AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for all your support and for everyone who reads this fic! Should I apologize for a delay? Nah…just keep on writing.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own.
Tokyo J-Pop
Rei Sings the Best
"Misato! Oi Misato…where do you want me to put this?" Hefting Hyuga's customized audio equalizer in his hands, Shinji's head vainly peaked behind the monstrously oversized equipment.
Growling as instruction pamphlets for her drum sets littered the stage, Misato glared at him, "How the hell should I know where techie wants his crap? Figure it out Shinji…Rod A into slot A(1) place screw through holes…Rod A? This thing doesn't even have a hole!"
Sighing, Shinji rolled his eyes. With the practice recital coming up in two days, his life had been alternating between endless practice, and endless moving. Since both the techies and Misato had complained of losing all their customized equipment, they had been responsible for manually moving everything to Rei's personal auditorium. Which meant he was getting hernia, and by god, he was not going to cough.
Setting the bulky mess on the stage, he wiped his brow and hoped onto the lacquered wood floor. He picked up the clipboard he had placed on the second speaker and ticked off another box. "Well…the good news is that that's the last piece of equipment we have to carry up."
Misato bit on the pen she was nervously chewing and muttered, "Oh great. That means I won't have to balance anything more on my breasts. What's the bad news?"
Cocking his ears and straining to listen, Shinji coughed discreetly. "Well…it's coming…"
"YOU TWO DORKS ARE THE LAZIEST EVER! CAN YOU WORK ANY FASTER!" The auditorium door groaned open as Shigeru and Hyuga both struggled to lift what seemed to be the entire recording room console on their shirtless shoulders. Maya was in the foreground railing at them to move faster and judging from the slapping sounds, seemed to be whipping them with extension cables. "You two dorks scratched my LED screen the last time! That better not happen again!"
Groaning, Shigeru moaned towards them, "Run…run away…it's that time of month again…"
Hyuga muttered, "She'll be having us calling her mistress by next week…OWW! STOP THAT MAYA!"
"Then turn around and shut up!" She pointed towards the right as she snapped the extension cable taut in her hands. "Storage facility over there so move!"
With grunts of exertion and much thanks to Maya's supplemental encouragement, the trio disappeared through the double doors and Maya's S&M fetish along with it. Blinking, Misato's pen dropped out of her nerveless lips and Rod A clattered against the half complete drum set. She blinked twice more in shock. She hiccupped, "You planned this didn't you Shinji?"
Coughing, Shinji muttered, "I saw them coming up the elevators so I took the stairs…I guess my warning came too late huh?"
Suddenly screaming and curling into a fetal ball, Misato started yelping, "My eyes! My eyes! I CAN NEVER SEE AGAIN! THE GOGGLES….THEY DO NOTHING!!!"
Setting his ultra-dark sunglasses back into his back pocket, Shinji whistled innocently as he went back to work.
***
Fuyutski definitely knew that this was not going to bode well. Licking his lips at the mess in the auditorium and the adjacent recording studio he tried to keep his voice calm, "Well…perhaps I was a bit loose in my meaning…you see…what I MEANT when I said you could move all customized equipment up here…you see…I didn't mean dismantling everything here."
Coming from below the stage with only his feet sticking out, Shigeru waved at Shinji. "Socket wrench eight-inch size…"
Fuyutski motioned towards Misato who was cursing at the drums. "You see…Mrs. Katsurugi had the right idea…moving instruments is perfectly acceptable."
"This one is three inch. Try the one on the right." Dutifully handing it over, Shinji yawned as he randomly reached into the toolbox and handed a tool down the hole where Shigeru was doing his best to revamp the entire electronic system.
Setting the ladder against the wall, Hyuga grimaced as he did his best to hold the speaker against the wall while he used a power drill to screw it firmly in place. Fuyutski nodded in appreciation, "And rewiring alternate speakers at key points is perfectly what many artists prefer to do."
Screeching, Maya suddenly ran out of the recording studio as smoke began billowing out of the room. Stamping on her foot and tugging at her stained outfit, she screeched, "GUYS…ummm….I think I burnt out another fuse! WHAT DO I DO!"
Simultaneously, Shinji, Misato and the two other techs said, "Get another one."
Tearing the fire extinguisher off the hook, Maya ran back in and sounds of pressurized carbon dioxide could be heard as well as Maya's incessant cursing.
Fuyutski's lip quivered as he did his best to keep from tearing out his hair. "But…really…I think most companies would draw the line at dismantling half the room just so you can make yourselves more at home…so to speak…"
Maya's tearful voice could be heard coming from the open door. "I don't think that's going to work this time…Hyuga-san…Shigeru-san…somebody help me…I don't think its supposed to smolder like that…"
Plugging the cotton swabs over her ears tighter, Misato's eyes scanned the instruction pamphlet as she muttered, "Place rod four firmly into drum three and apply pressure to create friction. A gentle rocking or sideways movement will allow rod to slide completely through. Use of lubricant is optional."
Simultaneously, Shinji and Hyuga stared at her from their respective places. Shigeru's legs twitched convulsively. Growing uncomfortable, Misato shrugged, "What?"
Hyuga coughed, "Oh definitely use the lubricant."
Shinji motioned with his hands, "Just makes that rod go right through."
From below the stage, Shigeru commented, "But I usually prefer the straight down approach. And since when did drum become a sexual euphemism?"
Misato glared at Shinji. Shrugging, Shinji lifted the toolbox next to his leg and dumped the entire contents down the hole. Sounds of rampant scatology and pain assailed their ears as Shigeru's legs seizured sporadically.
"Thank you Shinji."
They're not listening to me at all…! Feeling close to tears, Fuyutski groaned and sat down on the closest seat. GENDO'S GONNA KILL ME…
Maya ran out of the studio and shut the door behind her. Eyes flashing across the room, she pointed at all of them, "This never happened…all right? None of you ever saw this…"
"HAI HAI!"
HE'S GONNA KILL ME!
***
"Such a nice apartment…even though mine's a lot bigger, yours has a balcony…Mou… I knew I should have bargained harder. Sea-side view, cable television, and unlimited room service aren't everything…"
Misato glared at Ritsuko. "What the hell are you doing in my home?"
Ignoring the bitter glare, Ritsuko sat cross-legged on one of the cushions in front of the rectangular table. "No need to be bitter Misato…I did get your precious Shin-chan back didn't I?"
"Yeah…except I had to give you my pin number to my account! No problems there right?"
Ritsuko blushed. "I see you've already noticed…" She pouted, "I WAS planning to skim for another week or so…and it wasn't like I was going to TAKE EVERYTHING…"
Shinji pointed out from the kitchen, "Just most of it."
"I'd still leave you guys enough money to…breathe…I mean…how much food and shelter do you NEED?" Shivering, Ritsuko pulled her labcoat closer around her. "Is it just me or is your heater broken again?"
Misato's eyes bored into Ritsuko's back as her fingers convulsed around the agent's neck.
Diffusing the situation, Shinji emerged from the kitchen and slid a beer across the table to Misato. Almost tearing the lid off the can, Misato chugged it down in two breaths. Shinji asked Ritsuko politely, "I didn't know we were having guests tonight. Would you like anything to drink?"
Misato screeched, "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO THE ENEMY?"
Ritsuko waved Misato's comment away. "I'll just take whatever sake you have in the fridge Shinji. Don't worry too much." As Shinji disappeared into the kitchen, Ritsuko shook her head and sighed wistfully, "If only all boys his age were like that…so civil and polite…I could wipe them clean in ten seconds."
Staring at her disbelievingly, Misato stuttered, "R…Ritsuko…has it ever occurred to you that appreciating the kindness of others is more beneficial than extorting them?"
Ritsuko pondered the question for a moment. "I did once…but than I realized that whoever came up with quote is either stupid or really really REALLY poor." She clapped her hands and smiled happily. "Besides, why do I need to bother being nice when there are so many saps out there who can be nice for me?"
"You're so heartless…"
"Thank you. I do so try."
Setting three bowls of ramen down and a plate of curry in the middle of the table, Shinji sat down on the far side of the table. Clapping their hands, all three of them bowed their heads and chanted, "ITADAKIMASU!"
Not even waiting for the last syllable to be uttered, Misato broke apart her chopsticks and began digging in. Ritsuko eyed her portion a bit more cautiously…somehow…although it was an impossibility…the food in front of her looked decently edible.
Noticing her worry, Shinji waved a hand. "Don't worry Ritsuko. It's my turn to cook today so you don't need to take out your indigestion pills." His face took a pensive look. "But I did reheat Misato's curry so you might want to watch out…"
Trailing off, Shinji and Ritsuko grimaced as Misato took the entire plate of curry and dumped it onto her bowl. Stirring vigorously until the soup turned a translucent orangy green ish-ish, Misato noticed the horrified expression on their faces. "What? Did you want some of the curry too?" Pushing her bowl forward, she said generously, "There's still some more on the top. Anything I haven't stirred is still up for grabs. Ya want some?"
Shinji and Ritsuko both moved their bowls decisively away from the purple-haired musician. "It's quite…quite all right…"
"Wouldn't want to spoil my…I mean…your appetite."
"Couldn't possibly dream of intruding…"
A bit affronted at their refusal, Misato muttered, "Than what's with those faces? If you didn't want any, it's really impolite to stare."
Ritsuko and Shinji definitely sweatdropped. She really is clueless…
Letting the point die, Ritsuko asked, "So the rehearsal's up tomorrow. I hope you two have worked out your differences because you don't have enough money between the two of you to hire me to bail you out."
Misato spoke in between swallows. "Don't worry about it Ritsuko. It's all covered! Except Shinji whines too much. You ask him to do anything and he starts complaining."
Blowing on his bite of ramen, Shinji answered agreeably. "Right, that's me. I mean, what's fracturing my shoulder and dealing with constant Pre-menstrual syndrome between friends?"
"Watch it brat."
Shinji swallowed noisily as he slurped his soup. "I'm just stating the facts they way they are."
Ritsuko interjected, "That's all very fine. Shinji, watch yourself, I think you might be growing a backbone, and Misato…don't get sober on me now."
"SHADDUP!"
Ignoring the sullen looks directed at her, Ritsuko reached into her purse and withdrew three cards. "All right, Fuyutski gave these to me to hand out to you. They're your official NERV passes. It'll give you access to NERV facilities and benefits and all that other stuff I didn't bother to care about. So don't lose them or you'll be in big trouble."
Reaching over and snatching a card, Misato growled, "What? Like the way you lost your soul?"
Shinji smothered his laughter as Ritsuko's eyes twitched. Sliding his card over to his side of the table, his eyes widened slightly. "Hey…this isn't mine…this is Rei's."
Ritsuko snapped her fingers. "Ah…dammit! I knew I forgot something at the office today." She groaned, "I guess it can't be helped." She slid Shinji's card over to him and said, "Here's your card. Since you'll probably meet her anyways, hand her pass to her before you show up to work. I would pass it to her myself but well…you know…"
Misato arced an eyebrow. "You're lazy and money-grubbing?"
"Basically. One out of two ain't bad."
"One out of two?" Misato rolled her eyes. "Tell me which one is wrong."
"Figure it out yourself." Pointedly ignoring Misato, Ritsuko scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to Shinji. "Here's her home address. Don't forget or I'll screw your entire career over and still turn a profit."
Shinji's face exploded red. "Her…HOME…ME!!" He sputtered, "Are you out of your mind! I can't do that! I…I…I…." He trailed off as the pointed stares of Misato and Ritsuko almost physically knocked him backwards. "W…what?"
Ritsuko murmured under her breath, "He's protesting too much…this isn't like him."
Answering in the same hushed tone, Misato nodded, "He must be hiding something…"
"Maybe some dirty thoughts? Your Shin-chan isn't as innocent as he seems…"
"Obviously. Do you think it's those dirty magazines in the third shelf of his dresser?"
Shinji jumped to his feet and screamed at the both of them, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! WHAT DIRTY THOUGHTS!!" He pointed at Misato, "THOSE ARE YOUR DIRTY MAGAZINES!"
Misato rolled her eyes, "Well…it's not like you probably never looked at them."
"THEY'RE FULL OF NAKED MEN!! WHY WOULD I LOOK AT NAKED MEN!"
Misato snapped her fingers. "Hot damn! So you did take a look at the inside."
Ritsuko shook her head. "Scandalous. Just scandalous."
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT! STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH! I'M NOT HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS AND I'M STRAIGHT!"
Misato and Ritsuko shared a meaningful glance between each other before continuing on. "So how's the market going?"
"Not too bad. My portfolio has gone up three points so if you guys work harder, I can retire by next year."
"I'll try to keep that in mind."
"MISATO! RITSUKO! STOP IGNORING ME!!"
***
Why are the two of them so irresponsible…what do I do to deserve this? I know I get manipulated all the time, but isn't this going too far? Gripping Rei's card until the plastic almost sliced in half, Shinji screamed out loud, "DAMN YOU MISATO AND RITSUKO!"
And everyone on the entire subway turned to stare at him.
Crying silent tears of embarrassment, Shinji whispered to himself, "Not fair…not fair at all…"
***
For being the top starlet of NERV and probably their most coveted and talented singer… since…ever…she did live a fair distance from work. Grimacing, Shinji also noticed that Rei didn't live in exactly what he would call the lap of luxury. Around him, the sound of heavy construction and rusted machinery assailed as his ears as he made his way through the more so dilapidated sidewalk.
Half of the area seemed to be in ruins…the rest was still under construction. Hopping over the ditch on the road still muddy from the last rain, Shinji winced as the sound of crashing steel drowned out whatever thoughts he had in his head. "Really…how can anyone be a singer in a place like this? You can't even here yourself sing…"
As he approached the apartment complex Ritsuko had told him to go to, Shinji had to agree, it did seem to be the finest building in the area…it looked watertight and three fourths of the rooms boasted four walls and maybe half a ceiling each. At the very least, someone had decided to splash a coat of weak white paint on the side.
Shinji shook his head and checked the address for the fifth time since leaving the subway station. "I hope Ritsuko isn't playing another joke on me…"
Rei's apartment was on the fifteenth floor…and the elevators seemed broken. It was no wonder Rei was as slim as a willow. Climbing up these stairs day after day would keep anyone in shape. Shinji swallowed nervously…that girl…it was really thanks to her that he had gotten this far. She was the one who had accepted him into the band…
But that didn't shake the nervousness gathering at his throat. He didn't know how long he could last under Rei's icy stare. C'mon Shinji…she told you herself she liked how you play on the guitar…right? But on the same sense, she hated his singing.
As both an artist and a musician, that stung. True, he wouldn't dream of thinking his voice anywhere in the same universe as Rei's. He had bought her first CD just as half of the nation seemed to be doing just to prove to himself that it was just another fad.
He was wrong.
Rei was as good as it gets. In fact, Shinji thought to himself, she might be better than that. Misato was not a bad singer…in fact, she had coached him his basic measures and vocals. It was just that, it was like comparing a candle to a blowtorch. Rei's voice was born to take the lead role…in fact, if his ear wasn't wrong, Shinji thought she must have never played another part.
That voice of hers was too good to have ever been anything else besides lead singing material. And that body of hers…it was perfect. Shinji blushed as erogenous thoughts crossed his mind. Shaking his head, he fought to retain musical objectivity. Her small stomach and chest might make it difficult to hit the soprano notes but this was J-Pop not opera. That small frame made it easier for her to control her voice, clip tones when necessary, and modulate to any beat. So while she wouldn't be able to scream her lungs out…she never would really have to.
Shinji thought sourly to himself. It didn't matter if he had a bad voice or not…he was a guitarist…not a singer.
Scanning Ritsuko's slip of paper and the passing apartment numbers, his pace slowed than stopped as he stared at the door in front of him. Gulping nervously, he slowly pressed the doorbell. Expecting a chime, dead silence punctuated my rapacious background noise welcomed him.
"What the…" Pressing the doorbell again, he sighed as nothing happened. "Don't tell me it's broken…why can't anything ever be easy?" Letting his sigh die, he rapped the door sharply and shouted, "A…ano…this is Ikari Shinji…is anybody home? Hello!"
No one responded.
But what was strange was that there was a pair of shoes still on the doormat. "That's weird…she has to be home then…" Swallowing nervously, he gingerly tested the doorknob. Sliding easily, the dear creaked open loudly. Taken aback, Shinji almost tripped over his feet as he took a step backwards. Refusing to intrude, Shinji desperately called from the outside, "Ayanami-san…you door was unlocked and I…I…"
Trailing off as no seemed to respond any time soon, Shinji scratched the back of his head, pushed the door open, and stepped inside.
There was no doubt a musician lived here. But…it was a musician that rivaled Misato's household touch. Sheet music was scattered almost everywhere. On the bed, on the nightstand and on the walls. Ironically enough, the wastebasket was empty. There was a microphone attached to a speaker, but the speaker wasn't even plugged into the outlet on the wall. A CD-player and a tape recorder were set up on the night stand but judging from their relative condition and the layer of dust on the surface, probably hadn't been used in a long while.
But it didn't feel like a musician's hovel because there was no music. No instruments. Only endless piles of sheet music that turned the room almost snow white.
It was eerily disconcerting.
Walking up to the nightstand, Shinji trailed a finger through the dust on the wood leaving a dark imprint on his finger. There was a small shelve full of old cassettes next to the tape recorder each with varying layers of dust. They were some old titles…some perhaps more recent.
Shinji's hand slowly slid over the single cassette which was free of dust. Sliding the cassette off the shelve he saw nothing remarkable about it. Black, unmarked and completely uninspiring, Shinji's curiosity got the better of him. Popping the cassette into the recorder, he pressed play and waited.
The first few seconds were static…but somewhere…somewhere in the background a hint of melody was being played. Classical…no…it had a rhythm. A singer's clear, melodious voice resonated as the opening into began. Blending in perfectly, a guitar sequence kept time in the oddest way…instead of following beat, it dropped whenever the singer's voice went high but threatened to drown her out whenever her voice dropped to…almost a whisper.
The guitar was not electric…it was string. And there were no background speakers or equalizers. This was pure music…it was quaint…almost simple.
But there was no denying the particular beat it had. The sound that had become so familiar to him…Shinji had to smile.
Simple or not, this was J-pop.
Losing himself in the music as his fingers tapped gently against the nightstand, a soft voice came to him almost as a shock. "What are you doing?" Stepping out from the side closet, Rei asked without the slightest curiosity in her voice. Dressed in a long-sleeved black smock, Shinji almost had a heart attack when he realized that her skirt was still draped on her arm instead of on her hips. So while the shirt was barely long enough to cover her thighs and panties…it didn't leave much more to the imagination.
"A…Ayanami…I…it's not…" Shinji stammered wildly as words fought and died on his tongue.
Unconcerned by her state of undress that came perilously close to scandalous, Rei's eyes widened slightly as she recognized the music. Eyes set on the recorder she strode purposefully forward. Panicking, Shinji accidentally pressed the fast forward button just as Rei's finger pressed the eject.
The tape spiraled off the cassette as it spilled towards the floor and the cassette churned noisily, still stuck within the recorder. Pulling the cassette out, Rei dropped to the floor as she scooped the loose tape back in her hands and held it protectively in her arms.
Shinji swallowed nervously as he stammered, "I am so sorry…I came here and you didn't answer the door and…I…just saw it…" He helplessly began repeating himself. "I am so…so sorry…"
Ignoring him completely, Rei almost tenderly began looping the tape back into the cassette. Meticulously untangling the mess, she wiped off the residue rubbed off from the floor and without a word slid the cassette gently back onto the shelf. As if noticing Shinji again for the first time, she asked, "What are you doing here?"
Hastily digging into his pocket he almost thrust the card at her. "Your card Ayanami-san…Ritsuko told me to hand it to you and gave me your address and…" He winced as Rei snatched it out of his hand and held it up to her face. "And that's why I was here and…your tape isn't damaged is it?"
Satisfied, Rei set her card on the counter and turned her back on him. Bending over to pick up her skirt where she had dropped it on the floor, Shinji blushed and spun around as the blue-haired girl stepped into her skirt and fastened it to her waist. She asked quietly, "Is that all you came here for?"
"YES!" Tensing as he closed his eyes shut, Shinji fervently nodded. "I didn't mean to go through your stuff and it was all an accident!"
Rei tucked her NERV pass into her pocket and walked past Shinji. "Then leave." Curtly stepping into her lavatory, she closed the door behind her.
Bolting out the door without need for a second reminder, Shinji almost tore down the stairs in his haste. Unable to stop running until he was in front of the subway station again, he panted heavily as his fist convulsed and loosened sporadically. Leaning against the wall as he collapsed against the stairs, all he could think of…all he could remember was sheet music scattered everywhere and a fragment of music that stopped just before he realized he knew where he had heard it from.
***
"So you walked in on her while she was half-naked? Wow…you have more guts than I thought."
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
"So…how did it look…eh?"
"I wish you wouldn't put it that way."
"You sly little devil you. Didn't know you had that side to you buddy."
"I told you it wasn't like that! It was a complete accident…" He groaned. "I told her it was an accident but she didn't believe me…what am I supposed to do now?"
Maya slammed her cup of coffee on the table and shot Hyuga a glare. "You can DIE you disgusting pervert!" She waved her fist at Shigeru, "AND WOULD YOU STOP TALKING LIKE I WASN'T HERE!??"
Hyuga smiled weakly, "It was all a misunderstanding…you're overreacting…"
"OVERREACTING! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING YOU PIG!? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU CAN JUST WALK IN AND BARGE INTO MY SIDE OF THE APARTMENT WITHOUT…"
Tuning the argument out, Shigeru leaned back on his chair, "So peaceful…so quiet…"
"I told you I'm sorry Maya! It was a mistake! A misunderstanding!"
"Mistake? I'LL SHOW YOU A MISTAKE! YOU DAMN PERVERT! IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD WHO WOULD JUST BARGE INTO A WOMAN'S ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION! DIE!"
***
Shinji sneezed violently. Wearily looking at the ceiling, he muttered, "Does this only happen to me? I try too hard…"
Busy tightening her last screw and giving the drum a good whack for test, Misato asked curiously, "Try too hard at what Shin-chan?"
Shinji made a face, "Nothing too much I guess. Need help setting that up?"
"This piece of crap?" Misato glowered at the drum set, "Half of the instructions weren't even in Japanese…they weren't even in the same language. If you want to do something right, do it by your own damn self."
"Not as easy as playing a keyboard eh?"
Misato plopped down next to Shinji on the stage and clapped a hand across his shoulder. "It's all the same…I teach you something, you try to run away and give me a heart attack."
Shinji groaned as he slapped a hand over his head. "I told you I was sorry all right? I apologized thirty times already. Give it a rest!"
" I guess." Reclining on the stage, she yawned. "Practice rehearsal is in three hours…you gave Rei her passcard right? Cause it would really suck if NERV's top singer got stuck in the front lobby cause you're an idiot."
Shinji blushed red. "I did it all right?"
Misato winked. "I'm sure you did." Her face grew oddly serious. "But really Shinji…are you worried about the concert?"
Crossing his legs and propping the guitar on his shoulder, Shinji shrugged. "It's not like we haven't done live performances before."
Misato laughed. "Those were small fry. Imagine it Shinji…just imagine it. An auditorium packed with more people than the designers ever could've imagined could fit. Each of them yelling, screaming…" Her voice grew soft. "Almost so loud you can't ever hear what you're playing. Cameras in back of you, to the side…everywhere but where you can see them. The air is so full with sweat, noise and tension that it almost blacks you out."
Shinji gulped noisily. "I guess…"
Misato leaned over and smiled at Shinji. "Cause I don't know about you…but I'm scared."
"You!?"
She scoffed, "I've been on that stage…maybe twice in my lifetime. The feeling never changes…the pressure that's enough to fracture your back in half. What happens if I slip? If I forget? If I freeze? And the people aren't even looking at me…they're looking at the person who's singing."
"Do you want to sing than?"
"Damn straight I do." Misato placed a hand on her collarbone. "Cause the fear is what I live for. The edge that's always there…god…" She stretched lethargically. "It's almost as good as getting drunk."
Shinji smiled. "But what happens if you pass out?"
Misato sighed. "That's why I can't just sing…I need to have something in my hands to know that I'm alive…not just a microphone." Her eyes grew glassy. "I'm in a certain class…but the people who can shut everything out and let their voice be that instrument are far beyond me. Those are the people that are the best." Sighing, she propped her arms behind her head. "Those are the people who must feel that fear all the way to their soul."
Shinji chuckled. "Is that the way it is Misato?"
"its how it's always been. That's why those people have the ability to make it all…or watch it all crack in an instant."
"Yeah…I guess."
Letting them fall into silence, Rei averted her eyes and walked off.
***
Maya swallowed nervously. This is it…
The stage had been set and wonders of wonders, the recording studio had been salvaged from the brink of death. If it started acting up again, nothing a swift quick couldn't solve. The practice auditorium was littered with press media and VIP members with the Chairman and Vice-Chairman sitting appropriately on front.
Still, the crowd here was barely one/hundredth what the crowd was expected in two days for the finale. Tickets had been sold out half an hour after the booth had opened and already, long lines were still camping out for the next day's distribution. Anything possibly having to do with Ayanami Rei have been sold out from CDs to wall scrolls. The hype was the largest J-Pop Razz, gUiTAR.//sign, and Gravitation had seen in a long, long time with tour release tickets backed all the way for three weeks and reservations overloading even NERV's servers.
Maya just thanked whatever god was out there that as a tech of the band itself, she was already guaranteed seating and membership benefits. Otherwise, it would have been hell to scour the market out there.
The rehearsal was expected to be no longer than thirty minutes long with alternated two minute breaks in between songs. Most of the heavier duty equipment had not been set up but most of it had already been sent to the Tokyo-3 Municipal Auditorium for installment. This was simply a dry run and a chance for the singer to parade for the media so to speak.
Most of the practicing and fine-tuning came out of the public eye. Personally, Maya thought three days of practice was a bit to ask of any band or singer, but then again, she wasn't in much of a position to argue. And privately, she admitted to herself that Shinji and Misato had gone through practice like nothing at all.
They had already memorized by heart (and had a lot of fun remixing much to Hyuga's dismay) all the songs required of them and then some. After that Shinji incident had been smoothed over, practice had become a rather smooth affair…it mainly consisted of Shigeru pressing the record and stop button and Hyuga losing a lotta hair trying to play catch-up. Maya prided herself on musical objectivity…being a performer once herself had rubbed that on her.
Still…she couldn't deny that these two, on their best of course, were some rather hot stuff. If anything, they kept each other sharp with critical remarks always thrown at each other after rehearsal. They had gone over all the music just under fifteen minutes ago and were fresh and well prepared for the rehearsal about to take place.
Maya swallowed nervously. But still…what was Rei thinking? This was the first time she had even bothered being on the same stage with her players…if they didn't make a mistake, would she make a mistake? Maya grumbled to herself. Would those two idiots start having too much fun and remix everything they possibly could? That would REALLY end their careers awfully fast…and judging how high pace a life those two loved to lead, it wasn't too far out of the spectrum.
Still, they did look rather sedate on the stage with Misato joshing around with Shinji as more media onlookers filed into the room. For wonders, Misato had decided wear long blue pants instead of her customary…wake-up wear and had a (for her style) conservative red jumper that showed just enough…barely enough…midriff to get her banned from most public schools. She sported a purple beret a tone darker than her purple hair which was tied back as she reviewed notes with her partner.
Shinji, on the other hand, had finally lost the school boy look and was dressed more appropriately for J-Pop. His white collar shirt was replaced by a slightly baggy red T-shirt and shorts that dangled just below the knees with a generic baseball cap on his head with his sunglasses set on the brow. He seemed much more relaxed than Maya thought he would…and his guitar was loosely strapped on his back as he sat on the speaker listening to Misato who was gesturing emphatically.
Leaning forward, she whispered something to him and his face broke into a smile as he shook his head and made a gesture at his throat. Making a face, Misato pouted and lightly tapped a drumstick on his head to which Shinji stuck out his tongue and sauntered off stage to pour a drink.
Shigeru leaned back and reclined in his seat as he stretched. "Well…this is live performance…so nothing we can do. Sit back and enjoy the show Maya."
Maya scowled, "Even if you say that so easily, it's not like it's just their jobs on the line. If they screw up now, we'll get fired too."
"That can't be helped. Worrying about them won't do any good." Hyuga took the seat next to Maya. "Best we can do is hope they play half as good as they do in practice."
Shigeru and Maya quirked their eyebrows. "Half."
Hyuga shrugged. "I might not be the best techie out there…but it's been a long time since someone could outplay me. Trust me, if they're just looking to pass par…half is all they'll need."
***
"I'm telling you, why the hell am I even wearing this crap? God…I hate wearing long pants." Gesturing at her apparel Misato grimaced as she tugged on her jumper. "And what the hell is up with this? I like having some air down there…" She stared forlornly at her breasts. "God…this shirt makes me look like I'm wearing a B-Cup."
Shinji laughed. "It can't be helped. Fuyutski took one look at what you were wearing and almost threw you back in the dresser."
Misato smiled creamily. "You know Shinji…without that schoolboy look…if you had some more facial hair…and maybe spiked that hair of yours…I would probably jump your bones in a second."
"I'm really sure. I'll keep that in mind next time I choose my wardrobe."
"Hey Shinji, I was thinking…you know for that second song…I just came up with this great remix. Listen up. You start flat and I'll start with the percussion and you build up until the second bar. Then…"
Shinji's eyes bulged. "Are you joking! This isn't practice Misato! If we remix it…" He slid a finger across his throat. "Ritsuko's gonna kill us…IF WE'RE LUCKY!"
Misato pouted as she spun her drumstick on her finger. "But it would sound so much better." Rapping Shinji across the head playfully, she mock sulked, "You take the fun out of everything in my life."
"I'm sure I do Misato. And now, I'm going to get something to drink. Remember…NO REMIXING!" Sticking out his tongue and hopping off the stage, he sauntered off to the coolers and poured himself a Styrofoam cup of punch.
Like a wounded animal separated from the pack, the very next moment, Shinji found himself surrounded by snattily dressed men and women throwing their cameras and microphones at his face. Choking on his punch and his heart spasmed uncontrollably, Shinji was pressed uncomfortably onto the table as the press cornered him down.
"How does it feel to be the latest members of Rei's band?"
"How long do you think you'll last before you get fired?"
"Are you having any relationship with that woman you were seen talking to on the stage?"
"Please give us a response to allegations of you walking into Rei's apartment earlier this morning? Are you two having a secret relationship?"
Sputtering, Shinji screamed into the camera, "Where the HELL did that come from?" He pointed to the other reporter, "THAT'S MY GAURDIAN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! DON'T DISGUST ME!"
As if a tidal wave approached, the paparazzi surged forward scenting blood in the air.
"Since woman disgust you, are allegations of your lesbianism correct?"
"How long has Mrs. Katsurugi been your 'guardian'?"
"Have you, and how many, male lovers have you had encountered this past year?"
Feeling his soul literally get sucked out of him, Shinji recoiled in terror as his eyes desperately searched for escape. Someone…someone help me…
Maya, Shigeru, and Hyuga doffed their caps and bowed their hands. Maya intoned solemnly, "Pray for that young boys soul…for indeed, there may be no greater force upon this earth than that of the entertainment machine."
Shigeru and Hyuga nodded as they crossed themselves. "Amen."
Misato snickered, "Feel the wrath of god boy!"
***
Rei stared at her own reflection in the mirror as her makeup artist left her alone in the dresser. It looked wrong…it wasn't her. There was too much blush on her cheeks and the highlights on her eyelashes didn't match the burning red of her eyes. It was as if a toddler had splashed paint on her face…
It was too bad no one else saw it that way.
Her hand was shaking on the dresser, agitating the mirror until it looked her entire reflection was quaking in fear. Grimacing, she clenched her hand into a fist and clamped down on the emotions she was feeling.
That boy and that woman…she supposed they were right. She was in the position to either make it all, or break it all. She was a singer…it was all she knew how to do…by singing, she defined herself.
It was how she was raised to do…it was everything.
If only that boy didn't return…Feeling her teeth start to grind as her lip curled slightly, she pushed herself away from her reflection and calmed her breathing. She didn't want to know how she looked like…she didn't want to know how she felt. Closing her eyes, she forced those thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on what was important.
The music…she wanted to wrap herself in the music until her mind and heart froze. It was what she lived for. A place where she could feel absolutely nothing.
"Ayanami-san! You're up in five minutes." A polite knock on her door reminded her where she was and what was to come.
Steadying herself until the world came into painful focus, Rei stood up and opened her eyes. Someone who may have seen her would've been astonished at the dead seriousness in her gaze and the icy impartiality that reflected dully off her pupils. Picking a black leather glove from the compartment two drawers down, she pulled it over her right hand and squeezed it into a fist until the leather chaffed and she began to lose feeling in her palm.
Holding her black hand in front of her face, she gazed at the reflection on the mirror. The girl stared impartially back…oblivious to anything but the moment. Rei's eyes narrowed.
Time to stop worrying.
Because it was time to sing.
Keep the hand numb.
***
Fuyutski tapped the microphone and had to smile at the slightly haggard Shinji who seemed to be wincing every time a camera flashed. He cleared his throat. "Welcome members of the press and all invited guests. This is an auspicious moment for both NERV and the music industry as we begin our release of Ayanami Rei. Allow me to introduce as guitarist, Ikari Shinji and as drummer, Katsurugi Misato."
Bowing more easily than he felt, Shinji had to look at Misato who seemed completely relaxed behind the drum set. Personally, he had to wonder just how ready they were. He hefted his guitar. Well, that wasn't his problem. He was going to play…if Rei couldn't keep up, it was really a pity.
Because like hell was anyone going to stop them.
Misato grinned widely as Shinji's eyes flared softly. Damn straight kid. We're the best! You and me…we're going to blow everyone away.
"And presenting Ayanami Rei." Bowing off the stage, Fuytuski motioned off as the blue-haired starlet strode to center stage. Camera's flashed almost by the second as the audience seemed to be drowning in a sea of light. In the center, oblivious to it all was Rei.
Standing closely behind her, Shinji whispered softly through his headset, "How do you want us to play? Do you want any particular beat?"
Rei tilted her head softly and replied concisely. "I don't care. It won't matter."
Misato and Shinji exchanged a glance. Cracking her knuckles, Misato chuckled. "Don't complain if you can't keep up then." She shrugged as Shinji stared helplessly. "Play it by the sheet Shinji. Follow my lead all right?"
Shinji gulped. "If you say so…"
Nodding to signify she was ready, immediately the lights darkened and the room quieted. A spotlight beamed down and bathed the stage in an eerie glow. Accentuating her pale figure, Rei's eyes grew lidded as she gripped the microphone in front of her tightly. The mood grew smokier and more intimate as the song began.
Misato's eyes narrowed. Show me how good you really are girl…
I Hear you Everywhere - Tanaka ReiThe song was a slow one…it wasn't really supposed to be performed at a concert. It was merely a test. An opportunity to demonstrate the synergy between the vocalist and the instrumentalist.
It was for that reason Shinji disliked it…in fact, a guitar wasn't even supposed to be used for the song. But, he reminded himself, his role was simply to provide a background. This was a song where the vocalist took control.
Playing softly, almost lethargically as the music came out slowly from an instrument used to something more upbeat, Shinji carefully kept the guitar under control. Misato tapped the cymbal lightly in a basic rhythm, alternating intermittently with a tap on the percussion. Keeping the rhythm, Rei began to sing.
Kurai yoru no yami no kaze no naka de In the darkness of a windy nightShizuka ni sotoo mo samasu toki when I awake calmly,
Douka saisho ni utsuru sono sekai ga Please the world reflected in my eyes first and
Mimi ni fureru sono koe ga The voice touch me Kyou mo ano hito de… Be that person's…De aru you subete ga umarete Everything created from that point and
Dare mo ga kurushimanai de sumu you ni I wish no one be hurt
It was rather poignant. A simple song…really not for the instrumentalists to play a large role. And as such, Shinji could acknowledge Rei's skill. But he was still not very impressed. Instead of tuning his guitar to match Rei's voice, he still followed behind Misato's drum and let her call the beat.
The fact could not have been lost on Rei, but she didn't make any effort to rein in her players. She neither alternated her beat nor hurried her voice. It was still calm…still very smooth. Letting her voice trail on the end note, she flowed into the chorus.
Ano HITO to no mach ga suki I love the downtown, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no ame ga suki I love the rain, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no to ga suki… I love sound, being with that PERSON
I hear EVERYWHERE… I hear you everywhere
Tsumetai asa… hanareteitta toshite mo… Even if we are apart in a cold morningMaya breathed a sigh of relief. The first half of the song had proceeded quite well…a bit on the boring side but still, very well. Oh, it wasn't lost on her that Shinji was playing with Misato instead of with Rei, but with such a standardized background, it wasn't too much a difference.
Ritsuko too could sense the differing tension on the stage…the almost cynical lethargic play. Misato wasn't pushing herself to excel in any one way but was simply playing a sheet of music…which for now, was all Ritsuko needed or wanted her to do. Once they got past this hurdle, there would be plenty of time to add an artist's touch.
And Rei suddenly made an entrance. Jumping ahead two notes earlier, she added a lilt to her voice and began to speed up. Almost taking Misato by surprise, Shinji smoothly covered by matching pace and giving time for Misato to play catch up. Ad-libbing a note, Misato gritted her teeth softly. Are you trying to outplay us?
In the seats, Gendo smiled.
Sora wa nan no ichibu nandarou I wonder who the sky belongs to…Kitto chiisana hanabira mitai ni I believe that like a small flower petal,
Wazuka de kasuka de bit and subtle and
Ki ni mo tomenai you na not being aware of,
Ooki na sora ga sino ue iku Another great sky is over it.Misato suddenly lengthened the transition time from the first bar to the next. Adding a few more beats to the percussion, she changed the entire tempo and randomly slowed and sped the beat. Swallowing nervously to himself, Shinji let himself follow her remix as his hands almost moved by instinct.
Completely unphased, Rei waited a few measures, keeping time with the new beat mentally and adjusting the song to match. Picking the perfect time to slide in, she squeezed the microphone tighter and raised her voice until the background music blended perfectly with hers.
Hateshinai yozora….ah ah ah… Boundless night sky…oh…ohAnnu fuu ni naretara If I could be like that
Chikaku ni iratara If I could be beside like that
Subete o wake ate iketara ii no ni If I could share everything, I wish…
Ano HITO to no mach ga suki I love the downtown, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no ame ga suki I love the rain, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no to ga suki… I love sound, being with that PERSON
I hear you EVERYWHERE I hear you everywhere…
Kikoeteru you I'm hearing
Mou aenai to wakatte mo… even if I found that I can not see you…Letting her voice die, Shinji's eyes were raised in admiration as he began the ending bar. Winding down, he internally shook his head.
Misato was a bit stunned. True it wasn't the most complex of remixes but it should've been one that would've forced Rei to follow their lead. The girl had taken it all in stride and then some. And to be all honest, it even made it look like she had planned it all.
She was good…
And she was just getting started because she wasn't even done. Slipping back into the music just as the guitar began winding down; she caught Shinji completely by surprise as she gripped the microphone and began repeating the end chorus. Misato was caught completely off guard as her sticks were already laid down on the pad. Unable to even catch-up she vainly looked on at Shinji. THAT BITCH!
Allowing her voice to lilt and sway, Rei's voice took on more subtle qualities as Shinji was forced to completely follow her lead. Listening by rote and half by pure pattern, Shinji's fingers flashed on the strings as Rei forced him to stay note by note or leave him completely behind.
Ano HITO to no mach ga suki I love the downtown, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no ame ga suki I love the rain, being with that PERSON
Ano HITO to no to ga suki… I love sound, being with that PERSON
I hear you EVERYWHERE I hear you everywhere…
Kikoeteru you I'm hearing
Mou aenai to wakatte mo… even if I found that I can not see you…
It ended just soon enough. Barely keeping up with her rhythm until the end, Shinji flubbed two notes on the end but hastily improvised to keep the ending at par. Sweating profusely, he wiped the sheen of sweat on his brow as his hand complained bitterly. As the members in the audience applauded, he could almost see the half-smirk on Gendo's face and the shocked looks on the techie's…probably mirroring his own. He took a gulp of water as his dry throat felt completely parched. What was THAT?
Rei had completely outsang them, outplayed them, and outclassed them in every single department. He had barely kept up with her remix and he had been raised realizing music could be changed a thousand times over. And all she did was raise or drop her voice…she didn't even have an instrument. Unable to keep the admiration out of his voice, his voice wavered as he croaked, "Wow…that is good…"
And standing on the middle of the stage, aloof to them was Ayanami Rei, eyes still half-lidded with the music…placed in a world that he could never understand. Shinji shook his head. "That is good…"
***
The rehearsal had continued on with Misato following her role and Shinji dutifully following suit. It had been quite disconcerting at times to look at Ritsuko's face but… Shinji swallowed, it hadn't gone QUITE as bad as he had thought. This was the part he had dreaded more than anything.
The press conference.
Barely had the last note been played had they been ushered into the room and thrown to the mercy of the media. And the scale was simply mind-boggling. How on earth the paparazzi could fit so much heavy equipment into a single room was probably beyond the laws of physics. Sitting behind a press box, Shinji nervously took a gulp of water and awaited the inevitability of fate.
He almost envied the impartial, even aura that Rei seemed to project…like the eye of a vast and powerful hurricane.
As soon as the last camera and spotlight had been positioned, Fuyutski gave the go-ahead signal and the room erupted as if hell had been unleashed. Immediately, ten different cameras flashed light, making Shinji blink and eyes water. The clamor was simply incredible…the only godsend was that most of the questions were aimed at the real star of the show rather than the side-cast.
Misato could only smile. Because someone who was ten years her minor had just torched her…Rei had played on her field and systematically dismantled her. She shook her head and leaned on the table noticing Shinji had the same disbelieving attitude as she did. Giving him a reassuring smile, he blushed and shrugged in response.
Because really…how do you compete with someone as good as Rei?
"Ayanami-san! Do you expect your next release to go platinum?"
"Your latest song has stayed on the top charts for three weeks yet your second release has fallen from the top place. How will this affect your career?"
"AYANAMI-SAN! WHAT ARE THE RUMORS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH…"
"Ayanami-san!"
"Rei-chan! Please answer this…"
It was completely brutal without even the slightest remorse or privacy. In some ways, it was so completely ironic that to those who achieved the greatest fame, there were those who wished them to collapse so they could start anew.
Shinji's eyes widened as he saw blood begin to drip down Ayanami's pale skin. Following the trail, he gasped as he saw Rei's fist clenched in a tight ball. The black glove she wore did nothing to disguise the strained muscles or the bruise that was beginning to form on her forearm as well as her palm. But most disconcerting was the impartial gaze in her eyes as she stared sightlessly at the crowd. Stared so lost…
Her pupils were completely dilated.
And her black glove never unclenched…and never stopped shaking.
***
Misato swallowed nervously as Ritsuko waved the sheet music in the air. "Misato…what the hell were you trying to pull? I might not be a musician but I as sure as hell now what you were playing wasn't on the damn sheet! Do you have any idea what could have happened?
Turning on Shinji, Ritsuko exclaimed, "And what were you doing following her lead? I know you two can read each other's twisted minds but I don't think you can expect that from everyone!"
Scratching his head nervously, Shinji shrugged weakly, "It's not like it made a difference or anything…"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT SHINJI!"
Misato interrupted, "Don't blame him. It was my fault. I got kinda cocky…" Smiling weakly, Misato shrugged. "I don't know what got into me…I guess I just wanted to see how good Rei is."
Ritsuko scowled, "That is so like you." Wiping her glasses, she sighed, "Well…nothing went wrong…and I think you learned that Rei IS that good. And the press loved the remixes so it's not like you got any bad publicity…" She forcefully pointed a finger at the both of them. "But if you two do ANYTHING like that again…
Letting her voice trail off, Ritsuko groaned, "God…you two give me a heart attack. I'll clear it up with Fuyutski…don't worry about it. I'll clear up for you guys again…"
Misato and Shinji smiled weakly. "Thanks Ritsuko…how much will it cost?"
Ritsuko waved it off. "I'll take an IOU…god…I'm too shocked to haggle right now." Turning down the corner and tapping her clipboard, she shook her head. "I'll con you both later."
Suddenly alone, Shinji smiled wanly at Misato. "Guess we learned we're not as good as we think we are eh?"
Misato sat down. "I guess so…we had trouble keeping up with her…and you were playing your fingers off." She whistled, "Damn…I haven't seen anything like that in a long time. Guess Ayanami's the genuine article."
Shinji frowned, "Not too generous with the press though."
Waving him off, Misato shook her head. "That's no biggy. C'mon…she's the biggest name in Japan right now. She's probably used to it."
"She seemed kinda agitated to me though…"
Misato sighed. "Who know. Probably just jitters…not like she's actually scared of the limelight. Trust me Shinji…if she doesn't expect it…she shouldn't be singing in the first place."
***
Slowly, painfully, Rei flattened out her palm against the table. Grimacing as waves of fresh pain tore at her hand, she slowly peeled the black glove off her hand. Breathing deeply, she winced as feeling began to return and the numbness wore off. The bruise on her right hand was dark purple and was split in the middle. Although it hadn't started swelling, it was still very tender to the touch.
Rei bit her lip gently as her hand throbbed in the cool of her dressing room. It had been a long time since she had to do this…but, now…she didn't have a choice. She had already felt the pain as soon as the song had ended. Coping with what others expected of her had ended the music.
Like it always had.
Reclining in her chair, she waited for the pain to stop…waited…waited…
Would the pain really ever stop though?
***
Misato glared dumbfounded at the blue-haired girl. Tapping her drumsticks together, she pointed at the sheet music in front of her. "Can you at least TELL me when you're going to change beat or at least what tone you want?" Ruffling through to the end, she pointed at the third and the fourth bar. "How do you want to do this?"
Maya groaned inwardly. It was the last day before the concert and the band of Rei and company was still trying to eke out a coexistence. Ever since the practice rehearsal, Misato had been a bit testy and Shinji had almost disappeared into another bout of nothingness. Rei…well…was Rei…which in there was half the problem.
She was a brilliant singer. She could easily adapt to any music presented to her with a voice that made water look solid. She could make her voice run loops around any melody and stop on a dime…which again is what she usually did.
So thus the background players were forced to play a song they weren't sure would stay constant and if anything, Rei HATED being directed by a background. Impartial irritation flashed through her eyes as she stated for the fifth time, "Just follow my lead."
Misato exploded. "WHAT LEAD?! You change beat every fifth measure just to get a kick and it's not like I even know what's going to come next! Why don't we just stick to the music on the sheet!"
Rei's voice brooked no discussion. "No."
Breaking in between the two before Misato went ballistic, Shinji interposed himself between the singer and the drummer. He spoke soothingly to Misato. "Look…we'll come up with a definite melody later…and for now Misato, just play it the way it is. It might not fit now, but it's the best start we have."
Misato glowered at the boy who rapidly felt his spine begin to disintegrate. Crossing her arms, she exclaimed, "Fine! We'll do that! I want to see how far we get tonight."
Shinji looked at Rei, who after the minutest hesitation, nodded sullenly. He pointed at Hyuga, "Ok, let's take it from the top…"
Misato grumbled under her breath, "I bet she didn't even fire the bands before her…I bet they all freakin quit!"
"Recital Take 12…and go…"
Shinji winced as sighed as immediately Rei's flawless voice clashed directly with Misato's flawless playing. Why was such perfection always wasted…?
***
Rei grimaced slightly as her right hand reacted bitterly as she tried to pick up her cup of tea. Ignoring the pain, she picked up the cup nonetheless and took a sip.
Walking into the cafeteria, Shinji slid a seat in front of her and tossed a First Aid kit on the table. "I wouldn't put too much pressure on that hand of yours. You aggravate it too much and it'll become infected."
A flash of surprise lit her eyes before Rei clamped down and replied coolly, "I don't think it's any of your concern." Her grip tightened on the cup as she tried to hide her wound, "I am still quite able to sing."
"But if you can't hold your microphone, that might be a problem." Shinji motioned for her to let him see her palm. "If that happens, Misato'll probably want to take lead role."
The bait worked perfectly. Grudgingly setting the cup on the table, Rei gingerly laid her hand palm up and looked away.
Shaking his head, Shinji examined the gaping bruise. "You probably don't want to wear your glove for a long time. There's a good chance you might get it infected…" He sucked in his breath. "The bruise is split all across the middle and its still bleeding…you can still see the fingernail marks." Flipping the med box open, he withdrew a cotton swab and lightly dipped it in alcohol. Running the swab over her wound, Rei didn't even so much as blink.
Shinji shook his head. "You're amazing…I remember I was screaming my lungs out when Misato did this to me."
Rei looked at Shinji over the corner of her eye. "Why?"
"It was after our first concert…I was so scared. I gripped my guitar wires too hard and lacerated my hand in four different places." Shinji shrugged. "We didn't have enough money to get a real doctor so Misato had Ritsuko stitch me up herself." He chuckled, "I didn't even get past the alcohol before I was already crying."
Throwing the blood-crusted swab away, Shinji picked up a bandage and began wrapping it around her hand. Almost forcefully, Rei asked, "How did you know?"
"I noticed during the press conference that you were already bleeding." He looked curiously at Rei, "You don't like being around other people much do you?"
Rei bit out, "That's none of your concern."
Blushing, Shinji focused on his task at hand. "Sorry…I didn't mean to pry." Unwrapping the gauze from the roll, he gingerly began wrapping it tightly. "If it hurts, tell me."
"I don't care." Flatly averting her eyes, she sniffed. "It doesn't matter…"
Shinji sighed, "I tell myself that the whole time…but it doesn't help." Shinji shook his head. "Somewhere along the line…I needed to find the reason why I was playing." He smiled ruefully, "Ayanami-san…why do you sing?"
Rei's eyes flashed as her eyes hardened slightly.
Blushing, Shinji scratched the back of his head. "Sorry! I…I'm prying again…I'm sorry…"
"I sing because it's my connection to other people."
Shinji almost dropped the roll of gauze in his surprise; not expecting a response. "Eh?"
Rei continued, "In my singing…I reach out to people. It's my bond. That is why I can sing."
Wetting his lips, Shinji stated gently, "But…you're scared of those people…aren't you Ayanami-san? Those people you sing for…they don't understand you…so even if you're connecting with them, you're still separated."
Rei didn't interrupt him this time.
"I was scared…I didn't want to perform for people I didn't even know. Playing…was something I always did by myself. It was something I've never done with…or in front of other people." Taping the gauze on, Shinji pushed her hand back to her. "Here you go. Our break's nearly over…so…ja…"
Watching him pick up the box and leave, Rei suddenly stood up from her chair and spoke to his back, "So…did you ever get over it? The fear…"
Shinji paused and replied, "No...not really…but I did realize that I could play the way I wanted to…and the way I am…even though I'm still playing for strangers."
Rei asked quietly, "What do you mean?"
"I learned that even if I was connecting with those other people, I wasn't playing for them. I was playing for the other people on the stage. The only people who understood what I was doing and appreciated me for it. That's why it doesn't matter if you're in front of a crowd or in front of yourself."
So can they be playing…for me? Even if I'm not singing for them, can they still play for me? These people on the stage? Rei wet her lips. "Ikari-kun?"
"Eh?"
"Tell Katsurugi-san I want the opening at B and at two beat intervals." Sitting back down, she began sipping her tea as if nothing was possibly different in the world. He noticed she used her left hand this time.
Shinji smiled. "Hai Hai."
***
"Oi! Ayanami-san! We're up…DAMN…just listen to that!" Already the walls of the auditorium were thundering as veritably thousands of fans stamped, screamed, and stampeded in the stands. Rapping her door quickly, Shinji slid the sunglasses over his eyes and grinned. "I'll meet you at the reception room so hurry up."
Rei sat in front of the dresser mirror watching her reflection jump and quiver as the glass shook sporadically and at times seemed to be on the verge of shattering. Curiously, she looked at her right hand. Bandaged slightly, and although a bit sore, it was lying on the table completely still. Reaching into the drawer for her glove, she slid it over her hand. Her hand quivered as she almost reflexively began closing her hand over the palm.
But what would that do? If it meant not feeling pain now…it would mean feeling pain later…
The girl in the mirror, her reflection…stared back at her…and smiled.
Opening the door, the concert hall rocked as her name echoed across the entire auditorium. Walking through the hall to the stage where the curtain had yet to be raised, she found Shinji sitting on the speaker listening absentmindedly. Taking her place next to him, he smiled. "It's your name Ayanami-san…it's all for you."
Rei slid both hands around the microphone and asked softly, "Are you still scared?"
"Eh?"
"Don't be." Turning her head slightly, Shinji's heart skipped a beat as she offered a small smile. "I'm not going to let you be scared."
Shinji blushed and averted his eyes.
Sauntering into the room, Misato slapped her drumsticks together and grinned as she sat down. "HELL YEAH! THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" She cocked her ear, "Damn straight!"
As the PA system began blaring out ending introductions and the scream from the audience almost grew painful, Rei took a deep breath as the curtain began rising. "Let's rock."
And the room erupted into a maddening spiral of noise as the spotlight and the music poured through from everyone and everything…forcing the numbness, the pain and the fear to the side. Singing, playing, drumming for what seemed to be an entire world…when in reality, all that mattered was the three people on the stage…understanding what they were doing and appreciating what each other did.
Keep on playing. Find a reason between the lights, the sound, and the feel…
Find your own music. Cause this is J-Pop.
Tokyo J-Pop Gravitation
HOLY SHIT!! I CAN DIE A HAPPY FREAKIN MAN!!! I LIVED TO SEE AYANAMI LIVE IN CONCERT!! For ANYONE who missed it, take some time to reflect on your meaningless existence and than get your ass moving to pick up the second concert tickets! Release dates are open all the way until next week!
What are you doing reading this? MOVE!!
On other news, press releases have discovered that Ikari Shinji and Katsurugi Misato have both received a full year extension to their contracts making them the first band EVER to survive Ayanami Rei's attrition. And Misato can do a private interview WHENEVER she wants cause I don't even care if she's asking all the questions.
Asuka's release is scheduled to be on the same date as Ayanami Rei's second concert so expect the biggest bash this side of Japan. Mein Gott I'm so stoked. J-Pop vs. Ranting Germans…KUSO! Why can't I go to both?!
Look for it!
And before I forget, for all those who care…Chiii….!
Tossing the magazine to the side, Asuka muttered, "Wow, a blue-haired freak albino is the top thing in Japan. Those people have some serious issues."
Grinning, Kaji looked up from all his paperwork. "You seem confident Asuka-chan."
Giving him a droll expression, Asuka grinned. "Aww…c'mon Kaji-kun! It's only J-Pop. And besides…I'm the damn best."
Kaji shrugged, "That you are Asuka. Think the world is ready to know that?"
Smirking and stuffing her hands into her pockets, Asuka's eyes narrowed to feral slits. "Bring it…Ayanami Rei…"
~tbc~