"Those who make mistakes blame themselves and close their hearts. It's impossible to fix the mistake; men can't return to the past. That's why they drink." – Vash the Stampede from Trigun

Chapter Three

Itachi's POV

"…this is what I want, Itachi…right here…just you."

That was what he had said to me last night.

That was what he had said to me last night that had completely overturned my world within the space of a second.

I knew things would never be the same again; I would never be the same again; and that frightened and electrified me with something extraordinary at the same time.

"It's always just been you."

My heart ached again upon remembering how Sasuke had said that to me as well – something I was also largely less than used to, so it further served to only trigger more bouts of confusion and depleting internal analysis.

It was frustrating as it was also oddly comforting; enough to make any normal person give up dramatically and question his sanity indefinitely.

Fortunately for me, I did have to worry about resulting to such an extreme state as I had already questioned my sanity many times in the past and was more then content with never giving such a twisted topic another look again.

Last night had ended with Sasuke and me making a solemn, barely audible promise to one another; something else that I know will be staying with me for a very long time.

"Promise me, Itachi…" Sasuke said as he gripped my back harder with his seemingly deprived fingers and words, "…promise me you'll never…"

"I promise," I answered even though Sasuke had only let his words trail off rather than finish…but I knew what he was asking of me regardless, and I was more than obliged to give him my word straight away to put him at ease.

And with that, Sasuke had slowly, languidly peeled himself off of me, murmuring something behind his hand about how he needed to change into dry clothes and that I really had better hurry up before he ate dinner without me.

Back in the present, my mind was currently unable to cease pulling up such memories from only a few days' time, making me grin to myself as I continued walking blindly down the many, curving corridors with one hand feeling the wall next to me for guidance.

I was looking for the washroom, trying to recall my so-called "memorized" pathways to get to the destination from the previous night when Sasuke had led me to the shower, but this time things were not working out so well for me.

I honestly had no idea where I was, so I only had my recollections to keep me company at the moment…not that I minded, though.

My second dinner with Sasuke had ended this night, and I was beginning to think I finally understood was happiness and fulfillment truly mean in one's life, as I knew without a doubt that I thoroughly enjoyed eating with Sasuke and just talking aimlessly about anything with him.

The more random and light-hearted our conversations were, the better they made me feel.

Simple pleasure, really.

For instance, earlier tonight, Sasuke had asked me if I had been in any relationships with anyone while in Akatsuki.

I had blushed hotly when he posed such a nosy, obnoxious question, but still answered him nonetheless.

"There was this one overly-annoying person named Deidara that was always nagging at me about being a couple, but that…is just not…a pleasant memory for me, so let's just drop it," I murmured clumsily, eager to move onto the next set of inquiries between us.

Sasuke had laughed at my little story, and I was immediately taken in and charmed by such a heart-warming, positive sound.

However, in friendly yet just retaliation; as per our new dinnertime rules; I decided to ask Sasuke a hugely embarrassing question.

"Why did you kiss me in the shower yesterday?" I asked still with a kind, small smile on my face from before.

I could sense the air between us quickly grow a touch more serious upon asking my question, and I sort of regretted doing so, until…

"I just…really…needed to," Sasuke replied; there was no hesitation or uncertainty, as his words were extremely somber with heavy, hidden meanings behind each one.

Sasuke continued, probably feeling the need to clarify since I had chosen to remain quiet and calculative, "Do you remember that one day a long time ago when I hurt my leg while trying to impress you in the woods? And you had to carry me home?"

I set my cup with a soft 'clunk' on the table before answering, "Yep. You twisted your ankle pretty good that day as I recall."

"Well, it was not…entirely an accident," Sasuke confessed, prompting me to raise an eyebrow at him as he went on, "I had wanted to ride on big brother's back, and have my arms holding onto you."

I was speechless, totally moved and humbled by this new revelation of such a treasured memory of mine, and I had to sort of uncomfortably dig my toe into the hard floor to keep from tearing up.

"So…I kissed you last night because, just like that time when we were little, I just feel this strange urge to touch you."

Then…I was flabbergasted, utterly unable to speak and I was also pretty sure that I would have ungracefully staggered back had I not already been sitting down.

I also was only made aware of the fact that my mouth was hanging open, for I suddenly felt Sasuke lightly dab his napkin to my lips; moving them around a little; as he chuckled cutely by my side and mumbled something about manners.

Dinner had ended quietly but peacefully after that.

The meals we shared on this second day of us being together were just so incredibly bittersweet and refreshing, as we brothers were just genuinely enjoying the other's company at last…as if nothing horrible had ever happened at all.

And I was actually becoming fond of our 'any question for a question' game that had initiated out of thin air; just us being curious about the others' life so far.

Any mental discord I had been previously having was blissfully decreasing with each passing moment I spent with Sasuke, so I had felt confident enough about walking around on my own for a change.

Wrong.

I was completely lost, and had been so for a while now.

For the briefest of moments, my thoughts would wander off onto unexplainable tangents, like how I wondered if Sasuke would ever find me, how the miso soup at dinner tonight may have had too much tofu in it, how going to the washroom did not even seem important to me anymore…etc.

Wait.

What was that noise?

"ITACHI!!!" Sasuke shouted from down another hallway that was a little further ahead and on my left; making me realize that I must have been coming close to another open section that veered off in multiple directions.

He sounded scared and angry; like he had been crying, and my throat tried to close up before I forced it not to so I may reply back to him.

"Right here!" I called back, still walking slowly with my hand gliding alongside on the cool, rough surface of the stone wall next to me.

I did not have to walk too much further, though, for I was suddenly felt two long, lean arms wrap around my middle before being roughly tackled to the ground with all of Sasuke's weight directly on top of me.

I sort of 'oof'ed upon being hurled to the ground as abruptly and unexpectedly as I had been; my breath momentarily leaving my lungs before I mentally collected myself and carefully sat up on my elbows.

I really wished I could have seen Sasuke right now, for he still had not let go of the sides of my new shirt as he kept his forehead pressed firmly against my stomach – his whole body trembling as his fingers clutched tighter onto my clothes.

"I've been looking for you everywhere…" Sasuke said shakily, desperate not to let his sobbing show too much, "I was…going crazy…not knowing where you were."

"Sasuke, I…" I felt so ashamed; this was my fault; "I'm sorry."

"You promised!" Sasuke suddenly shouted as he raised his head from my torso so he could properly look me in the face as he vented; his next sentence much more grief-stricken, though, as he continued, "…you…p-promised me."

My heart broke, and I had to swallow this horrid, awful-tasting lump in my throat before speaking.

"I…wasn't leaving, Sasuke," I explained calmly, taking a chance and freeing a hand so I could touch him, "…I'm not going to break my promise."

I did not have to reach far before I felt the smooth, soft skin of Sasuke's cheek against my fingertips; my fingers slow and careful in their movements so as to soothe and not frighten him anymore.

I never wanted to frighten Sasuke again.

As I slid my fingers adoringly across his cheek and a little into his hair, effectively holding his small face in my hand, I felt Sasuke sigh comfortably against my palm and lean into my touch.

The realization made my soul stir in the pit of my stomach that I could relax him like this.

"I…I thought…"Sasuke whispered as he subtly turned his face more into my hand so that I felt his nose and lips against my flesh, "…I was going to lose you again…Itachi."

The previously broken pieces of my heart easily, painfully melted down into a liquid-hot mass of nervousness and trepidation, and I knew that the only thing I could do to handle this situation, was just do whatever I just felt was right.

That being said, I automatically pushed myself into a sitting position and pulled Sasuke the rest of the way into my lap; the younger simply complying as I kept my one hand gently on his face and added the other to the other side.

"You won't lose me. I swear, Sasuke," I said softly but resiliently to my little brother as he continued holding my shirt in an iron grip while my sightless stare remorsefully could not see his perfect, angelic face as I so desperately wanted to.

I think it was at this moment that I subconsciously accepted the fact that I would give anything in order to physically see him again.

Sasuke had been so thoroughly rattled by my temporary absence – I was stunned and more than humbled by such a strong, passionate response; I had to hold him closer and tell him over and over that I was sorry.

Slipping my hands from his tear-dampened face into his silken, spiked hair; I mindfully brought the side of his face to my chest and held him as a parent would hold their distraught child that needed comforting words and contact immediately.

Into his naturally unruly hair, I breathed, "I'm sorry Sasuke…so sorry. I won't leave your side again if that's what you wish."

"It is. So…never again, okay?" he replied around his quieting sobs with a little bit of a childish whine to his voice; my eyebrows instantly rising as a small smile tugged at my lips in response.

His impossibly tight grip on my shirt loosened until he just finally dropped his hands into his lap; the move cueing me to start detaching myself from him as well – we had been sitting there for a short while, and I could only presume that both of us were getting tired.

I had only just shifted my weight a little, as one needs to do to in order to somewhat elegantly stand up from sitting on the ground, but stopped moving the instant I heard Sasuke tell me to simply 'wait.'

I froze and asked, "What is it, Sasuke?"

Quite amazingly, I actually heard him softly lick his lips before cooing lowly but seriously to me, "Sleep with me tonight."

I was silent for a moment; save for a small, troubled sigh that escaped me; as things on my mental List of Smart and Smooth Replies were being hastily eliminated one by one for me to use.

With my mind unable to find any kind of organized answer to such an out-of-the-blue request, I stammered and sighed out rather unintelligibly, "Uh…um…"

Sure to have picked up on my instantaneous apprehension towards the proposal, Sasuke quickly added, "Just sleep. I just want you to be there with me…pl-"

I hurriedly placed a no-nonsense finger to his lips upon hearing the beginning of the one word I asked Sasuke not to say to me, for reasons concerning my clear and evident undeserving state to have those kind of politesse said to me from someone like him…and how insanely horrible it made me feel to actually hear it from Sasuke.

It just was not fair to Sasuke, so I was quick to prevent it from happening – I could not break any more at this point.

"It's fine, Sasuke. I'll do as you say…just…come on," I replied probably a little too cold to him as I moved to stand up again; Sasuke immediately following my lead and getting to his feet as well.

What I had wanted to say instead was, "I'll do as you say, just please…stop being so nice to me. I cannot accept something like that from you. I am not worthy of it. You should never have to say 'please' to me. Do you understand?"

I had chosen to say what I had, however, because I knew Sasuke would protest to the fullest extent to the latter idea. He was always so stubborn, and I knew that he just plain would not understand what I was trying to tell him in this respect.

With Sasuke leading the way, we walked side by side in a mutual silence – both of us having a lot to turn over in our minds at the moment concerning the other and what had happened back there in the corridor where we met up.

My brows felt permanently knitted together as I could not help but feel incredibly guilty for how I spoke to Sasuke, basically just writing him and his idea off just so we could get moving and avoid any further digging into such a sensitive subject.

"The room is on the right. When you go in, there's a bathroom about twenty-seven feet to your left, bed is directly ahead a good fifteen feet, and there are a few armchairs and dressers located on the opposite side of the room from here," Sasuke explained to me; my own mind's eye painting all of this information inside my head so I could better know where these things were.

"Got it," I replied back militarily with a sharp nod of my head, still too damned choked up and insecure to apologize profusely for my own pitiful cruelty just yet.

"Okay, well, go on in. I'll be right back," Sasuke said; the subtle but brutally present sadness in his voice more than killing me in this point in the game, and I knew right then that as soon as he got back, I was going to apologize to him as I knew I should.

Turning to my right, I walked into the room, hearing the audible difference between the sounds of my footsteps on the hard hallway floors, and the much smoother, hollower sounds produced by the better-kept bedroom flooring.

Admittedly, I bumped into the bed, overestimating its distance within the room a little, but then made my way around it; trailing my fingers against the soft edges as I went; until I located one of the aforementioned armchairs on the far end of the room.

They seemed to be rather large in size and quite comfortable, but my only desire was to place my clothes on one of them before retiring.

Meticulously, since I was too caught up in the mental tides of doubt and low self-efficacy, I stripped off my black, three-quarter length shirt, folded it, and placed on the chair cushion. Next to come off were my recently acquired forearm wrappings, which I expertly unraveled, collected neatly into rolls, and then placed next to my shirt. Last to be removed was my new fishnet shirt that I folded as well and placed on top of everything – pants and necklace stayed on.

I stretched my neck out to a side to relieve a bit of the anxiety-induced stress I had built up over the past few hours, and then remembered to take down my pony-tail.

Hands in my hair tugging away at the little band of elastic, I sat down on the bed, pleasantly surprised to feel how supple and soft it really was. The comforter was just pliant enough to still be warm and durable, but while still having this undeniable cloud-like touch to it – I knew I was going to sleep well.

My hair-tie securely on my wrist, I dropped my shoulders down dramatically so I could have a moment where I did not have to hold them up anymore and just let my constantly-alert muscles and stature have a small break.

I craned my neck to the other side this time, pleased when I heard another satisfying crack, before simply dropping my head down low and thoughtfully running my fingers through some loose strands of my long hair.

I probably looked like someone going out of their right mind, the way I continued to meticulously comb through my hair with my fingers and just sit in silence – all the while, my thoughts would just not stop even despite how sinfully exhausted I was.

It had been a long past few days, and I felt the weight of it all trying to creep up on me as I was left by myself and flirting with desolation anyway.

Then, I heard Sasuke enter the room and approach the bed, opposite to where I was.

Facing away from him and just staring at nothing with dreary, half-lidded eyes, I breathed in a good amount of air before slowly exhaling it out – all the while, I could hear the small 'plaps' of his discarded garments being tossed onto the bed as he undressed.

I licked my suddenly dry lips before saying, "Sasuke, I have to apologize to you."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked as he gathered up his carelessly tossed clothes into his arms and briefly walked away for a second – to put them in some kind of receptacle, no doubt.

"I had no right to be rude to you earlier. So…I'm sorry," I confessed mournfully, sort of feeling like a 'bad dog' that had bitten his master or something of the sort.

His side of the large, overly-compensated bed dipped down for a second, making me realize that Sasuke had already lain down – him still having yet to say anything back to me.

I followed his example, having needed him to act first before I did since this was his idea and I was only to do what he wanted me to, and got situated under the covers on my side; already taking in how wonderful the numerous pillows were against my head and shoulders, how heavenly the sheets felt against my bruised, harsh skin, and how just sleep-inviting the huge, extravagant bed was overall.

My eyes closed right away; too tired to remain open while lying on something so magnificent and appealing; as I quickly re-arranged my hair from being trapped underneath my body to splaying out amongst the pillows.

"Itachi," Sasuke said in a very adorable 'bedroom voice,' drawing my attention straight away, though I did not open my eyes.

"Mmm…" was my sleep-craving reply back to my younger brother lying equally comfortably next to me.

"I don't hate you, you know" Sasuke whispered as he scooted closer to me, inch by scrupulous inch which only served to drive away my lovely fatigue and make me acutely aware of what he was doing.

His quiet but powerful declaration made me open my eyes; my face already that of distress and worry once I did so…and for one reason or another; I simply could not find my voice or reason right away.

Sighing to myself, I knew I needed to get over my own mental friction and say something to intervene before he could get any closer - again, my motives relying on my self-imposed fact that I did not deserve such treatment from him and how it would probably be best if Sasuke kept his distance from me, theoretically as well as literally.

I just did not want to see him get hurt, or have any further trouble on my behalf anymore.

"Maybe you should, Sasuke…" I replied with more than sorrow in my soft, whispered words to my little brother who was now right by my side; the tips of his toes lightly touching my ankle as he curled his body even closer to me and placed a tentative hand on my shoulder nearest him.

He must have been lying on his side with his cool, piercing eyes looking directly at me.

I gulped and cast my sightless eyes away from him; feeling completely at fault…and more than tempted to just ignore it and accept this new-found tenderness in my life; like some kind of uncaring and undignified lush who does not know the first thing about something like caring about someone else so much that you'd see to them not having to care about you.

"I don't…and I won't ever," he repeated gravely with a tiny, emphasizing squeeze to my shoulder, his warm breath ghosting over the flesh of my bicep; making me shiver and draw my bottom lip into my mouth to slightly nip at in between my teeth.

Apparently wise to the torture I was currently inflicting to my lips, Sasuke removed his hand from my shoulder and instead placed it on my cheek, gingerly turning my head to face him.

His thumb rubbed back and forth over my lips; rendering me unable to gnaw on my sensitive flesh any more; and I could not help but start to relax from such a calming, repetitive ministration that truly meant the world and more to me.

"I wish I could take away your pain, Itachi..."Sasuke confessed as his gentle stroking of my lips came to a halt; my heart practically ready to burst out of my throbbing chest at this moment as my mind raced to desperately understand the gravity of what Sasuke was really telling me.

"Sasuke…"I sort of pleaded to him with a defeated sigh, unable to say any other words, though I wanted to with every fiber of my being – so much to tell and ask, but no words to even construct the proper ways of doing so.

I felt a little trapped by my own wordless melancholy.

Suddenly, I felt Sasuke's bare chest slide over mine as he pulled his upper half somewhat on top of me at an obscure angle – his lips quick to find my own and capture them in their warm, welcoming embrace.

The hand that was previously holding my cheek was now gripping the corner of the pillow that I was resting on as Sasuke held himself up and over me; his hot, supple mouth needy and wanton against my own; totally stealing away the rest of my conscious thought and vocabulary.

In carefully executed movements, Sasuke tilted his head to a side to deepen our kiss as he also shifted more of weight on top of me – both sets of lips parting only to be reattached again as Sasuke plunged his soft, wet tongue inside my mouth that immediately sought out my own with which to play.

I was so wonderfully thoughtless in this moment, too caught up in everything that was Sasuke to care about anything else – how his soft bangs tickled my cheeks, how indescribably cleansing and amazing his lips and tongue felt against my own, and how everything that Sasuke seemed to do and say to me was nothing short of a miracle.

Hopelessly caught in his blissful spell, I lifted my hands and gently seized the sides of his jaw, determined to have a little control of the situation as I hastily parted our lips but only to have his head angled the other way before attacking his mouth again; our all-too eager tongues already meeting outside of our mouths before our lips were completely pressed together again.

Much to my delight, this made Sasuke mewl for me and free his hands from wherever they were to greedily clutch onto my bare, broad shoulders; such a highly arousing sound and action by him totally electrifying my senses and making me softly pant for him in turn.

Then, in a move that had me gloriously at my wits' end and ready to do virtually anything for this man, Sasuke leisurely slid his hands from my shoulders up my neck and to my jawline, taking hold of lightly with dexterous, determined fingers that had me melting underneath them.

Breaking off our kiss, Sasuke carefully tilted my head back with his hands as he let his lips travel down to my throat; pressing kiss after kiss until he reached my Adam's apple that he proceeded to lick and nip at affectionately.

Upon having our lips separated at first, I had let a tiny, airless sigh escape me, but when I had felt Sasuke attend to my throat; his fingers still keeping my chin tilted upwards as he worked; I could not help it when my lips parted further in surprise and I gasped out loud.

Sasuke obviously approved of my reaction as I felt his lips curve into a wicked smile against my heated, sweating flesh as he pressed another chaste kiss to my throat.

As soon as his lips finished their kiss with a little wet smacking sound, Sasuke removed his hands from my face and planted them firmly on the bed beside me, slowly lifting himself up from my larger form and hovering directly above me – my nerves on fire and positively sizzling with a ravenousness need for more.

"I love you, Itachi," Sasuke purred to me, still keeping just barely above me so he could probably read any reactions, "…I always have."

"Sasuke, I…"I tried, but stopped with a sigh upon feeling Sasuke lower his head down to mine and tenderly trace his lips against my cheek, almost as if he was savoring how I felt against his own skin.

"Tell me you love me, Itachi," Sasuke breathed against my face as he nuzzled my cheek a little bit harder; totally endearing and slaughtering me in the direst of ways, "…please, I need to hear that you love me…"

That was it. I was broken - wholly and permanently.

I turned my face towards his, returning his practically delectable nuzzling for a moment, before softly kissing his lips and wrapping my arms possessively around his shoulders; making his smaller frame all but melt into my own as he returned my kiss with such dedicated fervor that I knew what I was about to say would not be in vain in any way.

Still keeping our lips touching from our kiss, quietly, sincerely, I said to him, "I love you, Sasuke…I've never stopped either. And I meant what I said before; I'm never going to leave you again. I think I would rather die..."

I felt a single tear hit my collarbone before I freed my hands from around his back and brought them to his lovely, silently crying face again to wipe them away for him – I severely needed him to know that I really did care about him.

Sasuke sniffed before laying his head down on my chest; his body still breathing a bit hard from his short bout of crying; but it was quick to regain normalcy once more as he settled down and grew more comfortable lying on top of me.

"I wouldn't allow it…you to die…never…"Sasuke drowsily murmured from my chest as it became quite noticeable that he was quickly falling asleep; probably from mental exhaustion alone that our time together had spurred from so many obstacles having had to be cleared and whatnot.

I smiled at my little brother's less-than-intelligible words as I felt his breathing became steady and even; my heart swelling up dramatically of how incurably cute this was to me.

His long limbs situated, his face perfectly cuddled against my chest, I relaxed as well and just loosely held him in a sleepy embrace – my previously tormented and fearful mind perfectly at ease at this moment.

Everything was so becoming so unbelievably clear to me now, like dirt being washed off of something to reveal what was beautiful underneath. I felt content, satisfied, blissful, but more than anything, I felt this remarkable sensation of freedom take over.

It was unlike anything I had ever felt or experienced before – back when I still had seemingly unlimited restrictions and codes to abide by and tip-toe around in order just to survive and carry out orders.

No. Not anymore.

Sasuke telling me he loved me, that he wanted to be with me…going crazy when I left his sights for a moment – it all made me feel blessed and fortunate, for the first time in my life.

Now, as my cherished little brother slept soundly on my chest with his arms and legs sprawled out at odd angles across the bed, my heart was positively leaping with joy; making me smirk in the darkened, silent bedroom as I could not help but allow myself to really appreciate this moment that I never thought would happen.

I knew from that point on that I had been given a second chance…and that Sasuke had not only saved my life, but he had given me a new one as well.

Author's Note: Ha! Sweet Lord, this chapter was such a haggard bitch to write. lol. …with the flashbacks and the…whatever…going on, yeah. Crazy. Hope you liked it, so drop me a line however you please. Thanks and have a most extraordinary day, yes? XD