A/N: Thank you for the reviews and the support for this story is just so wonderful. Chapter 4 is not too far away. I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 3: Fitting in
Three scenarios played out in her mind as she stood on Deanna's doorstep, glaring across the street at Rick. He'd stopped waving but the annoying smirk remained plastered on his face. It was so tempting to walk up to him and punch the smug expression off of his face, just to give him a little taste of how she was feeling. She felt incredibly stupid and unobservant, but really, how could she have known. However, resorting to violence fell under scenario número uno and she quickly discarded the reckless idea, however satisfying it might have been in the short term.
The second scenario was less violent but no less confrontational, the objective was to question him as to why he had felt the need to mislead her. Why couldn't he just have introduced himself as the leader, what was the big deal? Why had it been so important for him to pretend with her? These were valid questions, weren't they, she wasn't overreacting. It was just common courtesy for him (even in this post-apocalyptic world), to have been transparent with her. No doubt he had known she would find out the truth after seeing Deanna today. The idea that he was playing some sort of game with her, made her angry.
Rick Grimes was frighteningly much more perceptive than she had initially realised, he barely knew her and yet, had guessed were her vulnerabilities lay. He'd played her yesterday, known the right buttons to push and gave her what she yearned for in the form of this community. After Woodbury and the unfulfilled promise of Terminus, she had lost all hope. Each day that went by, she'd felt like she was losing bits and pieces of herself. Being here in Alexandria meant a fresh start, it could not erase all that she had gone through but she had a chance to start again.
It did not escape her notice that out of all her options, she hadn't even considered just leaving. Rick wasn't important, her future and sanity relied on making this work and she wasn't going to waste what was left of it. She would deal with whatever bullshit he tried to throw her way. Upon reaching that conclusion, she carried out the action plan of the third scenario. She walked down the steps all the while maintaining eye contact with him. When she reached the bottom she veered to the right, giving him a dirty look before she stomped off.
A few minutes later, she came to a stop in front of her brand new home, she allowed herself a moment of levity as she smiled. Wiping away the tears that ran down her cheeks, she walked up the stairs, her fingers played along the porch railing reverently. Her fingers gripped the door knob and she was momentarily frozen by the magnitude of how everything that had happened had led to this. She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, laughing shakily. I'm being stupid.
The past three days had been a learning process of getting acclimated to her new environment and being around people, again.
Rick had put her in charge of close combat training with different types of blades and taking small groups outside the walls as a practical component to their training. The age groups ranged right from adolescents to adults. The children were more excited and eager to learn, however, most of the adults were suspicious of her and were being rather difficult and possibly, juvenile.
It was always the case that her classes were supervised by one of Rick's people, for the first two she had Daryl. He was a friendly grump and a lot more communicative than what their first meeting had indicated. Yesterday, however, Daryl was replaced by an older lady by the name of Carol. Unlike Daryl who had gotten involved and helped her with the demonstrations and correcting techniques, Carol had just watched her, unwaveringly, a calculating look in her eyes. It made her wary of what was hidden behind the façade of the helplessly, weak woman.
Just before sunset, she helped with clean-up outside the walls and that took up at least an hour or two, so that by the time she got to her house; she had a bath, cooked herself something to eat, and either sat on the couch with something to read, or just laid in bed staring at the ceiling.
The silence in the house was deafening. No one visited and she didn't venture out to visit anyone either, her pride didn't allow her to beg for company. Ironically, the only people she even interacted with -other than Aaron- were Rick and his people and she couldn't exactly befriend them, the risk of slipping up was too great.
Before the world had gone to crap, she had had a group of friends that she was close to and interacted with, that was as far as her social circle extended and that had been enough for her. But since the apocalypse, she had lost everything and after Andrea, she had been out there, alone, for a very long time. The only things she had really yearned for were shelter and food and somewhere to call home.
Part of her understood why nobody had visited or why they were reluctant to talk and welcome her into their community. Their lack of trust in strangers could be blamed solely on Rick and his people. It hadn't been all that difficult to find out why the town was divided between the two groups. She heard the rumours in passing, of what had happened here since Rick's group had rolled into town. She wasn't one to listen to gossip but she couldn't help but feel curious.
The story of Rick being involved with a married woman- Jessie, the blonde woman whom she had initially thought was Rick's wife- had both intrigued and disgusted her. The disgust had set in when she learnt that the man Rick had executed the first day she had met him, had been Jessie's husband. Some of the residents believed he'd done it to be with her and the others thought that he wanted to overthrow Deanna's rule. It didn't make any sense to her but if all of this was true, Rick had certainly achieved his endgame, on both accounts.
Now that he was in charge, the people in the community grumbled and were resistant to the changes he was making. Personally, she though the mandatory training and additional precautions were a good idea.
Their discontent was further incensed by the fact that their new leader had placed his own people in positions of power. It didn't help her case either, she'd been here no more than a week, and she was already in some sort of leading role.
Oh well, she didn't give a shit what these people thought of her, if this was how she was paying for her livelihood, then so be it.
On the evening of her fourth day in Alexandria, she was at home curled up under a blanket on her couch in the lounge room (after eating dinner), trying to relax. Armed with a novel that she had found yesterday during her exploration of the house in one of the unoccupied bedrooms. Novels weren't really her thing but she hoped it would serve as a distraction from the fact that she was alone in this huge house.
She was half way into a crime novel when she was startled by a knock on the door that caused her to almost drop the book. Instead, she put it down on the coffee table and got up hesitantly, wondering who the hell was visiting her. When she looked through the peephole, she was genuinely surprised to see Rick standing there, she was tempted to ignore him. They had barely interacted with each other- something she was grateful for, and that her plan to stay under the radar was going swimmingly well.
Opening the door, she leaned against it blocking the way into her house, she had no intention of letting him in.
"Good evening Michonne, can I come in", he asked, smiling at her.
Michonne was tempted to ask why, which she did. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and the friendly attitude and charm melted away instantly. "Since you are new here, I may start to think you are hiding something in there. I may even start to formulate a theory that you finding Aaron and Daryl wasn't a coincidence at all. And because I'm the leader here, I can still kick you out", he threatened, darkly. He cocked his head to the side, almost as if he was sizing her up. "Do any of those reasons work for you or do we have a problem."
Michonne scowled at him. "No Rick, we don't have a problem". This is what happens when I put out to the universe that I'm feeling lonely. The universe thought she deserved a sarcastic and egotistical leader, forcing his way into her home. She stood aside to let him through.
Once again, she puzzled over the many sides of this man that refused categorization. Yesterday in particular had been an eye opener for her, she had seen coming from her shift outside the wall when she spotted him coming from the direction of the playground. He'd been walking with a teenaged boy and the little blonde girl. She now knew that they were his children- Carl and Judith- and they had been laughing as they talked to the little girl in Rick's arms. Involuntarily, she had teared up at the beautiful scene of the family unit and quickly averted her gaze when Rick had looked her way. She'd pretended that she hadn't seen them.
Shaking her head to dispel the memory and the emotions it invoked, she closed the door slowly. When she turned around, Rick was standing just inside the entryway, seemingly waiting for her to walk in first. This dude was weird, where had this paranoia been when he been trying to convince her- a stranger- to stay.
She stepped around him and into the living room, going back to her couch where she sat down with her legs crossed at the knees, and her hands resting on her lap. Rick sat on the couch across the room with the coffee table situated between them. His eyes noticeably explored the room, taking note of the novel on the table, the blanket beside her and generally, the lack of any life in the house.
Michonne pursed her lips at the scrutiny, and at how suddenly the atmosphere in the room felt different from what it had been earlier, changed just by his presence alone. It made her uncomfortable. "You realise that you are the one who invited me to stay, right. You said you needed me here and you offered me a home to stay", she pointed out, "you need to stop doing that", she demanded, forcefully.
Rick's blue gaze narrowed at her tone. "Doing what?"
"Because I'm the leader here I can still kick you out, shtick", she mimicked, not in the least bit amused. "I told you, I knew a leader like that and he was a murderous, conniving asshole". Although it needed to be said, she didn't want him to see this as an invitation to ask her all sorts of details about her life. A silence settled between them, she watched him warily as he stared at the floor.
"I suppose, I deserve that", Rick admitted, sheepishly, by way of apology.
She nodded in acceptance although she mocked him, inwardly. You can do better than that, 'I apologise', are the words you are looking for, Rick. However it didn't take a genius to figure out that was as much of an apology, she would be getting.
"Why are you here, Rick?"
She was startled when he got up suddenly and started walking around the room, touching this and that, until he finally came to rest near the empty fire place, his eyes on the katana. "Who are you, Michonne? I've asked around to see how you are settling in but no one here seems to know anything about you, why is that?" Rick turned around and leaned against the wall, he watched her with an inscrutable look on his face
Her fingers flexed from where her nails had sunk into the fabric of the armrest at his sudden movement. She didn't know how to respond to his question and so she didn't say anything.
"Normally, the people here would throw you a welcoming party and ask you asinine things like what kind of pasta you like", he mocked. "Instead, you are invited to a family dinner tomorrow night, at my house".
Stunned by the unexpected turn of events, she blinked at him as she tried to rein in her initial reaction to, strongly decline the invitation. Ultimately, she couldn't say no, there was no earthly reason why she could not attend this dinner that had been issued by the leader of the community, she was a resident of.
She lowered her eyes. "I'll be there", she muttered.
"Good. Glad that's sorted. So, how have your training sessions been going?"
She glanced up at him shrewdly. "I would have thought that my supervisors reported back to you", she remarked.
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Something in her found a perverse pleasure in seeing him so annoyed. "The kids are willing to learn, and so are few of the adults but most of them are not happy taking orders from me. They are wondering why a virtual stranger was able to walk in, out of the blue and given a position by their new leader".
"They said this, to you?" Rick questioned in a doubtful tone, a lone eyebrow raised in her direction.
"Not in as many words", she conceded. "But it's the feeling I got".
"Ah". He rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from where he had been standing. "You can't win with these people." He spoke with contempt in his voice, he rubbed at his jaw, his fingers sinking into the growing but manageable beard. "What did they think being ready meant?" he grumbled to himself.
Michonne didn't know what to say to that but made to stand up when he approached, hoping that the exhausting and unexpected visit was over.
Thankfully, he seemed to have satiated his curiosity and said his goodbyes, reminding her of the dinner the following day. It wasn't likely that she would forget.
She was more than relieved when she finally closed the door after his departure. Leaning against it, she pressed the palm of her hand against her abdomen almost as if she was physically trying to supress the nervous energy brewing within her at the prospect of the interrogation that was in store for her, tomorrow. However, she couldn't help but also look forward to it…to having some company.
The following day, she had just finished her duties outside the wall and was walking slowly towards home, in an effort to delay the moment she had to get ready for dinner at the Grimes, residence. She was so deep in thought (imagining all the different ways things could go wrong) that she almost collided into someone. Luckily, said person was more cognizant of their surroundings than she was, long fingers carefully curled around the exposed skin of her shoulder. Her stomach clenched into knots when she followed the hand with her eyes, from where it touched her skin and up to its owner. Rick.
And walking with him was, Jessie.
Considering the things she'd heard, Michonne found it extremely weird to see them together, her eyes darted to the blonde woman trying to find a hint of anger, anything really, for the man standing next to her. She found Jessie's gaze trained on her, or more precisely on the hand that was still resting on her shoulder.
Her face began to feel warm as she looked back at Rick, she gently moved out from under his touch. "Thanks", she croaked.
Rick nodded as he gazed intently at her. "See you soon?"
Michonne fidgeted as the anxiety began to set in, overwhelming the smidgeon amount of anticipation, she had felt yesterday. She gripped the brown leather strap of the scabbard holding her katana, tightly. "Yeah".
In the awkward silence that followed, his searching gaze ran over her face again.
"Um, what's going on?"
Michonne jerked away from his blue gaze and was disturbed to find out that she had completely forgotten the woman's presence. Jessie looked bemusedly between the two of them, her eyes finally resting on Rick for an explanation.
That was odd, if these two were together as the rumours implied, then why didn't Jessie know about tonight's dinner? Not willing to subject herself to their drama, she beat a hasty retreat, not missing the frown Rick directed at her when she said her goodbyes and left them alone.