Quinn woke up to her cell phone's alarm that she had set before settling to bed the night before. She jumped at the sound blaring then blinked in confusion. The unfamiliar roses on the wallpaper facing her gave her a moment of panic. Where was she and what was she doing there? She looked around the room and the happenings from the day before came rushing back into her mind. She was at Rachel's and Finn wanted nothing to do with her. She dropped back down in the bed. Why should she bother getting up? How was she going to face everyone at school who by now would have heard the latest gossip about the mess she had made of her life? Before yesterday she at least had the support of the other students in the Glee club. How would they treat her today now that they knew she lied about the paternity of her baby? A rapping on the bedroom door made her jump.
"Quinn? Are you awake?" Rachel called through the still closed door.
Sighing, Quinn replied, "I'm awake." She pulled the blankets around her saying, "You can come in."
Rachel opened the door and stepped inside already fully dressed and looking much too alert for 6:30 in the morning. "Did you sleep well Quinn? I wasn't sure if you would have an alarm or if you awake to your own internal alarm or if you needed to be woken up so I decided that to be safe I should make sure that you were awake so that you have time to get ready before we have to leave for school," she said in one breath.
Rubbing her eyes and stretching before replying Quinn said, "I slept fine and I set my cell phone alarm last night but thanks for coming to check on me even though I really do not want to go to school today."
Rachel looked at Quinn with concern. "Are you sick?"
"If I say I do, will you tell your dads I can stay home?" Quinn asked only half seriously.
"You want me to lie to my dads about your health?" Rachel asked, looking horrified.
"How did you keep coming to school day after day when you knew you were going to be humiliated and degraded? I know everyone will have heard about my lying to Finn and I can just imagine the kind of things they will be saying to me. I just want to go back to sleep and stay asleep until everyone has forgotten about me."
"I went to school everyday because if I didn't then it would have given everyone more power over me. I couldn't stop people from treating me the way they do but I could control how I responded to the treatment. If I choose to hold my head up and smile like it is not bothering me, then I have the power because I am not letting them stop me from doing what I want to do or stop me from being where I want to be. It will be the same way for you Quinn. People will say horrible things to you and do mean things to try to make you feel bad about what you did. You already feel bad about lying to Finn and you know that what you did was wrong. What would letting other people make you feel worse do to make things better? Would it change what you did? Would it make it better for Finn? You can't change what you did but you can control how you act about it all now. Hold your head up high admit that you made a mistake then keep walking. Nobody has the right to judge you when they don't know what it is like to be in your situation," Rachel said with conviction.
Once again Quinn felt ashamed for how many times she had been the one to torment Rachel. She had never really tried to get to know the younger girl, instead choosing to take out her own feelings of insecurity by humiliating her. How could Rachel stand to allow her to live in her house after all that she had been responsible for? Not able to meet Rachel's eyes, Quinn replied "I never should have treated you the way that I did. That was another mistake I made and I don't know how to make up for what I did to you. I can't understand how you can stand to be near me let alone let me stay here."
"Maybe now that you are on the other side of things, you won't be so fast to judge someone else. Being different from yourself does not mean being wrong or bad Quinn. Maybe now you will have a chance to change how you treat people. I have already told you that I forgive you and that is the last I want to hear about it. Today when you enter school, go in as if you are still Quinn Fabray Head Cheerleader. Pretend that you don't care what they are saying or thinking and eventually you will realize that you really don't care anymore," Rachel told her.
"Thanks Rachel. I guess I better get ready so I can get this day over with," Quinn said as she threw the blankets off of her and stood up. "What time do you usually leave for school?"
"I always leave the driveway at 7:20am. Dad has a plate of pancakes in the oven staying warm for you so just come down to the kitchen once you are ready. I'm going to leave you alone so you can get dressed. I'll see you downstairs," Rachel answered as she headed out to the hallway.
Alone once more, Quinn went to the closet to look at her clothing to decide what she should wear this morning. Should she choose something that would make her less noticeable or would choosing something that she typically did not wear make her stand out more? Maybe Rachel knew what she was talking about. After all, she had been coming to school everyday knowing she would be teased and slushied more often then not. Throwing her head back, she picked out her baby blue dress then headed into the bathroom to get ready.
Rachel finished getting her backpack ready for the day, double checking to be sure she had replaced all her books and had all her homework. She sat down at the kitchen table and grabbed an orange to eat while waiting for Quinn to come downstairs to eat her breakfast. She had just finished peeling the orange when she heard the shower stop overhead. Figuring that Quinn would be coming down soon, Rachel got up and lowered the temperature of the oven so that the pancakes wouldn't be dried out when she was ready to eat. As Rachel was finishing eating the orange, Quinn came down the stairs with her backpack. She entered the kitchen, looking at Rachel unsure of what she should do or where she should go next. "Just put your bag on the counter next to mine," Rachel told her as she got up from the table. She walked over to the oven, shut it off, grabbed a potholder then reached inside to remove the plate of pancakes. "My dad buttered them for you when they were just off the griddle. Do you use maple syrup or do you prefer a jam or marmalade?"
Quinn put her bag down then walked over to the table and sat down at the empty placemat. "Syrup is fine thank you. I usually just grab a yogurt and some cereal so this is a pretty big breakfast meal for me," she said with a laugh. "Does your dad make breakfasts like this every morning?"
"Dad makes breakfast about 3 mornings a week and daddy makes breakfast 2 mornings a week. On weekends we usually go out for brunch somewhere. When daddy makes breakfast, it usually consists of cereal with fruit cut into it," Rachel explained with a grin. "Dad enjoys cooking while daddy would rather just make something quick."
"My mom is still in bed when I leave in the morning and my dad is gone before I get downstairs so I just get my own breakfast. Even if my dad was still there, he wouldn't know how to make anything more difficult then coffee," Quinn said as she poured the syrup over the pancakes and began cutting them up on her plate.
Rachel sat back down, looking serious now she asked, "How do you want to handle our arriving at school together? If you want, I can park in the back of the lot and we can walk in separately so that your friends won't see us together."
Sighing Quinn replied, "Rachel, what friends are going to see us together? How many friends do you think I still have after the story got around that I lied to Finn? Did you hear anyone else offering me a place to stay? Did you hear my cell phone ringing last night with calls from all my friends checking to make sure I was okay? Seeing the two of us walk into school together can't possibly hurt my reputation anymore then it has already been damaged."
"I'm sorry that your friends are not here to help you with all of this Quinn but if they have turned against you over the mistakes you have made, then they are not good friends to begin with. Give people some time and maybe they will see that being your friend is more important then being popular and if you give the rest of the Glee club time to realize that it is only between you, Finn and Noah, they will come around too. I still am offering you my friendship if you want it," Rachel replied hopefully.
"As much as it amazes me to say this, right now Rachel Berry I think you are my only friend. If you are really willing to forgive me for all that I did to you and to put up with my pregnant mood swings, I guess that I better accept your offer because if I don't then I will really be all alone," Quinn said ruefully.
Rachel grinned as she lunged forward and grabbed Quinn in a tight hug. "You won't have to be alone Quinn!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I can help you get through all of this and even if you decide that you don't want to be friends with me when things get better, at least I will be glad to know that I could help you."
Quinn was struck by how easy it was for Rachel to assume that if her old friends wanted to be back in her life, that she would just abandon Rachel for them. "How many times has she been through this in her life," Quinn thought to herself while Rachel continued to ramble on happily about how they could work on their vocals together during the evenings. "Rachel if we do become friends, real friends, not just an acquaintance that you feel sorry for, it won't matter if my other friends and I work things out. I won't just drop you," Quinn interrupted.
"First of all Quinn, I don't just feel sorry for you. I think that you are a very bright student with a voice that is nearly as good as mine, although it does get sharp at times but we can work on that and then your voice will be one of the top ones in the Glee club. I also think that you have made some mistakes but you are taking responsibility for the mistakes you have made and trying to do the right thing now. That is never an easy thing to do. I think you are one of the strongest people I have ever met and I admire your strength and your courage. I want to be your friend because of the person that I see inside you now that you are not hiding behind your Head Cheerio persona. I think the real Quinn is a much better person then the Quinn that everyone thought was the real one. I want to be friends with the real Quinn who cares about the unborn child she is carrying and who wants a chance to start things anew," Rachel said filled with a passion.
Quinn felt the tears welling inside her eyes again. "Thanks Rachel. I don't think I am as strong or as good of a person that you think I am but thank you for seeing that I am someone more then just the Head Cheerio. I am not sure who I am anymore now that things have changed so much and I guess it is going to take time for me to find out who I am and who I want to be now that my future isn't all lined up for me anymore."
"Don't cry, remember that you are not alone in this and if you need someone to talk to, I will be just one room away from you," Rachel said as she stood up and threw out the orange peels and placed her empty milk glass in the dishwasher. "Are you almost ready? It is nearly 7:15AM now so we need to be getting ready to leave."
Quinn finished her last few bites of pancakes and drank the remainder of her milk. She stood up, pushed her chair in and took her dishes to the dishwasher. She washed her hands off in the sink then picked up her backpack. "I guess I am as ready as I am going to be to face the day," she said with a sigh. "Are you sure I can't convince you that staying home would be a better way to spend the day?" she asked.
Rachel picked up her own backpack and grabbed her keys off the table. "The longer that you put it off, the harder it will become. Think of it as being like jumping into a pool of chilly water. If you just jump in, it feels like you will die from the cool water but then in a minute you are over the shock and feel fine. If you lower your body into the pool slowly then the pain is not so intense but it hurts for quite a while longer because you have to keep shocking your body a little more every step. Right now Quinn you have to just jump in and get it over with. After today, people will start to forget about your embarrassment because it will all be old news and the insults will already have been said so the sting will start to fade."
"I guess you're right. Let's get it over with then," Quinn said shakily as she followed Rachel out to the car.