Chapter 2: Within the Glow

A/N: I have changed the spelling of the name of the leader of Castiel's garrison from 'Zachariahel' to 'Zachariel' on the advice of a reader. I think we can all agree it looks and sounds better this way. lol On a totally unrelated note, I finally have a new chapter to share—wrote it over a week ago, but only just today read/edited/polished it to publishable quality. I was traveling halfway across the country to visit my sister this past week; so sue me. :P

We fear the thing we want the most.
-Robert Anthony

Jess woke up to the sounds of Sam getting dressed. She rolled over to look at her tall, muscular husband, but her appreciative smile fell from her face as a sudden wave of nausea hit her in the pit of her stomach. Her hand flew to her mouth as violent lurch of her stomach threatened to expel whatever remained of the previous night's meal. She tasted bitter bile in the back of her throat as she sat on the bed, her head in her hands waiting for her head to stop spinning. She tried to ignore the cold, clammy sweat breaking out all over her body as she concentrated on breathing deeply and slowly.

"Jess?" Sam's voice was worried. "What's wrong?"

Lisa was going through her morning routine, brushing her hair and scrubbing her teeth when the calendar beside the mirror caught her eye. She frowned at it as she swished water around in her mouth. What she was seeing seemed impossible, but she knew she had kept careful track of her cycles since she was twelve. Maybe it was the worry. Worrying could interfere with the regularity of a woman's monthly bleeding. It must be the worry over Dean leaving that was causing her time of bleeding to be late—an entire week late. No doubt she would feel the familiar cramping later that very day. Besides, she had puked her guts out for the first three months of her pregnancy with Ben; and right now she felt fine. But she would have to see Missouri anyway, just to be sure. This wasn't something any woman in Colt would take lightly.

"Ben," she called, rapping on the wall beside the curtain that covered the doorway to his room. "Come on, get up—breakfast!"

An unhappy groan answered her, followed by a decidedly miserable "Do I have to?"

"Of course you have to; now hurry up and get your teeth scrubbed while I fry us some eggs. Emily brought some tomatoes over last night, so we'll have some—would you like me to chop one up and fry it, or do you just want it raw?"

"I'm not hungry," Ben grumbled.

Lisa frowned. Ben had always loved tomatoes, and they were something of a rare treat, especially in the last few years. "Well, you have to eat something; you have weapons training with Mark this morning."

Ben threw the curtain aside and looked up at her, a mournful expression on his face. "I don't feel well; I don't want to go."

Lisa sighed and put her hand on his forehead, finding it to be a normal temperature. "You'll feel better once you eat something."

He heaved a longsuffering sigh and sulked past her down the narrow hallway toward the small washroom. Lisa was almost certain she heard him grumble, "I'd feel better if dad wasn't…" She didn't hear the end of the sentence, but she could guess what it was and couldn't help but agree.

Her hand moved involuntarily to clutch her blouse just below her throat. She couldn't be pregnant again, she just couldn't. Not with Dean leaving. The fear curled cold and heavy in her belly. The sooner she could see Missouri and know for sure, the better.

"Sam." Jess spoke carefully, continuing to concentrate on her breathing in an attempt to avoid puking all over herself and their bed. She didn't fancy the idea of more laundry, and Sam could hardly take time off as it was his turn to oversee the dayshift on the walls. "I think— I might throw up."

He knelt gently beside her, stroking her back reassuringly. "I'll have someone go for Kate."

She shook her head. "Missouri." She turned wide, frightened eyes on him. "It's the right time, Sam."

A flood of confused and conflicted emotions threatened to overwhelm Sam, but he managed a nod. "Okay, Missouri then."

It wasn't long before Missouri appeared in Sam and Jess' bedroom, a kind smile on her face. "Oh, Jess-baby, you really are having a tough time, aren't you? Sam-baby, bring her some cold water. Do you have bread in the house? Something dry and crunchy is best."

Jess gave her a pained smile. "I just want to know if—"

Missouri nodded, a smile lighting her kind eyes. "Yes, Jess, you have a little one in there." She leaned over and placed the flat of her palm on Jess' abdomen. "And such a strong, healthy baby too."

Jess looked down and away, twisting her hands in the blankets. "You can't know that for sure, Missouri."

"No, I can't ever know for one hundred per cent certain, that's true—I've seen babies start out healthy and just not make it, and I've seen fragile little things beat all the odds and pull through. But let me tell you something about the Winchester bloodline: it's strong. I've been village midwife here long enough to remember when Marry and John were newly married: Dean was her first pregnancy, Sam her second—she never lost a baby, Jess. It's just been that way in the Winchester family. So I think I can say with some certainty that the healthy, strong baby I feel today has a good chance of staying that way." She patted Jess on the back. "So you just take care of yourself and remember: it's okay to be happy!" She turned and looked at Sam who had returned with a cup of cold water and some toasted flatbread and was now leaning against the wall just inside the doorway. "And that goes for both of you. This is very good news. Allow yourselves to be raised up by hope and expect good things."

Lisa sat on the stool in Missouri's office, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Her dark hair hung in soft waves, obscuring her face, but Missouri knew without having to see Lisa's expression that it was filled with pain and conflict. "You can't tell Dean, Missouri, not now, not with him leaving." Lisa looked up, tears shining in her eyes that betrayed the helplessness she felt. "Why now?"

Compassion was evident in Missouri's face. "I don't know why, Lisa-baby, I just know that there's a healthy baby in there, at least as healthy and strong as Ben was. And if you don't want me to tell Dean, then I won't tell him; I won't tell anyone unless you want me to. I just wish you could be happy about this."

"Oh, Missouri, I wish I could too! I've just always…feared getting pregnant again. With the chances of success so low…"

"Now you listen, Lisa-baby, and you listen good; the Winchester bloodline is strong—I don't know what it is that makes it special, but it just is. And you worrying isn't going to help anyone, so I suggest that you try your hardest to hope for the best. You're a strong and capable woman, and even with your man goin' away, you don't have to do this alone. There is a whole village here full of people here who love you and will support you—you just have to let us."

Lisa managed a weak yet hopeful smile. "Once Dean is gone, we'll tell them, okay? I just don't want Dean to worry, you know? He needs to do this, and he's going to do it no matter what. But if he knew I was pregnant, he would just feel so guilty for leaving me now. It would tear him up inside, and I just can't do that to him."

Missouri's eyes were wet with her own tears as she pulled the younger woman into a hug. "I understand, Lisa-baby. I understand."

A/N: I promise there will be more exciting stuff happening eventually in this story. I just realized I had to set this up now, and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter even if not much actually happened in it. :/