Diclaimer: I don't own the characters or the series. Amano Akira does. I'm just playing with them for a bit.

A/N: This one is "first date".

Date Disasters

Dino gave a weary sigh as he collapsed on his couch. "I swear, Kyouya," he murmured, "If I didn't like you so much, I would kill you for this."

"So aggressive, Cavallone." Kyouya didn't even look towards him from where he was seated on the floor of Dino's living room, too busy playing with his newest toy. "I might remind you all this was your idea."

"My idea was to take you to the zoo, since you like animals," Dino said. "I never expected you would turn it into such a disaster."

"It wasn't a disaster," Kyouya claimed. "I didn't disappear on you, or hit you, or do anything else to harm you. I even tolerated your annoying herbivore tendencies to cling close."

"Being close is the point of going on a date, Kyouya!" he protested. "I'm sure you knew that much before you agreed to go with me!"

"I agreed to go because I was promised cute animals." Kyouya gave him a glare. As though he was the bad guy in this! "Don't read too much into it, Cavallone."

"Worry not, I never would." He knew Kyouya better than that. Sometimes it seemed that one step forward with the Cloud Guardian meant sliding two steps back. Then again, running away might have been the only way he could have gotten Kyouya interested in himself, he thought, resigned. Being open about his attraction didn't seem to work.

Kyouya didn't seem too interested in keeping up the conversation, turning his attention back to his toy. For such a violent, antisocial individual, he did have his soft sides, Dino thought, his frown making way for a faint smile. It was almost heart-warming to see Kyouya play with the huge stuffed toy he had coerced Dino into buying for him. Dino wasn't sure what was the purpose of his actions, but they seemed to involve setting Enzo, Roll, and Hibird in various positions over the body of the huge tiger and poking them to move. Since both the animals and Kyouya seemed more or less content with this, he decided not to risk annoying Kyouya and making him stop.

"I sure hope you're happy with your lifetime ban to the zoo." Yes, he was still annoyed enough to take that dig in.

"As though they'll ever stick to it." Kyouya frowned, trying to get Enzo to balance over the head of the tiger. "If I march up to the gate, they will never dare to stop me from entering."

"They might make an exception just for you." Dino shook his head, exasperated. "It's one thing to bully everyone into listening to you, Kyouya. Setting dozens of wild animals free just to amuse yourself is just not something you're supposed to do."

"It wasn't just for my amusement," Kyouya argued, moving on from Enzo to repositioning Hibird. "They wanted to get out."

"They're not supposed to be out, though. They're in a zoo, not out in the wild," Dino pointed out. "How would you even expect them to survive here in Namimori? The only prey for them is humans!"

"Don't be an idiot." The glance Kyouya gave him at last indicated an idiot this was what he considered Dino to be, in any case. "I didn't expect them to survive here. Of course they'd be caught again."

"But – that – why –" Gaping at Kyouya for a moment, Dino then sank back into the couch with a sigh. "Forget it. I'll never understand you anyway."

"Good for you that you accept that." There was a small smirk on Kyouya's face as he returned to his game.

It could have been worse, really, Dino reminded himself as he looked at Kyouya playing. Aside from the disaster with various predators set free among the unsuspecting zoo visitors, everything had gone better than he'd dared to expect. As Kyouya had already said, he had allowed Dino to cling close, as long as his men didn't crowd them too much. Up until the first screams, it had gone almost like a normal date. And afterwards, after Dino had been lectured to a sufficient extent by the zoo staff, Kyouya had still decided to go with him. Sure, he'd acted like it was Dino's own fault he got scolded, but he hadn't just disappeared.

It was almost amusing, Dino thought, that the zoo staff felt safer yelling at the blonde with multiple tattoos and very intimidating men all in black guarding him than at a single teenager. Amusing, and a bit frightening. He knew that Kyouya had all of Namimori under his thumb, of course, but seeing such indicators of the extent of his power was just... scary.

Now the chaos was over, though, and there were no more lectures, just Kyouya and small animals that were more or less harmless at the moment and the apartment Dino had got himself in Namimori. Of course, Kyouya's presence here was owed for the most part to Romario's promise to arrive soon with hamburgers from Kyouya's favourite restaurant, but still, he hadn't disappeared. That alone was enough to make Dino feel somewhat hopeful.

There was a crash from the direction of his bedroom, and Dino winced. "Aaand there goes the flower vase."

Kyouya's head snapped up. "You mean, it got shattered?" As Dino nodded, yes this was what had happened judging from the sound, his eyes widened. "And you're just lying there? What are you waiting for? He'll hurt himself!"

"Kyouya, each of his paws is bigger than the vase," Dino whined. "I'm sure he can't be hurt that much."

"You don't know that!" Kyouya bounced up to his feet, glaring at Dino. "Go and see that he's all right, now! It's bad enough you decided to lock him up there, now take some responsibility!"

"How is it my fault that you decided to drag him here?" Dino grumbled. He still couldn't understand just how Kyouya had managed that without his noticing before it was too late, but the fact was, he had. "I had to lock him up for both his and our safety!"

"Oh, please. He's just a big kitty, he wouldn't hurt anyone." Well, not Kyouya, at least. Trust him to make even the most dangerous animals afraid of him. "I'm losing my patience, Cavallone."

"Fine, fine." Sighing, Dino stood up, heading towards his bedroom. "Just so you know," he said as he started working on the lock, "he's going home as soon as Romario returns."

"So selfish." Kyouya pouted like a petulant child. "I thought this date was supposed to make me happy?"

"I already bought you the stuffed tiger. That's the part with the date," Dino said with a wry tone. Ah, there, lock open. "Hosting dangerous predators in my house afterwards is not part of the regular date procedure."

"I told you, he's not dangerous!"

Yeah, right, Dino thought as he went to his bedroom. Well, what was left of it. Leaving a frustrated beast locked up meant pretty much everything was trashed up. He'd have to send some men out hoping there was still some form of a furniture store open if he didn't want to sleep on a couch tonight.

The live tiger gave him a look of absolute disdain, lying over the remains of his bed. The vase that had been on his window sill, Dino noted, lay now in shards on the floor, flicked there by the big cat's tail, no doubt. Forcing himself to stay calm, he walked over to pick the shards. "No panic," he told the beast. "I'll be gone soon." As though the cat had any reason to panic.

"I want another pet if you make me return him," he heard Kyouya's voice from the living room.

"I'll get you a puppy," he shouted back.

There was a pause. Then, "A wolf puppy?"

Dino sighed, wondering what had ever made him fall for Kyouya.