Chapter Three

~Mindoir~

She was angry with herself. She loved this man so completely, trusted him with her life, was willing to die to protect him. Hell, after the crucible had fired and she lay there in the wreckage of the Citadel, with her life draining out of her, her body so broken she could barely catch a breath, he was what she focused on. When he took her broken body into his arm and sobbed as she eventually began to slip away, she felt at peace, her only regrets were not having more time with him and causing him pain by leaving him again. Why was it so hard to talk to him about this? She liked the idea of him being the only one to know everything about her but she was scared of seeming weak. She'd spent the last 18 years not thinking about that day, keeping it buried. She'd become a loner, not wanting to get close to anyone. If you don't get attached you don't get hurt when you lose people. She closed her eyes as she remembered Kaidan's lifeless body on Mars and she knew it was too late, her attachment to this man was so deep and binding that she'd be irreparably broken if she lost him. She swallowed hard and licked her lips, making sure that he couldn't see her face lest she lose her nerve.

"There was a little stream in a narrow valley that snaked through the woods on the edge of our farm."

He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he started when she began talking.

"It was my special place." She sighed deeply "It was beautiful. The trees were dense and constantly covered in blossom. They smelled amazing, like cinnamon and vanilla. The ground was mostly moss so it had a soft spongy feel to it. The bank was covered with wild flowers and there was a large patch of Astrum Blossoms under one of the trees. They're my favourite flower, they only grow on Mindoir. Astrum is Latin for star or heaven, they're called that because if the temperature is just right as the sun sets, they open fully and they sparkle like stars in the night sky. Something to do with bioluminescence I think. I used to go to the stream all the time with Klarke, he was my best friend when I was a kid. He was Earthborn and moved to Mindoir when I was 7. His parents brought the next farming grid over from ours. He had this thing for climbing trees. I was a total girly girl back then, you'd never see me in trousers, I was always in dresses and it used to drive him mad because he wanted me to climb with him, but I wouldn't so I always ended up sitting by the stream shouting up at him as he hopped from branch to branch."

Kaidan smiled at the thought of Shepard as a prim little girl and squeezed her shoulder gently in encouragement, not wanting to say anything in case he disrupted her sudden openness.

"I swear that place was magical! It was where I decided I was going to be a musician when I grew up. Where I wrote my first song. Where I realised that Klarke was actually pretty good looking as boys went. We had our first kiss stood in the middle of the Astrums, hell it's even where we lost our virginity together." She paused drawing in a ragged breath and he could feel her body stiffen in his arms. "It's uhhhh... also where we were... the day the Batarians came."

She was quiet for a few moments as she fought to get her breathing back under control. Kaidan held her patiently, running his fingers through the hair cropped at the base of her neck. Shepard sighed and reluctantly let herself fall into her memories.

It was a warm and sunny Sunday down by the stream. The ground was painted in a dappled light that found its way through the dense tree blossoms. Fine pollen and dander floated in the air, heightening the magical appearance of the small secluded area.

Klarke Coulson lay stretched out on his stomach with his head buried in a rather substantial school book, a look of bemused confusion playing across his Native American features. He is a handsome young man, tall but not lanky, well toned from years of playing astroball for the school team. His dark thick hair is soft and cropped short with a slight flick at the front. His innocent, open smile lights up a room and is wonderfully infectious, but his best feature is his eyes. Big, warm, friendly eyes, so rich and dark they are almost black. He sighs and drops his head into the intimidating textbook letting out an exaggerated groan.

Shepard glances over at him, lying on her back at his side. Her hands knitted behind her head, buried in her thick long brown hair, as she gives him a smug smile. She drapes a long slender leg over his and snakes her arm around his bicep, leaning over to plant a delicate kiss on his shoulder.

"You should have started it when I did, then we could be doing something much more fun right now" she mumbled into his arm, following it up with another kiss before leaning back on her elbows.

They both had a big assignment due on Monday and as per usual, the ever diligent Shepard had already finished several days earlier but typically, Klarke hadn't even started yet.

"You know what Tehila? One as beautiful as you really shouldn't gloat." He retorted calling her by her pet name in his native tongue. He leant over her, attempting to hide his smile behind a scowl but failing miserably and deciding to kiss her instead. She grinned at him as he pulled back and returned his focus to his assignment.

Brining up her arm and activating her omni-tool she scrolled through her extensive music collection. Music was her passion, she lived and breathed it. Back then, before the scars of the raid, an Alliance career had never crossed her mind, Shepard was hell bent on being a musician. Her father had encouraged all his children to learn an instrument, but Shepard was the only one who had stuck at it. She'd begun learning the piano at 5 and by 16 she was extremely accomplished on the instrument and, as it turned out, she had also had a breathtakingly beautiful singing voice. At such a young age she was already making money of the back of her talents, singing at events at school and in and around the colony. Only a few days before, she had learned that she had be awarded a place at a very prestigious music school back on Earth in New York. In less than two years she would be leaving Mindoir, the only home she had ever known and heading back to the home of humanity. She was excited to see Earth, but at the same time, she loved Mindoir and its primeval rustic beauty.

Then there was Klarke, she couldn't bear the thought of leaving him behind. He was adamant that this wouldn't happen. He was applying to every school he could on Earth and had promised that if he didn't get in to any of them, he would get a job there, study over the extranet and they would live together in the student apartment she would be allocated. She grinned at the thought of them living together. It seemed so ridiculously grown up, scary and exciting all at the same time.

Selecting a classical piece that she was trying to perfect to surprise her father for his upcoming birthday, she inserted her ear buds, settled back down and closed her eyes letting herself be swept away by the rich piece of orchestral music.

She jerked awake with a start, not realising that she had fallen asleep. The classical piece she had selected was still playing so she couldn't have slept long. She squinted against the sunlight confused, Klarke was shaking her awake and as he came into focus she noticed that all the colour had drained from his face and he bore a look of sheer panic. He was talking to her but she couldn't hear him over the music. She felt a cold icy dread pool in the pit of her stomach and immediately pulled out the ear buds and that's when she heard the gun fire and screams in the distance.

"...ide over there!"

"What?" she breathed finally able to hear him.

"I said something is very wrong, I'm going to try and get a look from the top of that tree. You go hide over there!" He gestured to the large hollow tree just inside the tree line where they stashed their blanket and drinks. "Don't come back out until I come get you, understand?" He cupped her face and kissed her forehead before pushing her in the direction of the tree. Feeling dazed and confused she ran to the tree and wriggled through the small opening, scratching her shoulder painfully on the rough bark. Once inside the small space, she sat and hugged her knees to her chest breathing heavily. She stayed that way for what seemed like hours but in reality it was under 10 minutes.

She glanced around her nervously and suddenly stilled, holding her breath as she heard heavy footsteps approaching the tree.