Chapter Three

Anders, a worried expression on his face, stood uneasily in front of Hawke as she sat upright upon the rectangular table that he used in his clinic for the examination of his patients.

"Cat? Did you hear what I just said?" he asked her softly as he searched her face.

Hawke raised her aquamarine eyes to his light brown ones and stared at him, a bit dazed. She noticed that he was wearing a new set of dark colored robes. He looked handsome in them, she thought. She wondered why she hadn't noticed before.

"You've new robes… I like them on you, Anders." She smiled at Anders and wondered why he was looking at her so strangely.

Anders wasn't quite sure what to do. He knew that Hawke had heard what he had just told her, for her expression had changed right away. Actually her expression had changed several times. Anders had never before seen such a myriad of expressions cross her beautiful face in such a short span of time: shock, surprise, fear, unbelief, and wonder were but a few of them. But what worried him most was that she still had not responded verbally to the diagnosis he had just given her, yet when she had finally spoken - it was only to compliment him on his robes!

"Hawke… are you alright?" he asked. "Do you want me to get Aveline?"

Aveline had decided to wait outside the closed doors of the clinic, to make sure that no one would enter and disturb Anders' examination of Hawke. When the two of them had first arrived, she had pulled the healer aside and told him just how long Hawke had been feeling unwell; she was defiantly worried about Hawke's condition.

When Hawke still hadn't responded to his questions, Anders moved to sit beside her on the table. He put an arm around her and pulled her close to his side. He really didn't know what else to do at this point. If she had been anyone else sitting there, he would have no problem dealing with her in a clinical manner- but this was Catelynn Hawke. She was his closest friend and he loved her. Probably more than he should. So therefore he was unable to look at her as simply just another one of his patients. Hawke just continued to sit there, staring vacantly out into the clinic, not focusing on anything in particular. Anders thought she might be in shock. He knew he was.

Catelynn sat there silently, her dazed mind tried desperately to comprehend and even process the information that it had just been given. Hawke didn't know how to deal with what Anders had just told her… she didn't know how to feel about it all. It was just so…unexpected. Hawke felt Anders tighten his arm around her waist in an effort to either comfort her or commiserate with her; she moved closer and leaned her head upon his broad shoulder.

"What am I to do, Anders?" she asked him, finally speaking about the issue at hand, her voice barely a whisper. "I don't know if I can handle this…" She was starting to panic.

Hearing the rising panic in her voice, Anders leaned his cheek against the top of her head and then answered her in a way that he hoped would help to alleviate her fears. "You will do what you always do… what you have always done: Get through it and come out stronger. You're not alone in this, Cat… I'm here for you," he told her.

"Yes… you've always been there for me… and you always will, won't you Anders?" she replied softly.

Anders paused slightly before responding, his expression turning somewhat sad before it became unreadable. "Yes, Hawke… I will be there for you always- until the day my life is ended."

Hawke lifted her head and then turned to look at him, wondering why he had phrased his response in such a strange way; but she found no answer in his guarded expression. Anders smiled at her then and the moment was gone.

One of the doors to the clinic suddenly opened and the two mages turned to see who was at the entrance; Aveline stuck her head in and looked at Anders.

"Done yet, Anders?" she asked the mage tersely. "There's a bloody line of impatient people out here, all waiting to come in. Can I come in now?"

Aveline decided not to wait for his answer and instead she entered the clinic, shutting the door firmly behind her. She walked over to the table and looked carefully at Hawke's face. Aveline wasn't sure she liked what she saw in her friend's eyes.

"Is it bad news?" she asked the two mages as she looked at Hawke and then at Anders. "What's wrong with her, Anders?"

Anders shook his head slightly at Aveline and gave her a look that said he'd answer her question in a moment. He turned his head and looked over at Hawke; her look of panic had returned.

"Do you want me to go with you when you tell Fenris?" he asked her. He saw her stiffen slightly and her expression of panic grew more intense.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You can't tell Fenris!" she stated loudly and emphatically. "No one else can know about… Not now… not yet," she said looking directly at Anders. "Promise me, Anders."

Anders frowned at Hawke but he nodded his head yes. What else could he do? He wasn't about to argue with her when she was in such a state of turmoil and panic. He glanced at Aveline and he could tell that she was not happy with the promise he had just made. For Hawke's sake, he hoped that he had just done the right bloody thing by promising her to keep quiet. But then again, this wasn't a condition that she could keep from everyone indefinitely... least of all Fenris.

Hawke suddenly slid off the table. "I have to go now," she said abruptly to Anders and Aveline. She grabbed her staff from where she had left it on a small table and then walked quickly towards the exit. Anders and Aveline watched her walk away.

"Hawke… Wait!" Aveline called to her, hoping for some answers.

Hawke stopped but for a moment but did not turn around. "Aveline… I'm fine. I'll talk to you later," she said firmly. When she had finished speaking she opened the door and left the clinic.

Anders slid off the side of the examination table and looked over at the opened door as patients started filing in; his rest of the day was going to be very busy. He noticed that Aveline was still standing there, watching him with an expectant look on her face. Anders sighed.

"Aveline…you heard me promise not to tell anyone about Hawke's condition." Aveline narrowed her eyes at him in disapproval. He eyed the sword strapped to her back and wondered, who could hurt him more… the Guard-Captain or Hawke?

"I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's going on, Anders. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way…your choice," replied Aveline firmly as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Anders decided that at the moment, Aveline could hurt him more, since she was actually standing in front of him. He sighed again. "I can't tell you, Aveline… but that doesn't mean I can't confirm something that you may have already guessed," he told her with a very pointed look. He waited for Aveline to figure things out on her own.

Aveline furrowed her brow as she tried to go over everything in her mind that she already knew about Hawke's illness. She knew that she had been feeling sick off and on for several weeks… she was mostly nauseous, she was sleeping later so that meant she was also feeling more tired than normal… but what else? Aveline knew there was more…something was nagging her…something she noticed recently about Hawke. The image of Hawke standing in her room earlier that day, wearing only a flimsy night gown, filled her thoughts… Maker!

Aveline turned to Anders and stared at him in surprise, her eyes widening in shock, as the realization hit her. "She's…?" Anders nodded his head. "How-"

"The usual way, I imagine," Anders replied dryly, cutting her off.

Aveline gave him a perturbed look. "I was going to say- how is she handling the news?"

"Well you saw her… what do you think?" replied Anders with a shrug of his shoulders. "I just hope she tells Fenris soon. Hawke is going to need all the support from him she can get."

Aveline looked at the mage and smiled. "No need to worry about that. Unlike you, I never promised not to tell anyone what I know. If she doesn't tell Fenris soon, I'll make sure he finds out- one way or another," she said.

Anders looked at the Guard-Captain for a moment. "You, Aveline, are a very formidable woman." He smiled at her then and said, "Hawke is very lucky to have you as a friend."

Aveline thought about everything she had been through with Hawke over the past seven years. All the questionable activities, all the times she had looked the other way, all the times she had protected the mage. She smiled back at Anders and said simply, "Yes. She is."