Rule Number III: Don't Judge a Writer Who Decides to Continue a Story 3 Years Later, CUZ IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!

Gintoki opened his eyes and found himself to be a three-dimensional actual person just as he had been for 27 years. He wanted to sleep five minutes more, he was so damn tired from last night. But he saw the clock on the wall and immediately understood that he was late to his job. Also, there were weird noices and a bad smell coming from the living room. God damn it, he was late to take the dog out. He whined while he stood up and walked slowly towards the living room, rubbing his eyes. When he saw what was happening, he cursed his reality. He looked frowning at the giant poop Sadaharu left on the floor. Poop looked back. Plus, he realised the source of the weird noices. Sadaharu, who was an abandoned American Eskimo breed Kagura found left in a trashcan and took home WITHOUT PERMISSION, was experiencing his first heat and was busy with making love with Gintoki's clothes that he probably stole while Gintoki was asleep.

"DAMN DOG GIVE THOSE BACK!" He yelled and ran towards his clothes. He started to pull them with all his strength and Sadaharu gave him a deadly growl. "No, Sadaharu, idiot dog, I haven't done laundry yet, these are my only clothes right now so give them back!" As they were wrestling for his clothes and Gintoki got little scracthes and bites all over, he heard his little sister Kagura's door opened.

"Good morning Gin-chan! What a nice day but I'm late to school so bye-byee." Kagura was smiling happily, totally indifferent to the scene in front of her.

Gintoki, who had two back paws kicking his face on the floor yelled, "NO, WAIT, DAMN BRAT! CLEAN YOUR DOG'S MESS BEFORE YOU GO!"

"No can do." she said, still smiling like it was indeed a nice day, and walked towards the door.

"OIIII! SERIOUSLY DON'T GO! KAGURA-CHAN, pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee…."

"Byeeeeeee, Gin-chan!" she said as she walked out of the door.

"YOU IDIOT I'LL SHOW YOU…" He said behind her back and let go of Sadaharu. He grabbed an old Jump issue and took the poop on the floor with it. He ran to the balcony, he aimed carefully and threw the shit away to Kagura's head. However, Kagura was a clever girl who had expected some kind of danger was coming, and she dodged it professionally. This was how the poop landed on Otose's head, who was both the landlady of their house, and the owner of the candy shop Gintoki was working for.

Kagura's evil laugh was interrupted by an old hag's scream.

"GINTOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…! YOU'LL WORK OVERTIME FOR A MONTH FOR THIS!"

Gintoki's deadpanned face slowly faded into the house, where Sadaharu stopped sexually harassing his clothes at last. Now, he was actually fucking Gintoki's bed and he felt he did not have the energy to get his bed back from him that moment. So, he grabbed his dog-saliva-scented clothes and started getting ready for the already messed up day. He made a vow to make Kagura pay for this.

When he finally arrived at the candy shop, which was called "50 Cent", he was already done with the day. It didn't help when he noticed that his useless crew weren't doing well without him. The crew consisted of 3 idiots and none of them were "normal". As he saw the frustration on the face of the customers, he felt like he was stuck inside a cards game.

Card number 1: Katsura Kotaro (Waiter)

Weaknesses:

Suspiciously obssessed with stuffed penguins

Has an intellect of a penguin

Has relations with illegal groups

Hot wives

Strengths:

Has cute hair.

As Gintoki saw Zura having an argument with a customer who was an old lady, he felt Katsura card was really effective if you want to lose customers.

Customer's Possibility of Buying a Sweet from this shop before Zura: 100%

After Zura: 1%

When Gintoki heard what the issue was, he wanted to shave his hair bald and keep living as a spiritual man in a desolated mountain or something. Zura was trying to convince the old lady to buy penguin shaped doughnuts instead of regular ones and he was insisting that regular ones were made for idiots. Old lady was becoming more frustrated.

"Did you call me an idiot, you walking broom? You did, didn't you?! Well, I'lll tell you what…-"

"Wait, wait, granny!" Gintoki stepped in. "He's just very concerned that the penguins are dying because of global warming so he is trying to rise awareness. Here's your regular doughnuts" he said with a big smile.

"No, I actually like them because they are very cu…-" Gintoki covered the big idiot's mouth. Luckily, old lady didn't hear that.

"Is that so? I am touched by this young gentlemen's sensitivity. Have a good day, decent boys."

As the old lady left and Gintoki was about to kick Zura's ass, he was interrupted by the cry of a boy. This time, Takasugi was the responsible.

Card Number 2: Takasugi Shinsuke (Responsible for Shop Cleaning because he couldn't find another job after getting out of prison)

Weaknesses:

A big ass emo

Strengths:

None

Apperantly, Takasugi yelled "DIE!" at a child who spilled ice cream on the floor, now that he had to clean it. Now, little girl was crying like hell and her mom shot deathly glances to Takasugi while he was trying to calm the girl.

"PIEEEE! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL IDEA TAKASUGI! LET'S GIVE THIS CUTE LITTLE GIRL A PIE AS A PRESENT!"

Great, now they were giving their products as presents instead of making money. At least, the girl did stop crying after that and mom looked calmer. This day couldn't get any better, he thought. Well, at least Sakamoto idiot didn't cause any trouble today, he also thought. But he immediately wished he didn't thought that thought because a fire broke out in the front of the shop.

Card Number 3: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Cashier)

Weaknesses:

AHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!

Strengths:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Yelled Gintoki, trying to extinguish the fire.

"Ahahahahha, Gintoki, isn't it funny? Ahahahahaa. You know I wear sunglasses all the time, right? But there is no sun inside of the shop, so I didn't see I was setting this paper on fire instead of lighting the candles for the customer's birthday that sits in the back. Ahahahaha."

"That paper you say? You idiot that's money, not some random paper!" He hit Sakamoto's head with the fire extinguisher.

"Ahahaha, really? Well, I don't know because you see, I can't see." He said lying on the floor.

Gintoki started laughing this time. "I can't stand this. I gotta go out. Your stupidity is contagious!"

But then he remembered old hag yelling "YOU'LL WORK OVER TIME" and thought about his rent and Kagura's school expenses and pervert god's food prices. So, he took a breath and brought the birthday cake to the customer. But he saw the customer was gone and left a paper on the table that said: "Skype tonight. Username: Hijigin69"

"The fuck is Hijigin?"