Still There For Me
By: KaKaVegeGurl
Author's Note:
Couldn't wait fer more?
If you have not read book 8 then you'll be lost... You have to know the book a bit to read this because a lot of what the characters will go through will still happen, but I'm not going to go out of my way to write all it, so if you haven't read the book... Read it.
Last time, Bobby went to the library in search of Mark and found Saint Dane, he was on the run constantly until he met up with Courtney and Dodger. He was caught and interrogated. Then he escaped and saw Courtney holding a gun to Mark. He tried to stop the murder but instead he scared Courtney and she shot Mark.
You been wondering what'll happen to him? Have a nice steaming cup of yaoi and enjoy! Hobey Ho!
~KaKaVegeGurl
Side Notes:
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
And, oh, darkness I feel like letting go
If all the of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
It's better this way, I say
Having seen this place before
Where everything we say and do
Hurts us all the more
It's just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Sarah McLachlan - Full of Grace
Chapter 3: Words I Couldn't Say
JOURNAL #29
First Earth
I can't tell you how it felt to see Mark lying there on the deck of the ship; bleeding so badly. It was a wound that made Loor's heart being pierced look like a silly joke.
The gun shot rang through my ears and I saw Mark jerk to the side, Courtney dropped the gun and put her hands to her mouth, Dodger grabbed her and held her back from running to him as Mark grabbed near his shoulder in pain.
"Oh."
I ran to him as he fell to the ground, I slid down on the floor by him and pulled him into my arms. I felt the blood on the back of his jacket.
"Mark!" I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks. There was blood everywhere, soaking his tux, I pulled the black coat away from his body and unbuttoned the white shirt to see the wound.
It was bad, it was a complete circle into his chest, blood poured out and I pressed my hands to his left breast to try and stop the flow.
He stared up at me as the blood stained the deck below him and got into his hair, he watched me as if he were in shock.
"B-Bobby..."
"Don't talk, please," I cried, I stared into his eyes as he smiled sadly up at me.
"I-I missed you, B-Bobby," Mark grabbed my face with both of his hands.
My stomach felt as though I had been punched, he wiped at the tears on my cheeks but I felt the heated stick coating where his fingers were. Blood.
Mark couldn't die. I couldn't live if he died. Not Mark. I felt my heart beating against my chest, even at the same time it felt as though it was climbing through my throat.
"Mark," I sobbed out as he stared up at me.
"Di-did I mess ever-everything up again?" Mark gasped at me and frowned. His eyes were sad and tears fell down his cheeks.
I was shocked as I stared at him, I shook my head, "Y-you never mess up, Mark. You didn't mess up this time."
Mark smiled up at me again and then grabbed my hand against his chest, "I'm y-your a-acolyte, right? You-your's...?"
That froze me, I stared down at him, how could he even ask a question like that?
"Yes. You're my Acolyte."
Mark smiled softly at me and ran his blood covered fingers over my lips. He got a far off look in his eyes and he stared up at the darkening sky, "That's all I ev-ever w-wanted."
I felt him shudder and he looked directly into my eyes.
"To be your's, Bobby," Mark squinted as he squeezed my hand, "I-I can't fe-feel my legs."
"Stay still," I told him as he tried to sit up, his words had thrown me back in thought, he wanted to be mine? What was he talking about?
"We'll get help," I set him down and stood, Courtney and Dodger didn't need me to say anything more, they both turned and ran for the lounge. I moved to follow them.
"Don't leave," Mark gasped out and I turned to look at him, "I don't... want you to go. I w-want you to be th-the last thing I-I see."
"Stop talking like that," I growled out as I saw Courtney and Dodger meet with Mister and Mrs. Dimond inside the lounge, "You're not going to die."
"But I am," Mark said softly, his voice was almost a whisper and I moved to him, he grabbed my jacket and pulled me close to him, "I'm g-getting colder. But it's alright, th-this is the way it was m-meant to be, Bobby."
"No it's not!" I felt the tears filling my eyes again as Mark let go of my jacket, his arm fell to his side and his eyes never closed again. They stayed fixed on me until his head fell back, his body no longer having the life in it to hold it up.
"Mark!" I shouted as he went limp in my arms, "Mark!"
I shook him, nothing happened. I felt his wrist for a pulse, nothing. I felt his neck, still nothing. I pulled him close, hugging his body to mine.
Mark was dead.
I rocked us both back and forth just lightly and buried my face in his hair. This wasn't happening, not Mark. I've seen to much of this for it to happen again. Osa, Uncle Press, Kasha, and Loor. I would not see it happen to my best friend, not Mark. He was... Mark. My Mark. He was no part of this war, all he wanted was to help me.
At that moment I wanted nothing more then to have been the one that the bullet had torn through. Mark was innocent, he was the victim.
I felt hands wrapping around me and yanking me from the ground, pulling Mark up as well. I tried to shake them away but they wouldn't let me go.
"Sir, you should let go of the body now," I heard an officer say to me softly.
I growled in anger, "I'm not letting him go, he's still here."
Another officer placed a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes, "Let go, son. We need to take care of the body before the crowd gets any bigger."
"He is not a body!" I shouted at the man, but he grabbed at my hands to try and get Mark free.
"He's not a body! He's not a body! He's Mark!"
"Sir, I'm afraid you don't understand," the officer said as he finally pulled Mark from me.
For a split moment, that would last an eternity, I saw his face. Mark's beautiful baby face. His youth still clear with the roundness of his cheeks and his soft baby hairs. His eyes were wide in fear and sadness, long black eyelashes. His mouth was opened slightly, as though he was going to say something to me. His glasses were halfway down the bridge of his nose and I reached up to push them back. His hair was a mess of curls and drying, sticky, blood. His white, unbuttoned shirt was coated red, as was the skin below.
My mind pulled me back in time to when I was so much younger, when I first met Mark, we couldn't even spell our own names. Of all the times when me and him would meet up at my house to play Street Fighter on my old Super Nintendo, and how he would whoop my butt every time with Bison's slide move. When we would go out and shoot hoops for hours, or go fishing just to get away and hang.
I remembered all of the times he'd wait for me during my basketball practices and we'd take the late bus home. The countless times we snook over to each other's houses in the middle of the night. When I first realized how much I loved, adored, and needed him.
I had gotten him into the whole traveler mess in the first place, he had almost died so many times on Eelong. It was all my fault. Mark and I had been inseparable, I still remember the millions of times I had to pry bullies off of him or steal back his lunch money.
When I saw Mark's face staring at me, something clicked inside. Something deep in me. I grabbed at him but the officer pulled the body out of my reach.
The term 'the body' hit me so hard that I fell to my knees.
The body.
Mark.
I grabbed his tuxedo jacket and held it tight as the officers lifted me to my feet again.
I couldn't save Mark. Not only could I not save him, but I think it was my fault that he even died. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't have frightened Courtney and she wouldn't have pulled the trigger.
It was my fault.
Mark's death was because of me.
Ending Notes:
End of Chapter 3!
Please wait fer more! Comment? Review? Love?
~KaKaVegeGurl