"Where on EARTH is that big idiot?"
She had meant that in the literal sense.
Kaname Chidori, Class Representative for Year 2 Class 4, waited outside the train station. The day had started off badly. For once, she did not wake up in time. And for the extra fifteen minutes of shut eye, she had to sacrifice her morning shower.
Her eyebrows twitched.
She LOVED her morning showers.
It was the one thing that justified her reason for waking up so early in the morning.
She checked her watch. It was already 8:20. She was on track to receiving her first tardy. She sighed dramatically. 'So long, future. Tokyo University, good bye.' Her mind skipped from the prestigious university to a certain Mithril operative. A vein popped up in her temple.
"S-S-Sousuke…" she growled, gritting her teeth. The blue-haired girl was so beside herself in anger that she didn't notice the object of her frustration approaching her from behind.
"Good morning, Kaname."
She turned abruptly, her hair traveling in midair like a whip. Reaching into her bag, her hand was firmly gripping the halisen. As she raised her arm and readied herself to deliver a punishing blow to the brunette teen's head, she noticed something different about Sousuke. Besides the crowd of girls that had gathered behind him, Kaname noticed certain physical changes as well. For one, he didn't smell like oil and gunpowder. And that he was actually attempting to look amiable instead of the usual emotionless façade.
'Something's different about his look…' Kaname thought, studying her bodyguard in wonder.
Sousuke had pulled back his hair into a short ponytail and donned a very fashionable pair of light blue shades.
In all, he did not look like the grumpy, serious, almost robot-like person she had grown to accept. Even she couldn't deny that Sousuke looked nice, presentable even.
'But it's not Sousuke…'Her softer side thought sadly.
'Who the hell cares?' That was, of course, her aggressive side. It was the same one that was hell bent on world domination. Well, at least the high school student council.
Sousuke noticed that the blue-haired Whispered was unusually quiet today. He bowed over slightly to establish eye contact with her.
"Kaname, did you hear what I said?"
She snapped out of her daze. She had not heard a word he said.
"Huh?" Was her smart reply.
Sousuke frowned.
'Miss Chidori is never this dull. Something must be up.'
"Are you sick?" He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. "You do not appear to have a fever. Maybe a slight concussion? Kaname, did you injure yourself in any way yesterday?"
'Still the same clueless idiot…' Kaname thought, balling her hands into a fist. She waited for him to give her an indirect insult, like he usually did. Something along the lines of 'Miss Chidori, you shouldn't stay up late. It's not good for your complexion' or 'Did you have a late night snack? I HAVE noticed that you put on more weight recently.'
Sousuke stopped. In his mind he reverted back to Kurtz's training.
How many times had he been struck down by the person he was concerned about? Honestly, he had lost count, but it was a fact that his good intentions had done HIM more wrong than right in the past. In most cases, Kaname was involved.
Shaking his head, Sousuke stood upright again. 'Miss Chidori is a strong and able person. She is capable of caring for herself.'
"Let's go, Kaname. School's already started."
He trotted on in a slow gait, fighting back the urge to turn back to Kaname. He thought back to what Kurtz had said.
'Sousuke, my boy. Women are a complicated bunch. Contrary to what most men believe, the art of seduction does not encompass the basic aspects o f friendshipThe two are as different as night and day. Women want romance, not affection. Attention, but not compassion. Many men have fallen victim to this misconception and landed into the dreaded friend-zone. And don't let the name fool you; it is the worst case scenario if you are really interested in the person. Imagine this: You are piloting a UH-60A Black Hawk assault/carrier craft carrying support troops. Your mission is simply to retrieve your fallen comrades on the ground. As you are about to arrive at the LZ, you notice several opposition on the ground equipped with the RBS 70 anti-aircraft missile.Being the brave and loyal soldier that you are, you will probably try to touch down at the compromised LZ and carry out your mission. But in doing so, you seal your fate and those of your fellow soldiers. The LZ is the Friend Zone.'
'The moral of the story: STAY AWAY FROM THE FRIEND ZONE.'
Sousuke nodded. As a veteran soldier, he knew better than to exacerbate an already compromised mission. It would be better to lose ten soldiers in a battle than twenty by haphazardly trying to save the original ten. Sacrifices were made on the field in every mission. Success is determined by the amount of soldiers that survive the mission. The objective, while significant, could be reached another time.
The concept was easy enough to understand.
But could he leave Kaname behind?
Despite the fact that her life was in no danger, Sousuke found that reality hard to digest.
---
Kaname sat at her desk, dozing off into her own world. The teacher's words were lost in the brain's processing center. Instead, she replayed this morning's events in her mind. Sousuke had shown up dressed surprisingly normal, had attracted a huge crowd of young adoring middle school girls, and for once didn't come to a dumb conclusion about something otaku and refrained from threatening anyone within five feet of her. Yes, things were really different today.
'Just what is going on in that idiot's mind right now?'
She turned around to give Sousuke her notes on Classical Japanese History.
"Here, Sous – "
She froze as she noticed her classmate Maya sitting ridiculously close to her bodyguard.
'Since when did the school adopt the desk pairing scheme?'
"So what did you say to the barmaid?" Maya asked, tittering like, well, a high school girl. She looked on with interest.
"I asked her if she was a dirty girl. And she replied by giving me her number," said Sousuke, twirling a pencil in his right hand.
The surrounding crowd of girls began whispering among themselves. Kaname could not hear the exact conversation but heard the phrase "Such boldness!" was popular amongst some of the girls. She growled.
"Sousuke…"
He turned his attention away from Maya, who glared at Kaname.
"Yes, Kaname?"
"Just who was this person in your little story?" She asked sweetly. It took all the willpower she possessed to refrain from beating the young man into a bloody pulp.
Sousuke rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"She worked at the nightclub that I went to yesterday."
Kaname felt a metaphorical fifty kilogram weight drop on her head.
"A n-n-nightclub, Sousuke? Is that right?" She asked through clenched teeth.
"Affirmative. From what I can remember, she seemed very eager and willing to serve me."
Another weight appeared out of thin air. A camera flash went off in the background.
"R-Really now, Sousuke…"
A vein throbbed slowly in her temple. She inhaled deeply. There was a reasonable explanation for the young man's answer. That, or he must have misinterpreted her original question. Either way, she would give him the benefit of the doubt.
For once.
She was a merciful ruler.
"Um…affirmative, again."
"And what did this woman do afterwards?" Her inquiry was delivered poorly, but that did not matter at this moment. Her hand had already found its way into her book bag.
"She gave me her number and asked me out on Thursday ni –"
His voice trailed off as he noticed Miss Kagurazaki walking in his direction with a stack of papers. Unfortunately, Kaname had her back turned away from the front.
His response was simple enough. There was no room left for misinterpretation. Execution would commence as scheduled.
The halisen materialized out of thin air.
Growling, Kaname swung her striking arm back with a force greater than momentum could provide. A loud 'thud!' followed before she could swing down on Sousuke's head.
A hail of paper rained down on the classroom. The teacher fell backwards from the unintentional strike. A large red mark in the shape of a rectangle had formed before she hit the floor.
Kaname turned her head slowly. Her worst fears had been realized.
The entire class let out a collective gasp.
Mrs. Kagurazaki regained herself. Wincing in pain, she glared at the culprits and pointed at the door.
"Principal's office, NOW!"
While she was a relatively young teacher, she spoke with such authority that her age was completely forgotten.
The two got up from their seats and trotted out the classroom.
'Sousuke… you really ARE the master at making things worse! First a tardy, now aggravated assault on a teacher?'
She hung her head dejectedly. Tokyo U was DEFINITELY out of the question now.
'God…Why me?'
---
Principle Takako Tsuboi leaned back against her plush office chair, content.
Today was one of the smoothest and most uneventful days since Sousuke Sagara of Class 2-4 transferred to her school. No blown-up lockers, no damage reports, no injuries incurred by the most improbable of scenarios.
It was a good day. The old educator could feel it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of the intercom.
"Principal Tsuboi, Sousuke Sagara and Kaname Chidori of Class 2-4 are here to see you," said her secretary.
Speak of the devil…
The elderly woman sighed.
"Show them in."
The door opened and two teenagers walked in. Sousuke came in first, followed by the blue-haired Class Representative. They immediately took their seats. By now, it was already routine.
Tsuboi folded her hands.
"So what seems to be the problem this time?" She sounded slightly amused. After the last incident that caused everyone's clothing to melt right off their bodies, the experienced educator thought she had seen it all. "I am holding both of you to your honor."
Then again, Sousuke Sagara was anything but ordinary. He probably had more shenanigans up his sleeve.
Kaname began to explain the incident, but Sousuke started a second earlier.
"I am to blame for the situation. Class had already begun at 0830 hours, and I was conversing with Miss Shouji. Miss Chidori was simply carrying out her duties as a model student by keeping me on track. It was unfortunate timing that landed us both in trouble, but I will take whatever punishment you see fit the crime."
Kaname felt her heart swell. Once again, Sousuke managed to bring her back from utmost hatred to hopeful in a second.
Sousuke continued.
"But I do believe certain actions must be taken to prevent this event from recurring in the future."
Principal Tsuboi looked on with interest.
"And what might these actions be, Mr. Sagara?"
"The immediate confiscation of Miss Chidori's halisen." Kaname snapped from her thoughts, scowling. "It has proved most disturbing and inefficient in the past. Also, its presence is a threat to myself and to this school."
Kaname felt the imaginary weights on the top of her head again. But this time, they were a hundred kilogram weights.
'Just who does he think he is, lecturing about the safety of the school?When he, Captain Chaos, has already blown up every section of the school.THATIDIOT!!!'
The elderly woman was thinking along the same lines as Kaname. However, the young man had a valid point.
"Very well, Mr. Sagara. Miss Chidori, you are to relinquish the object in question to your teacher when you return to class. Is that understood? I'm sure Mr. Sagara wouldn't mind seeing this order through."
She looked at Sousuke, who nodded crisply.
She noticed that his arm twitched involuntarily, as if he were about to raise his arm but changed his mind in the last second.
"It's not a problem."
The Principal nodded.
"Very well. You may leave now."
---
Kaname exhaled deeply as she and her classmates walked out from the entrance of the high school. Today had been a stressful, not to mention embarrassing, day. After she and the one-man wrecking crew went back to class, she had to give up her weapon of choice in front of everyone. Nearly all of her classmates had broken out in cheers during that transaction.
She growled.
'That IDIOT…I HATE HIM!'
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Sousuke shadowing her. He wore a baseball cap as well as his sunglasses. His disguise had no effect whatsoever.
Angrily, Kaname spun around and faced him.
Sousuke gave her a less than convincing look.
"Kaname? What a co –"
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT! HOW ABOUT ANOTHER EXCUSE FOR ONCE?" Sousuke stood completely rooted to the cement. "I'M WAITING, SOLDIER!"
Slowly, he regained some of his composure.
"Kaname, I live right next to you. I take this route everyday. Why is this fact bothering you?"
"Why is it bothering me?" Kaname's voice was barely a whisper. "First, I had a dull, clueless robot tailing me everywhere I go. But he did try his best for me, even though he was completely oblivious to what I really wanted. And now? You're dressed the part, Sousuke. I give you credit for that much. But the fact remains…you're still as clueless as ever. Why don't you just do yourself a favor and jump off a bridge? If not for yourself, then for me. Please, do me this favor!"
Tears had already begun welling up in her eyes. Her vision blurred, she turned and ran towards her apartment complex.
Her ears were ringing from her own words.
She didn't hear Sousuke calling after her.