Okay, so this is just a small chapter fic I had an idea to do-each chapter is based on a song by a different artist-they are all country songs because that's what I grew up listening to, so no complaining! It's all very PG until the fourth chapter, but at that point be on the lookout for smut! Hope you enjoy!
Inspired by the song "Back to December" by Taylor Swift
It was six months after the breakup with Draco and Harry was fidgeting nervously in his living room as he waited for the blonde to show up; they had run into each other in Diagon Alley yesterday, and Harry had asked Draco to come over, just to talk-he was shocked but pleased when the blonde agreed. Just as Harry was starting to think that Draco wouldn't show, Kreacher came in bowing.
"Master Harry, Young Master Malfoy is here to see you," Kreacher said, dancing excitedly, "Is the masters getting back together? Master Malfoy is good for Master Harry."
"We're just talking," Harry said quickly, "Show him in and then bring us some tea."
"Yes, Master Harry!" Kreacher bowed again and left the room; a moment later Draco entered, looking decidedly uncomfortable and trying to hide it behind his Malfoy mask.
"Hi Draco," Harry greeted nervously, "Have a seat; Kreacher is getting us some tea."
"Thank you," Draco said stiffly, taking the seat across from Harry, just as the tea tray appeared on the coffee table in front of them. An uncomfortable silence ensued, finally broken by Harry.
"So, how have you been?" he asked, "I haven't seen you in a while; are you parents doing well?"
"I have been good," Draco replied, "Very busy with work, so I haven't been going out as much. Mother and Father are doing fine as well; they are currently vacationing in Italy with the Zabini's. Did you know Pansy and Blaise are engaged?"
They continued to make small talk and Draco seemed to relax a bit, but Harry had known him far too intimately to be fooled and could tell that the blonde was still uncomfortable, which made him feel guilty because he knew it was all his fault.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.
Draco excused himself to use the restroom and Harry leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he thought about the circumstances that had brought them to this point…
It was a clear December night; Harry and Draco were alone in the gazebo in Draco's private garden with the night-blooming flowers glowing softly in the moonlight. In one hand Harry held the bouquet of silver roses Draco had given him, the other hand was held firmly in Draco's own as the blonde's grey eyes captured his own.
Draco told Harry he loved him, couldn't imagine life without him, and Harry felt panic rising in his chest-no! It was too soon! He was young, he wasn't ready to give up his newly earned freedom yet! Inwardly he begged Draco to stop before it was too late, but he was unable to say anything as the blonde proposed to him. Finally Harry broke out of his paralysis, startling Draco with a vehement "no" as he came to the conclusion that this was some sort of trick. He jumped to his feet, babbling about this being a mistake as he ran out of the garden, leaving Draco and the Star Roses behind.
It was only a week ago that Harry had confessed the truth about what happened to Hermione, and she had been shocked, to say the least. She had berated him for leaving Draco without an explanation, and then when he described the roses she slapped him upside the head calling him stupid in a multitude of different languages before telling him that Draco had given him Star Roses. These roses were magical in nature, and could only be gathered by someone in love; what's more, if the person the roses were given to did not return the givers love then the roses would immediately wilt and die. Since this had not happened, Harry obviously returned Draco's feelings, and Hermione had ordered him to find the blonde, saying that Draco at least deserved to know the truth.
Which is why the two men were currently having an uncomfortable tea in Harry's living room.
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.
These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about the summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I'd loved you in the fall.
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.
"Look Harry," Draco began as he came back into the room, "Maybe I should just go; I can tell my being here makes you uncomfortable-we can try this again some other time, maybe in a tea shop."
"No, please," Harry stood up, reaching out a hand as if to stop him, "I know you don't really want to be here, but there is something I need to tell you." He sensed the blonde's hesitation and added, "Please Draco." Draco sighed and nodded as he sat back down. Harry returned to his seat as well and looked at his hands for a moment before raising his eyes to meet Draco's questioning gaze.
"I need to tell you I'm sorry for what I did back in December," Harry began, holding up a hand to stop Draco as the blonde opened his mouth to interrupt him, "Please don't Draco; just let me explain before you say anything." He waited for Draco's nod before continuing, "I think about that night all the time, and I know that the way I reacted, leaving without an explanation, was wrong; I should have stayed and talked to you, and I'm sorry I didn't."
"Why didn't you?" Draco demanded softly, "I had thought things were going so well between us, and the roses…when you rejected my proposal out of hand and ran off, it really hurt; especially since this wasn't the first time you rejected me." Harry hung his head in shame at the mention of the train ride in first year, when a young, misguided Draco had extended his hand in friendship, only to have Harry coolly reject him.
"I panicked," Harry replied, referring to the proposal, "I didn't feel like I was ready for a commitment, and in my panic I convinced myself it was a trap, and that I had to leave, to retain my freedom." He gave a wry smile, "Since then, I've realized that having freedom is not worth the pain of missing you." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I don't really sleep too well these days, because I am guilt-wracked by the way I acted; I spend most nights imaging what would have happened if I had taken the time to talk to you about my fears, or even where we would be now if I had pushed them aside and accepted your proposal. In my mind, I always go back to December and change my mind." There was silence for a few minutes as the men drank their tea, before Harry spoke up once more.
"I spend a lot of time remembering the good times we had," he told Draco, "Remember when you learned how to drive the motorcycle?" Draco gave a small smile in remembrance as Harry closed his eyes, "I can still see you laughing with the thrill of it as you drove it off the roof of the manor, plummeting towards the ground before you pulled up and we flew through the air for hours…I think I fell in love with you then, although it took me a few more months to discover it…then December came and I never had anything good last for so long…"he trailed off and the room lapsed into silence once more, both boys lost in their thoughts.
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.
"We had a lot of fun together," it was Draco who broke the silence that time, "but there were also some harder times, like that night in September…"
"I remember," Harry whispered, closing his eyes against the memory, "I had been out with Blaise and Pansy, shopping for Halloween costumes at Pansy's insistence…we were attacked by some people who had lost family members in the war, and they blamed all Slytherin's; they told me I had been brainwashed and tied me up, taking away my wand so all I could do was watch helplessly as the cursed them both…"
"But you did more than watch," Draco reminded him, "That was the night you realized that you could do wandless magic; you broke free and punished those who hurt our friends, and got Blaise and Pansy to St. Mungos to be healed. That was also the first time I ever saw you cry." He slowly reached out his hand to cover Harry's, "I remember that I held you all night as you cried and fumed about the unfairness of it all." Harry opened his eyes and was met with a compassionate grey gaze that gave him hope.
"I know that I did wrong by you," Harry said, "But, oh Merlin! I have missed you so much Dray! I miss the sweet smile you saved just for me, and you were so good to me; when you gave me your love before I was so scared that I ran away, but I would like another chance." He took a deep breath before continuing, "Please, Draco; what we had was so special, and I know I screwed it up, but I want to make it up to you. If you give me another chance, I swear I'll treat you right, and treasure you like I should have before. I'd go back in time and change it if I could, but I can't, so I understand if it's too late, but I just had to try." He looked at Draco; emerald eyes sparkling with tears as he breathlessly waited for his answer.
But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.
"Harry, I can't," Draco replied, squeezing Harry's hand briefly before letting it go, "I leave tomorrow for America on business, and I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I just don't have the time to work on a relationship right now, no matter how much I might want to." He gave a sad smile as tears streamed down the brunette's face. "If it helps any, I forgive you," Draco said, standing to leave; he walked over to Harry's chair and kissed him on the forehead, "I'll be gone anywhere from a few months to a year, but when I get back maybe we can do this again, okay?" Harry nodded his head silently, unable to speak for fear that he would start sobbing. Draco seemed to understand, for he gave a last, sad smile and then walked out of the room.
Harry listened carefully and, when he heard the front door close, he finally gave into the tears, sobbing brokenheartedly into his hands for a few minutes before he got himself under control. Draco had forgiven him, he reminded himself, and he didn't reject Harry because he didn't care for him anymore, but rather because he was going to be out of the country for an unknown amount of time. Maybe, Harry thought with a smile, maybe he would get another chance when Draco returned; he supposed he would just have to wait and see.
An: This is a really short chapter, and the following chapters will be short as well. The whole story will be posted today though, and for those of you reading Goblin King, I am still working on it and should have another chapter posted soon; if not today then in the next couple of days. Please review!