I Prefer Spearmint: Chapter 3

AN: I'm on a roll :D yay~ Replying to the only two comments (for now) of the fic: Thank you! I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it~ I've read a few fics with people dropping into the Ouran-verse, but it's cool to know that this one's more unique~ yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC~

Enjoy!

"Ah, you must be Fuwa Mao-san, right?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Here's your uniform, and here's your student card- just for identification and attendance checking, you know. Also, here's a map of the school. Please feel free to explore and tour the school. Have a nice day!"

The counter girl is pretty nice.

And cute.

Also, now that I think, Kyoya looks pretty hot.

Just saying.

I tried on the dress, and pulled up my winter stockings. Prancing out into the hallways (which were quite conveniently unsheltered, I felt the first blast of the autumn wind, and laughed. Spinning around in the courtyard of the Administrative Block, I really felt like a little kid and a princess all over again. Not that I was once a princess, but I was crowned 'Princess Rachel the peasant slug' by Nicole, so.

Actually, I feel kinda cold.

Maybe I should request for the male uniform. But oh god- this feels really nice and happily princessy. Do I pick style or comfort? What a hard choice. Living in old-tropical-Singapore has me used to shorts and baggy shirts while I slugged all over the couch. But then again, I never really got the chance to wear dresses. Maybe I should alternate. They never really mentioned that in the rules, did they? Well, screw gender rules I'm 'Princess Rachel the peasant slug', of course gender rules don't apply!

And with that, I walked into the office to request another set of the male uniform.

But of course, I kept the female uniform on, because damn did I feel like a rich Swanlake dancer. And that feels good, for someone who has balance issues.

You know, I'm a little… wary. I figured that they would have people to guide me along this school, and the map they've given me is… well, if they had passed it on to someone else, they might have found it instructive- but the thing is that I'm horrible at map-reading. And mind-reading.

Which reminds me that I need to read the file in greater detail.

Let's see…

I am completely geared up for my 'Moe Moe Top Secret Mission'.

But what sort of a name is 'Mao Fuwa'? It sounds weird. And not sweet like, let's say- 'Hikari Ono' and 'Yuuka Asami' and- okay fine, I'll admit that I'm a great fan of the Sera Myu musicals, okay. They're really great singers.

But it's not fun when you realise that you're fourteen years old, and supposed to be taking up lessons that sixteen year olds take. English would probably be easy, but Math? Chemistry? Science? No. I hope I'll be able to wing it. It says that Mao Fuwa is pretty smart for her age. Or at least a straight-A student. It also says that she's rich, but the money is kept out of her reach- until she's 21, that is. Well, two years faster to reaching my- (well, Mao Fuwa's) bag of gold.

And currently, guess who's keeping me well-fed and sheltered? The Ootori Corporations.

That's right.

They've decided to 'sponsor' me, out of charity. Which is why I'll forever be indebted to them- and probably why I'm not stuffed into an orphanage for being parent-less. I'm pretty suspicious, though. What could I do for them? I don't think Mao Fuwa's parents were related to them, were they? Maybe. Or maybe I'm the secret princess to some ancient treasure and they need me to operate a certain silver crystal or something.

Nope.

But here's the catch: I'm not engaged to any of the Ootori brothers! At least- that's what the file says. With ten exclamation marks. But that's how people's situations usually go, right? I mean, in fanfictions, they get engaged and fall in love with their fiancé… or fall in love with someone else. I hear that everyone gets engaged to either Mori or Kyoya. Meh. I'm only fourteen anyway. But if I'm not here in this world to develop my character as a love interest or a damsel-in-distress, then why am I here? (Inserts stunned silence and gasping into silk handkerchiefs.)

Kicking-ass, of course.

Except that nobody's got the booty here.

I think.

I can't really see, with all that silk coats and stuff.

I miss Nicole. Except that I'd never tell her, and she also hasn't got the booty.

"Look at her!" Okay, crap- I've been sighted- what do I do- wait, I'm not in 'commoner rags' or any… peculiar fashionable getup, so I should be safe, right? "Do you think she's from Yale University?" Blame the Yale hoodie.

"Nah, she looks too young." You mean short. But you're right, anyway.

Apparently you're not supposed to wear hoodies over your uniforms. Silk coats, yes. But hoodies (comfortable, revered, worshiped, warm, fluffy hoodies?), no. I should probably move my fashion-disaster-of-a-butt.

Did you know that you can actually waste away three hours on Candy Crush? Fun fact, now proven true. And I think I should go over to the Host Club. But I'm not supposed to know where it is. So I should ask someone, right? Right.

"Excuse me," I called out to a random dude in the hallway.

He turned around, and- oh my god oh my god oh my god it's Haruhi. Haruhi. I'm not supposed to know her right- or her gender. His. Right. Right. I'm just an innocent person. And I need to ask where the Host Club is. Keep calm-

"Hey," I said, smiling. "Do you know where the Host Club is? Though it's a club to entertain female members of the society. Not that I doubt your masculinity, since you're a guy, right, but yeah, today looks like a good day to crush gender rules and-"

"Calm down. I'm a host at that club-"

"Never would have guessed! Not that it's an insult-"

"Please come this way," she- he (constant brainwashing will affect the way you behave) said, laughingly.

"S-so, what's your name?" That's a relatively innocent question, right? I can't keep assigning her-him as 'random dude' in my brainwashed mind, right?

"Fujioka Haruhi, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Ah, I'm- Fuwa Mao. Nice to meet you, too," I introduced. "So, what's going on today? In the Host Club. If you might know."

"I'm not very sure. I don't think we'll be dressing up today."

"That's nice, too."

"So, Fuwa-san, if you don't mind, have you been frequenting the Host Club lately? I don't think I have seen you anywhere."

"I'm new. I'll be starting school tomorrow. Ootori-san told me to go to the Host Club after school ended. Not that I know him well, but his family is sponsoring me. Yeah." That much information, I should know, right?

"Oh, so you know Kyoya-senpai?"

"Not well." And yet another conversation brutally slaughtered!

She- okay, I give up- grinned at me, and opened the doors of the Host Club. Rose petals flew at us, and I sighed- no, really. Petals. Pretty petals. If I wasn't wearing a hoodie, I might look like a romanticised pastel picture. Except that I still look as good- and my hoodie resents that revelation.

"Welcome- ah, it's only Haruhi- and another kitten!"

"Uh. Meow?" Or do they say 'nyan' here?

"Fuwa-san, I see you found your way here." Kyoya beamed at me, even as his glasses glinted.

"Eh? Kyo-chan, who is that?" Cue the cute boy- I didn't really like his live action alter ego, but this version is just too adorable oh god.

"Hello everyone, I'm Fuwa Mao. It's nice to meet you." At this, I braced myself for Tamaki's mushy words.

"Ah, my princess- your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull shadow of the moon." Did he just- did he just reference Mulan (dark side of the moon)? But honestly, I lost him after the third word of that sentence.

"Uh, thank you?" Right, Rachel- you need to blend in! Act all flustered and blushy so that they'll leave you alone and you won't affect the plotline of the story! "Ah, Tamaki-sama~"

God, I'm going to vomit.

"Fuwa-san, you know Tamaki?" Haruhi asked.

Crap. Blew my cover! What do I do-

"I did my research…? Like, basic asking around. Nothing too deep. I don't google people, you know. I just- I just asked around, because Ootori-san told me to come to the Host Club after school, and I needed to know more about it, so yeah," I finished lamely.

"Do you have…" one of the twins said.

"Split personality disorder?" the other continued.

"Why do you say that? And besides, coming from you two, that's rather rich." I shrugged. Wait, did I just pun?

Oh my god. I did. Ladies and gentlemen, the genius brain of Rachel Cho's. I swear, I'm going to put it up on my college application that I'm really cool and my brilliance can out-sparkle the rest of the world. Look at my mighty and majestic glow.

"Anyway, who would you like to designate as your host? Would you like Tamaki, the princely type; Hikaru and Kaoru, the devilish type; Mori-sempai, the wild type; Honey-sempai, the loli-shota type; or Haruhi, the natural type?" Kyoya asked.

"Wait, I have to designate a host?"

"Please do." That was more of an order than anything else.

"Umh…" I started to think.

Did I want to be coddled in compliments? Nope. That meant that Tamaki was out. Did I want to entertain myself by fetishizing over incestuous acts? Nope. Cross the twins out! Did I want some quiet? Maaaaybe. Coddle a kid? Not really. Have a nice chat with the (quite possibly) only sane person in this room? Yeah, that sounded nice.

But what about the devil himself? Nah, it's not like I wouldn't be speaking to him anyway. And besides, who'd want to be cursed with seven years of bad luck?

"Mori-senpai," I said, glancing up at the (obnoxiously) tall host.

At least he won't talk while I read through my file again. There's something really strange about that, and I can't understand. I just can't figure out what's wrong with it (says me, even if I did play around with Candy Crush for three whole hours). I'm tired.

I sat down on one of the plushy armchairs (like those that sink in in the Starbucks café). And watched as Mori join in with Honey's antics. The hordes of fangirls who were flailing over the cousins were so noisy. I think I need more apple juice. I wonder if they serve apple juice here? Not those kind of expensive-hand-peeled apple juices, of course. Just the normal, sweetened types. I looked down at the red tea in my cup again, and groaned. I wouldn't want to cause Haruhi any trouble, would I?

Judging by how Haruhi was already a host, I'd say I'm already past the first episode. The Host Club isn't Bali-themed, so that means it's not the second episode… Then again, this could be an 'in-between episodes', right?

"Mori-senpai, have you guys dressed up as Bali… inhabitants yet?" I asked.

"No."

Ah. That means I'm in between the first and second episode. That's cool.

"Bali?" Kyoya asked, from somewhere behind me.

I grinned. Well, if there was one way to go along with the plotline, might as well accelerate it! And then, maybe- if this ended, I would be able to get out of this world! "I guess. If you wanted to show off your charms, which is precisely what you're doing with this club, then maybe you'd want to follow how people dress in tropical lands, seeing as they do reveal a fair bit of skin. And then, Bali- because- because it's magical? At least, that's how they've advertised themselves."

He glanced at me, and gave one of his vague smiles. And then, he excused himself before writing something down in his notebook. Did I… say something wrong? Perhaps, because I seemed like an unqualified advisor and a little scrawny teenager… And that took away the credibility of my words. And so, maybe episode two would never come!

Mom, Dad… I might have screwed up the space-time continuum.

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