Disclaimer: We still own Harry's pants!

Summery: Duckies? Muggle health classes? Sex switches? Prank wars? SNAPE IN DRAG? What has happened to hogwarts? Rated M for adult humor slah and femslash. Yaoi AND Yuri

A/N: The chater is the same, just a few spelling grammer type things... nothing big, no need to read it again!

Chapter Two: Hermione's a Girl? by Shaelyn

Hermione cried, curled up on Ginny's bed for the fourth night in a week. It was always the same, Ron would make some snide remark, and Hermione would pretend not to care. This time though, was different.

"I mean no one sees her as a girl, more like one of the guys." Ron said, shrugging when Harry and asked him why he didn't ask Hermione out. Harry could tell she really liked him. Too bad they didn't realize that Hermione had heard them.

"Oh Ginny, it's no use, I tried to do something to make myself more noticeable, but my hair wouldn't brush, I have no good clothes, and... and..." Hermione sobbed again, unable to continue. Enough was enough, Ginny couldn't let her best friend lie here and cry.

"Why don't we give you a make over?" Ginny asked and Hermione sniffled a bit.

"Would you really?" Hermione asked with a bit of hope in her voice.

"Sure, and I'm sure we could get some other girls to help." Ginny said. She left for the common room and came back with Lavender, Pavarti, and Pansy.

"Hey hun, Gin said you wanted our help." Lavender said and pulled Hermione into a hug.

"Yeah, she filled us in. We'll help you knock all the guys into a shock." Pansy grinned.

"But how do we do that?" Hermione asked, drying her eyes.

"Well first, we cut your hair." Pavarti said and took out a book. "I know how to do hair spells, so let's see. Perfect!" She pointed to a picture of a girl with medium length hair. It reached her chest and had soft layers. She had a light perm on the tips, so her hair bounced when she moved her head.

"That looks really good!" Ginny said. Hermione had her doubts, though.

"Will I need to straiten it and curl it everyday?" Hermione asked, she was never good with those types of spells, nor could she even hope to do it the muggle way.

"Nope, I'll use a spell so you can keep it like that all the time." Pavarti smiled and read over the spell. "Okay, here we go." Pavarti said and muttered the spell. Now, in front of them stood a goddess. That was the only proper way to describe how Hermione looked. When she looked at herself in the mirror, her jaw dropped.

"I look-" Hermione stared wide-eyed.

"Great."

"Sexy."

"Beautiful."

"Amazing." Hermione breathed. The four other girls hi-fived each other as Hermione looked at her new do from another angle. "I love it!" She squealed and jumped up to hug Pavarti.

"Okay, now for the walk." Ginny said, getting off her bed and standing in front of Hermione. "We need to teach you how to walk with confidence." Ginny said and stared showing her how to strut. She swayed her hips while she walked up and down the small isle in the bedroom. Hermione proved to be a fast learner and walked around the room, but with out the confidence. "Hermione, you need to act like you own the room you are walking in. Like you are the reason everyone is there and you are better than them." Ginny said lifting Hermione's chin with her finger and showing her, again, how to do the walk. All the other girls nodded their encouragement and Hermione gave it another go. Soon she was walking around like she owned the place.

"Good, that will be enough to get their attention, now we should get to bed, so we can get you dressed up tomorrow morning." Pansy said, and the five friends slept in Ginny's room, after making a deal with the 6th year girls. They readily agreed when they found out it was to help Hermione get back at the guys. All the girls saw and knew how unfairly treated their head girl was, by the opposite sex, and it was about time she did something about it.

In the morning, the five girls rose at six in order to have time to get Hermione ready. While she showered, the four other girls picked out her outfit. When they were done, Ginny ran down to get Hermione showed her the outfit. Out on the bed, lay a very short pleated skirt, a black corset top, and a tight fitting pink robe. On the floor was a pair of pink high heals.

Hermione slipped the clothes and shoes on. Ginny handed her a pink crystal flower for her hair. After a touch of blush, eyeliner, lip gloss, and eye shadow, Hermione was done and allowed to look in the mirror.

Hermione gasped at the sight before her. She looked absolutely sexy. Her hair fell perfectly and the robe hugged every curve. "Wow, you think they'll notice me?"

"If they don't, then I don't know what the hell is wrong with them." Pansy said nodding her head to show that she thought they all did a very good job.

"Draco is coming to walk with us." Lavender said.

"Then you can flirt with him to make Ron notice you." Pavarti nodded. A very Slytherin smirk formed on Hermione's lips.

"Let the fun begin."

There was an energetic buzz in the Gryffindor Common. All the girls walked around with an all knowing air. The boys were left to ponder what was going to happen.

"Ready?" Ginny asked. The other girls had left and were waiting for her and Hermione.

"Ready to kick some ass." Hermione grinned.

"I'll go first, then you follow okay?"

"Okay." Hermione nodded.

"5..." Ginny smiled.

"4..." Hermione squeezed her best friends hand.

"3..."

"2..."

"It's now or never, 'Mione"

"1..." The best way to describe the girls decent was as if time stopped. The room seemed to dim and a spot light on Hermione. There were the scattered cat calls, but most of the boys couldn't speak.

Hermione slowly made her way down the stairs. She soaked in the feeling of all the eyes on her. She had power. She was in control. And boy did she love it. Slowly, Hermione strutted over to Draco, who seemed not to be as dazed as the rest of the boys.

"I always new you had it in you." Draco said trying not to grin through his smirk.

"What? To be a girl?" Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"No to be a slut," Draco chuckled.

"I'm no slut, I just know what I want," Hermione crazed her chest over Draco's arm, then turned and strutted over to Ron and continued purring, "and I sure as hell no how to get it."

At that very moment, Ron was more red then an apple, more red then a tomato, more red then a fire truck. His face was so red that you would think it was impossible that all the blood could stay there and still rush to his, uh, southern reigns.

"And it would seem that I got it," Hermione said gliding over to another one of the guys. She was really enjoying herself.

"Um, Harry?"

"Yeah mate?" Harry asked. He could see right through what Hermione was doing. And he found it quite amusing. It also dawned on him that she must have heard them last night. He would have to say sorry later.

"I think Hermione's a girl mate."

"What was that?" Hermione glided back to Ron's side, after giving Dean a full kiss on the lips.

"I said-" But Ron was cut off when a pair of lips touched his neck.

"What did you say?" Hermione slowly took off her robe. The moans in the room drove her to toy with Ron a bit more.

"Oh, Hermione, oh I said I bloody fucking love you." Ron moaned as Hermione trailed kisses up his neck and licked the shell of his ear.

"Took him long enough." Harry sighed, and ushered everyone out of the Common room. "Poor bloke." Harry said as he and Draco turn back for one last look before they left.

"Hermione finally got his attention." Draco chuckled and the two left the common room.

OoOoOoO

"So Ron," Hermione purred and let her hands slid down his body. He didn't respond. "Is everything okay?" At that point Ron seemed to come back to his senses.

"Get off my you slut!" Ron yelled pushing away.

"Why the hell are you calling me a slut? Think about it Ron, just yesterday, you didn't even see me as a girl, now you think I'm a slut!"

"Well you kissed all those other guys!"

"To get you to notice me! And weren't you the one how said you loved me?" Ron stood stunned for the moment.

"I did?" Hermione let out a scream of frustration.

"Yeah, you did. What's your problem? I though you liked me!" Hermione tried her best not to cry. She wouldn't, not in front of Ron. Again, Ron stood with a blank look. "I can't believe you Ronald Bilious Weasley!"

Hermione ran out of the room crying.

OoOoOoO

The rest of Gryffindor house waited outside the portrait of the fat lady. They were surprised to have it banged open by Hermione, alone in tears. All the guys, minus Draco, whom Hermione threw herself into, went to go check on Ron.

"Hermione, what happened?" Draco asked trying to sooth the sobbing Hermione.

"He hic said hic that he hic didn't like hic me."

"He what?" Ginny yelled wide eyed. Before she could wait around to hear Hermione explain what happened, her and a handful of girls ran in to beat the shit out of Ron.

"Sh, hun it's okay. There are plenty of guys out there!" Pansy said, trying to comfort Hermione.

"Yeah, love, what about Blaise?" Draco asked. His best friend had always offered to take Hermione out on a date, if she ever needed to get her mind off Ron.

"No, it's okay." Hermione sighed, drying her tears. About this time, all the Gryffindors filed. out of the common room.

"So, what happened?" Pansy asked Ginny.

"Well, Ron's still in shock. That and he still has no idea what he did to Hermione."

OoOoOoO

"Really, Harry, what did I do?" Ron asked for the tenth time.

"You still don't get it?" Harry asked, getting really pissed off at his dense friend.

"Well, she was coming on to me and all, but she was doing that to everyone."

"No, not really, she was teasing you, trying to get your attention." Harry said trying to be patient with him.

"I don't get it Harry! It still makes no sense!" Harry yelled in frustration, a lot of people seemed to be doing that lately, Ron noticed, and stormed out of the common room.

OoOoOoO

"I still don't get it."