This chapter is a flashback!
Just know I'm doing my best here! It's really hard for me to write in english, I have to check the dictionnary every two seconds, but it just feels right (I watch the show in english and read english fanfictions as well, so I cannot imagine writing these characters in french)! I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Then
1 month before
Things had been crazy lately, with the doctors messing with their minds and dropping bodies along the way, they hadn't had many occasions to find themselves alone together. It was the first night in weeks and they spent it studying at the library, trying to find a way to beat them. As usual, it was a complete failure, but it felt nice to spend some time with her.
Malia drove him home...safe, to both their surprise. It was actually the first time she didn't nearly kill them on the road. She looked thrilled like a kid at the foot of the Christmas tree. It was a big step for her. He knew she was trying to fit in, fighting her own demons along the way. It was nice seeing her happy he thought.
« I did it !» she said with pride and shock.
« Yes you did » he confirmed with a smile.
« Mums you can now let your kids out safely » he yelled through the window « Malia Tate is officially a responsible driver».
She laughed. Then suddenly she felt off. He looked at her unsure of what she was going to say next, quite led astray by her unsteady behavior.
« Thank you » she said gazing at him.
« For.. ? » He asked uncertain.
« For being you » she answered.
Her tone seemed to say otherwise. She sounded almost sad. She looked at him deeply.
« I love you Stiles ».
His heart stopped beating for a nano second. Him, Stiles Stilinsky, for once in his life, was speechless. It was rare enough to be worthy of note.
He regained his composure and was about to speak when she cut him off and added:
« But I'm not in love with you »
Ouch. He hadn't seen that one coming. He just stayed petrified with his mouth still opened.
« Uh... » was all he managed to formulate. Very constructive he thought.
« Come on Stiles, I know you feel the same » she said, trying to lighten the mood.
« I can hear you heart you know that, right? » she went on. « I can read your emotions, and you just sounded terrified but not in a thrilled kind of way, just plain terrified and speechless » she emphasized. « That's not the way a guy in love would react to his girlfriend declaration of love. Plus, when I took it off, you felt shaken but not in a shattered way. You were just surprised and hurt but not heartbroken. I might have hurt your self-esteem though».
He was speechless again. He was confused, angry, but even so unable to deny it.
« And what if you were wrong? » He argued.
« I'm not » she said.
His feelings hurt.
« I really do love you though » she pursued with soft eyes « Honestly, I couldn't have done it without you. This world, it felt so alien to me, but you were there every step of the way, leading me, you're like my anchor » she ended.
« Bullshit » he blurt out harsher than he intended to sound. He never took his eyes from her though.
She frowned.
«It's not like I've been using you » She said « The thing we shared, and still do, is true and we both needed it at some point, it just became a little too comfy, it lacks passion and danger and you feel it too» she went on
« Ok, girl, we've been chased by death from day one we've met, we practically live on hell's gate for the matter, if this is not danger enough to you, you've got some serious issues » He said ironically.
She looked at him and just laughed a plain, genuine, laughter.
He realized the absurdity of the whole situation and couldn't repress a smile. He followed her closely. The sound of their laughter's slowly faded in the night and they stayed like that in silence for a while. The tension in the air was now gone.
He looked through the windscreen processing what just happened.
Deep down, he knew she was right. They had found each other's at the right time. Two weirdos trying to sort out their lives, trying to survive in a world they didn't fit in, not for the same reasons for sure, but two weirdos anyway. It was nice to find her. He needed that happy interlude in his life after the nogitsune events. And she became more, so much more than a happy interlude. But was he in love with her however?
She was right about one thing. When she said the L word he felt terrified and not ready to reciprocate, but he couldn't quite figure why. He surely had anticipated that conversation would come and he was truly convinced the girl sitting right beside him was perfect for him. She was loyal and brave. She was confident and a kickass werecoyote. And God she was fucking gorgeous. He couldn't dream of a better girlfriend...or could he...?
Could he?
Lydia...The big elephant in the room, he laughed inwardly...how could he have thought he had gotten over her? Who was he fooling except himself? Of course, he wasn't over her. He remembered how he felt when he saw her bleeding on the floor of the police station after the kanima/chimera episode. He was frozen as if stroke by lightning, unable to move or react properly, helpless...
He sighed.
He truly thought he had move on, but now he was back to square one.
What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he let go of her when he was perfectly aware that she would never feel the same about him? He cursed himself.
Minutes had now gone without exchange of words. He turned his glance back to Malia and realized she was waiting for him to speak.
« That was harsh » he said half serious, half teasing.
«That was necessary » she answered bluntly.
« I feel kind of used » he teased. « I know I'm irresistible but I'm not just a body » he said with a grin.
She punched him in the arm, laughing.
« Don't you dare taking that road » she smiled « For your proper information, I feel kind of used too, have you seen that smile? » She giggled.
He chuckled.
« Friends? » she asked him a bit nervously.
« Friends » he answered with a soft voice. « But we'll say I ended things up » he joked.
« Don't forget I'm the Werecoyote and the one with fangs » She growled.
« Ok, you've won » he surrendered as he walked out of the car smiling tenderly.
He looked at her one last time, struck by her genuine smile. He did love the girl, but she was right, they were not made to be lovers. They were too lost souls that collided at some point and found strength in each other's to carry on. In a way, she was his soul mate, he thought, she would always be important to him, and he would always be important to her. They understood each other's but they didn't crave for one another, at least they hadn't for a long time. Their relationship was comforting and reassuring but not thrilling or exhilarating. They needed more and deserved more.
They never raised the topic again. They didn't talk to the others either. They didn't need to know. There was too much drama already and they would find out soon enough anyway. As for now, it was their small understanding.
So what did you think of their breakup? I really like Malia, I even like her with Stiles, but I just ship Stydia since the very first season,so I wanted to end things smoothly! Please leave a review.