Disclaimer: I own nothing

Nick opened his eyes as he felt the plane land. Keeping his eyes closed and his hands clutched around his armrests had been all he could do in flight to keep from losing it. Winston had notice his unease about halfway through the flight and had tried to help him. "Hey, man, since when are you afraid of planes?" Winston asked curiously.

"I'm not afraid," Nick retorted, snapping his eyes open and turning to face Winston.

"Coulda fooled me," Winston snorted back turning to face his head back to the seat in front of him.

"Look, I'm not afraid, I just..." Nick trailed off, not sure if he could explain. "I ran out of things to count." There, Nick had said it. He hadn't told anyone about his counting since he had started to do it, but there it was. Nick was having a full blown panic attack because he had counted everything on the plane twice already, and there was literally nothing left to count. All he could do was try to keep his eyes closed and imagine something to count, but he kept losing focus too easily, and Nick could feel the pressure in the cabin close in around him, he felt like he might suffocate.

Winston turned back to Nick in confusion, "Umm...what?" he asked. What did he mean he ran out of things to count, his eyes raised slightly at this new odd behavior. Nick had always been off, but this was new.

"Listen, sometimes it helps calm me down, that's all. If I have something to count, then I can just stay calm. But I've already counted everything on the plane, and..." Nick took a deep breath, "I'm just having a hard time, because there's nothing left to count," Nick finished while closing his eyes again.

Winston would have thought that Nick was joking, except the whole time he had kept his hands clutched to the armrest, and there was a look on his face, as though he was physically in pain. Still, Winston wasn't sure if maybe Nick was pulling his leg. "How many people are on the plane?"

"Eighty-nine," Nick answered, eyes still closed.

"How many flight attendants?"

"Four"

"How many windows?"

"One hundred and fifty-three," Nick answered, still refusing to open his eyes.

"That's impossible, how could there be an odd number of windows on the plane?" Winston asked, starting to feel like maybe Nick was being serious about this counting thing.

"I counted the front windshield in the cockpit," Nick explained without opening his eyes.

Winston nodded slowly, trying to accept this new, bizarre part of Nick. Winston didn't really know what else to say, so he just faced back towards the seat in front of him, hoping that the plane would land before Nick lost it. OCD did not look good on Nick Miller, and Winston just hoped that getting him back home would be enough to help.

An hour later, and Nick could feel the wheels touching the ground as the plane finally landed. His hands relaxed slightly as his eyes opened slowly. He took a deep breath, and let go of the armrests he had been clutching. He hadn't noticed, but his hands had been grasping them so tightly that they had left imprints on his palms. Nick studied them for a second before rubbing them on his pants and standing up with the rest of the plane when the captain's voice came over the intercom. Nick had noticed, but did his best to ignore the sideways looks that Winston kept giving him. They walked silently through the airport. Nick followed Winston after baggage claim, assuming that he knew where they were going. When they got outside Nick was shocked to see CeCe waiting for them by Winston's car. That's when Nick realized that he hadn't really been prepared to come back. A wave of emotion hit Nick like a ton of bricks. He wasn't sure where it had come from, but it stopped him dead in his tracks as he watched CeCe and Winston hug.

CeCe noticed Nick's hesitation, but it didn't let it stop her. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down just slightly. She felt him waver for a second before she felt his arms wrap around her back. "I'm glad you're back Nick," CeCe said sincerely, pulling herself away from him. She was angry, that was unquestionable, but Winston had warned her on the phone to save it for later, that Nick was in weird place after Winston had told him the news about Jess. She looked him up and down, realizing how different he looked, "Not bad, Nick," she commented, eyebrows raised slightly.

Nick forced a smile, "It's good to see you too CeCe," it was the truth, it was good to see her. Nick and CeCe had never been close, but there was an unspoken easiness between them, both of them knowing that Jess was important to the other, and that being enough for both of them. Nick knew that CeCe was probably furious with him, and he appreciated that she was saving it for a different occasion.

"You guys ready?" CeCe asked looking back at Winston, he had just finished loading his bag into the trunk, and reached out a hand to take Nicks. When they had everything loaded they climbed into the car and CeCe drove them back to the loft that Nick had once called his home. The car ride was silent, but CeCe couldn't stand it. She could tell that Winston and Nick hadn't really talked about anything since Winston had told Nick that there was something wrong with Jess. "So, Nick, how have you been?" CeCe asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

"Fine," Nick answered, not caring to elaborate. He was counting the parking meters they passed on the street.

Winston chuckled softly as CeCe looked into the rearview mirror at Nick. Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "So, what's been new?" CeCe asked, not giving up.

"Nothing, same old," Nick responded quickly, he was up to one hundred and eighteen. He quickly lost count though when the car suddenly jerked and his head almost hit the side window. "What the?!" he yelled out to the front.

CeCe was done being nice. She wasn't going to stand by and watch as this man walked back into her best friend's life with absolutely nothing to say or contribute. She finished pulling the car over to the side of the street and unbuckled her seat belt. She noticed Winston quickly back up against the passenger door, trying to stay clear of her. She turned around in her seat and felt the the fire in her own voice. "You listen to me Nick Miller, we did not bring you all the way back to LA from Chicago because we missed you. You are not here right now because Schmidt is tired of the new guy at the bar. The only reason we decided to do all of this is because you deserved to know what was going on, and she deserves to have you here. But if you're not going to be here, like all here," she said making hand gestures around his eyes, suggesting that maybe his mind was out on lunch, "then you might as well get out of this car right now, because I am not about to risk my friendship with Jess for a vacant jackass with nothing to say."

Nick stared at CeCe hard. This was it, he had expected this outburst at some point, just not so soon. Nick nodded his head slowly, taking in her words. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"So what's it gonna be, you want to walk back to the airport?" CeCe asked, her hand gesturing towards the door.

"No, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little...I don't know, its weird to be back, under these circumstances," Nick said rubbing his hands up and down his face.

CeCe sighed feeling instantly bad about her outburst. She had almost forgotten that Nick thought Jess was on her deathbed, which wasn't necessarily the case. She had been relieved to hear that Winston had gotten Nick to come back with him, but was a little less than thrilled when he explained that he may have had to mislead Nick to do it.

"Listen, Nick, I know that this isn't easy, it hasn't been easy for any of us. But don't think about that part right now. Right now, I need to know why you're here, because I'm not about to let you walk into that apartment and break her anymore than you already have. If that's what you're here to do, then I'll drive you back to the airport, and we'll all just pretend like this never happened. Is that why you're here Nick?" CeCe stared at Nick from her seat, twisted towards him so she could fully face him.

Nick stared back, considering CeCe's words. Why was he here? There was something wrong with Jess, but what was he supposed to do about it, why had he come? Nick didn't know now that the question lay before him. Nick started to count the flowers on CeCe's blouse. He could hear CeCe yelling his name, but he kept counting.

"Nick!" CeCe yelled again, but he was full on ignoring her. She turned to Winston, concern and frustration etching her voice, "What is he doing?" She asked.

"I don't know, he picked up this weird Rain Man thing while he was in Chicago. Whenever he gets upset he starts to count or something." Winston tried to explain watching Nick mutter numbers to himself.

"Whatever, this is ridiculous," CeCe said, reaching forward she smacked Nick hard across the face, "pull it together Nick!" she screamed, attempting to snap Nick out of it.

Nick looked up, his face stinging from CeCe's hand, "What the hell, CeCe?" Nick yelled, holding his hand to where she had hit him.

"Oh good, you're awake," CeCe said rolling her eyes, "this was obviously a terrible idea, I'm taking you back to the airport," CeCe said beginning to turn back around in her seat to face the steering wheel.

It was now or never, Nick knew that CeCe wasn't messing around, she had little patience to begin with. "Okay, okay!" Nick yelled. He could feel himself letting go, and the anger he had been holding back began to ebb its way to the surface, "I'm going to tell her that I'm a freakin' idiot! I'll tell her the only reason I left is because I know I'm not good enough for her, but that I haven't stopped thinking about her since I've been gone!" Nick finished yelling at the front seat and bent forward to put his head in his hands.

CeCe turned back to look at Nick, and then turned to Winston, "We have to tell him, Winston," CeCe started.

Winston looked from Nick to CeCe, startled by her suggestion, "No way! We all agreed that Jess should be the one to do it," Winston started, looking back at Nick's confused expression.

"Tell me? Tell me what? What are you guys talking about?" Nick asked looking between Winston and CeCe.

"We have to tell him," CeCe repeated. "Look at him, he's on the verge of a freaking breakdown. I for one am not sending him to an apartment alone with Jess, he could freak out, it's too risky," CeCe said frowning at Nick.

Winston sighed, "If you're gonna do it, just do it, let's get it over with," Winston said, covering his eyes with his hand and leaning his head against the seat. CeCe was right though, Nick was way too volatile right now. He had known this since he had first started talking to him back in Chicago, but wasn't sure how to really describe this new change in Nick. Nick had always been sad and angry, but this was different. Before Nick would just flip out and start screaming whenever he was angry, he would sob uncontrollably whenever he was sad; his emotions were always right there on the surface, no matter how ridiculous or unreasonable or over the top they were. Now, he was trying for whatever odd reason to hold everything back. It was clear his emotions were still right there, boiling on the surface, but now it was scarier because you weren't really sure how much had been pent up, or for how long. Winston was prepared for the worst.

"Listen, Nick, Winston wasn't being entirely honest about Jess," CeCe began, turning herself to face Nick again.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows as he struggled to comprehend what CeCe was saying, "Wait, what are you talking about, which part?" Nick began, he could feel his ears start to get hot as his body began to react to the emotions that were running through him.

"Winston may have led you to believe that Jess was sick," CeCe started.

"No, that's what he said," Nick corrected, his voice getting louder as he began to realize what they were about to tell him, "Winston said Jess was sick," Nick clarified.

"Actually, I didn't," Winston began, turning around to face Nick in his seat. "You see, I said you had to come home because of Jess, you automatically assumed that something was wrong, and I just never really corrected you," Winston explained to Nick nervously. He could tell Nick was right there on the edge, he kept running his hands through his hair, and rubbing his face.

"You said she was on bed rest for crying out loud! What was I supposed to think, Winston?!" Nick yelled, he was definitely losing it, he couldn't believe what they were telling him right now. He had just traveled across the country for absolutely nothing. He had been fine in Chicago, but now he was here, ready to have a freaking aneurism over nothing.

"Well, that part wasn't a lie, right CeCe?" Winston said, looking over to CeCe for support. He was definitely scared of Nick right now.

"He's right Nick, that part is true." CeCe offered in support of Winston.

"Okay, so wait, she's not sick, but she's on bed rest? How does that make any sense?" Nick asked, looking back and forth between CeCe and Winston. Something was definitely wrong, both of them were avoiding eye contact, and Nick's frustration was reaching a breaking point. "Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!" Nick screamed, hoping for a straight answer.

CeCe sighed, and looked at Nick, "Nick, Jess isn't sick, she's pregnant. That's why she's on bed rest. She's due in a couple of..." but CeCe didn't get a chance to finish before Nick cut her off.

"Wait, what?" Nick stopped her, holding up his hand and squinting his eyes closed at the new information CeCe had just offered. His mind started to swirl, like maybe he was going to pass out. The car was silent as CeCe and Winston gave Nick a minute to process, but his head was just getting fuzzier and fuzzier. How could Jess be pregnant, why would they bring him here for this? He opened his eyes and quickly looked around for something new to count, but couldn't find anything. His head started to grasp at numbers, and before he could stop himself he was counting the number of days he had been gone from LA. One hundred and eighty six days. Nick hadn't been back in LA in one hundred and eighty six days. Nick desperately searched the car with his eyes for anything else to count, but there was nothing, and before he knew what he was doing he was adding his one hundred and eighty six days to the number of days it had been between having sex with Jess and leaving for Chicago. He shook his head, he must have mis-counted, so he started again. He counted three times, before he finally looked up at CeCe and Winston, both of them eyeing him warily. "I'm the father," Nick said. It wasn't a question, the numbers just didn't like, but they both answered him anyway, CeCe slowly shaking her head and Winston giving him a weak smile. Nick had to get out. His heart was racing and he felt like he might throw up. He reached for the door handle but the door didn't open. He looked up, "CeCe, let me out," he said as calmly as he could, but even he could hear the panic tinged in his voice.

CeCe had never been afraid of Nick, but this was definitely a side of Nick she had never seen before. As he struggled with the back door she didn't have to think twice about whether or not to release the child locks; there was no way she was going to stay in a car with Nick like that. She pressed the button as quickly as she could, and watched as Nick flew out of the car. She slowly looked over at Winston who was holding his head in his hands. "That could have gone better," she said slowly.

Winston picked his head up from his hands and looked back at CeCe, "Ya think?"

As always, reviews are appreciated :)