"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend" The Fray, How to Save a Life
*Rebekka's POV:*
After Gabriel had left, the air was pushed out of my lungs and for a moment I thought that a train had derailed and rammed through the house walls. It might as well have since I couldn't breathe. I stagger backwards, tears rimming my eyes and blurring my vision. I sniffle as I lean against the wall. Did he love her too? Just the thought that he loved her back completely tore me apart. Oh Riley... Gritting my teeth together, I force myself to look away from her blurred silhouette but end up locking eyes with Lucifer - and that wasn't any better. He walks over to me slowly and puts a hesitant hand on my shoulder.
"Rebekka," he whispers softly. I jerk my shoulder back quickly like his touched burned my skin.
"Stay away from me," I grit out harshly, pushing myself away from the wall and walking stiffly to Riley's body. I manage to choke back a sob as I go to pick her up from the couch. The blood had stopped spewing from the wound but it still managed to stain the couch and drop onto the floors. I slide my arms under her - one under her scapulars and one under her knees, grimacing at the sticky liquid that was transferred to my forearms. I pick her up with ease and walk outside into the yard. The house was secluded, so there weren't any "neighbors" that could see what was going on.
I lay her gingerly on the ground and close her eyes so she's not staring blankly into space. I grab the first aid kit, cutting apart her shirt enough to see the wound on her chest clearly. Another sob threatens to rack my body when I see how deep the wound was. With shaky hands, I take out the needed supplies and start cleaning up the punctured skin. For a few precious moments, I manage to convince myself that Riley wasn't dead - she was just unconscious from the loss of blood.
By the time I was done, two towels were colored in red, the antiseptic was almost over, and my hands were wet and sticky with her blood. I could see her clearly; no tears were blocking my view. There was this ache inside me and I couldn't understand what it was. The dull ache grew, slowly numbing me.
It felt like a cage surrounding my heart started to become smaller, squeezing my heart into such a small space that I could barely breath - my heart wasn't working. I sit there, just looking at Riley, for at least the next twenty minutes. There was no expression on my face, no falling tears - only dried ones that left a stain on my cheeks, and no movement from me. I just sat there.
I guess I had decided to go back into the kitchen to make something because the next thing I know I'm staring and pots and pans and water and pasta and the stove. What am I doing here? I frown as I try to rack my brain to remember. Cooking. That's right. If you want to cook, you go into the kitchen. When I see a patch of colors move out of the corner of my eye, I turn my head to see lucifer walking towards me. My eyes burn from exhaustion - of crying maybe - and my eyelids shut halfway. I could see a sliver of the floor and two blurred tan objects - somewhat oval in shape. I realize that those are Lucifer's feet.
I gather enough energy to look up at him, open my eyes fully, and start to ask him what he wants for dinner. I needed some normalcy right now. Once again, he reaches out and puts his left hand on my cheek and his right on my shoulder. That simple touch had me crumbling into his frame, my hands clutch his shirt and I dig my face into his chest to muffle the sobs that racked through me. Both of his hands went to my back to support me since my legs had given out. I don't know how long we stood there - me crying into Lucifer's shirt and him just holding me till it was over. Pretty soon, I was just hiccuping when all my tears ran out. My eyes were closed and a soothing feeling took over my body. I faintly recognized the feeling of Luci's hand rubbing my back to calm me down.
"Do you want to go to sleep?" His voice was soft and velvety but it sounded muffled and far away. Then again, that may just be me. I nod my head, too tired for words, and wince softly when even that proved to be exhausting for me. He picks me up bridal style and starts to walk. Bedroom maybe...isn't that where people sleep? Yeah, I think it is. On most other days, I'd laugh and tell him to put me down - "I can walk for myself!" I'd yell - but right now I just curled up into his strong arms, a stray tear making it's way down my cheek. I knew because I could feel the icy coldness it left behind. I don't know if Lucifer put me in bed or not. All I know is that suddenly, a warmness cocooned me like a blanket. It felt like smooth, silky. I push back against Luci's chest when his arm enveloped me and let the silk coax me into the darkness of sleep. But before sleep overtook me, for a moment, I thought Riley was still alive. Just on a job. Goodnight Riley. I was half expecting Riley to respond. But she didn't. She was gone. And goodbye.