Chapter Three

*Please Note that Rosalie Kindrick is an OC Characters, other characters are copyright to MGM, Peter Jackson and Tolkien. This takes place in The Hobbit: AN Unexpected Journey and follows the script line roughly*

"Here, you look like you could use some," I said, offering the tiny man my plate.

"Thank you," he said, picking up a slice of ham.

"Some gathering, eh?" I said, popping a cherry tomato into my mouth. "What's the occasion?"

"I have no idea," the tiny man replied. "I have never seen any of them in my life, apart from Gandalf,"

The food was delicious, so rich and filling. The tiny man and me stood side by side, watching the dinner party on the side lines.

"Bilbo," he said suddenly, taking a roll. "Bilbo Baggins is my name,

"Rosalie," I replied. "Rosalie Kindrick,"

They were extremely messing. All at once they began downing their mugs of ale. The ale mostly got into their beards. I pulled a face of disgust whilst Bilbo made a noise of unhappiness at it. They all began having a burping contest. Bilbo actually turned away at that. They finished eating and Bilbo rushed forwards, chasing after a dwarf that picked up a doily. I followed Bilbo with an amused expression. I was trying to find out what to do with my plate.

"Excuse me!" Bilbo cried yet again. "That is a doily, not a dishcloth,"

He snatched it out of the confused looking dwarf. I stood behind him, trying hard not to snigger.

"But it's full of holes!" protested the dwarf with the funny hat.

"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet," Bilbo grumbled.

"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too," the dwarf with the funny hat agreed. "If you got the balls for it,"

He gave me a wink as I lost it. I stood there, clinging onto my plate as I giggled. Kili appeared by my side and took my plate from me. After a lot more scrambling, I retreat into the now quite dinning room where the extremely fat dwarf if devouring the leftovers and a few others sat avoiding the chaos of cleaning up (or just avoiding cleaning up). They completely ignores me so I do the same.

"Excuse me," asked a young, cheerful looking dwarf. "I'm sorry to interrupt but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here you go, Ori," Fili said, taking the plate. "Give it to me,"

Without warning he tosses the plate to Kili. I let out a gasp as Kili tosses it behind him without another glance. I expected to here a crash but none came. I stood up and rushed into the kitchen to watch. The dwarves begin a line of throwing the plates at one another.

"Rosalie!" Kili cried, a twinkle in his eye. "Catch!"

"No don't!" I cried but it was too late.

A bowl came flying towards me. Instead of catching it, ii deflected it towards the dwarf behind me. He caught it and began to wash it. I picked up a cloth and began drying the plates to avoid Kili throwing anymore at me. He was lucky there was someone behind me to catch it. I threw him an annoyed look and he burst out laughing. I couldn't help but grin. He was like an excited puppy- someone you couldn't stay mad at, no matter what they do.

"Oh!" Gandalf chuckled, narrowly avoiding being hit by a plate.

Poor Bilbo looked harassed at the plates flying everywhere.

"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery," he cried amongst the flying plates. "It's over a hundred years old!"

All off a sudden, the dwarves in the dining room began drumming rhythmically on the table with their forks, knives and fists.

"And can-can you not do that?" Bilbo pleaded helplessly. "You'll blunt them,"

"ooh, d'hear that, lads?" the dwarf with the funny hat asked. "He says we'll blunt them,"

Then out of nowhere, they begin singing.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks!" Kili burst out singing in a deep, sexy voice.

"Smash the bottles and burn the cocks," Fili continued in a lighter voice.

They all joined in straight afterwards.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates
that's what Bilbo Baggins Hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
leave the bones on the bedroom mat
pour the milk on the pantry floor
splash the wine on every door
dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
pound them up with a thumping pole
when you've finished, if any are whole
send them down the hall to roll

…
that's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

As they sang, they continued throwing the plates around and piling them up on the table. I helped stack them neatly, laughing and clapping at the song. Kili looked at me with a pleased expression. Bilbo came rushing in and looked relieved that nothing had actually been damaged and everything was in order.

Then there was a heavy knock on the door.

Everyone fell silent at that knock. I gazed at Gandalf, looking for reassurance. There was just something about Gandalf that made you feel safe. He looked solemnly towards the door. I felt actually really nervous by this new stranger.

"He is here," Gandalf declared.

He walked towards the door, everyone else followed him. I hung back shyly. Gandalf pulled open the door to reveal the new arrival. He was majestic. There was no other way to describe him. he was a majestic lion amongst the scabbiest cubs. He had the air of a king, someone you respected just by looking at. I felt envious and awe to be in his presence. He entered the little house and looked around. The dwarves bowed or half bowed. I felt like I should have but I felt silly at the thought of it.

"Gandalf," he his voice was majestic. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I loves my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."

Bilbo stepped forward, looking irritated.

"Mark? There's no mark on that door," Bilbo protested. "It was painted a week ago!"

I felt so sorry for the tiny thing, all harassed and out of his depth. He appeared to be having a worse time than me. Well, at least they haven't entered my home and tore it apart and emptied my fridge of all its contents.

"There is a mark; I put it there myself," Gandalf confessed. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield,"

Majestic as fuck. And as per usual, I was forgotten at the back of the group, despite towering over most of them.

"So this is the Hobbit," Thorin said, eying Bilbo up. "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

What the fuck have I gotten myself into? I asked myself.

"Padron me?" Bilbo asked, hoping he had misheard Thorin.

"Axe or sword?" Thorin pressed. "What's your weapon of choice?"

"Well I have some skill at conkers, if you must know," Bilbo said proudly. "But I fail to see why that's relevant,"

Thorin didn't look impressed. Bilbo is just a socially awkward dork. It's adorable.

"Thought as much." Thorin grunted. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar,"

The dwarves all laughed at that. Then he turned at looked at me. I wished I was small enough to shrink down and hide. He looked at me with suspicion.

"And who is the girl?" he asked.

The group parted and pushed me forward. I stumbled forward, gulping.

"I'm Rosalie Kindrick," I muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Thorin demanded.

"The hope somebody can send me home?" I offered hopefully. "Which is so far away it's in another world entirely,"

"That much I feared," Gandalf muttered under his breath but nodoby could hear.

"Can you fight?" Thorin asked.

"Not fighting as such," I said, running a hand through my hair. "I do fencing, which is sorta like sword fighting-,"

Thorin just grunted at me and turned and walked into the dining hall. I was left there felling confused and stupid.