A/N Disclaimer – Charlaine Harris owns these sheep, I'm just putting them out to pasture.

Chapter 3

I had to grudgingly admit that this little creature before me just oozed sex. Her curves were voluptuously ripe, her lips just the right side of 'bee stung' and her baby blue eyes glowed with a blend of interest, excitement, desire and best of all, innocence. I had no idea what bond she and Lafayette had formed in those hours squashed together in that inhumane mode of transport, but he seemed very taken with her, almost bewitched. My curiosity was piqued. To say that women normally held little interest for Lafayette was painfully understating the issue, so Little Miss Sunshine here was worth closer inspection... much closer.

"Drink with me." I motioned her towards the bar and nodded at the new bartender. This one was good, but I wondered how much longer we'd be able to keep her; the place never seemed to have much luck with bar staff, but new ones always had a habit of appearing just when you needed them.

"Thank you, but I should just wait for Lafayette," she replied awkwardly. Bless her, she thought I was trying to flirt with her.

Wonderful! This was going to be fun.

Pamela! Not for you!My mind shouted at me. Pah!

"It wasn't a request. You won't see him for the rest of the evening, he's lost in Latino Boy over there, he'll be back tomorrow." I turned to the bar tender. "My usual, twice, make them large."

I looked back at Sookie and quickly reassessed her. "Make that one large and one medium... No, make that medium a small." There was something about Sookie that suggested that not only was she not a big drinker, but that getting her drunk might be a big mistake if I wanted her to feel at ease.

With two glasses in hand I led her to my booth where we would be able to hear each other without having to scream our lungs to shreds. A couple of young lovers were enjoying the privacy in a rather non-platonic way. "Move!" I barked. One of the two boys, and they weren't much older than boys, turned with a scowl and ready with a rebuke, but after he saw it was me wielding the eviction notice, he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and fled to find another corner to continue their dalliance.

"Do you own this place?" Sookie asked me, having taken note of people's reactions to me.

"Let's just say I keep an eye on it."

I handed her the smaller of the two glasses, and, with a delicious southern drawl, she thanked me. Now if you'd been in my shoes, my divine Fluevog Listen Ups to be more precise, you would have had a hard time not playing with this sumptuous little mouse too, watching her scurry and freeze at opportune moments; it was positively heavenly. But, alas, Lafayette had brought her for other reasons, and I had to behave. Shame!

I can be nice when nice is called for, honestly, no, really, I can.

.-oOSOo-.

When Lafayette woke me from my nap earlier that evening he'd suggested I wear something comfortable but fun. I was tempted by a cotton summer dress (I'd brought a couple with me because I just love wearing them), but settled for white tennis shoes, jeans and a cute buttercup yellow tee that complemented my tan. He took me on the London Underground, which was quite an adventure in itself; I'd heard much about metro systems, but had never been on one. The map I picked up from the station looked more like a neat drawing of brightly colored worms to me; it seemed so simple, and kind of fun. We had to change lines, which seemed to involve miles of escalators, tunneled walkways and steps. I was so glad I had a guide, I was sure I would have lost myself in that underground maze forever if I had ventured forth on my own!

The bar was called "The Gay-sher Bar" (what kind of person finds puns funny?) and all the staff were dressed in kimonos. Not beautiful, printed silk kimonos like you see in films, but long, brightly-colored PVC ones, which just seemed wrong to me, with corsets instead of those big thick belts real geishas wear. I was beginning to feel out of my depth. After a while of talking together, Lafayette vanished, and I was left there, alone. The sudden realization of my situation hit me and the idea of being on my own in a strange country, with all my luggage in a place I couldn't get back to caused me to mentally slap myself. After standing by myself in a crowded room for ten minutes, staring at my feet to avoid stray glances from women who were definitely not interested in men, I tried closing my eyes and clicking my heels together three times and chanting to myself: There's no place like home! There's no place like home!

I opened my eyes and nothing had changed (well it had worked for Dorothy!), which was probably for the best; this holiday had cost my friends and family a lot of money, I had to do them justice by enjoying myself. I decided that it was time to quit my own private pity party and make the most of my time there. I lifted my head, smiled a slightly crazy smile and caught the eye of a stunningly beautiful blonde woman.

Lafayette came back to introduce her to me, and then vanished again so quickly I could almost see a puff of smoke. That was the last I was going to see of him for the night apparently.

Pam was marginally taller than I was with a slender frame and perfect hair and nails, but her air of superiority made me feel two-foot small. She was dressed in one of those lovely satin Chinese collar dresses that hugged her in such a way that it must have been made for her. I had tried a few of them on in the past when I'd seen them in TJ Maxx, but they were always too tight around the hips or bust, or too saggy around the waist, or the opening to the neck – you know that diagonal cut with the knotted buttons across it, that gapes and shows more breast and bra than is decent. You had to be either a man or a stick for the off the peg dresses to work, and Pam was definitely neither.

She made a young and enthusiastic male couple move from a booth and insisted that we got "a little friendlier"; thank goodness she meant in a friends way, rather than a more-than-friends way. Despite her austere (January 15th, Word of the Day from my calendar) demeanor (May 3rd), Pam was actually real nice in a strange kind of way. She seemed sarcastic and snippy, but at the same time quite warm and caring, a very playful mix that just made me want to play right back. We talked for a spell about London, my trip and the flight over with Lafayette (and his insistence that the male air steward was interested in serving him more than just drinks), the bar, shopping... Between the jetlag and the additional drink she ordered for me (by looking at the bar and snapping her fingers) my eyelids started to get quite heavy.

I tried so hard to keep my eyes open. What was I going do? Lafayette had vanished, I had no idea where I was meant to be staying, and I was fairly sure he hadn't left me with a key! Pam seemed nice enough, but did I really want to throw myself on her mercy for the night? Sure, Lafayette had said she was 'safe', but I'd already relied on Lafayette too much and look where it had got me.

As I considered my lack of options the noise in the bar drifted further and further away, the lights dimmed, and my world went black and silent.

.-oOPOo-.

Welcome to Ravenscroft Babysitting Service, don't hesitate to call Pam for all your babysitting needs. Thanks to Lafayette I now had to get this little sleeping Southern Belle home too. Joy!

The benefit of being me is being able to call on others to do your bidding. It's fantastic, really it is, you should try it! I had the bar staff order a cab then collared a willing butch regular who was without a Mr Right-Now for that second and had him carry Sookie out to the cab and travel with us so he could do my fetching and carrying the other end too. I pride myself in being stronger than I look, but I wasn't going to risk trying to man-handle her while wearing these heels, what do you take me for? Twisting my ankle is one thing, the pain goes away, but looking like a twat while I ruin beautiful shoes... the shame lasts a life time! I opened the door to the flat and directed him to the larger of the two spare rooms where he dropped her on the bed. I gave him enough for the cab ride back to the bar and shooed him out the door.

Oh, did I fail to mention she and Lafayette were staying with me? Where did you think they were staying? He's one of my favourite bitches; I insist he stays with me when he's in London because he insists on cooking wherever he stays! Have you tasted his lobster? WOW!

I admit I was half tempted to rummage in her luggage with the excuse of finding some night-clothes – curiosity has been known to be a weakness of mine, you never know what you might discover about someone – unfortunately for me she had already laid pyjamas out on the bed. So she was organised, huh – a good trait, one he values. I undressed her and put her in her pyjamas. Of course I got a good look, a girl needs something warm to take to bed with her, even if it's just mental images of the deliciousness sleeping one wall away.

A/N – Okay, yes, I know, I'm sorry! He was going to be in Chapter 3, but then it got too long and he couldn't wait around, so he insisted I chopped it in two and said he'd pop in for Chapter 4 (which was the second half of chapter 3)... honestly, I promise you he's there....

Pam mentions her shoes, Fluevog Listen Ups, Fluevog is the make, Listen Up is the type of sole, not the style of the shoe itself – which style she was wearing is something I'll let you decide for yourself. They do have a website, feel free to look them up, but don't blame me if you discover a new addiction!

If you've noticed that my spelling changes from English (U.K) to English (U.S.) from time to time... hopefully this only happens when I intend it to. I'm probably trying to be too clever, but the spelling changes depending on who's PoV it is... Pam's English, Sookie's not... See?