Welcome back! This will probably be the last update until next weekend. There's stuff and nonsense to do, not to mention my other current story, The Day of Burning Skies. So enjoy!

Episode 1, Part 2: And We're Back! (11-20)

"Are we live?"

"Yes, Blackstar, we're live."

"Okey-dokey then!" He grinned at the camera. "Welcome back!"

"Hi," Stardust added, "You know it has that little light on top that turns on when we go live, right?"

Blackstar blinked in surprise. "Really? I thought that was just to keep the venomoths away from the stage. Since we're both weak to bugs and all…"

The espeon sighed. "Blackstar…the stagelights are much more likely to do that than the tiny red ones on top of the cameras."

"But I thought they liked red…"

"And there's your problem," Stardust said, "You were thinking again." She turned to the camera. "Anyway, let's continue, shall we? Now where were we?"

"You were tied up in the broom-closet," Blackstar said. She gave him a withering glare. "And beating me over the head with someone's dinner."

"One of these is going to have to be 'don't tick off a psychic'," she growled.

"Well, we don't have that one but…" Blackstar grinned. "Alright, so most everyone remembers Sabrina, right? For those of you who don't, she's a creepy psychic gym-leader in Kanto. Turned people into plushies. That sort of thing. So this one's for you, Sabrina, if you are somehow watching this. Enjoy."

#11: Don't let the Grunts form a union.

"So how's the interrogation going, Jenny?" Lt. Surge asked as they stood outside the Saffron City jail's holding cells.

"Not too well," Jenny muttered under her breath, "It's those new regulations. And let me tell you, hi-def television costs way too much. And the caviar, Kalosian wine, and concert tickets aren't much better!"

Surge frowned. "Hey, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't we be trying to, you know, make them uncomfortable?"

Jenny smiled humorlessly. "That's the 'old way'. Now, we are a, what's the exact term for it, a reformational facility aimed at the rehabilitation of criminals through faith, love, oh, and pixie dust."

"But…we're at least allowed to hit them, right?" the electric-gym leader asked.

"Nope! 'Gently-worded questions' and 'polite suggestions' only. And if you think that's bad, just wait until Sabrina comes out after serving them their afternoon tea."

"Afternoon tea…?!"

Just then, the door slid open and Sabrina herself emerged, dressed in a very fetching maid's outfit and holding a platter of used dishes. Surge gawked, not entirely displeased with what he was seeing. He grinned.

"Well now, I think I like the new method!" he said with a chuckle.

Suddenly, she was inches away from his face with her trademark whip wrapped around his throat. Her eyes burned into his.

"If you ever tell anyone about this, especially Brock," she hissed, "I will make you live the rest of your days convinced you are a thirteen-year-old ballerina named Sparklefairy! Understand me?"

The events of that day were never spoken of again.

"Ah, it's so nice to be immune to psychic powers!" Blackstar said with a satisfied grin on his face.

"You want to be hit with the frying pan again?" Stardust threatened.

"Nope!"

"Good." She took a deep breath. "Since we are on the subject of the various nefarious teams that inhabit our world, let's continue with a few more about them, shall we?"

#12: Never bring up the question of 'Ninjas vs. Pirates' at a Team Aqua/Magma peace conference.

"So we are agreed then?" Archie said, offering a handshake.

"Yes, I believe we are," Maxie replied with a smile, "Our teams combined shall rule Hoenn forever!"

"That's great, guys, just great," Brandon called from where he was hog-tied in the corner, "But there is still one thing you haven't quite taken care of."

"If you mean Birch's daughter May," Maxie scoffed, "We have the situation in hand."

"May? No! I didn't mean her."

"Then what thing were you talking about?" Archie asked in confusion.

"Simple. Ninjas…or pirates?"

In the ensuing confusion, the newest champion of the elite four was able to slip away. "Best! Idea! Ever!" he said, giving his blaziken a high-five as they quickly exited the building.

The riot went on for three days. Police from Kanto, Johto, and even as far away as Orre flew in to round them up. Even in jail, the two teams had to be separated. Several top-ranking members of the police wanted to arrest Brandon too, but in the end they all agreed that his method had caused way less damage to the region than if the two teams actually had managed to combine.

#13: Don't let Team Rocket start a band.

At first it was just an easy way to get some extra money. When Jessie discovered that James had been trained to play twenty different instruments as a child, she immediately leapt at the chance to capitalize on it. And so, with Meowth playing moderately well on the drums and with her as lead singer, the Rocket Band was born!

Their greatest hits included such songs as 'Team Rocket's Rockin'!', 'Pikachu Blues', and 'We're Blasting Off Again!' Records on sale now!

#14: For the love of Arceus, don't put all the evil teams in one prison!

"Eureka!" Professor Oak exclaimed one night, "I know what we have to do!"

He ran to the phone and called up Jenny. She wasn't terribly impressed.

"You want us to build walls around Viridian City and lock all the Rockets, Magmas, Aguas, Galactics, Plasmas, and Flares inside it? Together? WITHOUT GUARDS?!"

"There would be guards on the towers…" Oak countered.

"Professor…" Jenny sighed, "Just where did you get this idea?"

Oak hesitated. "Well, Blue was playing Arkham City the other day…"

"No," Jenny said flatly, "Just no." And she hung up.

# 15: Also, don't let Team Rocket play Assassin's Creed

"Where'd they go?"

"Spread out! They have to be around here somewhere!"

"Blast it! I don't see them anywhere!"

Meanwhile, on a nearby bench, three figures in white robes sat reading newspapers and giggling in unison. "I told you these disguises would work, Jessie!" James said.

"An' they're not so scratchy as da mustaches we usually wear!" Meowth added.

"Hey! You there!"

The trio straightened in alarm as an officer approached them. Jessie gulped. "Y-yes, officer?"

"Pardon me, ma'am, but we're looking for Team Rocket. Have you seen them lately?"

Mew leaned over towards Mewtwo. "Enjoying yourself yet?"

"No. But a thought did occur to me."

"Really?!" Mew squealed and leapt into his lap. "What is it? Is it fun?!"

"Humans are stupid."

Mew blinked. "Really? That's it?"

The larger psychic glared at him. "Yes, that's it. What were you expecting?"

"You are a big spoil-sport," Mew said, "That's all I have to say. You are a big spoil-sport."

Mewtwo rolled his eyes. "Well then, I'll keep that in mind for the future."

"You do that."

"And now," Blackstar said dramatically, "For another meme."

"Oh…wonderful," Stardust muttered under her breath.

"Hey! I picked this out myself!"

"That's what I'm worried about," she said, dead-pan.

#16: Don't give a mudkip a hat and monocle.

May blinked in surprise. Sure, it was a bit weird that contests in Sinnoh involved dressing up your Pokémon, but she never imagined this result! The other trainer's mudkip stood on two legs, sporting a waistcoat, top-hat, monocle, and pocket-watch. It caught her staring and approached.

"Excuse me, madam, but it has been brought to my attention by persons other than yourself that you liek mudkips."

Stardust sighed heavily. "That was bad."

Her umbreon partner pouted. "I rather liked it, thank you very much."

"In that case," Stardust said, "I'll make sure that you stay away from the script-room in the future. Now, on to some actually funny ones! Iapappa berries, for instance, can cause some rather…entertaining moments."

"Especially when fermented!" Blackstar chimed in.

"Which leads right into this next series," she finished, "Enjoy."

#17 Don't ferment Iapappa Berries.

It was James' scheme this time. Sell the juice at the fair where the twerps were and, when they were all suffering from confusion, they could swoop in, perform their motto, and nab Pikachu once and for all!

Unfortunately, the fair got delayed and Meowth forgot to stick the juice in the refrigerator, so it didn't taste terribly good when the time came to sell it. Things got worse when the patrons started staggering around drunkenly and screaming about giant, flying trashcans about to kill them all.

The trio was arrested for selling intoxicating substances without a proper license.

"And we didn't even get ta use dat nice, fancy mech we bought!" Meowth lamented.

"Oh? Which one did you pick?" Jessie asked.

"Da 'Pinch-a-Chu 9000'."

"Wait, that one costs a lot of money," James said, "How did we pay for it?"

Meowth grinned nervously. "Hey Jimmy-boy, remember how ya lost yer collection of all dose rare bottlecaps?"

"Yes…" James replied, not liking where this was going.

"Well, da ting is, IsoldthemandI'mreallysorryoharceusdon'tstrangleme-URK!"

#18: If I do ferment Iapappa berries, I will not give Mew any.

"Wheeeeee! Stars! Planets! My tail! Ooh! Shiny!"

Latios sighed and massaged his temples. Victini's latest 'prank' certainly led to some interesting results. "Mew, that is a candy-bar wrapper. Leave it alone."

"NO! It's mine! My own! My shiny!"

Latias frowned. "Isn't that a Lord of the Rings reference?"

Mew giggled. "Yep!"

There was a loud crack and the fourth wall shattered into a thousand pieces. Latios glared at his sister.

"Oops?" she offered apologetically.

#19: And, for the sake of all that is good and beautiful, don't give Arceus any.

Giratina, Dialga, and Palkia rarely agree, but they all believe that this is how dunsparces came to be. That, or their creator has a much bigger sense of humor than they previously expected. Then again, he did also make Mew…

"And magikarps, and stunfisks, and shuckles, and…"

"I get it, Mew," Mewtwo said with an annoyed growl in his voice, "He made a lot of strange Pokémon."

"Well, we're just about done for tonight," Blackstar said, "But before we go, we have one more to show you!"

"And this is a special one," Stardust said with a slightly twisted smile.

Blackstar took a step away from her. "Oh goodness…"

"It's dedicated to you, Blackstar…"

"Um, is it too late to run? Because running sounds like a good idea now…"

"I'm still mad about being locked in the closet…"

Blackstar gulped. "Yeah…about that. Can I just say I'm sorry and have done with it?"

Stardust smiled sweetly and for a moment Blackstar felt a surge of hope. "No." The hope dies a brutal, murderous death. "And so…

"Oh dear…"

"This last clip is…"

"Please don't say it's what I think it is…"

"From your childhood, Blackstar."

Blackstar pursed his lips and gave a sharp, little nod. "Yep! That's exactly what I was afraid of!"

Stardust turned towards the camera and beamed. "And now, for your enjoyment…number 20."

#20: I won't start a zombie apocalypse.

A painfully fluffy and cute eevee fled across the Viridian Forest floor. He panted, limbs trembling as he tried to keep up a good pace. They were coming! He had to warn everyone!

He dove into a small den underneath a tree. "Mommy! Daddy! Zombies are coming!"

"There's no such thing as zombies, dear," a leafeon replied.

The eevee took a deep breath. "Remember those creepy insects with mushrooms on their backs?"

"That herd of Paras? Yes, why?" a flareon replied, standing next to his mate.

"Well…they evolved and…look at them now…"

The two eeveelutions peered out the front of their den. They saw what could only be described as a horde of crab-like Pokémon with huge mushrooms on their backs making their way slowly through the forest.

"Meat…" one groaned.

"Fresh…flesh…"

"Brains!"

"Ah," the flareon and leafeon said in unison. They turned back towards their son. "Those are just parasects. They're like that," the flareon said.

"Honey, this is a good time to talk about being tolerant of other Pokémon's lifestyles," the leafeon added, "But first, let's run!"

"Yes, I rather like that idea! Climb on my back, son! Life lessons can wait until we're no longer about to be eaten."

"Aw…" Stardust cooed, "You looked so cute back then!" The umbreon was curled up in a tiny ball and shivering. She poked him. "Um…Blackstar? You okay?"

"That was the most traumatic day of my life…"

Stardust blinked and her ears drooped. "Oh, sorry…didn't think about…"

"They stole my favorite stick!" he said, angrily bounding to his feet, "I loved to chew on that thing! If I ever find them, I'll..."

"Aaaaaand never mind," she muttered, "Sheltered life much?"

Blackstar sighed and extended his paw. "So...are we even now?"

She took it. "Yep!"

"Good!" Suddenly, he was his normal, bouncy self again. "Goodnight, everyone! I hope you enjoyed the show! And while you're here, don't forget to check out the other sights!"

"For instance, Crystal Falls is beautiful this time of night," Stardust added.

"Yep! So, until next week, everyone! See ya!"

Stardust waved with one of her forepaws. "Bye!"

As soon as the room was clear, a minccino stepped onstage with a small crew behind her. "Alright, people!" she said in a loud, authoritative voice, "Let's break it down! Then, we can get this place swept clean! And I want everything stored away! Neatly! Understand?"

"Yes, Cicci!" they chorused and immediately got to work.

Meanwhile, Mew floated over to Stardust and Blackstar. "Yay! It went well! I could hug you both!"

Stardust bowed. "A pleasure, director Mew."

Blackstar grinned. "Oh, it was fun! Poke-Park is a really nice place to live. Thanks for recruiting us! Rehearsal on Monday?"

"Yep! Bright and early!" Mew replied, "Have a good weekend! See you then!" He zipped off to cause mischief elsewhere.

The two of them exited the studio together. Stardust sighed contentedly. "I can't wait to get home and have a hot bath…"

"Yeah…" Blackstar hesitated. "Hey, you know what you said about Crystal Falls?"

She glanced over at him. "Yes…"

"Well, I was just wondering if you'd…like to go see it together. It'd be a good chance to catch up on things, since we haven't really had a whole lot of time to hang out socially lately."

"Maybe another time," she replied, but she gave him a genuine smile, "Thanks for offering though. See you Monday!"

"Yeah…see you…" he said weakly as she scampered off into the night. Her tail disappeared around a corner and he sighed. "Oh well…" A smile fluttered across his face. "Hmm, so much for that. I wonder what the guys are doing down in the Forest Area…"