A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for the kind reviews and responses to this, I honestly had no idea it would be such a hit. For those of you that are curious and keep mentioning it, I did state that this would be a Quinn/Santana fic and it IS. Anyway, please read and review if you get the chance. This chapter is mostly dialogue and I hope you all enjoy it!

You Think I'm Just Too Serious, I Think You're Full Of Shit

Step One: Make Quinn laugh.

Step Two: Compliment her, genuinely.

Step Three: Don't change who you are, but still be genuine. I repeat, act like a genuine bitch.

Santana grinned as Quinn let Santana lead her away from Brittany and towards the double doors. It was a smile of victory because Santana knew she was good, but she had no idea she was that good. After all, it had taken a little under a week to get Quinn to actually think she wanted a friendship.

At this rate, Santana would be in Quinn's carefully locked away pants by mid December. Which, was literally in a week and a half.

Santana laughed, suddenly feeling very accomplished as they pushed through the double doors. This was certainly going to be easy and a part of Santana was disappointed that Quinn caved so soon. After all, Santana loved a little fight here and there. It's what led her to setting Finn's shoulder pads on fire and pushing Jew Fro down a flight of stairs every now and then.

Santana was a girl built for destruction, and she enjoyed it when the things she put her sights on put up a little bit of a fight. Mostly because everything else in Lima was so easy.

Santana was caught up in her thoughts when she felt an arm tug her back towards the entrance. Santana turned around to see Quinn shaking herself from Santana's grasp, her bitch glare perfectly in place.

Santana huffed at Quinn's need to be always in charge. It hit at the most unfortunate times. "What gives, Fabray? If we get to Breadstix before noon, they'll give us half off our second order."

Quinn rolled her eyes, all friendliness gone from her features. "Now that we're away from Brittany, what do you really want?"

Santana tensed. "I want to hang out with you."

"Cut the crap Santana, you haven't wanted to hang out with me since I got you sent to the bottom of the pyramid."

Santana narrowed her eyes, irritated as always by Quinn's frankness. "Yeah, well, I'm growing. As a person and shit." Santana motioned towards her heart hoping that that would help Quinn paint a mental picture.

"I don't believe you." Quinn said, her tone accusing. "You're up to something."

"I'm not." Santana lied.

Quinn squinted, still refusing to believe Santana. "Santana. I'm going to ask you again, what are you doing?"

"Being genuine!" Santana exclaimed, not really enjoying that Quinn was basically accusing her of being the conniving bitch she was. Screw the fact that it was true, her mistrust was still hurtful.

"You are never genuine unless it involves Brittany or Breadsticks, both of which, i am not. You want something and it's fine if you want to pretend like you're actually in this to be better friends, but I know you Santana. So either you tell me what it is you really want or you agree to my terms of this deal." Quinn crossed her arms defensively and it suddenly made sense to Santana why Quinn had been so quick to "cave".

Santana snorted when the reality of the situation hit her. She turned her head away, not ready to look Quinn in the eyes yet. "God, you're such a dirty bitch."

"Don't pretend like you don't admire it." Quinn shot back.

And that's where they were left (where their relationship always left them), at a mother fucking standstill. It hits Santana now that Quinn and her were two fucked-up peas in the same crappy pod, so of course Quinn would become suspicious at Santana's flirtatious and instant presence. It occurs to her that she's been going about this thing all wrong. She should've started with something easier, something more genuine, because everything else in their friendship had already been faked, ratted out, betrayed, and screwed over. Santana needed to start fresh and she needed to start real. Especially if she expected to have Quinn at her mercy in seven months. Santana turned back towards Quinn, hating how she always kept Santana on her toes.

"It's hard not to admire the grinch when he's standing right in front of you." Santana quipped.

Quinn smirked. "Careful. That almost sounds like a compliment."

It was, it always was a compliment when she said it to Quinn. But that was neither here nor there and she would never admit that out loud, not to her one-time-friend-most-times-enemy-other-times-bitch-person. "It isn't. Go on, get on with it."

Quinn hesitated and Santana can't deny that her interest is piqued. Quinn has never faltered around her and has most certainly never let her guard down. Quinn let out a shaky breath and gestured at the building behind them "Ever since that new Spanish teacher took over, I've been having a bit of trouble. My B average in that class has slowly been declining, and well, Senor Martin has told me that unless I do well on this last project then I'm going to end the year with a C."

"How do I play into this?"

Quinn shrugged. "Well, you are Hispanic..."

Santana laughed before she could stop herself. Here she was trying to get Quinn into her well manicured hands when Quinn was practically waltzing into them of her own accord. "Oh God. You need my help, that's rich."

Quinn stood up straighter, her body tensing. "I don't need your help, I need your assistance."

"Same thing."

"No." Quinn objected, her face tinging pink. "This is a trade, my silence in whatever this scheme is that you've conjured up in that wild head of yours, for your assistance with my essay.

Santana pretended to think it over so that Quinn wouldn't grow suspicious. "Fine."

"Good." Quinn said with a nod before turning towards her left in the direction of the auditorium.

Santana reached for her arm, confused. "Wait, where are you going?"

Quinn yanked her arm out of Santana's grasp for the second time in so many minutes and Santana had to push down the urge to slap her. Again. Quinn raised an eyebrow, her face pulled into a smirk. "Did you actually think I was going to skip school for you?"

"A little bit," Santana said, feeling sheepish all of a sudden. In her defense, she had been downright swayed by the idea of breadsticks. Once hunger took over her system, Santana couldn't take credit for any of the decisions or ideas she made.

Quinn faltered and it was so apparent that Santana had to credit it a win. Sure, it was another minor one, but hey, Jesus didn't turn water into wine in a day. Or was that Moses? What the fuck, whatever, it's not like Santana actually listened when Quinn's father used to drag them all to church.

Quinn recovered quickly, her appearance swiftly changing back to cool. "Well, I'm not, and I never had plans to." Quinn added, as if that really made a fucking difference. Santana fought back the urge to hit her, because that certainly would have made a difference. "I'm heading to the auditorium to work on our new cheer. You know, the one that's gonna make us champions again."

Santana rolled her eyes. For a girl who started off as an unknown Lucy Caboosey, Quinn certainly had a lot of confidence where it mattered least. "God, you are such an evil, smug, conniving little...wait, so why did you say that all that stuff in front of Brittany then?"

Quinn softened, her smile slipping off her lips. "I'm not blind, Santana. I know...I figured this was all one giant scheme to get back at Brittany since..."

Santana didn't continue Quinn's sentence, not ready to comment on how she's such a sad sack that it's obvious to those around her, including Quinn fucking Fabray. "So you were just going to willingly participate in this illusion?

Quinn hesitated again and Santana docked that as the second time in under ten minutes. God, she was getting good at this. "No, not willingly...just, look, I met you first so..." Quinn trailed off again, her eyes looking up towards the sun in embarrassment.

"So?"

Quinn leveled her gaze until it met Santana's. "In this weird triangle, my allegiance lies with you."

Santana tried not to grimace or grin, in this moment she had to be careful. She isn't stupid enough to believe that Quinn's statement is an offer of friendship, but it was something, and Santana gets this weird feeling like things are actually changing and not because she's the one making it happen.

Overall, she thinks that it's funny that Brittany is everyones blind spot. At least for them. In a sense she helped build the camaraderie between Quinn and her, and in a sense she also helped break it apart. Santana doesn't really know what to say because she hasn't planned for this moment, not yet, she had never expected Quinn to actually be honest.

They had spent the better part of their relationship competing for everything. Quinn was like that annoying little sister who knew all of your secrets and then would blackmail you into getting everything they ever wanted. She was like that, except with everyone, and it was aggravating.

Still, she was honest, so Santana owed her the same in return. "You've always been heroically loyal where it matters." She's talking about more than just cheerios or how Quinn kept her secret thing with Brittany an actual, well, secret. She's also talking about Glee Club and what Quinn sacrificed for them. But because it's her and Quinn, Santana refuses to say it out loud. She's not a sap or a loser and she doesn't do feelings, she only does revenge.

"Yeah." Quinn agrees, and it hits Santana on more than one level.

Santana wants to end it at that because she feels likes she's been too honest. It makes her feel dirty in a way that lying never could. She honestly just wants to go home and scrub herself clean, just like she did after Brittany made her watch Queer as Folk that one time. Santana wants to end it because she can only really handle Quinn Fabray in small doses. She can't handle looking at her pretty face and her small perfect boobs and her short cheerio skirt that was always more tantalizing than Santana's, no matter how many times she would secretly hem hers shorter.

But she has a plan and she needs to stick with it, especially if she wants to get back at the girl who ruined some of the best parts of her life.

"Wait." Santana calls out when Quinn starts walking away again. "Can I come with you?"

"Why?"

"Because we're fucking friends and I'm not going to go eat at an all you can eat lunch buffet at Breadstix by myself. I'm not that fucking lonely or in that much of a whale shark mood." Santana spits out, and it doesn't look like Quinn is buying it so she changes tactics. "Plus, I could use a little work on the last half. Coach says I'm a little sloppy." Santana lied, again, hoping Quinn would buy it.

"I've noticed."

Santana has to hold her breath because she wants to hit Quinn again. It's almost like this whole conversation never happened, like they just went back to how they were earlier when Santana had to physically restrain herself from choking a bitch out.

If this was what being friends with Quinn Fabray was like, then Santana was in for a long, bumpy, crazy ass ride.