Phyl7375: Shhh! Don't ask those questions! ;) I was wondering if someone was going to call that out. Short answer as to how: because I'm the author, and that's how it went in my head :).
The next four days were some of the most draining that Jack could ever remember in his life. The fact that he was already exhausted coming into it wasn't helping at all, and that he was trying to be a solid rock for Sue to lean on meant that he wouldn't show his anger, frustration, or exhaustion around her. He couldn't place yet another burden on the sweet young woman, even if she had said that she wanted him to. It wasn't fair to her.
Rachel's parents had stopped by to see Sue and Jack the day following the accident, offering their condolences to Sue and passing on information about the wake and funeral to Jack. They were trying to hold it together, and were insistent that each must find joy in their faith, that this was not the end of their relationship with their daughter, just a change. Jack, having started back into his faith at the prompting of Sue several months before he met Rachel, also found an intellectual comfort, but he was too tired to try to marshal his feelings into line with what he knew. With a fond farewell and a promise to see them at the wake, they left Jack with his thoughts as Sue slept.
Matt's parents had stopped by to see Sue afterwards, and it was a little more tense. They were very concerned and kind to Sue, even offering to take care of her since her family was all out of town. When she let them know that Jack would be taking care of her, they gave Jack a cold shoulder. It hurt Sue to see them treat him like that, but Jack just took it and didn't say a word in complaint. When Sue had tried to let them know what Jack had lost in the accident as well, he silenced her with a look. "It's mine to bear, not theirs. They need someone to be mad at, so let it be me. I've got broad shoulders." He had told her after they had left. But she had seen the pain and anger in his eyes while it was occurring.
She didn't like how he was shoving all of his emotions inside, but what could she do? He was so exhausted that, even though he tried to hide it, she could clearly see it in the dark circles under his eyes, the bloodshot eyes, the slump of the shoulders when he thought no one was looking. He stubbornly slept on the cot so that he could be there if she woke up, and so he was constantly wakened by the parade of nurses with pain-killers and the vampires (as he called those who drew blood). She just wanted him to rest! But what could she do? So she waited, and hoped that he would soon crash, before he broke.
Things almost got very ugly at Matt's funeral. Sue had badgered and badgered until they had finally agreed to let her go to the liturgy. "But only the liturgy, mind you, Sue. Jack, make sure she comes back right after. We can give her enough pain-killers to dull the pain, but it will be very uncomfortable. Then it will start to wear off, and we want her back here so that she can rest and we can re-administer the meds." Jack had agreed, thankful that Sue would be able to go to Matt's funeral. He knew how important the liturgy was; giving hope to those left behind and closure to the entire ordeal.
The mass was lovely, and though there was sorrow, there was also hope and joy. The young man had died in a state of grace, and so each hoped to see him again one day in heaven. As everyone was filing out, one of Matt's brothers had walked over, a belligerent look on his face. He eyed Jack as he stood with Sue as she sat in a wheelchair, staring at the tabernacle, and sneered at Sue. "Didn't take you long to pick the rival over Matt. He's not even buried yet!" Bobby, D, and Myles, who were standing nearby, growled and started forward. But Jack beat them all to it. The other three stood there holding their breath that Jack wouldn't do something that would get him arrested or fired.
Jack's head snapped around, fury blazing in his eyes. Before Sue could even respond, Jack strode between Sue and Damon, placing himself in front of Sue. He took another step forward, forcing Damon to take a step back. "You dirty little bastard. Did you somehow miss the tears on her face? The pain in her eyes? You somehow think so little of her that she would be run around right after he died?! You think that little of your brother, that he would date someone like that?!" Jack reached out and hauled the other man up on his toes by his shirt front. "How dare you!"
Suddenly, Sue's quiet voice cut through the scene. "Jack." Struggling to control his temper, Jack released Damon, and turned back to Sue. "I can fight for my own honor."
"You shouldn't have to! If he were a real man, he wouldn't have ever considered saying something like that to a grieving woman, let alone a grieving woman who is hurt!" He shot a murderous glance at Damon. "A real man would offer comfort, not ridicule!"
"Jack." Her quiet voice drew his attention back to her. "I know." She smiled a very small smile that only those who knew her well could see. "Thank you. But Jack…please." He knew what she was asking. And as much as he wanted to beat the snot out of Damon, he couldn't go against her wishes in something like this. He nodded, his obvious displeasure at it etched all over his face. He turned back to Damon, who was looking pale. Jack stuck his finger under Damon's nose. "I make allowance for your pain this once. Pray that you don't run into me when Sue isn't there to intercede on your behalf."
Damon began to turn to go. Jack caught his shoulder, pulling him halfway back around. "Just to give you something to consider before shooting your mouth off again; the driver of the other car? The other one who died? That was my girlfriend. Be grateful that I have more respect for your pain than you have for anyone else's. Now go bury your dead!" And shoved him away, causing Damon to stagger, white with fear.
Jack took a deep breath. "I need to get out of here. I've never been so close to beating someone since…" Bobby nodded. Since the last time that Sue was in trouble. He pulled Jack into another hug. "Come on, mate. You need to sleep. Let's get you fed, watered, and put to bed. Sue will take a nap once she gets back to the hospital, right Sue?" He raised his eyebrows as a signal for her to agree. She picked it up at once. Plus, Bobby had a point. She could do with a nap after this, providing she could fall asleep. She was definitely looking forward to the dose of pain-killers that would be there when she got back.
"Yup. Once they drug me up, I'll be going to bed." Bobby nodded. "I'll look after her until evening, and you are to go home and sleep. Understand? No arguments. Go." Jack nodded without complaint. That's when Bobby knew just how tired he was. The poor man, fighting everyone's battles and not taking time to recover. Jack himself knew that he was going to break if he didn't rest soon, and Sue needed him healthy.
Sue called out to him, stopping him short. "Jack." He turned back to her, a questioning look on his face. "Thank you. I really appreciated you standing up for me. Just know that you don't have to be my white knight if you don't want to. You aren't obligated to." Jack gave her a long look. "I want to be able to protect you, Sue, if I can. Until you tell me that you don't want me to, I fully intend to keep doing so." She smiled at him; a real, genuine smile. "Then I'll be in safe hands. Thank you, Jack." He nodded, then turned and walked to his car.
Rachel's funeral the next day was much less tense for Jack. He had persuaded Sue to stay in the hospital for Rachel's funeral before Matt's funeral, so he wasn't worried about trying to interpret for her or to try to keep her comfortable. He also wasn't dealing with a family that, for some reason, thought he was trying to steal Sue. He relaxed, just being present with God, listening to His Word, and allowing himself to participate fully in the mystery of the mass. Yes, there was sorrow and sadness, wondering about what may have been. But there was peace now that Jack hadn't had. He was finally able to just be with God and hand it all over. Long after the graveside prayers had concluded, Jack could be found right back in front of the tabernacle.
"Jack." He slowly turned around and sat back. "Hey Bobby." Bobby walked up to where he was, genuflected, then sat with him. "You alright?"
Jack smiled slightly. "Actually, yes." He turned back to the tabernacle. "Yeah, it hurts. Yeah, it sucks. But now...even though it does, I'm at peace. You know the wonderful thing about the Communion of Saints, Bobby? Rachel and I can pray for each other, and it doesn't mean that we stop being friends. Just...different now." He grinned at Bobby. "I know I will cry again, it will ebb and flow. But I realized that, as much as she was wonderful, and I was growing to love her, we were only dating 8 months. I will recover, and it may happen faster than I anticipate." He laughed a bit. "We'll see."
Bobby gave him a long look. He was happy that his best friend was allowing himself to heal. The 15 hours of sleep that he had gotten the previous day/night had helped a great deal, though he was ripping mad when he woke up that Bobby had snuck in and turned off his alarm. And now he was just letting himself recover in the presence of God. Nothing really helps more. It's about time that he finally took a breath. However...
"You know that it's almost 5?" Jack looked over, surprised. "What? 5? I'm sorry Bobby, I should have returned sooner." Bobby held up his hand to silence Jack. "Shut up. You needed it. And it gave Lucy, Tara, and I a chance to be with Sue. However, you haven't eaten since breakfast. Let's go get supper and we will get you back to Sue. She was worried about you until I promised to come find you."
Jack smacked his forehead and jumped up. Bobby grabbed his arm. "Down, boy! Relax, she knows where you are, and you needed to have some time in the church. So you didn't do anything wrong. What do you want to eat? I'm hungry!" Jack relaxed, and with a laugh, followed Bobby out of the church with a wave back at Jesus.
He walked into Sue's hospital room two hours later, and with a gentle smile greeted Tara and Sue. "I can take over, Tara, if you want to go home. Thank you for helping, I really appreciate it." She waved him away. "Learn to share Sue some, Jack. I want to see her more for girl talk, so if you want to go to adoration, let me know and I'll be over! Sue, it was wonderful to see you awake and well. Don't let him push you around!" She said with a wink. "Bobby outside?"
Jack grinned and nodded. "Take care Tara." After she left, Jack settled in to a chair by Sue. "Hey." She said. She thought he looked much much better than he had the day before yesterday. The tension had left his face, the lines that seemed constantly carven into his face had left, his shoulders seemed to be less bowed, and his eyes seemed brighter. Sue had heard how Bobby had duped Jack into a long sleep and ordered him to the funeral without stopping by to see Sue again. Though she had missed him and the comfort his presence brought, she knew he was better off and so had happily played along with Bobby's plan. But when he hadn't shown back up several hours after the funeral had ended, she had gotten very worried, especially with what had just happened. Bobby had told her to take a breath and that he would go find him.
"Hey, Sue, I'm sorry, I should have come back-" Sue interrupted him. "Don't be silly. I can see how much it's done for you. You should have gotten sleep and went to adoration sooner. As much as I love having you around, I won't break without you here. You need to take care of yourself."
Jack blushed and hung his head slightly. "I'm sorry Sue." She took his hand and squeezed it. "All is forgiven. Just don't do it again. Now, talk to me about something not related to work." Jack smiled and obliged her.