"…I didn't think you were coming," Sookie half sighed, half sobbed, taking a step towards him, "and it's been days Godric~ days!"
He tilted his head to the side a fraction showing no reaction, his face smooth, and his countenance indifferent.
"Has something changed? Is it me~ have I upset you somehow?" She asked, almost in a begging sort of way, grasping at straws, just trying to get him; fighting the physical urge to throw herself at his mercy. "I'm- I'm- losing it."
Godric gifted her with a small smile then. The kind that conveyed pity, standing so close, yet being so far away at the same time. He was wearing his usual casual attire; gray sweatpants with matching gray sleeveless sweatshirt and white sneakers, looking like some college freshman who just finished a workout at the gym.
Sookie felt even more insecure and self-conscious at the obvious detail that he looked barely nineteen. Her own biological clock still tick- tocking ahead. She wished…she wished…
"You have lost nothing," he finally spoke, protracting his fangs, and then biting into his wrist with a crunch, "Here…drink little one. You will think more clearly."
Before Sookie could so much as blink twice, he was embracing her from behind and guiding his arm up to her eager mouth, cradling her body almost protectively.
"The fact that you want and need me to this degree, makes my dead heart feel Miss Stackhouse," he whispered into the shell of her ear softly; Sookie's suckles and moans like the music of madness to an alternate universe of fairytales. "You are still mine…"
Godric used his other hand to slide the black hair tie holding her pony tail in place gently off, letting loose her blonde curls, as she leaned against him with a sense of home, once again safe. He trailed his tongue over the pulse point of her neck, sending tingly sensations up her spine, as he continued, "My absence is merely a response to your denial of my request." Sookie stopped suddenly; licking her lips in outrage, "You- you're punishing me?"
He chuckled and kissed her shoulder quickly before letting her go, speeding away to be in front of her again; an eyebrow cocked with mocking and satisfaction. "Not punishment per say~ but I do believe that is merely an opinion of one's perception."
"But, that's not fair," Sookie accused, her eyes electric with indignation.
"Oh… isn't it?"
They stood facing each other in silence for a minute, her gathering up all her thoughts and emotions, as he still conveyed nothing more than triumph at her weakness over him.
"You said it was my choice," Sookie reminded him carefully, weighing each word, "you said you wouldn't force me."
Godric shrugged, "And I am not…"
"Bull-crap," she spat out, truly pissed he had her at a check mate of sorts, "this is nothing less than- than- an in your face, old fashioned manipulation."
He mimed a yawn, exaggerating his palm to his mouth a few times, "I do believe it is time, how the humans say, to grow up Miss Stackhouse."
"Hypocrite- " Sookie fumed, his antics screaming childish in her mind.
There was a deadly calm to the air around them as Godric hardened, her insult and stubbornness towards him reaching a limit.
Some customers stumbling out of Fangtasia were hooting, hollering, and making noise behind them, having come out for a smoke, but neither paid any attention, fixated on their own little power struggle. Her unrelenting and him determined to have his way.
"You will yield to me," he vowed in finality, "or suffer… it is your choice Sookie."
Sometimes she hated it when Godric used her first name (like now), because he had a way of making it sound almost like a curse word. And boy did she feel cursed; her mundane Podunk existence, mimicking a nightmare, ever since the vamps had come out of the closet. Including her little bubble of a life, her disability, and her heart getting trampled, abused, and exploited beyond repair.
It would seem Godric wasn't really that different after all.
With Bill, it had been all southern charm and subtle chauvinism. With Eric, some mild perversion and a mommy complex.
But, now…
She had to admit, with the ancient…it was, by far, the worst.
"I told you Godric, I don't want to become what you are. That's not the way I see myself now or ever. Why can't you just accept that?"
He looked up to the stars and closed his eyes instead of responding, much to her growing frustration. It was like snubbing her or saying fuck off, only in silence instead.
A million things plagued her, contradicting the blood she'd just ingested, as it was making her want to swoon in a kaleidoscope of sensations. Making her resolve frail, to the point of caving in, and just giving him what he wanted. Sookie being so tired of fighting against this bitch ruining her life called destiny.
"Please…" she sniffled, that butterfly feeling hitting her again, only in a bad way this time.
What if he dumped her and disappeared, simply next time for good? Or, what if he changed his mind about meeting the sun?
"I don't want- no- I can't- lose you Godric."
He snapped out of his internal reverie and swung around, the grin on his face unsettling, as it was not like him to exhibit such intense displays. Evaluating and gauging the sincerity of her plea; testing it. Sookie swallowed hard and took a subconscious step back.
"I am not satisfied with trifle emotional outbursts, more than likely motivated by your addiction to my blood," Godric said with a chilled laugh, "And yes, I know how much it sings to you~ how much you desire it. I can sense you and your juvenile feelings Sookie, or have you forgotten?"
He became stony again, his lips a harsh flat line, his eyes almost black and evil. Taking a step forward to compensate her distance, "If you love me, like you profess, like you claim…then you would have no hesitation." His hand was caressing her face then, him doing that blurring speed of light movement, "I told you what it meant to be mine. I will not settle. I will not concede. I will not indulge you in your games of wanton commitments. It is all with me…or nothing."
"So- so- so- I either let you turn me or…" Sookie stuttered, trying to even out her breathing, unable to finish her sentence, as hot tears started to fall in her shame.
Godric brought his finger up to her cheekbone to sweep a stray tear from her eye, bringing it to his mouth and licking the salty fluid. Sookie took another deep breath before continuing. "And if you loved me~ then you wouldn't put such ultimatums on me. It works both ways."
"I have more than proven myself to you," he replied in hushed tones, "it is you who has yet to prove to me."
Sookie sagged into him, clutching and clawing at his chest; wanting to yell at him like she would anyone else, but knowing deep down, such a display to someone like him would only serve to diminish her. "I'm scared," she confessed, "I don't know anything else."
Godric held her and traced light circles into the small of her back, "You will only have a reason to fear for yourself if you are not with me little one…deep down you already know this."
Sookie nodded against the hollow of his collarbone and neck, conflicted still.
"Will it hurt?"
Her question was almost childlike, as if she was at the doctor's office about to receive a shot, and needed reassurance. Godric tasted victory, "Yes."
She pulled back in order to look at him fully, his honesty refreshing, and so unlike everyone else in her life. Realizing, (maybe for the first time) that he was all that made sense in her chaos, and letting go of that, letting go of him, would fucking kill her. And so, Sookie made her decision. Figuring it would hurt a whole lot less than his rejection or neglect. The wounds of her broken pride a festering sore in comparison to true abandonment.
"Okay…I'll do it."
Her voice sounded pitiful, even to her, so she faked a smile and mentally pulled up her big girl panties. Zeroing in on him, her lips crashing into his with all the intensity and passion she could muster.
If this was to be her last night alive…then Sookie fully intended to get her money's worth.
A/N: Hopefully I didn't take a wrong turn past "this story rocks" to "it sucks balls" lol
Like I said, I'm flying by the seat of my drawers on this one. Your thoughts/sentiments/ opinions mean the world to me, so a big fat THANK YOU is in order!
I don't know how you other writers out there do your thang, but me, I'm three sheets to a twelve pack, listening to Radiohead and Sia, burning incense, with a serious craving for nachos…hahaha…laters :)