The Simpson's: In Space: Season 2: Episode 1:War of Judgment: Part 3
Rockets fly pass my head, as we advance on The Somites resistance is increasing, from the scattered pieces of metal, and several Telkine, Njord, Quetzal, and various other aliens lying in pain, or dead. That The Fellowship DID get here before us… which explains the giant hole where the main entrance was. (I'm amazed that nobody bothered to point that out sooner.)
A damaged Tal'dar-Sigmar Tomb walker was firing its weapons in defiance of its damage, within a few minutes we annihilated the entire Somite Platoon. (at one point I even beat a Dwarf Colossus to death with my bare hands, a walker not unlike a Tal'dar-Sigmar walker in that it's pilot is integrated near death)
"Hmm… in all my long years, I thought I'd never be glad to see humans come to my rescue. In the old days it was the other way around. And they'd never even say thank you." Said a Telkine commander that was grasping at his side, best I can remember from The Massacre of Ashla, it was Thel Andúril, and his Novus Zaar Lrack was slumped next to a blasted Tomb Walker leg.
"Had some trouble with The Somites?" I asked sarcastically. "Spare me your prattle Spartan. We were ambushed, several fine warriors fell from the enemies' cowardice tactics, and three Tomb Walkers were damaged from the Anti-Armor weapons." He explained.
"Damaged nothing," said one of the Tal'dar walkers, "I was barely scratched by those pitiful whelps." Two of its legs were blown off, but that did not stop it from standing up. (Rather clumsily)
"Pitiful yes, weak, they do their best." Said an old voice from behind me, it was… it was Master Chief, Verdun-936, war master of The Spartan's, hero of The Orion Civil war, and bane of a thousand legions. "Do not take their… humorously primitive hardware with arrogance, or you could find yourself on the wings of your Seraphim without a whimper sooner then you know." He went on.
"Tyler? What do you have to report?" He asked me. "Well, it's pretty strait forward sir. We've destroyed the Som-" "That is obvious enough, but I must ask. What did you do BEFORE you actually went inside of here?" He said, as Andúril limped back to his Novus. Then, Seth Elysium, Knara, The New Mars Brothers, (that's my little nickname for Knara's foster brother and his friends) Daavas Majiac, and a Telkine in a War Skin, carrying a what looked Seraph Ashla, (or at least I think that was her) EMIR-12 without his legs, and another Telkine, but he looked heavily injured. They called out loudly, which drew Verdun's attention.
"What is this?" He asked me. "Please tell me you didn't send children to infiltrate?" "No, I sent them ahead to kill the Snaipmyloians." I answer-… by The Unknown Soldiers, please tell me I didn't say that out loud. "I expected better from you. I was even thinking about giving you your old rank of Commander back, in spite of your… fling with the late, Zolp Sal-Lrack." "Do not speak ill of my aunt!" Squawked Zaar. "Um… did any of you find-"
"No, we did not." Knara said before I could fully ask my question. "We've been fighting our way back here since we caught up with Elysium and Majiac." "Oh… wait, where's Bart and Lisa?" I asked, noticing that neither of The Simpson children where with them. "We… we lost them… also Seraph and Kyl of The Grey Vanguard were both heavily injured."
"GET THE VANGUARD TO AN APOTHICARY!" Shouted Andúril, as a pair of Shirans (humanoid aliens that are roughly the size of human children, renowned for their bravery, commendable appetite, and big hairy feet) in white robes dragged off Kyl. I may not be a medic, but I think you have to stop the bleeding BEFORE you drag your patient on the ground.
"N-n-n-n-n-eed… alloys." Said the heavily injured Seraph, her free hand touched the armor of a fallen Mrymadon. It disappeared into her hand, and then parts of her body began to grow back. Slowly,… unsettlingly graphic.
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Ugh… I just had the weirdest dream. Lisa and I were kidnapped by some kind of armored chick, and then we were both suspended upside-down in some kind anti-gravity cage. Then Lisa was randomly hacked by some guy with a big sword, (either a claymore, or some other kind of long sword) only for those parts to grow ba-… no… wait… that wasn't a dream.
I regained consciousness, realizing that those two armored guys… oh what were their names? Ersa, and Anehta? Or maybe something like that. Anyway, they, and several of those Somite Myrmidons with big robotic claws coming out of their backs. (I think there… Tech Myrmidons? Or Tech Oracles? Well tech something!) Were fiddling around with some kind of giant satellite thing.
The one with the big sword, (Who for conveniences sake, I'm going to assume is Ersa) came towards us. "Good, you're finally awake." He said, he was wearing a big horned helmet, and really, really, really, REALLY (like darker than regular black) dark armor. "Sister! One of the Manathemaian'ashan's has awakened!" He shouted, a golden armored figure (which judging by the obvious boobs is probably Anehta) approached me.
"It is nice that you have finally awoken, I was starting to get bored with the others." She said. "This brings to mind a very interesting question, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER?" I shouted she then slapped me across the face. "Oh, she is fine. Despite the fact that my brother has been hacking random body parts off of her."
"Now as much as we would like to detain you, we have to test the communications device that we've been making since we made planet fall. We either die here, or we get our hides off of this wretched world." Said Ersa, he, his sister, and those guys with the robot claws left with the satellite thing.
I looked around the room frantically. No guards, no (obvious) security measures, you'd think Space-Nazi's would know better than to leave a prisoner alone. But then again… this 'being hung upside down in an anti-gravity beam' junk is making me dizzy, and.
Wait… is that a Telkine in the corner? "Hey, hey psst." Either he was ignoring me, or he couldn't hear me.
"What do you want of me? Human?" He was listening, now if I could just get him to destroy my- "I would if I could, but." He held up his hands, showing a pair of chains around his wrists. "Let's just say that those Somites spared no expense in keeping their prisoners." Before we could continue four other Telkine burst into the room.
"There's The Emperor!" One of them shouted, that guy's an Emperor?… meh, they'll probably dozens of those guys running wild in this galaxy in two or three years anyway. "Uh… little help here?"
Then one of them blew up the generator of the anti-gravity beam. "Aiur? Aiur can you stand up?" Said one of the aliens, the Telkine tried to stand up, but judging by the blood all over his legs that won't be happening anytime so, dizzy from being suspended, I wondered off into a hallway, where I saw those two Somites dragging my unconscious sister on the floor. I then remembered that back pack thing Seraph gave me before we left the base. She didn't tell me what it was but she said that I would like it. I whistled sharply, attracting Snapy-Lions, Snack-loans, Sna… Greek god parodies and their Tech people.
"Hey!" A pair of small buttons popped out of the sides of the pack. "Say hello to my little friend!" I pressed down on the buttons. Then… I was gradually being enveloped by steel and various pieces of electronics… in other words. Seraph gave me a really big battle suit.
"Hello, and welcome to The United Federation of Orion Marine Corp: Goliath XP-93 Prototype battle walker." What the? Why does this thing sound like Jon Lovitz? "I am the training AI, you may call me Uncle Sherman." Oh no… I hate these things so much! They suck the fun out of everything. "Yeah, yeah, yeah Sheila, now can you at least tell me how to kill things with this?"
"That is why I am here." Wonderful, this stupid tutorial bot won't even let me use the legs. At least this thing seems to be bullet proof, those Tech Myrmidons are stupefying persistent. Now if I could just get this out of the way soon enough that I can catch up to Lisa.
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My vision is blurred, I remember… I remember some kind of a word… my name is Lisa. I can't remember much else; I am being dragged hastily by a pair of steel beings. Four other beings are carrying a large device. 'What is going on? Who are they? Who am I really? What am I doing here? Are my legs supposed to look like that? Is something burning?'
Before my train of thought could continue, I heard a loud explosion that undid my stupor, my eyes shot wide open, as I saw one of the armored figures fly through a window with a loud crash. Then a large dark blue being came down the hall way. Cyran eyes glowing, that filled me with an odd sense of menace.
"Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of war!" Bellowed the steel Colossus, as blots of blue light began to fire wildly out its hands. "Drop her, and I will grant you both a quick and relatively painless death." It stated as its fire began to knock over various pieces of pottery and sculptures.
"I'll hold it back! Get that transmission device to the roof!" Shouted the black armored being, as he charged towards the blue being with a huge sword, my captures dropped me, and ran away… at a very slow pace, still carrying that enormous device.
The blue being threw the black armored one over the railing. It then approached as the armored being crashed with a loud thud. I was startled by the sight of the Cyran eyed giant, its feet leaving large indents in the floor. "Lisa, are you alright?" It knew my name? "How do you know my name?" I asked, shaking with terror. "What? Lisa I'm your brother, don't you remember?" I have a brother? A brother who's a giant robot of some kind?
"I'm sorry… but all I can really remember is- GAAAH!-a whole lot of pain." I said, rubbing the back of my head, there was a scar at the back. I could faintly remember one of those beings rending some kind of sharp device over my head.
"Hmm… Lisa, you are a mighty warrior of The Serpent Kings of Gagxarock. My name is Khan Tiki-Tiki; we have both come to this world, Metropoli Major, or M&M for the sake of not repeating a really big word over and over again." This, this doesn't sound right, me a warrior? Best I can remember I don't even like fighting. But I am getting these flashes of biting into peoples necks. So some of it must be true, I was going to go along with Khan because he might know more about what's going on here than me.
"Those beings that captured you are Somites, off shoots of the human race, and are very, very, VERY anti-social. We have come to this world to ensure that they cannot conquer the entire galaxy. Do you understand?"
"I-… I think so. But what should I do?" He then grabbed my second set of arms, (which I don't really remember having in the first place) and squeezed them. A green goop like substance came out of them and shot up at the ceiling.
"Use that, and if your too close to your opponents for that to be safe. Disembowel them with your claws" He explained, for some reason the word, 'disembowel' made me feel uncomfortable. But couldn't I just talk to them? "Be warned however, they will ignore any attempts at reasoning with. Just trust me on that one, it is not worth the mind numbing pain that comes with it." How did he know I was thinking that?
Before anything could be said. The Somites sword plunged through the floor. "WHAT THE! Lisa get out of here!"
"But Khan-!" "This is no time for arguing!" He said as the armored being burst up from the floor. "Just RUN!And if you feel like killing any Somites that would be helpful!" He said, as he charged into the being with his right shoulder.
In panic, I jumped into the ventilation shaft. I then began to scurry through them, I had no idea where I was going, but it has to be better than that mess. However something didn't add up, I remember having a brother. What was his name? Bort? Or something like that? And I think my last name was… Thompson? I think, I don't know, my head is hurting, and why do I have this odd craving for blood?
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"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. MY. SISTER!" I shouted as I drove Ersa into a wall. Half of me was hoping that this was going to end quickly, but the other half was hoping that this guy would live just long enough to tell me what I want to know.
"Anehta was simply experimenting on The Tainted One. Seeing as to what it was composed of. Seeing what could have been incorporated into The Somite Deus Genome." He explained I didn't care WHAT his reasons were for hacking my mutated sister repeatedly, thereby causing her to get amnesia.
I didn't want to hear another word of that idiot. So I just tore off his helmet and… what the?-… he looks exactly like ME! Spiky blond hair, bright blue eyes, he's even got that really big mole I found on my chin when puberty first hit. "I will not be defeated by THE LIKES OF YOU!" He said as he pounced on me, causing the two of us to fall out of a window overlooking the main chamber of The Museum.
We and the men that were directly beneath us were crushed by several tons of rubble. I was relatively unharmed by this, both Orion and Fellowship seemingly disappeared, but Ersa was lying on his back with blood seeping out of his mouth.
This gruesome sight made me nauseous. But I ignored that feeling in order to do what had to be done. (Which I always did during my freshman year, only reason I survived that year without going COMPLETELY INSANE) I grabbed his enormous sword and-. "You look like you are about to execute an arch-villain. Would you like a suggestion of cool one-liners?" Grrrr! That stupid AI! If I didn't know any better I'd say the only reason Seraph gave me this thing was because of the annoying little AI that goes off every few seconds.
So, without saying any sort of cool catchphrases or one-liners, I plunged the sword through Ersa's chest, there was then a blinding explosion coming directly from his corpse.
"DANGER! DANGER! VISUAL SENSORS ARE OVERLOADING! Would you like for the visual sensors turned off?" This has been quite a day.
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"Ow!" I said as I fell out of the vents, a cold hard floor breaking my floor. A rib cracks, but it heals too quickly for it to matter. I run down a barren hallway smashing the steel door into splinters. What I see is beyond words.
Skyscrapers reaching into the sky, red wings beating relentlessly against the sky, and that golden armored being that dragging me on the floor before I met my brother. "What the! What are you doing up here?" She demanded. "It matters not, you shall fall before the blades of Anehta!" She said as she drew a pair of silver swords, her bodyguards then opened fire on me.
She then dove both of the swords through my abdomen. Rage surged through my body as I drove my huge claw like arms through her in turn. My anger seceded as I tore her helmet off… she looked exactly like ME! Though I don't remember having hair, it looks like some kind of starfish or something.
"Kill me or release me, vermin. Nodiesop and his ships are coming for this world. Either way, you and this world will die!" I didn't know what she was talking about, but my stomach began to growl loudly. Then, I involuntarily drove my fangs into her neck. Ironically I was getting lightheaded from drinking her blood, my wings then began to engulf the two of us as Anehta's bodyguards began firing their weapons at me.
My name is Lisa Simpson, and I will put my brother Bart into a world of hurt for trying to tell me something as stupid as our last name being Tiki-Tiki, that and trying to convince me that I'm the service of "The Serpent Kings of Gagxarock."
There is a bright light coming out of Anehta, knowing my luck this probably going to end badly.
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"Is everyone all right?" I asked as the blinding light finally stopped shining. "I am fine. My armor largely broke my fall." My daughter, Knara answered. "I've had worse," answered Seth Elysium.
Everyone else who abruptly fell through the floor of the main museum chamber called in all right, in spite of the fact that my stuv'en Zaar had a wounded shoulder, and my Maim'ashan had two of her legs shot off from earlier. Tyler, Bjorn and there men were also unharmed.
A rejuvenated Seraph Ashla stood up with her Parl'vas, Daavas Majiac. "They are dead, both of them." She said ominously. Was she speaking of The Simpson children, or The Snaipmyloians that came here? Suddenly a huge android feel through the rubble that was blocking the hole that was made by our fall.
And as a consequence it directly on top of Bjorn, don't know why The Spartan didn't bother to help. "My back, I can't tell if it is mine or this stupid suit." Said the titanium colossus as it got off of the Dread Wolf Commander.
Several minutes passed as everyone that was in the museums basement began arguing as to what was happening at that specific moment. "This is Tyrana to Andúril come in?" I heard over my Vaa'Spee unit. "Yes I can hear you!" I said, plugging two of the ears on the left side of my head to keep out the noise.
"We saw two bright flashes coming from The P-Triple-M. Did you manage to slay either Ersa or Anehta?" He asked in excitement. "I am sorry, but it seems that Ba- I mean an Orion Human of no real significance, while wearing an experimental battle suit slew the false war god.-"
"WHAT! You let a human slay the blag'fadar wretch?" Tyrana yelled back at me. "I didn't even know he was alive turvack!" I answered back. "Is The Emporer alive at least? I really want to give him a piece of my mind for trying to slay those two alone."
"I wouldn't know, the only members of The Grey Vanguard we've encountered thus far were Hato'dik and Kyl, and Kyl was severally injured by Somite fire." I explained. "Look, while I'm still not too angry, who was the bane of Anehta? She is not as important as her brother but the death of every Snaipmyloian is important to stopping The Somites."
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"Come on. Come on!" I said pressing down on the communications button my armchair repeatedly. "Grunchy can you get through to Tyler?" I asked my diminutive alien second in command. "No, for some reason he won't answer my hails."
"Attention everyone!" Shouted Admiral Tanto over the com system. "Somite ships are entering the system, brace for combat!" Then without warning, thousands upon thousands of ships entered the system.
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A/N: Warning: Due to frustration with getting on with this story. I'm simply going to outline what's going to happen for the rest of this stupid Somites story arc.
Grand Admiral Edgar orders Bethany's Fleet to invade Soma; she protests but prepares to leave The M&M system anyway. During the chaos The Sinbad destroys several hundred Somite ships due to a complicated mix of the ship firing every weapon system at once, Homer's reckless and panic filled flying through The Somite Fleet, and Grunchy's quick witted flying while Homer was in fact stone drunk. (Consequently Homer also learned that people in the future call Uranus, Uranidiot instead of Urectum like he thought they did)
In defiance of his wounds, the protests of the remaining members of The Grey Vanguard, his yeoman, his communications officer Vaj Blas'er, his ships chief of engineering Scaw'tii, and his personal Apothecary, Minas Aiur went onboard his flagship, The Twilights Wrath. (or what was left of it from Gol-Gor Oth's viscous attack on it) And then shoved the bow of his ship strait through the hull of The Immortal Shark, the Flagship of Nodiesop, Snaipmyloian Overlord of The Somite Naval Forces. And after exposing him to The FENRIS virus, was brutally executed by The Twilight Emperor himself. After that, he recovers The Grey Heart from Ersa's remains, (the exact same artifact that he and Omrpha Tyrana schemed to recover since The Massacre of Ashla) however due to the extensive damage inflicted on his flagship, it is forced to return to Telchine via a makeshift Star Gate made from several smaller dreadnaughts in order to get necessary repairs.
The Simpson children, and the OC's (Thel Knara, Seth Elysium, Thel Tsaritsyn, Rahpo Ein-he'rjar R'lyeh and Ocihc Muloc-Sbu, Seraph Ashla, Daavas Majiac, Verdun-936, Tyler-700, a severally wounded Bjorn, and EMIR-12) are rescued by a seemingly random, yet too convenient to argue with, UFO drop ship that took them all back to The Sinbad.
On The Twilights Wrath, Kyl of The Grey Vanguard was entombed into a Tal'dar-Sigmar Walker after it was determined that he was too grievously wounded to be properly healed.
Thel Andúril, and his stuv'en Zaar Lrack. Latter meet up with Ormpha Tyrana, and his Brood Mate, Thel Aon. He was quickly lambasted by his old friend for failing to kill either Ersa or Anehta before Bart and Lisa did. But in spite of what Tyrana said was his mentors 'most embarrassing failure since the Fall of Sera Nova." He gave him command of his own Fleet, The Fleet of Bittersweet Triumph, even though he and his stuv'en were still officially classified by The Fellowship's, Counsel of Corralling Liabilities as Insog-Lyyn'tahvin's. (minor heretics) Despite this, he was allowed to keep the remaining Clone Marines that were under his command as a Lukus Templar. This proves to be a major deterrent to the current members of The Fleet. (Syg-Nun Ein-he'rjar R'lyeh, G'jur Shak-Ur'enothas, and Helmsman Mono Opticus among others) Andúril reorganizes his Clone Marines into The Kvna Juuur-H'a. (Wretched Champions)
Marge Simpson demanded that her husband and family be excused from the upcoming invasion of Soma. But Admiral Tanto shot down her order. Mainly because she needed her entire Ninth Star Legion in order to fully pacify The Somites, Bart would have served as a powerful psychological weapon considering that he slew the most feared of their gods, as for Lisa… the most she could say was that The Federal Board of Advanced Weapons research was… interested in her abilities as an Ub-Viper Serp'feratu. But went along with Marge's request anyway, (mainly because she was getting tired of Marge's shrill nagging over the past week) and aloud the Simpson children, Knara, Seth, Tsaritsyn, his friends, and EMIR-12 to return to Earth. Due to the highly sensitive Somite data that she took from Arodnap, Seraph was forced to remain onboard, much to the chagrin of EMIR-12, and Daavas who on request from Serapg also remained aboard.
Realizing that the Butchering of Metropoli Major was over, Rakata Armageddon ordered Gol-Gor Oth, and Rakata Chronus to leave the planet for an ice world in a Wilderness Sector, deep within the largely unknown 1a New Outer arm. After all of the obvious signs of demonic invasion left the planet, Armageddon returned to his alias as Maccabeus Thermopylae. And was greeted by his fellow Alliance Politicians, including a big hug from Stan Tartarus, and his secret wife Rhea Aeryn, everyone completely unaware that there President was a ruthless, and psychotic monster, and older then he really looked.
Kaos and Chon were playing scrabble, both of them were undecided as too whether or not Telkine words (such as Qzybuk: a problem that defies any sort of sanity or logic. Or Khar'gara: A slang term for species whose homeworlds were destroyed at some point in the past or simply the known population of those species was simply exiles from said planet) were nouns, verbs, adjectives, pronouns, adverbs etc. Or how many points such words were worth, and both of them are too busy to really notice what's going on in their operations to take over the galaxy. And consequently killed each other at least forty or so times arguing over the whole thing. Mr. Burns is slowly driving The Wrath of Kaos into the ground. In due part the temporary peace treaty between The WOK and the Allied Races, his own eccentric personality, and his degrading sanity due to a lack of necessary prescriptions. Lith'mar, her mate Malthius, Admiral Bob "Sideshow Bob" Terwiliger, Mr. Smithers and the original crew of The Yodeling Walrus, are concerned that he may leave The WOK open for attack. So they begin to, A) Implement an arms build-up before The December Truce expires, and B) Implement a coup to remove Burns from power before he does something REALLY stupid. (Not as stupid as singing. "Somewhere over The Rainbow", off key over The Triumphant Brigadier's com system. But somewhere within that general vicinity of weird)
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"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"NO! WE ARE NOT AT SOMA YET! WILL YOU STOP BUGGING ME! I NEED A DRINK! OR AT LEAST SOME HUMAN MEDICAL EQUIPMENT! SOME ETHER WOULD DO! ANYTHING THAT CAN DROWN OUT YOUR WHINING!" Whined my Dadaban second-in-command, as I asked him about our status to getting to Soma. He then began to pant in that cute little squeaky sound that I love so much. "Considering we dropped off your family on Earth. Excluding The Twi'grutan's, That put a severe cramp on our schedule. So by the time we get there it might be too late to do much anyway. Or before they even get there, you never know how unpredictable and (at times) unreliable these human Q-drives are."
I could have sworn I heard part of That Rick'Roll music from Youtube when he said that. (You know, that song that's always part of some kind of fake video or something?)
Then the ship began to rock as we finally exited Q-space. "WooHoo, does that were there?"
"Yes, yes it does!" Grunchy answered excitedly, we saw the Entire Ninth Star Legion over a silvery colored planet. Oddly enough it looked that M&M world we spent the last week on. Although personally I think that's false advertising, five long days on that planet and nobody found any M&M's! Can't believe it never accord to me, but then again this is ME were talking about.
Anyway, I ordered Grunchy to contact The Katana. But all I got was the answering machine. I then ordered Grunchy to contact The Admiral herself; turns out she was planet side. "Homer! Glad that you got here." She answered. "We've made planet fall, and The Somites are on the run! Personally I'm a little disappointed, I mean we could have taken these monsters on two-hundred years ago and won!"
"GAH! Sorry Admiral, but I'm seeing some REALLY bright lights here!" I said shielding my eyes; a silver-ish light was glowing brightly in the distance. Then several more went off.
"Yes, yes I can see from down here." Said Bethany. "We have arrived, and it is now that we perform our Charge." A deep voice echoed over the coms, it sounds like one of those Space Marine things, from that nerd game with the forty karat golden hammer and the plastic action figures.
"In fealty to Iam (he who forever's mourns the Mortal Follies) and by the grace of The Revena-Uaalk'ashan, and by the will of The Twilight Emperor. We of The Fleet of Bittersweet Triumph, hereby proclaim Exterminatus on The Heretic World of Soma." Say, that sounds like something else from those golden marines-… wait a minute?… doesn't that mean they're going to?… aren't we already doing this anyway?
"We hereby lay low an entire world, and consign a billion souls to The Bowels of The Darklord, may The Divine Justice of The Seraphim account for all who sought our deaths. Let none fine us wanting."
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"Admiral Tanto! Plasma Barrage incoming!" Yelled my Atlantean second in command Yithurana, as The Fellowship cruisers unleashed their weapons on the surface of the planet, Pillars of silver light adorning the sky, for some reason plasma always gave me an odd headache. Even if that is a recent occurrence, "Kam-Ten-Ata, try to make contact with The Telkine flagship!" I ordered.
"Turvack!" He swore. "Do you even know how hard it is to contact Fellowship ships? They randomly change their com frequencies every ten minutes! And that's just the wee little ships!" Yith's brother ranted as the Telkines weapons defined the sky. "A big ship like that dozy changes it's com channel WAY TOO FAST TO PROPERLY CONTACT THEM!"
I'm well aware of The Fellowships paranoid security systems. But he wasn't complaining about cracking Fellowship communications when we dealt with The Fleet of The Martyrs' Dirge. "You weren't complaining about The Fellowships bewildering and paranoid security systems over Orpheus II." I said paraphrasing my thoughts out loud.
"Yes, well we didn't have these Planet Killers going off at the time now were they?" He argued, he was right however, at the time we were onboard the bridge of The Katana, not being bombarded by these demented Wyverns. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
"Try to contact them anyway!" I ordered as another volley of plasma fire struck the planet. I heard legends that Fellowship Doom Pillars (their name for the plasma bombardments) left smoldering heaps of glass wherever they were fired. Considering that this is primarily a city world it makes sense that no such things are appearing, just massive pits of molten steel that probably stretch down into the planets undercity.
"No Admiral, I will speak to The Fleet Master myself." Said a Spartan standing over the hastily assembled tent, not any ordinary Spartan, during the confusion and chaos of The Ninth Star Legion pulling out of M&M, Verdun-936 was transferred to my command. In other words, I was given command of the most feared human being in the entire galaxy, and to a lesser extent the foster father of my best friend, current President of the United Federation of Orion, Catherine Oranos.
"What?" I asked in confusion. "All of the shuttles are grounded while those things are burning the planet!" I explained. "I know my dear, but during the weeks after The Massacre of Ashla. My armor was modified with experimental reverse engineered Somite tech, the most obvious example being The Somite teleporter's." I had heard that The Somite's technology had been reversed engineer from what was recovered after the Civil War. But most of that was too damaged to be of real value, the rest was recovered from destroyed ships and other Somite equipment found on Ashla.
He then pressed several buttons on his gauntlets. "Assuming you survive this, you may have a few questions for my daughter." And then he disappeared in a bright light. "Wait… aren't there normally EMP shockwaves from those things?" I asked as I point at a Doom Pillar, just then a shockwave ring emanated from the-01010111 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100111 01010011 00100000 01000111 01001111 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01001111 01001110 00100000 01001000 01000101 01010010 01000101 00100001 00111111 00100000 01010111 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100000 01000100 01001111 01000101 01010011 00100000 01000011 01000001 01010100 01001000 01000101 01010010 01001001 01001110 01000101 00100000 01001011 01001110 01001111 01010111 00100000 01000001 01000010 01001111 01010101 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00100001 00111111-ERROR ERROR: IMMEDIATE REBOOT REQUIRED.
A/N: Alright, assuming anybody is going to comment about THE entire space upwards in the bold text. I've been doing this 'Somites' junk for over a year now, and for anyone who's been reading The Simpson's: In Space since Season 1. (or The Pilot episode for that matter) Know about this, originally this whole thing was a badly thought out attempt at a God of War parody. But after several months trying to bring it to this point…
I JUST WANT IT TOO END! I have better things planned for this then bad guys that are just obvious parodies of figures from Greek Mythology. And also, as I wrote this I began to have a slightly less cynical outlook on mankind (it's amazing what a move and a two month long hiatus on this can do for you). I began to make the humans in this story far more sympathetic… or at least I think I have.
In any case, after a brief epilogue, complete with an obvious title drop, I should be able to get this fic rolling along to better things… and before I forget to say, give the main Simpsons characters a more major part in this then simply random cameos, and noodle incidents that have little to know baring on the main plot… I'm not making any promises, I'm just explaining what I MIGHT do, not what I will do.