Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. Not even the walking, and don't talk like they do. And quit smiling, I see you smiling.
The Kobold Necromancer's Warning - I'd like to just clear up rumors here. I am not a robot or android, like some people have asked. I am a master of the living dead, can't you tell by my name?
Chapter 3 - The Three C's: Competition, Contest, Challenges.
(New School - 3, Old School - 2.)
"Are you two doing okay up there?" Chris shouted through a megaphone.
Ezekiel peered over the edge, gripping the side of the platform way up high in the air. Turning green and white at the same time from the incredible height, he managed to shout back, "Y-yes."
Clive sat nearby him, shaking as well. This far up was freezing, and the emo boy's hair blew in the frigid wind. Luckily, both boys were dressed in thick clothing, so they weren't too uncomfortable
"Remember, you two are up three thousand feet," Chris reminded them. "That's almost a mile high!"
"Gee, thanks," Clive muttered under his breath. "I was wondering why I was rehearsing what I'll say to the reaper."
"Your challenge," the host continued, "is that one of you jump off that platform. There is a pool down here, a rather big one, but I'd sure to hate to be you if you miss it. First one to find the courage to jump wins!"
Ezekiel swallowed hard. He had been surprised enough when Clive and he were on this platform. The two had just stood where Chris had told them, and then they were suddenly being raised into the air.
"How did they build a three thousand foot platform underneath the stadium," he had thought, "and why? For this one challenge?"
Down on the ground, Heather was close to freaking out. The queen bee was in danger of cutting her palms open with her nails, her hands were clenched so tight. Bridgette, Izzy, and Tyler were also worried sick; Izzy had gone to Hannah and asked her to make sure God was watching her Zeke.
"Jump over the side?" Ezekiel whimpered as he looked over said side. "Oh boy..."
The prairie boy had actually been excited for the thousand foot cliff on the first day of TDI, but three times that height was a whole other ball game.
"Okay, I think I can do this, eh," he assured himself, though his voice was cracking. "Just... psyche myself up a little... okay, a lot. Oh man, I doo'nt think anyone could do this-"
"Good bye, cruel world!"
Clive went over the side. He didn't even jump, he just fell over the edge. Ezekiel screamed in fear and jumped after him.
The two boys plummeted, two different thought processes going on.
"I hope I hit the water. Oh, I really doo'nt want to break every bone in my body, eh. If I die, tell my mom and dad I loved them! Tell Heather I... wait, who's gonna tell them, I'm all alone up here, eh! Oh man, why'd I jump, he already leapt, there was no need to!"
"If I don't miss the ground and hit the water, I hope Ezekiel falls on me and kills me."
About halfway down, Ezekiel hit the side of the raised platform. Pinwheeling out of control, the prairie boy hit the water hard a few seconds after the emo boy. Both boys surfaced gasping for air, but only Clive said, "Oh drat," in disgust; Ezekiel didn't know what he meant by that.
"I cannot believe you both jumped," Chris shouted, laughing. "Though Clive does win, because he jumped first."
Clive rolled his eyes as he teammates cheered, and was slow to pull himself out of the pool. Ezekiel also pulled himself out, and was immediately besieged by Heather.
"What were you thinking?" Heather shouted, pounding on Ezekiel's chest. "He jumped already, you didn't have to."
"Um, I panicked," he admitted. "Soo'ry."
"Don't do that to me, I don't want you in the hospital this entire contest. So don't do it again!"
"Doo'nt jump off a three-thousand foot platform a'geen? I think I can resist that urge, eh."
He hugged his girlfriend, and she slowly came around to returning it. He gave her a kiss on the cheek that some watching thought was romantic. Some of the others weren't thinking romantic thoughts at all though.
(Janitor's Closet - Too far away to watch.)
Gwen - "... What-"
Bridgette - "... does-"
Lindsay - "... he-"
Tyler - "... see-"
Leshawna - "... in-"
Beth - "... her?!"
Harold - "GOSH!"
Clive - "Oh why can't I plummet to my death like any normal person?"
(New School - 4, Old School - 2.)
"All right then ladies," Chris went back to announcing, "we have next our two techno-nerds! Give it up for Cody..."
The audience began to cheer, and most everyone was almost deafened from the high-pitched shrieks of fan girls. Cody turned bright red with an incorrigible grin on his face, especially when he saw Anita pumping her fists and shouting out to him too.
"... and Joel," Chris concluded.
The inventor waved to the crowd, who cheered as well, but there was a lot of booing intertwined in the applause.
"Dude, they shouldn't be booing," Cody said, appalled. "Why are they booing ya?"
"Well, I was the deciding factor in getting you voted off last season," Joel remarked, calm as ever. "It's fine, I accept that."
"I don't man, you're my friend."
"Not for this challenge, you ain't," Chris said. "On this challenge, you two are going to be walking a balance beam over a pool of water."
Cody and Joel immediately thought, "That doesn't sound too bad," but didn't dare say it out loud.
"... On stilts!"
"Yep," they both thought. "Probably would have been best to not even think it."
"And to show you how it's done, we're going to have Chef Hatchet take a break from watching the stare-down to give a demonstration!"
Chef Hatchet, wobble-walking on stilts, started to walk across the balance beam. He got about five steps before he missed, and slammed face first on the balance beam.
"That'll leave a scar," Chris said gleefully. "Okay, Cody and Joel, you two techno-nerds, get on your stilts!"
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Chef.)
Joel - "It doesn't really bother me that people boo me. I know I have my fans hidden away somewhere. I'm more of a 'silent popularity' type of guy, you know?"
Cody - "My friends weren't kidding when they said I had fan girls! Man, you wouldn't know it by my school." \He chuckles.\ "Boy, sure made me want to win that challenge, you know? Didn't wanna let them down."
"Okay, are you two set?" Chris asked the two boys after they were up on their stilts.
"Ready to face plant, sir," Joel replied. Cody, trembling hard, merely nodded.
"All righty then! On your mark, get set... GO!"
Joel and Cody nervously put a stilt leg on the balance beam. Both started at a very slow pace walking on the narrow board, and everyone was holding their breath.
Then Cody stumbled. Pinwheeling his arms and wobbling, he looked ready to fall over.
"No no no no no no no," Anita and Eva began to chant. The fitness buff was clenching her fists and the bombshell was shaking her hands; both looked like they were about to lose it.
Cody screamed as he felt himself go forward. He stumbled across the balance beam, somehow miraculously staying on it as he moved forward. After he reached the other side, he fell down and landed on his chest.
"Well," Joel, not even halfway across the beam yet, said to himself, "that's one way to do it."
"The winner is Cody," Chris announced, though most could not hear him over the loud shrieking of fan girls in the audience. Guys in the audience and the contestants kept their hands over their ears.
Anita and Eva were by Cody's side in a matter of seconds, both trying to help him to his feet and remove the stilts. Neither seemed to be very happy with the other trying to help, and it almost became a push-fight.
"Girls girls," Cody exclaimed when the two began to exchange glares at each other. "Don't worry, I can get them off on my-"
His protest was cut off when he heard Joel cry out. The inventor was trying to walk the rest of the way for the heck of it, and found himself stumbling. One stilt leg fell down on one side of the balance beam, causing the other to fall the other way, and Joel hit the balance beam with his crotch.
"Oh," he whimpered, his voice extremely high-pitched. Every male and even some females viewing winced, hunching up their shoulders. Joel fell down on the balance beam, groaning in pain. "By the master ninja, I think I just lost any chance of having Joel Jr.!"
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Joel.)
Howard - "Yeesh. I know how he feels."
Colin - \nursing a black eye\ "Hehe, it's great to see others in pain, isn't it?"
(New School - 4, Old School - 3.)
Noah and Rodney sat next to each other on the quiz show set. The teenaged bookworm kept glancing at the child, who had to sit on a couple phone books to be the right height for the desk in front of him.
"Okay everyone, let's see who's smarter here," Chris declared, holding up a few note cards. "I'm gonna read off some really hard questions, and the first of you to get five of them right wins! Hit the buzzer if you know the answer!"
Rodney nodded a great many times, his helmet rocking on his head because it was a couple sizes too big. Noah didn't bother nodding, he simply rolled his eyes.
The crowd cheered, then silenced down as the game show music placed. Chris, standing at the host's pedestal, began reading from one of the cards.
"What is the capital of Califor-"
DING!
"Sacramento," Rodney shouted, a hopeful smile on his face.
Chris blinked, then double-checked his card. "Um, right."
Rodney, the New School team, and a good deal of the audience cheered. Noah stared at the child, slack-jawed.
"Next question," Chris declared, bringing Noah and Rodney back to the game. "What is titanium's number on the periodic-"
DING!
"Number 22," exclaimed Rodney.
"Um... right again!"
"Yey," the kid cheered, pumping his fists in the air. Noah was startled again, and he growled under his breath.
"Boy, he's making you look bad, Noah," Chris commented.
This did not strike a good note in the bookworm.
"Okay then, third question! What is the expression used to describe a counter-argument that is basically an insult or personal attack?"
The two were quiet, with Noah rubbing his forehead. "I should know this one," he muttered, "I really should... wait... wait wait wait!"
DING!
"Ad hominem," Noah shouted, both of his hands on the buzzer.
"Correct! Glad to see you got one right, Noah."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Noah smiled at all the cheering for him, especially from Katie. What surprised him, though, was Rodney was earnestly clapping too.
"Why do you look so happy?" he asked the kid, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I think it was great that you knew the answer. Now I know what it means too," the kid said with a laugh.
Before a flabbergasted Noah could reply, Chris continued. "Quit being nice to each other and get to answering the questions! Now, what is the action of removing the pollen-producing tassel from a corn or maize plant and putting it in the ground?"
DING!
"Detasseling?" asked Rodney.
"Correct!"
"Doh," Noah groaned as he pounded his desk. "It was one of those stupid questions that had the answer in it!"
The quiz went on, the questions hard and very random. Noah scored two more points and Rodney one more, leaving the score at 4-3 Rodney. People were biting their nails and their knuckles, holding their breath, rocking on their feet, or making eyes with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
"All right, let's see if you two know this one," Chris said with a sly smirk. "Who won the World Series in '92?"
Silence erupted from both Noah and Rodney. The teenaged brainiac leaned over and whispered, "Is the World Series baseball, football, or soccer?"
"I was thinking it was hockey or lacrosse..."
"NERDS," Chef Hatchet, Tyler, Duncan, Colin, Zachary, Chris, and a lot of the guys in the audience shouted.
"Sport dorks," Noah shouted back. Rodney whimpered and began to fasten his chin strap, expecting a fight to start.
"Moving along, since neither of you know-it-alls know anything about sports," Chris grumbled, "next question! Who is the most handsome game show host ever?"
Noah just stared as Rodney rang his buzzer. "Ummm... you?" the kid asked, pointing at Chris.
"Yes, of course! You win, Rodney!"
The New School team burst out in wild cheers, as did the audience. Noah stared with one of the most disbelieving looks on his face, then banged said face against the desk.
Anita and Sebastian hosted Rodney up, and the little kid cheered wildly. "Hey, Noah," he called out. "You were awesome, I hope we can compete again soon!"
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Noah.)
Noah - "I was just too stunned that Chris would make such an arrogant question that I didn't react. Man, so embarrassing..."
\He clears his throat then scowls at the camera.\ "That Rodney kid sure is smart, though. Little boy, you just got yourself a rival."
(New School - 5, Old School - 3.)
"For this next one, I'm going to need three from each team," Chris said, standing next to what looked like two giant microphones. "Zachary, Sandra, and Valerie, you are on one side. Leshawna, Heather, and Courtney, you're on the other side."
The three girls on Old School were eyeing each other cautiously. None of them trusted the other two, and Leshawna had a strong vendetta against the other two.
"These devices will record what you say into them, and the amount of 'hot air,' as one could put it, that you generate from jabbering will rack up points. I'll let you know when one side has babbled enough to win.
"Guess we're putting what you loudmouths are known best for, eh?" he asked and chuckled. "Okay, I can give you all a few choice topics if you need help-"
He didn't need to, because the six were already angrily shouting, shooting off their mouths.
"You calling me a loudmouth?" Leshawna shouted at the host. "Oh no no no no no! You do not talk about blabbering when you're around, Chris!"
"I so do not fall into that category," Heather snapped. "I only talk when it's necessary!"
"You stereotyping me, white boy?" Zachary growled. "Saying we all talk a lot?"
"That's, like, so typical of you to pick a bunch of girls," Sandra said. "So twenty minutes ago to act, like, like all girls do is, like, talk!"
"I cannot help it if I get a little chatty, I do a lot of speeches and talking with the little people," Valerie argued.
"And don't even get me started on how difficult it is to get Duncan's attention when I try to talk," Courtney exclaimed. "I mean, I have to repeat things over and over for him to get them, because he just won't listen! So excuse me if I happen to go over the top, because people don't listen, and..."
This carried on for some time, and eventually the six drifted off into their own original subjects. Chris saw that a winning team had been chosen, but he couldn't speak over the six angry teens, even with his megaphone. Finally, he had to call on a couple people who could pierce through the talking.
The happy squeals of Katie and Sadie combined were able to finally silence the six blabbermouths. Chris, standing next to the twins, sighed and shouted into his megaphone.
"The contest ended four minutes ago," he declared. "The Old School team wins!"
"Yay," Ezekiel shouted, running over to Heather. "That's my girl!"
He hugged her, then gave her a kiss on the lips. The queen bee froze up for a second, quite aware that everyone would see them kissing. At first, she started to freak, realizing this could ruin her image, but as the kiss deepened, she soon disregarded that.
"Oh, is it okay fur me to kiss you in front of the others?" he asked after he pulled away.
Heather blinked, then smirked at him. "Did I ask you to stop, Zekey?"
Ezekiel grinned, blushing at the implication, and kissed her again.
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Chris. ... Well, actually, no.)
Zachary - \still going on about discrimination\
Sandra - \still going on about gender profiling\
Courtney - \still going on about Duncan and him not listening\
Heather - \blushing slightly\ "Oh, Ezekiel. You're ruining my image, the one thing I used to hold at the highest priority... and for some reason, I don't seem to care right now."
(New School - 5, Old School - 6.)
"Izzy. Mandy."
"Yes?"
"Yes?"
Chris looked at the two girls staring at him anxiously, both of them eyeing the other evilly, as if planning some kind of diabolical pain on the other. The host loved this.
"You two are officially the strangest, most peculiar girls I've ever seen. Therefore, we've got something to match your bizarre life styles." Mandy and Izzy frowned, and the two exchanged infuriated looks. Whatever malice the two had built up against the other, it was now directed at Chris. He had no idea of it now, but he had started something big.
"In this pit right here," Chris Maclean continued, pointing down into said pit, "are a bunch of wild, bloodthirsty animals!"
As if to accent this point, there were roars and snarls and vicious barks. The animals began leaping up, startling all the other contestants. There were hyenas, anacondas, komodo dragons, the carnivore beavers, razorbacks, lions, tigers, bears, and more, oh my!
Several contestants screamed in terror, grabbing each other in fear. Izzy and Mandy didn't seem phased in the least.
"The one who can spend the most time down there wins," Chris said, still grinning sadistically. "Either of you even want to try-"
The two girls let out battle cries and jumped right in. Many people, including Chris and Chef, and especially Owen, cried out in terror; however, in a few seconds, they weren't the only ones.
The animals were panicking, trying desperately to get out of the pit. They whined and yipped, even the animals that didn't normally make those sounds. A mane-less lion managed to jump out and flee, as well as a skinned bear (not Fuzzy Wuzzums), and more animals missing fur and scales.
Once all the animals had escaped, Izzy and Mandy pulled themselves out. Both were wearing an unconscious snake around their shoulders, hyena fur on their hands and feet, and a carnivore beaver fur coat each. With Katie and Sadie gusto, the crazy girl and cultist squealed in joy and hugged.
"Um, wow," Chris said. "You two really made a mess out of those animals."
"You're, like, my best friend now," Mandy cheered, hugging Izzy tight.
"Yay! With you and Zeke and Owen and my imaginary friends, I has the bestest acquaintances," Izzy gushed.
Chris shook his head; now he really had seen it all. "Well, since there is really no way to judge who won of you two, I guess we have no choice but declare both of you the winners!"
(Janitor's Closet - Poor animals.)
Izzy - "Izzy likes Mandy! She is cool and fun and good with her hands, you should have seen her handle those razorbacks!"
Mandy - "Izzy's an awesome gal. I'll have to remember asking the Old Gods to spare her when they rise up."
Groucho the Duck - \quacking with English subtitles\ "Boy, I'm glad I didn't sign up to assist in that challenge."
(New School - 6, Old School - 7.)
Tyler and Daisy were standing on top of raised foam platforms, one that made it hard to balance on. Both were holding foam joust sticks, and eyeing the other.
"Okay, you two athletes," Chris said. "You two should know how to do foam jousting! Just knock the other off, and-"
He had to stop, because Tyler had fallen off. The host waited for the athlete to try and get back up, but he fell off a couple times.
"Tyler, will you get serious?" Courtney shouted.
"I am serious," he snapped back at her.
"You're falling down more than a drunk at the bar," Duncan groaned. "She's going to own you."
"You're getting owned, jock," Noah exclaimed.
Sakaki swallowed and looked over at Sebastian. "Um," she stammered, "sh-shouldn't we be the ones taunting him?"
"No, they're doing a good enough job at reverse psychology," he replied. "At least, that's what I'm hoping they're doing."
Tyler finally managed to stand onto the foam platform, and now both teams were chanting taunts at him. The audience was also jeering, and the athlete looked rather disheartened. Daisy was watching, and started to feel bad for him.
"Okay, this'll be a short fight," Chris groaned. "Just go, and Daisy, please make it quick."
Daisy scowled, and swung at Tyler. The jock barely managed to dodge it, and almost fell off in the process.
"Just fall," Eva exclaimed.
Then Daisy did something she never thought she would do. She waited until Tyler swiped at her, hitting her lightly; however, she reacted like if it was a strong blow, pinwheeled her arms, and fell off her platform.
Chris blanched. "Tyler won?"
"He won?!" Duncan blurted out.
"I won?!" Tyler, the most astonished of them all, exclaimed. "I actually did it?"
A wild grin spread across his face as he pumped his fists in the air. This caused him to fall down, but he didn't care, especially when a very happy Lindsay climbed into the foam rink to hug him in celebration.
As Daisy pulled herself out, she noticed Yoshi was scowling at her. "What is it?" she asked.
"Don't think I didn't notice what you did there," he said, crossing his arms. "You really shouldn't have thrown it."
"I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, his own team was putting him down," she admitted. "Always did have a little crush on Tyler, but...
"Guess it's time to move on," she added when she saw that Lindsay and Tyler were making out now.
Yoshi groaned. "Biggest competition you've probably ever been in, and you threw your first challenge. Why?"
"Some things are cooler than victory, sugar babe," she said with a wink before walking away. Yoshi stared at her, now stunned.
" 'Sugar babe'?" he repeated.
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Yoshi.)
Yoshi - "Daisy's a strange girl, to say the least. All enthusiasm, then she throws a challenge for a boy that's taken. How does that mind work?
Daisy - \chuckles\ "Oh, that Yoshi. He should know now how unpredictable we girls are."
Chris Maclean - "Okay people, we're going to do a little fast-forwarding, because the next few challenges just weren't as interesting. We'll just give you the highlights!"
DJ and Sakaki were competing against each other next. Their challenge was to hold wild animals without freaking out. Both of them did rather well with a tarantula, a leopard, and Mandy's rats. However, when Chris placed a giant snake in both their arms, DJ freaked and ran away; his unfortunate panic was bad for Sakaki, as he had accidentally thrown his snake into her arms.
Katie and Sadie competed against Jasmine and Hannah in a piggyback race through an obstacle course. The one walking was blindfolded, so the rider had to shout instructions. Katie, the rider, was able to give Sadie good instructions. Jasmine, the rider, kept forgetting to give directions because she kept digressing to talk about her acting history. When she started making jokes about Hannah's current "blind faith," Katie and Sadie had long since past the finish line.
Trent and Arthur were to compete in a guitar smashing contest. While Arthur was ready to do some damage, Trent pointblank refused to smash anything. The musician held musical instruments dear to his heart, and to the protest of his team, he refused to win. Though Arthur had won by default, he still smashed a guitar for fun.
Bridgette and Sebastian had to balance on top of a flat disc that rotated around over a pool of water. The two stumbled and slid on the flat surfaces, trying to stay on. Bridgette toppled first, which made Sebastian the winner; however, after he fell in the water, he scrambled out before his dreadlocks frizzed out. When they did a little, several people couldn't help but laugh at the frizzy locks; Bridgette helped to smooth them out.
Geoff and Howard were in a dance contest. Both were quite good at busting a move, breaking down, boogying out, and whatever it is you kids call it today. In the end, the judge (Chris, of course) declared Geoff the winner.
Howard's wail of defeat distracted Belinda, who was still in a stare-down with Gwen. The blond clairvoyant burst out in a fit of giggles, closing her eyes, and this left Gwen the winner of the staring contest.
(New School - 9, Old School - 12.)
"My, those were some exciting challenges, eh folks?" Chris declared. "Wish you were here to see it all."
"We have been seeing it all," Noah said.
"Yeah, who are you talking about?" Owen asked, looking around and hoping to find these people Chris was addressing.
"Never you mind," Chris said. "Now, we have Beth and Crystal competing next. Girls?"
The two stepped forward. Beth nervously adjusted her ponytail, and Crystal straightened out her cravat.
"You two are very open, warm, and nice people," Chris said. "Sweet and all, and now it's time to see just how friendly you are. Because you two are going to have to hug the person you like the least here!"
Beth's eyes widened, and she immediately looked over at Heather. The queen bee shuddered, then looked nervously at Ezekiel.
"Do I have to do this?" she muttered, then she thought of something. "Hey Chris," she called out to the host, "Crystal just got here! She cannot possibly have any enemies..."
Heather stopped talking when she saw that Crystal was staring at Colin, nervously wiggling her fingers. The romantic looked like she'd rather hug a cactus than him at the moment.
"Beth, you are to hug Heather, Crystal, you are to hug Colin. And you two couples must continue to hug each other, as the first couple to part loses! Now hug!"
Beth groaned, stopped over to Heather, and wrapped her arms around the queen bee. Heather sighed in disgust, and brought herself to hug her back.
"Just be nice, eh," Ezekiel said to his girlfriend, looking between her and Beth. "It's just a contest right now."
"How are the other two doing?" Beth grumbled.
"Colin has this sadistic grin on his face, he's really enjoying it," Heather observed. "You know, I really don't like that guy."
"Finally, something we agree on."
Chef Hatchet watched the four hug, and he sighed in frustration. "Hey Chris man," he grumbled to the host, "don't you think this could go on, for, like, forever or something?"
"Naw man, they're teenagers," Chris said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "They cannot stand doing this, so give it a couple more minutes and-"
An indignant cry interrupted the host. He looked around to see Crystal shoving Colin away, her hands protectively over her left breast.
"He... he was touching me there," she shouted, her face wrapped up in horror and fury.
Colin cackled, wiggling his fingers suggestively at Crystal. "What's the matter, babe? Can't take a little-"
He stopped when Xander grabbed him by his shirt collar, lifting the bully up off his feet. Daisy and Carol were standing right by, cracking their fingers.
"After you're done with him, I want a turn," Daisy growled, Carol nodded and punching her palm.
"Beth wins," Chris declared, clapping his hands.
The farm girl sighed in relief, then let go of Heather. Both of the girls looked fairly calm despite having hugged their least favorite member of the cast.
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Crystal.)
Crystal - \She is shaking her fist at the camera.\ "First that slime ball touches my butt, then my boobs! That does it, I'm not going to help him pair up with anyone! No romance for that creep!"
Xander - "That creep thinks that groping girls is the bad boy way to go. He gives a bad name to bad boys, and I hope something unpleasant happens to him."
Sebastian - "Something tells me that I may have to keep pinching that guy's neck. Be on him more than a vampire. Like some people say, 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, because that way your swinging fists hit your enemies'."
(New School - 9, Old School - 13.)
Belinda brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, this leaves Harold and Carol," she said to her teammates. "Might be interesting to see this one."
"Don't you know who's going to win this, with your foresight," Howard asked her. She simply smiled in reply, and he grinned right back at her.
"So, Howard. So, Carol. You two are the final competitors," Chris said to the final contestants. He didn't get near them, because both were striking all kinds of different battle poses. "And you two are in the right mood for your competition!"
Chef Hatchet approached them, holding a box of foam armor. The two were soon wearing foam gloves, boots, helmet, and breastplate. Harold's was green, and Carol's was yellow.
"Now get into that steel cage," Chris instructed them, "don't worry, we cleaned up all of the blood from the last competition. You two are going under the same rules as the last two, fight until one of you is down for five seconds.
"And since you're wearing foam armor, I expect you two to be wild! Tear each other apart!"
"You," Harold shouted at Carol, grinning wickedly, "will feel the wrath of my awesome ninja skills!"
"No ninja could beat a real street cop," Carol retorted, cracking her neck. "I'm gonna beat you down like an ugly drug dealer trying to hand out his inventory to grade school children!"
"Hey! Ninjas don't deserve to be classified in the same category as those guys."
"Yeah, I guess I went a little overboard."
"Ready?"
"Yeah! Let's go, handsome!"
"Hey wait," Chris exclaimed, "I'm supposed to-"
He didn't get to finish, as Harold and Carol came out swinging. Harold got a punch across her chin, she kicked his shin, he chopped her shoulder, she head butted him in the stomach. The foam armor prevented any serious injuries, but it was still brutal to watch.
"Holy cow," Duncan exclaimed as he watched the fight. "Nerd boy is actually really good at fist fighting!"
"Wow, would you look at Carol go?" Alfred marveled. He grinned wickedly at Colin and said, "You'd better watch your back."
The exchange of foam blows continued, until Carol fell on her back. Harold stood over her, hunched over from the amount of stress and exhaustion. Three seconds when lying down, Carol kicked her foot up and nailed him in the chest. She stood up and knocked him down. Pinning him, she grabbed his wrists as if to handcuff him, holding him in place.
"Okay, it's been five seconds," Chris declared. "Carol, you win, now get off of Harold before you break something."
"She might have already," Harold groaned. "Oh wow... best fight I've ever had."
"Me too," Carol said, wiping saliva away from her mouth. "You ninjas are awesome, glad street scum aren't as trained as you."
As Carol limped out of the steel cage, Leshawna came in to help her boyfriend up. "Hey baby," she said, rubbing his shoulders tenderly. "Don't worry, you're still the best fighter I've ever seen. She's just spas-tastic."
"I should learn how to be that too," he said, coughing and then grinning. "You gonna nurse me back to health, my chocolate goddess?"
"Love to, hon, but I think I may be busy mopping up the rest of the newbies."
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Harold.)
Eva - "Watching Harold, he's actually quite impressive. Very quick, can take a few hits, doesn't mind wrestling it with a girl. Hehe, I could see me dating a guy like that."
\She blinks.\ "Wait, did I just say that out loud? Damn it! What the hell's wrong with me? Ever since this contest has started, I've been blushing and staring at boys and talking about them fondly... ugh! I feel feminine, yuck yuck yuck!"
Carol - \holding an ice pack to the side of her head\ "Woo, that Harold boy picks a mean fight! Leshawna's lucky, ain't she?"
Jasmine - "Ugh. Harold and Leshawna, I just don't like it. You know when your friend dates someone you don't approve of? Well, that's what I feel now, and I swear, by the moon and stars above, if there is hope, if there is a chance...
\She goes like this for quite a while, not really getting to the point any time soon.\
(New School - 10, Old School - 13.)
"So we have ten new schoolers and thirteen old schoolers making it to the next round, huh?" Chris said with a laugh. "Boy, the rookies are getting owned!"
"Are not," Mandy shouted. "We are such separating the weak from the strong, and that leads us to where we are now!"
Along with Mandy were Alfred, Carol, Rodney, Sebastian, Anita, Xander, Sakaki, Arthur, and Clive. The ten looked at each other, trying to size each other up; though to be honest, Xander and Arthur were looking at Anita for other reasons.
"I think we can do well if we concentrate all our efforts," Rodney suggested. "After all, we are the underdogs now."
"Yeah, the kid's right," Carol declared, slapping the boy's helmet and rattling his brain a little. "We're the dogs now, the K9 squad! Shall we rip them to shreds?"
"That's a little too far," Sakaki whimpered.
"Not from my hood, it ain't!"
Carol gave Sakaki a bear hug, and the moe girl cringed from the massive amount of attention. The Old School team watched this from afar.
"Please tell me how those weirdos managed to get into this show," Heather grumbled.
Heather stood with Tyler, Sadie, Katie, Geoff, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Eva, Beth, Izzy, Cody, and Duncan. Only the queen bee seemed to be regarding the new people with such disregard, so most of them scowled at her.
"You're so much nicer when Zeke's around," Leshawna snapped at her. "Now I wish prairie boy was here, you'd be much more tolerable."
"Ezekiel doesn't control me!"
"Control shamole, I'm talking about manners, girl!"
Before a classic argument between Heather and Leshawna could ensue, Chris was back. "Okay people, if all the winners would head over to our battlefield here..."
He led them to a oval-shaped arena, which had a smooth stone floor and sandbag walls stacked up inside. On both sides were large water guns, enough to supply a small squadron.
"In this part of the challenge, the two teams are going to arm yourselves with our water blasters, which today," Chris said as he proudly held up one of the water guns, "are filled with disappearing ink! The ink dries up and vanishes after about twenty minutes, so we are going to have you two teams shoot at each other for ten minutes!"
"And the point of all this is?" Courtney asked.
"Simply that the three members of your team that have the least amount of ink on them are going to move on to the final round!"
The two teams took this into consideration as they headed over to their side of the small area. Most inspected their weapons, noting the barrels of ink nearby for refills.
"I don't know about you guys," Beth said to her teammates, "but I don't think I really want to be part of the final three."
"Why not, girlfriend?" Leshawna asked her.
"Well, a lot of the new contestants are really tough, and I'm sure I won't stand up to them in physical contests."
"Then we need you to be a rusher," Duncan said, patting her shoulder.
"What's that?"
"That's when you go barreling towards the enemy, taking all of their shots in stride, and blast them in the face as much as you can," the punk explained to her. "It's kamikaze, but it really gets the job done."
"You sure that's a good idea?" Gwen asked him.
"Trust me, if I don't miss my guess, I'd predict they have three kamikaze people on their team."
"But the Japanese guy didn't win," Sadie pointed out.
They stared at her for a few seconds, and she turned bright red. "Oh, that was inappropriate, wasn't it?"
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Sadie.)
Katie & Sadie \both covered in ink\ - Katie - "I actually found that to be a little funny, but I couldn't really laugh out loud in front of the others."
Sadie - "Couldn't you have anyway, in case more people were holding in laughter?"
Katie - "I'm pretty sure none of them were, Sadie."
Sadie - "Phooey."
Geoff - \also soaked in ink\ "Japanese kamikaze kid!" \He bursts out laughing.\
"Are the two squads ready?" Chris asked, holding up an ink-stained flag.
"Ready," Duncan shouted back.
"Ready," Arthur called out.
"Then... GO!!"
What happened next was hard for the naked eye to follow. Beth and Izzy, the kamikaze troops for Old School, came rushing forward, screaming. From New School came Alfred, also screaming, though no one on the New School team had suggested any type of ballistic tactics.
Izzy and Beth opened fire on Alfred, as he leapt onto a sandbag barricade. He leapt through the air, somersaulting over them. When he landed, he pointed his weapon behind him and shot Izzy square in the back.
Both girls turned around and blasted him with ink, soaking him. As he fought back, Carol watched with wide eyes.
"Holy crap, they planned to bolt?" she asked aloud, then growled. "No one out-tactics our team! C'mon, let's go!"
She grabbed the wrist of her nearest teammate, which happened to be a very scared Sakaki, and bolted into the battlefield, screaming out a war cry.
Pretty soon, both sides were on the battlefield, shooting inky water and dodges shots. Izzy and Mandy found themselves in a friendly face-off, and continuously blasted each other. Rodney was hiding behind a sandbag barricade, praying he'd survive this. Arthur was desperately trying to score a shot on Leshawna, but the big girl was quicker than she looked.
"Hi, Cody," Anita called out to her crush guy. "You're doing great!"
She ducked behind a sand barricade just in time, almost shot by a furious Eva. Cody blushed a little, and decided to return the favor.
"You're doing awesome too," Cody shouted back as he stood up behind a sand barricade. He wasn't as fast on his feet, and a blast of inky water from Sebastian knocked him off his face.
"Quit being distracted by pretty girls and fight, man," Duncan shouted at Cody, helping him back up.
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Cody.)
Duncan - \soaked with ink\ "Cody really needs to get his head in the game. Just because he's got a fan girl waving at him doesn't mean he can't keep his eye on the birdie! Although..."
\He grins wickedly and chuckles.\ "That Anita chick is really hot, but don't tell Courtney I said that."
Sakaki - \soaked in ink and trembling\ "I... I don't think I like Carol that much..."
Alfred - \soaked in ink\ "Most fun I ever had in a long time! I love this show! WOOHOO!"
Valerie - "I'm glad I wasn't in that competition. It looked awful."
"Okay, Chef Hatchet and I did an evaluation of the lot of you," Chris said after ten minutes had elapsed and the water gun competition was done. "Some of you were rather easy to tell, some of you a little close."
"From Old School, we have Leshawna, Gwen, and, surprisingly enough, Tyler," the host said, pointing at the three.
Arthur fumed as he stared at the proud Leshawna, furious with himself for not being able to score a hit on her. Tyler was beaming and thumping his chest, but he really should have known the only reason he had such little ink is because he kept falling over right before someone shot him.
"How do you know weird goth girl wasn't splashed with ink?" Heather protested. "All she wears is black, you can't tell."
"Because I'm not wet, weird popular girl," Gwen retorted, rolling her eyes.
"As awesome as your fights are, I need to carry on this contest," Chris interrupted them. "Now, on the New School team, our three winners are Xander, Anita, and Rodney!"
While there was a lot of cheering, some were startled and looked at the child. "How did Rodney manage to win that contest?" Sandra asked. "All he did was, like, hide."
"That's how he got no ink on him, genius," Carol snapped at her.
"If you all will keep your arguments to a minimum, I'd like the six winners to follow me over here," Chris said through his megaphone.
He led them to a large pool of water that had a narrow board balanced high above it. This metal board was a lot wider than the balance beams used beforehand, wide enough for someone to stand on both feet in a comfortable stance.
"Your job is going to be simple, considering it to be the last part of our first TDB challenge," Chris carried on. "The six of you are going up there, and then the two teams of three are going to try and push the other team down into the water."
"That's it?" Leshawna asked, looking at the three members of New School. "This is gonna be over before it even starts."
"Yeah, don't count on it, sister," Xander retorted, grinning wickedly at her. "I've been in bar brawls with people who are much tougher than you."
"But those people would have had a few, right?" Gwen asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.
"Ah touché, my lady goth."
"I'm going to die, aren't I?" Rodney whimpered, hugging Anita around the waist. "Mom always told me never go up high because it's always possible to fall down and break your head open. I'm going to fricking die now; oh, don't tell my mom I said that, please!"
"Don't worry, honey," Anita said, patting his back. "There's a pool of water underneath us, we'll be safe."
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Rodney.)
Arthur - "Oh please, oh please, let Anita fall in the water. Her completely soaked..." \he grins, then suddenly snaps out of it\ "Whoa, man. I'm usually not this perverted. This confessional really makes say things you don't normally say, doesn't it?"
Owen - "I like to eat nachos with Jell-O."
Justin - "Ever wonder where socks go when they disappear in the drier?"
DJ - "Sometimes I want to hold an assault rifle, just to see what holding one feels like, you know?"
Belinda - "Well, our team has lost this challenge, sad to say."
DJ - "... Ha! I was kidding!"
"Okay, are you all set up there?" Chris called up to the six on the metal walkway.
Tyler stood in front of the two girls of his team, wiggling his fingers anxiously. Leshawna and Gwen exchanged a fist bump as they psyched themselves up. Xander stood strong, grinning and cracking his fingers. Anita was trying to calm Rodney, who was still clinging to her and whimpering pathetically.
"We're ready," Xander shouted down.
"Then, for the final part of the first challenge of Total Drama Battlegrounds," Chris exclaimed, "CHARGE!"
Tyler did indeed charge, roaring out a battle cry as he ran towards to the opposing team. Then he tripped over his own feet, hit his chin on the walkway, and fell over the side.
The Old School team all winced as Tyler splashed. Several face palmed, and most groaned. Lindsay sighed and said, "He got a little too excited, poor Ty."
Tyler surfaced, splashing and a little blue in the face. "Th-th-the," he stammered, teeth chattering hard, "the water's fricking cold!"
Above, Xander chuckled and started for the two girls of the Old School team. Gwen stood in his way first. "You're going down," he said.
"Sorry, biker boy, but I think you're taking the next dip."
The two grappled, Xander almost overpowering her; however, the goth girl acted fast. She swept her leg and hooked his, knocking him off-balance. Using momentum, she was able to shove him over the side.
Xander hit the water, then surfaced with a hacking cough. "Oh man, that's one tough chick," he said, then ground his teeth. "Damn it, you weren't lying, Tyler! The water's freezing!!"
"I know, right?" the jock said as he helped pull Xander out of the water.
Above, Rodney was standing in front next, looking up at Gwen with huge, frightened eyes. The goth girl smiled down at him, and patted his helm."
"Am I gonna die now?" he asked, trembling.
"No, you're not gonna die now, just get wet and cold."
She picked up the kid and tossed him over the side. Rodney hit the water, and came up thrashing. "Oh wow," he exclaimed, "this is as cold as the pool at school! They never heat that thing up either!"
Gwen chuckled when she heard the prodigy child's comment. She started to look back up and as she said, "Okay, only one more left, ri-"
The goth girl was cut off when Anita grabbed her around the shoulders, lifting her off her feet. Gwen thrashed, but she wasn't able to overpower Anita, and the New School girl tossed her over the side.
"Now then," Anita shouted, turning towards Leshawna as Gwen hit the water, "it's just you and me, Leshawna!"
"You think you stand a chance against me?" the sister asked, grinning at her.
Anita cracked her knuckles, returning the grin. "Oh I do," she replied. "I don't back down from any challenge, Leshawna."
"I like your spirit, white girl. But when it comes to a grappling contest, me and my bootylicious body have got the cushion for the pushin'."
"Oh I know that," Anita said, throwing her hair back, "but I'm the best at wrestling in gym, and I've thrown down sisters bigger than you. Still, I'm sure you're going to be my hardest challenge."
With that, the two girls charged. First they rammed each other, but it wasn't enough to knock either back. Anita was able to hold back Leshawna, but she wasn't winning the grappling by strength. The two pulled, pushed, swept at the legs, pounced, and tackled, but neither was giving an inch.
"Wow, look at her go," Rodney exclaimed, watching Anita. "She's awesome, isn't she?"
"Yeah," Cody said, an incorrigible grin on his face. Eva heard this and was so resentful that she couldn't be up there fighting, that she had to push someone over; Harold was that unfortunate someone, and it really startled him.
"C'mon, Leshawna, I know you can do this," Gwen shouted.
"You can take her 'oot," Ezekiel cheered. "Take her 'oot, eh, take her 'oot!"
"Um, Zekey," Heather nudged Ezekiel, "you sound like you want Leshawna to ask Anita on a date."
"But doesn't it mean it differently during," he started to say, then sighed. "All right then. Hey Leshawna, take her down, eh!"
Anita and Leshawna were standing a small distance from each other, panting hard. The large sister growled when she caught her breath and rushed forward, shoving Anita hard. She was sent sprawling back, lost her footing, and went over the edge. Luckily, she managed to grab the side with both hands, dangling from there.
"Oh, that's it for Anita," Chris declared. "No way can she pull herself up from there!"
But he was wrong. Anita strained hard and lifted herself, managing to get her elbows onto the walkway. She managed to pull herself halfway up when Leshawna stood in front of her, putting a foot on her shoulder to stop her progress.
"Damn, girl," she said, "you got some crazy upper body strength to pull yourself up like that!"
"Well," Anita said, smiling despite the pressure and sweat dripping down her forehead, "when you're an early developer like me, you get some upper body strength so that your girls don't snap your spine."
"I hear that. But I'm afraid I cannot let you back up here. Sorry, but you're gonna have to take a swim."
"YAY!"
Leshawna and Anita were both surprised to hear the cheers, because they didn't seem to be from Leshawna's team. It was actually from some of the boys, including Colin and Howard and Duncan, all of them leering at Anita.
"Oh God," Anita groaned, face palming. "Cold water and in this stupid top, I'm gonna look like a real trollop. Wish I had my jacket."
"Well, why'd you wear that skinny top if you didn't want the attention, girl?"
"Wasn't my choice, the producers said I had to if I was to be in the show." Leshawna considered this, then looked down at Chris. "Hey Maclean! Is it possible for her to just surrender so that I don't have to dunk her in the water?"
"Um, well," Chris pondered this, trying to ignore the protesting boys, "sure, if it's okay with both of you."
"That okay with you, sugar?" Leshawna asked Anita.
"Yeah yeah, just please get me up before one of the cameras looks up my skirt!"
Leshawna chuckled and helped pull Anita up. The bombshell sighed in relief, and then gave her a big hug. "You're a beautiful person, Leshawna. A beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful person."
"Aw, you flatter me."
Chris chuckled as he watched the two girls hug, and then held up his megaphone. "I guess this means that the winners for the first challenge are... THE OLD SCHOOL KIDS!"
The audience went absolutely wild, cheering and clapping. The Old School team also broke out in celebration and embraced each other. Couples kissed, friends high-fived, even those that didn't get along well were celebrating together.
Yoshi sighed, then shrugged. "Guess it couldn't be helped."
"Maybe it's a good sign," Sebastian suggested. When the warrior looked him strangely, he continued, "Some people who love to compete don't like a good start because their luck runs out at the end."
"Oh, I never believed in that certain amount of luck theory."
Chef Hatchet was fuming next to the ladder that led up to the metal walkway. "Damn it all," he exclaimed, "now I owe Chris fifty bucks!" He angrily kicked the support beam.
This caused a rather hard tremor up to the metal walkway. It knocked both Leshawna and Anita off, and the two girls screamed as they plummeted into the water.
"Damn it," Leshawna exclaimed as she surfaced. "This water is freaking cold!" Her hair fluffed up into a giant afro, and she sighed. "And another reason I hate the water."
Anita helped pull the distraught Leshawna to the side, and was about to pull herself up when she saw several guys leering at her. She sighed, and contemplated staying in the water.
Colin, who was openly looking down her top, was chuckling wickedly when he was violently shoved into the pool. Cody stood there, looking proud and scared to death at the same time. He was holding a couple towels in his hand.
"Hey ladies," he said, wiggling his eyebrows as foxy-like as he could. "I brought towels!"
"You are my savior, short stuff," Leshawna said as she pulled herself out and wrapped the towel around herself.
Anita was blushing furiously as she pulled herself out, her eyes on Cody the entire time. Cody's eyes were trying desperately not to wander, but he couldn't help but look at her chest; her nipples were hardened and poking through her top. Blood spurted out of Cody's nose, and he desperately tried to hide it: using the other towel, and he only noticed this mistake after he wiped the blood from his face.
(Janitor's Closet - Poor Cody. Again.)
Anita - \still soaking wet and no towel\ "Well, what an embarrassing ending to the first challenge. I'll be lucky if I'm not voted off first after that major upset. And I never really got to meet Cody..."
Trent - "Leshawna did pretty good, didn't she? Poor Gwen felt a little down over her loss, but she cheered up after she dried off."
Rodney & Hannah - \Hannah tilts the camera down to the child genius.\ Rodney - "I... I feel really bad about losing that last part. I guess if it's not an intelligence contest, I'm not gonna be much help."
Hannah - \leaning into the shot\ "No hon, you cannot doubt yourself so soon. You can be an excellent help, just have faith."
Rodney - \brightening up\ "O... okay! I will!"
Ezekiel - "Winning the first challenge gives me a major confidence boost, considering I lost my first contest, eh. But hey, I made it all the way to the finals in TDC, I have faith that I can go all the way a'geen, eh! Um, woot, and all that!"
"You all did awesome jobs," Chris Maclean said to the contestants as he counted out the fresh bills he had in his hand, "even the ones of you that sucked big-time, you all rocked!"
"Whatever," Valerie grumbled, very upset. She hated losing more than anything, and losing the first challenge was always a moral-destroying moment for her. "So what, is there a back-up challenge or something?"
"Maybe we just vote out of the twenty-two of us?" Daisy asked.
Some exchanges were made. Crystal and Alfred were glaring at Colin, Zachary and Yoshi were staring each other down, and Sandra was giving Anita the stink eye.
"Actually, we aren't going to have the voting just yet," Chris said. "See, let me explain something real quick. First off, the winner team are getting their reward in the cafeteria! And the reward is... cake and pie!"
Major cheers from the Old School team, especially Harold. "The cake is not a lie," he shouted, and then added, "And pie! I like pie, it's awesome!"
"Now those picked out of the losers are also going to be joining the winners in pie and cake," the host said. "The losing losers will have to be punished before they vote among each other."
"So how do we decide who gets immunity of the losers?" Hannah asked.
Chris grinned. "Anita! Please step forward." Still dripping wet, with her arms crossed over her chest, Anita was startled as forty-three pairs of eyes swept over towards her. She walked up to Chris and muttered, "Whatever it is, could I get a towel or something first?"
--
--
--
What does Anita have to do with immunity out of the losers?
Who is going to be the first voted off among the new contestants?
And whoever it is, are you all gonna complain?
--
Next Up: The first voting ceremony, and the first voted off!