NOTICE: I still don't own Tenchi Muyo! However, that will soon change! (Cue evil laugh and striking of lightning)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the final chapter, everyone! Thanks for reading!

HELL HATH NO FURY

CHAPTER III: BEST SERVED COLD

It would only be less than a day before Ayeaka and Sasami returned home, and Tenchi felt ready enough to receive them. Though dreading the conflicts that would almost certainly erupt as soon as the Jurain Princess' laid eyes on her friend/nemesis, Tenchi was certain that Ryoko's newfound maturity would help decrease the severity of such quarrels. He felt more optimistic than pessimistic at this time, resulting in a carefree state of mind that he had been experiencing for the past few days. Though Ryoko acted like her old, typical self in front of the others, she was genuinely warm with Tenchi, causing the young man to believe that he and only he had managed to penetrate her tough exterior, and expose the true nature of her soul.

Tenchi hummed cheerfully as he walked through the woods leading to his house. Nature reflected his demeanor that day: the trees were of a fresh and vibrant green, the sky was an endless sea of hypnotic blue, and the birds serenaded one another with their songs and tidings of good will. If there were any catastrophes on Earth, if there were any disasters teeming with human malice and animosity, then they did not enter the mind of Tenchi. He was there, no chaos was present, the tone of his surroundings complemented his mood, and that was all that was important. Tenchi was concerned solely with the here and the now; he could worry and fret all he wanted later. For now, he wanted to enjoy the serenity while it lasted, which would most likely not be very long.

Tenchi appeared before the house, and entered it. Upon entry, a feeling of inexplicable but intangible anxiety overcame him, and he stepped into the house without closing the door. The house was very dark, as all the blinds had been drawn, and all the lights had been turned off. There was no sound; a pin drop from miles away could have made a thunderous sound if it were to fall. It did not take long for Tenchi to sense that something was not quite right, nor could he deny that this silent, dim house realized the sensation of wading through a swamp of black ink, the landscape of a madman's unpredictable psyche. Tenchi was one of the Earth's greatest warriors, but he was still partially human, and this scenario reminded him all too much of those "Ju-On" movies Ryoko had forced him to watch.

A creek sounded, Tenchi's heart leapt into his throat, and he whirled around, sure that some unspeakable horror had emerged to rip off his head and devour his brains!

But there was no such monstrosity before Tenchi. There was only Ryoko, standing behind the door, and pushing itself away from herself. However, while it was only her, her appearance was rather puzzling. True, she was clad in a tank top and an ordinary pair of jeans, but she was also smoking a cigarette, something Tenchi had never seen her do before. Ryoko was stoic, and no emotion could be read from her. Her eyes were glazed over, but were still one of the few sources of color that could be seen from the mask of shadow. The meek amount of sunshine penetrating the blinds detailed the red ash of the cigarette, and Ryoko's own outline, but not much more beyond that.

"Ryoko?" Tenchi asked nervously. "What…what are you doing? Where is everyone?"

Ryoko took a drag of her cigarette, and the inflaming of the tobacco lighted her absent eyes. "Everyone is out." She said in monotone, devoid of the very emotions she did not show on her face. "They've all gone to the movie theatre, and I told them that we would meet them there soon. But you're going to fall, and I will be so concerned about your injury that I will selflessly stay behind and take care of you."

"What are you talking about, Ryoko?" Tenchi asked, confused over her intentions and not liking them one bit.

Ryoko did not answer, but instead inhaled her cigarette deeply for one last time. She then carelessly flicked it away to the floor, and grinded it with her foot.

"Its time for you to pay your debt, Tenchi dear." She said.

She approached Tenchi, and the young man could swear, though inexplicably, that she seemed to become even taller than usual as she stepped forth. And though the eyes were muddled and lacking sharpness, there was still a hunger underneath, frustrated, impatient, wrathful. Tenchi wanted to look away but could not; she held complete control over his gaze, and commanded him to stare into his means of subjugation.

"Ryoko, what are you… Ryoko! Get your hands off of my shirt! Don't take it off! What do you… no, not my pants! Give them back! Ryoko! Stop that! Let go of my boxers! I… oh. Oh no. Ryoko! Don't! Don't you dare! Stay away, Ryoko! I mean it! I'm warning you! Ryoko! Ryoko! RYOKO!"

HQ OF "KIRA" TASK UNIT, JAPAN

"C'mon, Light!" Misa Amane whined incessantly to her boyfriend, Light Yagami. She, Light, and L were all in the computer room; the two young detectives, still chained to one another, had the displeasure of Misa continually interrupting their work. "Misa-Misa is bored! And you promised that you would take Misa out!"

L sat in his chair placidly and typed on his keyboard, apparently not unnerved by Misa's commotion. Light, on the other hand, was quickly losing his patience. He was frustrated over a lack of clues leading to Kira, the tension with L was becoming difficult to endure, and Misa just wouldn't leave him the hell alone! He had done his best to ignore his dim-witted girlfriend, but sensed that he would crack very soon if her begging continued.

"Misa" he said as calmly as he could. His back was to her, so she didn't see his eye twitch nor his hands shake "now is not a good time. We still have no idea where Kira is, or what he's plotting. As soon as we get some semblance of what he's up to, then I'll take you out."

"But, Light!" Misa complained. "That's what you always say! You always tell Misa to wait, and that we'll go out later! But that never happens! How much longer does Misa-Misa need to wait?!"

Light could bear no more. Abruptly, he stood up from his chair, and whirled around to face Misa.

"You listen to me, you ignorant little bit--" he started to say. A scream from somewhere in the country (How do I know that? he thought) pierced through his mind, and interrupted the rebuke. The scream hit L too, and both detectives collapsed, L onto his console and Light onto his hands and knees. Whatever the sound was, it had knocked them down like a ton of bricks.

Light looked up at Misa confused and hurt, but what he saw was something that transcended reality, imagination, and his own worst fears. That brief moment somehow seemed to be a hellish eternity for Light. But then the flames died down, and the moans of the damned ceased. There again stood Misa, appearing quite confounded and worried.

"Honey?" She asked carefully. "Light, what's wrong? Are you OK?" She reached out to Light as she asked this.

Light gasped, and drew hastily back, choking on his own revulsion and terror. In a moment though, his brilliant mind convinced him to try to appease the beast.

"M-Misa!" He stammered, attempting to smile kindly. "Um… h-how about if we g-go to the movies?!"

"The movies?!" Misa cried out in delight. It seemed that she had completely forgotten about Light's very recent unusual behavior with those few words. "Misa would love to!"

"W-wait!" L cried. He had too witnessed the horrible apparition, and was shaking from head to toe. He dug into a drawer, and quickly produced a small hand-saw. He then held it out tremblingly to Misa, and said "By all means, you two go enjoy yourselves! No need for a fifth wheel, right?! Please, cut off my hand!"

HELLSING HQ, LONDON, ENGLAND

Victoria Seras stood out in the open fields behind the Hellsing building, and practiced her shooting. She was using a standard pistol, and the targets were ordinary household items: damaged buckets, empty bottles, decrepit beyond repair, and so forth. They were spread out in the woods far too much for humans, and Seras would have had some trouble seeing it too if she was practicing during the day. But it was night, and this was the time when her eyesight should have been at it's greatest. And it would have been at it's peak too, if only she had drank the packet of blood left for her in her room.

However, like most of the time, Seras refused to even touch her food, even while knowing that the blood came from donors, and that it was necessary for a vampire's nutrition. But still, the human inside of her was revolted by the delicious substance, and so she persisted in not letting a single drop enter her hungry stomach.

The effects of this decision were obvious. She was slower than she should have been, weaker than she should have been, and less skilled than she should have been. It was these reductions in combat qualities that nearly caused her to fail her mission the night before. She and her comrades were ordered to invade a factory where freaks were reportedly dwelling, and then to exterminate them. In the ensuing chaos between the two battalions, Seras' decreased agility almost caused her to be shot with silver by an enemy combatant. Yet the ghoul was blasted away just in time by one of her teammates, and Seras knew she would only act as a liability if she continued her duties. She obtained the permission of her nearest superior to retreat, and then spent the rest of the night in the unit's van, tears of shame falling down her angelic face. Alucard was not beside her, but she could hear his cruel, taunting laughter anyway.

When she awoke at the next day's twilight, she was still plenty upset over the events of the night before, so she decided to burn some stress. She had tried to drink her packet of luscious blood, but her urge to retain some semblance of humanity prevailed. Therefore, she left her room hungry and frustrated.

With these pernicious memories fully intact in her consciousness, Seras lifted her pistol, prepared to ease her tension.

"Good evening, police girl." A familiar and cruel voice purred. Seras sighed in exasperation as her master Alucard materialized behind her. She loved her master more than she would admit, but he was the one person she did not want to see right now. She sought his approval more than anyone's; most of the time though, he laughed sadistically at her failures. That always stung, but it was always his occasional looks of disappointment and regret that truly broke her heart. Tonight, he would undoubtedly mock her, lecture her to drink her blood, and then disappear for the rest of the evening. Seras could not handle that.

"Master" she said, not bothering to turn around and face him "please spare me the lecture. Or at least not tonight. I know what I did wrong. It won't happen again."

"I see." Alucard said amused. "Does that mean you're going to start drinking blood again? Hmm?"

Seras did not answer him. Alucard already knew her unspoken reply, and exaggeratingly sighed in mock exasperation. Seras stiffened, and clenched her trembling fists to suppress her awakening anger.

"Oh, police girl" he said condescendingly. "you know as well as I do that you need to drink your blood, otherwise you'll become weaker than you already are. A performance like the one you put on last night is a disgrace not just to you, but to all--"

"Master!" Seras shouted as she turned to meet Alucard. "SHUT UP!"

Seras refuting Alucard was rare, but the incongruous nosferatu was prepared to laugh off his servant's outburst with his menacing shark grin. However, at that very moment, a strange scream rang through his head, and Seras was immediately removed from his sight. In her place was nightmare incarnate, a monster that defied the laws of science and physics. Alucard was a "Grade A" vampire, could turn into bats, rats, and mist, and he could regenerate himself. He could even mutate his own body into a sprawling monstrosity that terrified the most courageous of men. But this… this was what Alucard admitted to be a monstrosity that should never have existed. The horrid animal held him in a trance, and strong as he was, he could not resist it. All he could do was stand there dumbly while gaping stupefied with horror at the beast before him.

"Master?" Seras said, suddenly replacing the monster, and snapping her fingers in front of his startled face. She was genuinely concerned, but was aware of the possibility of her master attempting to trick her. "Master? Snap out of it!"

Alucard awoke from his trance, and stared horrified at Seras. His disciple knew something was terribly wrong, since Alucard rarely, if ever, looked so shaken up. He was a horrendous demon; to have something even intimidate him was unheard of.

"Uh…" Alucard said, at a loss of words. He then quickly pronounced, "Excuseme,Ihavetogodosomething!" and vanished into the night, leaving a stupefied Seras behind.

WOODCREST, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

"Stop saying that, Huey!" Jazmine Du Bois yelled at Huey Freeman. She, Huey, and Riley Freeman were all waiting for the school bus at their usual location, and Jazmine had hoped that her neighbor would decided not to demean her wild, unrestrained hair that morning. Unfortunately, the young radical socialist had no intentions of curtailing his tormenting that day, and he started them anew only moments after arriving at the bus stop. Jazmine had tried ignoring Huey's comments like her father instructed her to, but she could no longer endure being compared to Foxy Brown. "I don't have an afro! I don't, I don't, I don't!"

"You're right, Jazmine." Huey said in monotone with his regularly unfeeling eyes and demeanor. "You don't have an afro. Your hair is just frizzy, like Kareem Abdul Jabbar."

"It is not! Stop it!" The poor little girl screeched. She looked to Riley for any support that he could give, yet found none. The ear plugs of an iPod were inserted into the small thug's ears, and "Gangsta Nation" was blaring so loudly that even Jazmine could discern what was being rapped. She turned back to Huey, aware that Riley would also probably prefer watching her suffer than coming to her aid. "Leave me alone, Huey! I don't have an afro!"

"Why do you keep pointlessly raving at me, Jazmine?" Huey mockingly asked. His face was stoic, yet he was finding it increasingly difficult not to grin in cruel delight. "I'm agreeing with you. You don't have an afro just like Bob Ross."

"Stop!" Jazmine shouted, nearly hysterical and close to tears. "Just stop it!"

"Stop what?" Huey persisted. "Stop saying that compared to you, Angela Davis had the hair of a European--"

"HUEY" She bellowed in a voice that did not belong to her. "STOP IT!"

The street corner ceased to be. Instead of concrete and gravel, both Huey and Riley found themselves transported to what accurately be termed as a necropolis. All that could have been seen were colors not meant for human eyes, hues and shades that were nauseating in their delirium. It reminded Huey of various acidic painting that he had studied before, and it reminded Riley of the time he had eaten bologna that was aged three years past it's expiration date.

But what they saw was not nearly as painful as what they felt. They felt like ice cold water was being dumped onto their naked bodies. They felt like the interiors of their chest was burning in a raging flame. Everything seemed to hurt from the ground that they stood on to the wind that brushed against them to the very air that they breathed.

It was agony for the boys, but it was the demon they saw that forced Riley to scream with abandon. It was the daemon that caused Huey wish that he had something to stab his eyes with. The adorable, shy little girl known as Jazmine was gone, and in her place was a walking, living embodiment of pus and disease, vomited into this world from the mouth of Hell!

Huey and Riley were still screaming when they suddenly reappeared back in Woodcrest. Then they realized that they were no longer trapped in the nine circles of Hell, and they ceased their cries. However, they regarded Jazmine with wide, frightened eyes and trembling jowls. Jazmine stared at them incredulously.

"What's with you two?!" Jazmine demanded.

Riley promptly responded by running away and screaming wildly about "crazy bitches". Huey slowly got to his feet and backed away. Then he turned and ran back home, and Jazmine was left all alone and confused.

HOME OF THE VAMPIRE HUNTER DRAGOON, U.S.A.

Vampire Hunter Dragoon abruptly stopped typing on his keyboard, and snapped his head upward. Usually he let nothing deter him from his writing once he actually sat down to do it, but the sound he had just heard was powerful and nerve-shredding enough to bring him out of his immersion.

He could not quite place his finger on what it was; it sounded like a man's scream, but it was unlike any howl of mortal terror that he had ever heard before. The fear in it's tenor and vocals was far too deep, too desperate. Nothing in existence should have been able to force someone to elicit such a cry.

Memories that were not Dragoon's but that of all of man's crept through his consciousness. The chasms of reality too great for man to understand; powers so diabolical and vile in nature that one would lose his mind if confronted with it. And for whatever reason, it was the presence of ragethat Dragoon sensed violating his mind, the fury of a sex scorned for generations, taken advantage of, deceived, mistreated. Their cries of outrage and promises of bloody vengeance manifested itself in one brief instance before him, a matron figure aflame with her own disgust and fury.

Dragoon rapidly shook his head to clear himself of his vision, and then tossed his nearby plastic container of coffee into the trash. There would be no more caffeine for awhile if this was what it brought.

BACK IN RURAL JAPAN…

The morning was average for Ryoko and Ayeaka, or at least as average as it could have been for those two. Ayeaka had noticed only one small discrepancy during breakfast: while in the midst of arguing heatedly with Ryoko, Tenchi never said a word. He did not plead Ryoko to stop referring to Ayeaka as "Tits McGee", nor did he beg the Jurian Princess to stop insulting the space pirate with terms like "whore" and "harlot". Instead, he ate his meal quietly, and the rest of the family wondered if the young man was finally pushed to his breaking point.

A temporary truce had been established, as it almost always was, between Ryoko and Ayeaka following breakfast. Their favorite soap opera would start soon, and both preferred to bask in the glamour of daytime TV than to bicker with one another. With their appetites satisfied, the women walked to the living room, settled into the couch, and turned on the television.

For fifteen minutes, neither spoke; they were far too involved in the plot of their soap, this one consisting of infidelity, murder, and hot, steamy passion. But then the commercials came on, and Ryoko announced, "I want some tea." Ayeaka looked at her strangely in response. Why was Ryoko telling her this?

Ryoko produced a small bell from her breast pocket, and then carelessly rang it. A few moments passed, and Tenchi entered the room silently with his gaze facing downwards. He did not say a word, and it appeared that he was deliberately refraining from looking Ryoko in the eyes.

"I would like some tea, Tenchi." Ryoko told him.

Tenchi received this comment with no reply. After waiting some more seconds for further instructions but receiving none, the young man turned to leave.

Ayeaka was beside herself, and a storm of questions plagued her. What was this? Why was Tenchi obeying this shameless hussy? How did Ryoko procure the power to order Ayeaka's beloved? A little experiment may help me get to the bottom of this she thought to herself.

"Oh, Lord Tenchi!" Ayeaka called out sweetly. Tenchi had evidently heard her, for her stopped in his tracks after she had beckoned him. He did not turn around at first; he just stood in his spot, with his back towards the two as if her were unsure of what course of action to take. Finally, he turned around and regarded Ayeaka with inquisitive but frightened eyes.

"Lord Tenchi" Ayeaka said in a voice syrupy enough to inflict diabetes "could you also please bring me some tea as well?"

Tenchi did not answer her. Instead, he turned his gaze to Ryoko, though he would still not look at her in the eyes. Ryoko narrowed her eyes in thought, and stared up at the ceiling while doing so. To aid her in her pondering, she tapped her chin with her forefinger, and she hummed sagaciously. She was obviously taking great pains while she thought through this matter.

At long last, she reverted her gaze back to Tenchi, and said, "All right, Tenchi. You may also bring Ayeaka some tea as well."

Just like before, Tenchi waited for anymore possible instructions to be thrown his way. Upon none being issued, he turned and exited the living room as quietly as he had entered.

Ayeaka did not know what to say following Tenchi's departure, and she gaped at Ryoko in bewilderment. After some time, she croaked out, "How… how did you…?"

Ryoko smiled kindly, yet Ayeaka could sense something so maleficent behind that smile that the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up. Ryoko winked at her, and the only thing she would say was, "Secret!".