the complete package
Part 3
"Hello?"
"Willow? Hey. Its Cordy."
"Oh. Hi Cordelia. How are - things?"
"They're great. We're all fine. You?"
"Everyone's doing okay. Especially afterWe're just - getting by."
"Sorry, Will. But right now, I need a favor," Cordy said, twirling the phone cord around her finger. "You being Computer Girl, and me being - just Vision Girl, I um There's a problem."
"What is it? Do you - Oh! Do you need me to y'know, fix up a spell, or something?" Willow sounded perkier now that work was involved.
"NoooSpell free at the moment. Seethere's a thing that needs to be solv–"
"Cordelia, would you just get on with it?" Angel's voice.
"Ugh! Fiine!" Willow pictured Cordy sticking her tongue out at Angel, then listened patiently as she continued, "We have a robot."
"A what?"
"I think it's a robot. Unless demons are now starting to go with the whole techno trend. Basically, it's sparks and lights up, but our premises are Christmas tree free."
"So, it's like Moloch. Or - or Ted?"
"Not in the seriously wanting to kill way. The thing looks like Angel."
"An Angel robot?"
"Yeah. I mean, here I am, ready to go out to dinner, and all of a sudden this guy just swoops in with his flashy duster and leather pants - Yeah, you heard right - and for all I know, he could've pulled some Terminator thing on me!"
"He lookedexactly like Angel? The whole deal?"
"The whole thing. I thought you might know about this kind of stuff. Not that you're some computer scientist or anything just - you know?"
Willow figured Cordy had either gone back to babbling, almost killed mode, or something else was wrong. Contrary to popular Scooby Gang belief, Cordy wasn't the girl she used to be back in Sunnydale High. In many ways, almost the opposite. She still cared about clothes and other little things, but her job as Angel's seer changed her, making her see that other people needed help.
And then, there was Buffy's funeral. Cordy and Angel didn't attend since they were in that other demon dimension at the time, but when they went to Sunnydale, Cordy had been Angel's support, always there for him, checking up on him to see whether he could deal or not.
"Something like that happened a few months ago. There was this guy - Warren! Yeah, that's it. He - he made this robot girlfriend, even a Buffy bot for Spike, too."
"Spike got a Buffy bot? For what?"
"It's umIt's a long story. Maybe Warren made the Angel robot for you?"
"I didn't ask for some robot. I really don't need another guy who has no idea about the word: 'socialize'."
"Cordy" Angel again.
"Ugh. He's like a little kid sometimes."
"Cordelia. Is the robot clingy or something? Like wanting to be nice to everyone? 'Cause that's how Warren's other robots are."
Willow heard some scuffling sounds, imagining Cordy covering up the phone, private. "He did get all more than clingy, to me."
"More than cling– Oh. I get it. I think."
"Uh, yeah! Angel punched Angel out. The um, Angel-bot, I mean."
"Maybe I can - go there and try to figure out how it works? See what it's programmed for, and who asked Warren to build it," Willow suggested, hearing some more muffled noises.
"Willow?"
"Angel?"
"Yeah, it's me. We've got this robot on our hands, and I thought you might know about that stuff. You can come over if you want, but I'm going to try and stop some demon from eating a girl. Cordy had a vision. We're going out - to stop the demon, I mean."
"I can try to go there. Before - you know - the robot goes haywire and tries killing all of you guys I'll go now."
"You do that. Thanks, Willow."
Angel politely said good-bye, then turned his cell phone off. Always ready to help, that's Willow. He turned around to see Cordy kneeling in front of the small couch where they had propped up the Angel-bot, his eyes closed.
Angel – the real one – walked over to where the robot sat, frowning at him.
"It's soweird," Cordy whispered, tilting her head as she looked at the android. "It's you - but not really. And he acts Well, he doesn't act like you, exactly"
What does she mean by that? Angel raised an eyebrow, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trenchcoat. "Sure, he may look like me, but he's not a very good replica. I mean Look at him."
Cordy looked from Angel, to the robot, as Angel sat down next to his 'twin'.
"Oh, right. There's no resemblance whatsoever," Cordelia drawled, giving Angel a look.
Angel scowled at her, then stood up, making Cordy stand up also. "Come on. We have that vision of yours to worry about."
"You're right. I guess we could just - leave it here? No. Wait. What if it wakes up?"
"It's not going to. I trashed it."
"But Angel–" Cordy stopped as Angel raised a hand to silence her. He pointed to the robot, whose hand started to move.
"C-CordeliaWhere are you? I got confused and broken, and - and I missed you!"
"Okay, this guy's starting to freak me out."
Repeat Data?:
Yes
Target:
Cordelia Chase
Statistics:
Likes clothing
Actress
Tactless
Mission:
Intercept target, proceed with– #23#@$32zxVzz#@433
24#*!$^%leader, findVxZyyI SD%V&^Primary and friends,
report GF%I&DS21 W&H.
Mission Accepted?
Yes
»Cordelia, I love you. Let's go upstairsple–
"–ase? I missed you, and I need you."
"We don't have time for this. The girl? The demon? Remember, Cordy?" Angel grabbed her elbow, his tone serious and impatient.
"She's okay, right now. The demon moved on to something bigger to eat. She - Oh! She went to Anne's shelter I can see it," Cordelia murmured, gripping his arm with her fingers. She put a hand to her forehead, wincing. "It's still hungry."
Angel frowned, taking a step back in apprehension while the Angel-bot stood up, shaking his head. "Where did you come from? And I don't have time to wait, so hurry it up."
The Angel-bot reached forward and pulled Cordy to him. "I don't understand that question. I'm sorry, but Cordelia is mine. She belongs to me, and I'm more than willing enough to please her, whichever way that may be. Thank you for asking."
"Uh When you say - you want to please me - I don't knowwhich way do you mean?" Cordy asked, looking intrigued.
"Cordelia" Angel growled.
"By any means possible. Whether sex or even buying things for you, I'm your faithful servant. Even if you do have odd preferences for pleasure, I'm well skilled in those sorts of areas! In fact, I even know how to–"
Angel shook his head, mouth agape in horror. "Okay! We get it!"
"Oh, really?" Cordy's eyebrows quirked upward.
Angel looked from his twin, then to Cordy. She tugged on the twin's arm, nodding to the confused vampire in front of her.
"We have to take him with us. Please, Angel? I mean, look at him!"
"It's not like he's some lost puppy, Cordelia."
"Please?" Sure, Angel had faced countless demons and destroyers of humanity. He even traveled to Hell and came back. Although all those nasty experiences never measured up to the 140 plus years he committed savagery as Angelus.
But this? This was worse.
She gave him that puppy dog look, the one he'd perfected so well.
No Not that. Anything - but that!
"Cordelia? Are you feeling all right? Maybe I could get you a magazine, or I could give you–"
"I'm all right, Angelrobot guy."
"But Cordy, I want to be helpful for you. How about that alley over there? It's not that very damp, and perfectly secluded to have se–"
"No thanks, okay?!"
Holding his forehead in frustration, Angel looked back at the two following him, Cordelia, his best friend and seer, and the robot they deemed the Angel-bot, following Cordy like a dog to a leash. In between their outbursts of mostly sexual related conversation, Cordy would mention flashes of her vision, and odd feelings or vibes she received from the demon they were after.
Angel hadn't counted on suddenly getting a 'twin'. For the most part, the replica was nothing like him. Angel would never wear leather all the time, because of his past memories of Angelus. Also, the fact that all the Angel-bot wanted to do was please Cordy.
Angel loved to see her smile when he made her happy, but he didn't want to please her in that uh, kind of way this Angel wanted to do.
"Shh. Stop talking. It's gonna know we're following it," Angel murmured, raising a hand to quiet them both. He jerked his head to the left, raising the tip of his broad sword slightly. Good thing they hadn't run into any tourists in this quiet yet dangerous downtown LA neighborhood. Angel didn't feel like taking pictures with that harmless dork walking behind him.
He was harmless really, because after they questioned him, he mentioned something of Wolfram & Hart, that he was sent by them, but that's all his programming could remember. Anything else was just praising about Cordelia.
So Angel figured as long as he kept an eye on him, then the robot wouldn't go and pull something.
"Cordelia, I've written a song for you, to praise your beauty and kindness you showed me earlier in the morning. Although it may not give you sexual pleasure, I was hoping that it would entertain you for a while."
"You mean, singing? Likesinging. Oh, cool!"
Angel turned around, narrowing his eyes at the robot. He pointed his sword at him. "You Shut up."
"Fair Cordeellliiaaa–"
Cordy clamped a hand over Angel-bot's mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing as well. "You knowYou really don't have to sing. Okay?"
Angel scowled, shaking his head for the fifth time. He poked a set of trash cans nearby with his sword, seeing nothing but garbage. Cordy flicked Angel-bot away, moving to walk next to the vampire.
"You saw him earlier," Angel acknowledged, looking straight ahead while walking.
"I did." Cordy stayed quiet for a while, looking at the ground.
They continued in silence for a while, then Angel stopped walking, turning to look at her. "I can't believe you thought I was him!"
"Well, duh, look at him!" Cordy pointed a thumb at the Angel-bot, who just smiled at her. "Of course I thought he was you."
"He - he doesn't act anything like me! You couldn't tell me apart from a robot?!"
"Okay, so maybe he acted - weird! But at least he acted more normal than you would act. He cares about me, and he tries to do things for meNormal, nice things," Cordelia protested, folding her arms across her chest.
"I can also walk in the sunlight, and I don't need blood to survive. By the way, there's th–"
"Only you could do something like that," Angel muttered, glaring. "Even Wesley, or - or Gunn could've figured it out."
"'You'–" She made quote marks with her fingers. "–came to me, wanting - guess what? A roll in the hay. I thought your curse was gone, and you could have sex! That's what you told me!"
"–I'm actually very capable of–"
"SHUT UP," Angel and Cordelia growled, looking at the Angel-bot briefly, then each other.
"And since you haven't had any in a while, I wasn't surprised that you showed up at my doorstep for a quick screw since the last one with Buffy!"
"Cordelia–"
"That's not true. I - or the actual Angel has slept with Darla, recently," The Angel-bot pointed out, trying to be helpful.
At exactly the wrong time.
Angel's eyes opened wide in alarm, shaking his head 'no' at then robot, before turning to see Cordy's angry face. He shook his head vigorously. "I never meant to - do it, Cordy."
"You lied to me!"
"Not actuallyYou didn't exactly ask me," Angel murmured, wincing.
"You You fucking lied to me. Stupid bastard!" Cordy let her fist fly free and watched it connect with Angel's jaw, making him stagger backwards unexpectedly, falling into the garbage cans behind him.
"That must hurt," Angel-bot commented, nodding.
"You'd better believe it," Cordy bit off, standing over Angel, her fists shaking. She shook her head sadly, while Angel touched his jaw gingerly, surprised she could punch that hard. The vampire figured he'd had a nice black and blue in the morning from it.
Angel didn't want Cordelia to find out about his night out with Darla any time soon, but thanks to that robot, she did. Even if he actually told her, it would've been from a couple of feet away, so she wouldn't be able to knock him silly.
Wiping his mouth, he got to his feet, Cordy glaring at him, a look of pure malice on her face. He turned to look down at her, a pained expression. "It didn't mean anything, Cordelia. Darla meant nothing to me."
"You could've killed all of us. What if you turned evil, again? Then what?"
"It was the opposite of pure happiness, all right?"
"I don't mean to interrupt, but there's" Angel-bot pointed upwards, making Angel and Cordy turn and look in the indicated direction.
They were no longer a triangle involved in a heated argument. Because, see, that demon, y'know, the big ugly one from her vision? He crouched on the fire escape above them, looking at them with blood red eyes.
Then he leaped.
"Don't worry Cordelia! I'll get it!" Angel-bot shouted, diving and pushing her out of the way. She hit the ground roughly, while the demon – which resembled some odd rhinoceros but with dark green skin – tackled the robot.
"Cordelia!" Angel shouted, glancing at her, before slamming his boot into the thing's leathery neck. Angel-bot threw the demon off of him, frowning as it salivated, pawing at the ground.
"That really is unsanitary, you know. Bad manners. And you should never attack a woman, especially if it's my Cordelia," Angel-bot reprimanded the demon, leaping forward and wrestling it to the ground.
Angel rolled his eyes. "Hold it still, will you?!"
"I'd appreciate a thank you, later!" Angel-bot said, trying to hold the writhing demon in his grasp, shaking his head disapprovingly as it thrashed about, whipping it's tail wildly.
"Ugh. Eww. That thing looks disgusting," Cordy mumbled, getting to her feet and brushing her nice pants off. Her dinner outfit looked all horrible and dusty now, and her nicely done hair was anything but perfect. I guess that's a no to a nice candle lit dinner, then.
"Watch out for its mouth," Angel instructed her, taking a step forward. Angel-bot was having some trouble holding the thing down, because the demon's neck kept stretching out, jaws frantically snapping for something, or air. Hopefully, it was air.
"It's - what?" Cordy shouted to be heard over the growling and slobbering of the creature. She moved forward, inching along besides the murky alley wall, the alley being narrow and dark.
Suddenly, the demon's mouth jerked to it's right, snapping at Cordy's hip with its long teeth. It left bloody furrows in the material of her red trenchcoat, painful enough to make her stagger forward and cry out in pain. She fell into Angel's arms after he dropped the broad sword, running to her.
"Cordy!" Angel shouted, touching her cheek, smoothing her hair. He pulled her to him, eyes wide and frantic. "Cordy? Cordelia! Are you all right?"
Cordy mumbled something incoherently before passing out, going limp in his arms.
"NoCordy don't fall asleep. Cordelia, please," Angel begged, shaking her. This isn't happening. This cannot be happening to me.
Another cry of anguish tore through the night, as Angel-bot picked up the broad sword with a free hand, shoving it into the demon's neck, watching the blade pass cleanly through it. The slathering demon howled, then collapsed at Angel-bot's feet.
Angel-bot turned away from it, wiping the dark blue blood of the sword with his leather duster. He looked to Angel who held Cordelia close to him, yelling and shaking her.
"I think the best possible solution is to get her to a hospital," Angel-bot suggested, eyebrows quirking upwards.
"Cordy?" Angel lowered her to the ground, glancing at the bite wound on her hip. He put his ear to her chest. "She's - she's not breathing!"
read part 4