Author's Note: I love my readers! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! You all are great!
Peter was more than happy to be home. As he pulled up in the driveway, he realized how lucky he was to have a home…to have El…to have someone who he could always rely on. Learning that Kate was alive, had made him realize just how much he took for granted. He only wished that he could spare Neal the pain he knew his friend was going to feel.
El looked up from the couch as Peter walked through the door. Her smile died on her face as she saw him. "Honey, what's wrong?"
Peter sighed. "It is that obvious?"
"Yes," said Elizabeth, giving her husband a kiss. "Now come sit down and tell me why you look like someone just died."
Peter laughed mirthlessly, as he sat down next to his wife. "Funny you say that…seeing as how the exact opposite is true."
"Someone was born?" Elizabeth asked, puzzled. "How is that a bad thing?"
"No, that's not what I meant." Peter sighed.
"What?" Elizabeth asked. "Tell me."
"Kate's alive." He looked at his wife, waiting to see her reaction. Elizabeth stared at him in shock.
"Wow…are you sure?"
Peter nodded. "Diana showed me a picture she was in…it was taken yesterday, El."
"Does Neal know?" Elizabeth, guessing that's why this piece of news upset her husband. She knew how much Peter cared about his CI, even if he did try and hide it.
Peter shook his head. "Not yet. When Diana showed me the picture, Neal was joking around with Jones, and he just…he looked so happy. I knew this would hurt him…and I couldn't do that to him."
"Honey," Elizabeth said, taking his hand, "I get that you are trying to protect Neal, but he deserves to know the truth, as painful as it is."
"I know," Peter said, giving her hand a squeeze, "which is why I decided to wait until tomorrow. I want to let him have one last day before his world fell apart."
"Okay." Elizabeth understood. "I just hope it won't be that painful."
"Honey," Peter said, "how would you feel if you I let you think I was dead for two and a half years?"
"Point taken."
The two sat in silent for several minutes, each busy with their own thoughts. It was Elizabeth that spoke first. "What do you think she did it…let Neal think she was dead, I mean."
Peter sighed. "Who knows?" He shook his head sadly, "I've never really trusted Kate…and this only seems to prove I was right not to."
"Try not to judge her too harshly, Hon," Elizabeth advised, "not until you have all the facts. She may have been trying to protect Neal for all we know."
"I doubt it," Peter said, "but you're right: I shouldn't judge until I know everything, and I guess if Neal will be able to forgive her, than I will too."
Elizabeth kissed her husband on the cheek. "Now, try to think of something else…something pleasant. I hate to see you like this."
Peter gave her a smile small. "I'll try, but I'm warning you, it won't be easy."
"Well, just as long as you try," she said.
Peter couldn't sleep. He had done as Elizabeth had suggested and had thought of others things. He had even managed to laugh about something one of her clients had done, but now that they were in bed and she was asleep, Peter felt his mind dwelling on the events of the day again.
He knew that he needed rest, but he was not looking forward to the following morning. He knew that he would have to be true to his word and tell Neal. It was not a conversation that he wanted to have, yet it had to be done. If only there were a way to tell Neal without hurting him, but there wasn't. No matter gently Peter broke the news to him, the truth would hurt him. So Peter decided that the only thing he could was be there for his friend.
Peter heard the soft buzz of his cell phone. Not waking to wake Elizabeth, he softly reached over and grabbed it. He gently threw off the covers and tip-toed out to the hall before answering it. "Hello?"
"Peter? It's Sara. Something's wrong with Neal."
Peter felt his mind go on alert at the mention of Neal's name. "Why? What's happened?"
"I don't know exactly," said Sara, and Peter thought she sounded like she was about to cry. "He just showed up at my place. He had a gash on his head. When I asked him what was wrong, he just started crying. Peter, he couldn't stop. He couldn't even talk. I was eventually able to get him to the hospital to get his head looked at, but then he started up again."
As Peter listened to Sara, he felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know how, but somehow Neal had found out about Kate…he was sure of it. It was the only thing that made sense.
"Was he able to talk at all, to tell you what's wrong?" he asked, dreading the answer he feared was coming.
"No," answered Sara, "and I wasn't going to press him. Peter, I'm really worried about him. I've never seen him like this. Something terrible most have happened to make him cry like this."
"I guess you could say that," Peter said, thinking about Kate.
"Peter? Do you know what happened?"
Peter sighed. "I have a pretty good guess."
"Tell me."
"Sara….listen, I want to make sure before I tell you. Let me talk to Neal."
"He's asleep. Do you want me to wake him?"
"No, let him sleep," Peter decided, "he needs all the rest he can get. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Keep an eye on him, though. Okay?"
"Okay. Peter, whatever this is…help him, please." Peter could hear the pleading in her voice and he wished there was something he could do, but that was not possible.
"I'll try," he promised.
"Thanks. Talk to you later, Peter. Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Sara." Peter hung up. I'm so sorry, Neal, he thought. Why hadn't he told Neal earlier when he had the chance? Now Neal knew, and Peter wasn't there for him. Peter closed his eyes. The only thing he could do was show up tomorrow and show Neal that he could count on him.
With a heavy heart, Peter went back to bed, and like Neal softly cried himself to sleep.
Neal's eyes felt heavy when he opened them the next morning. He sat up and rubbed them. Kate. The shock of seeing her was still fresh in her mind, but now he could think more clearly than he could the night before.
He looked at the clock on Sara's dresser. It was still pretty early, but Neal wanted to take a walk before going to work. He needed to think things over. There was a lot he had to think about.
He gently opened the door to the bed room. He stepped out of the room, and spotted Sara lying on her couch. She was fast asleep. A small smile crept to Neal's lips at the sight of her, but then he let out a sigh.
He slowly crept up to her and placed a light kiss on her fore head. She stirred but didn't wake. "Thanks, Sara," he whispered, "thanks for everything." Then he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote her a note, leaving it on her kitchen table before leaving.
It wasn't until he started walking down the street, that he realized that was still wearing the same cloths from yesterday, that indeed he had fallen asleep in them. He figured he must look pretty shoveled.
He thought about going back to June's and getting a shower and a change of clothes, but he quickly dismissed that thought. He didn't know if Kate was still there, and he didn't feel like confronting her just yet. Instead, he decided to head to the Burke's.
Suddenly something clicked. Peter. Peter knew about Kate. It would explain his behavior the day before. Somehow Peter had found out…and hadn't told him. Neal suddenly felt a little angry at his friend for keeping this from him. Neal wished Peter had told him. Finding out from Peter would have been preferable to finding out when Kate suddenly showed up at his room.
Going to the Burke's he decided, would give him a double purpose. So with a renewed sense of determination he head over there. When he arrived though, he realized that Peter and Elizabeth might still be asleep. He didn't want to wake them, but then he noticed that Peter's car was gone.
Neal knocked. A few seconds later, Elizabeth opened the door. She looked both surprised and pleased to see him. "Neal! Peter's not here. He left early for work just about five minutes ago."
"That's alright," Neal said, hiding his disappoint at not being able to talk to Peter, but he quickly realized that he could talk to him about at the FBI. "Um…is it okay if I use your shower?" He found his request a little awkward. "It's just…"
"It's okay, Neal. Go right ahead." Elizabeth stepped aside to let him in and she was looking at him with such sympathy that Neal knew Peter must have told her about Kate.
"Thanks." He headed to the bathroom. The water felt refreshing and Neal staid in there much longer than he had originally intended. By the time he got out, he realized that he had to hurry or he'd be late for work. Then he noticed that his cloths had been washed, dried, and ironed. He smiled. Thanks, Elizabeth.
He quickly got dressed, thanked Elizabeth for the shower and clean clothes. "You want something to eat before you go?" she asked.
Neal shook his head. "I don't have much of an appetite, I'm afraid." Elizabeth just nodded understandingly and she didn't try and stop him when he left.
Neal stepped off the elevator and took a deep breath. Time to talk to Peter. He quickly spotted the FBI agent in his office. He passed Diana on his way. She gently reached out and gave his arm a quick supportive squeeze before moving on. He just nodded in return.
He opened the door to Peter's office and sat down opposite his friend. Peter looked up and without missing a beat said, "Sara called me last night."
"Did she?" Neal tried to sound indifferent, but failed miserably.
"She's worried about you," said Peter, and he silently added, as am I.
"I guess I did give her quite a scare," Neal said, not looking Peter in the eye.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked. He already knew (or thought he knew) the answer, he just wanted to hear Neal say it.
Neal looked up. "You know what. I know you found out yesterday…that's why you were acting so strangely." He sat forward. "How did you find out, anyway?"
"Diana showed me some pictures that she was in…they were taken the day before yesterday."
"Why didn't you tell me, Peter?" Peter couldn't miss the accusatory note in Neal's voice. He didn't fell offended by it. He knew he deserved it.
"Because I knew how much this would hurt you and I wanted to give you one more day of happiness before the world came crashing down around you. Neal," Peter held his friend's gaze, "I was going to tell you this morning. That's the truth, but then Sara called last night and I knew you had found out."
"I see," said Neal, thoughtfully, feeling the last of his anger fade.
"How did you find out?" asked Peter.
Neal sighed. "She was in my room when I got home yesterday."
"What?" Peter asked. "You actually saw her…you talked to her? What did she say?"
"Nothing…nothing important. I was so shocked, I turned right around and ran. I haven't been back there since…I'm not sure if I'm ready to face her yet."
"I understand," said Peter, "but, Neal, you are going to have to face her eventually. You know that, right?"
Neal nodded, reluctantly. "I know. I can't hide from her forever. I…I'm just not ready yet."
"Fine," said Peter. "If you want someone with you when you are ready, I'd be more than happy to go with you."
"Thanks," said Neal, "but I think it would be better if I went alone. Seeing a fed might just spook her and I might not get any answers."
"Alright," agreed Peter. Both were silent for a moment before Peter stated, "I'm assuming you didn't tell Sara."
Neal sighed. "I don't know how to. I can still barely believe it myself. And…" he hesitated, "and I don't want to hurt her."
Peter smiled. "You still have feelings for her, don't you?"
"Yes," Neal admitted, "and for a while I was secretly hoping that we'd get back together…but now…" he sighed. "I'm not gonna lie, Peter. I thought I was over Kate, but seeing her alive…I don't know anything anymore. I don't want her hurt either."
"There's only two ways this can go, Neal," Peter reminded him, "either Kate gets hurt or Sara does. There is no way to spare both of them. The choice is up to you."
"I know," said Neal, sounding defeated.
"Why don't you take the day off," suggested Peter, "Take the time to think things through. Do what you feel needs to be done."
Neal nodded and stood. "Thanks. I don't think I could focus on work much anyway."
"I know what you mean," said Peter.
Neal turned to go. "Neal." Neal turned back. "Take care. Kate and Sara aren't the only ones who could get hurt," Peter told him. Neal nodded.
"That reminds me," he said, pulling out his cell, "I need to make a call."
Author's Note: So, who will Neal choose? Who do you think he should choose? And (as always) review!