good girl, and maybe one day
daddy and mommy will come home.
Be a good girl.
Well that was depressing I actually cried, welp.
I decided to put this chapter right after so that the confusion doesn't drag on.
Anyway, so everything after the prologue will be a flashback, just to make it clear!
Reviews are appreciated.
DD.