Chapter 3
He put his phone away with a sigh. It broke his heart ignoring the calls from Syed, but he couldn't allow himself to be sucked back in. He realised now that Syed would never make the decision to tell Amira the truth, and he couldn't face the lying anymore. If he turned back now, then it would go on and an endlessly. The promises, the backtracking, the eternal swing from hope to despair. No, it was enough. This was the right, the only, decision.
He should have gone to see Jane though. Lucy, Peter and Bobby, too. Even Ian. Then there was Roxy and Amy. He owed them all a proper goodbye. The least, the very least he should have done was call to let them know he was leaving.
But he couldn't do it. Couldn't face the concern. The questions. They would try and persuade him to stay, and, because the thought of leaving Syed was so completely soul destroying, he would have let himself be persuaded. He had to be strong. Be selfish. He had to go.
He would send a text saying he was gone and would be in touch once he knew where he would be living. Jane could forward his things on to him. He need never go back to the square again. Need never see Syed again. The pain twisted his gut, a rat gnawing at his heart. He pushed it down ruthlessly. He couldn't think of Syed. Not yet. It was all still too raw. Maybe it always would be, but he had to al least try to move on with his life.
He stood as he heard his flight being called, striding determinedly towards the gate.