Games 4 & 5: Props and Hoedown

Kisuke: (With the audience) "Welcome back to a special 'Bleach Edition' of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' Right now, I'm sitting with Byakuya Kuchiki, who is the older brother of one of our performers, Rukia Kuchiki, and the Squad 6 Captain. How are you enjoying the show so far, Byakuya?"

Byakuya: "Quite personally, I think it's pointless. I've never been a fan of comedy in any way, shape, or form, and this especially goes for Improvisional Comedy. In spite of Rukia's performance, this show proves how utterly pointless it is."

Kisuke: "Okay, so you're enjoying it. That's good. Now let's get back with the show." (Returns to his desk and pulls out a couple of unusual Styrofoam objects)

Ichigo: "Oh you've got to be $# *%~# kidding me." (Audience laughs)

Kisuke: "No I am not $# *%~# kidding you, Ichigo. This next game is called 'Props' and it is for all four of you. Now what happens is this: Tessai, out of the kindness of his heart, made these Styrofoam props with the help of Jinta and Ururu. You'll each be split up into teams of two. Ichigo, you're with Rukia and Soifon, you're with Yoruichi. Each team will take a turn with the prop I gave them and, much like 'Scenes from a Hat', you'll be delivering quick one- or two-liners using the prop in a silly way. Here're your props, and you can start now."

Rukia: (Ichigo is wearing their prop, which looks like moose antlers) "What kind of mutated rabbit are you?" (Audience laughter)

Ichigo: (In Bullwinkle's voice) "You act like you've never seen a moose before." (Audience laughs and applauds. Kisuke hits the buzzer)

Soifon: (Yoruichi is holding their prop, which turns out to be a baseball bat) "Boy, Lady Yoruichi, what an unusual stick you have."

Yoruichi: "All the better to hit your Lieutenant with. (Audience laughs and applauds. Kisuke hits the buzzer)

Ichigo: (Holding one of the 'moose antlers' while Rukia is holding the other) "Huh, these are some odd clubs." (Shrugs his shoulders and gets into a stance. Soifon has a smile on her face) "FORE!" (Audience laughs while Soifon and Yoruichi are on the ground and Rukia acts like she's watching a golf ball going farther away. Kisuke buzzes)

Yoruichi: (She and Soifon are using their prop like a microphone) "And the award for 'Best Acting duo goes too…Ichigo and Rukia!" (Audience applauds as Ichigo and Rukia hug them. Kisuke buzzes and has the Drew Carey 'I'm offended' face)

Rukia: (Ichigo is using the prop like teeth) "I thought that dinosaurs were extinct." (Ichigo looks at the audience, who is laughing, with the props still at his mouth, and then roars back at Rukia. Kisuke buzzes)

Soifon: (Holding the bat on her head) "I'm going to kill whoever thought it was a good idea for me to dress like the Slim Jim Guy." (Audience laughs and cheers. Kisuke buzzes)

Ichigo: (Rukia is holding their prop on her back) "You must be an angel. Those are some unusual wings, though." (Audience laughs. Kisuke buzzes)

Yoruichi: (Holding their prop like a baseball bat while Soifon acts as if she's pitching a softball. Yoruichi swings and misses) "Dammit!" (Looks towards Kisuke) "Hey, ball boy, hand us another ball will you!" (Audience laughs)

Kisuke: (Hits the buzzer 5 times) "Okay, thank you for those performances, you guys. That was quite entertaining. That's 1000 points apiece. Yoruichi, I won't deduct your points for that last comment. I'll just reduce your paycheck."

Yoruichi: "We don't get a paycheck, remember?"

Kisuke: "That's right, readers; we are entertaining you guys for free. Now let's see what's next on our agenda. Oh, would you look at that? It's everyone's favorite game…'HOEDOWN!" (Audience cheers while the performers get back up again. The order is Soifon, Ichigo, Yoruichi, and Rukia) "Now what I need from the audience tonight is something good that's on TV." (Audience: "Law & Order!" "CSI!" "Pokémon!" "Ninja Turtles!") "I heard Pokémon in that. That's just a single show, though. It's quite popular with children and animation fanatics in general. Why don't we broaden our horizons and expand that to 'Anime'? Ladies and Gentlemen, here is the 'Anime Hoedown' played by Orihime Inoue. Take it away, Orihime, whenever you're ready."

(Orihime plays the 'Hoedown' music)

Soifon:
"Anime is a topic I don't talk much about,
Primarily because with new shows, I have lots of doubts;
But I'm stuck in my house because of lots of snow,
So I guess I'll see what is on, oh no it's 'Naruto'!"

(Audience laughs and cheers)

Ichigo:
"Every day around twelve, I'm lying in my room,
Because my sister Yuzu always watches 'Sailor Moon';
But come around three, Rukia has this habit,
She drags me down the stairs with her to watch 'Chappy the Rabbit'!"

(Audience laughs and applauds as Ichigo looks at Rukia, who is trying to look innocent)

Yoruichi:
"Doing these Hoedowns is a waste of time.
It's hard to come up with one verse, and another one to rhyme;
But to 'Blue Exorcist', I have to raise my glass.
They don't have to do this, Kisuke, you can kiss my ass!"

(Audience roars in laughter)

Ichigo: "Don't give him any ideas, Yoruichi." (Audience laughs while Soifon shakes her head)

Rukia:
"Earlier, Captain Soifon stole my rhyme.
Now I have to find another for me and Ichigo to watch this time.
Yuzu told me about one where hamsters were the stars of the show.
In fact, I still remember the name, Ichigo, we're watching 'Hamtaro'! (Audience laughs)

All of them: "WE'RE WATCHING 'HAMTARO'!

Ichigo: (After they all sit down) "We are not watching 'Hamtaro'. 'Chappy the Rabbit' is bad enough."

Rukia: (As Yoruichi holds her back) "Don't you dare insult Chappy! That show is art at its best! You wouldn't know good animation if it hit you in the face!"

Yoruichi: "Uh, Kisuke, I think this is a good time for a commercial break!"

Kisuke: "As funny as this looks, you're right, Yoruichi. We'll be right back for more 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' right after this!"

CHAPTER 3 END

I hope you enjoyed those games. It was tough to come up with the Hoedown verses. It'll be tougher to get the Irish Drinking Song verses just right. Lucky for you, that's our next and final game along with the whole 'Reading the Credits' part.

By the way, if you couldn't tell, I censored Ichigo and Kisuke's swearing in this just to be a little comical.