Rivetra Week Day 2: Letters
Author's Note: All of the words in brackets [ ] show stuff that was taken out. It's supposed to be a strike-through, but ff doesn't allow that. Sorry if it's confusing!
Warning: Slight mentions of abuse/suicide.
September 14
Levi,
This is kind of weird. I mean, no one writes actual letters anymore. But… I guess this will be a cool experience. My mom used to show me the letters that she wrote to her pen pal in England. [I still have them, I keep them to read now that she's dead.] This will be a good way for me to practice my French, and for you to practice your German, I guess.
Sincerely,
Petra Ral
September 20
Petra,
This is going to be pretty damn annoying. But, whatever, I've got to pass this class. [or my dad will beat me.] So, [uh,] what's it like in Germany?
- Levi
September 25
Levi,
Germany is, well, I don't really know how to describe it. Everyone's really friendly, and the weather's not bad. There's some really good food here. Maybe if you ever come visit, I could show you my favorite places?
Sincerely,
Petra Ral
October 1
Petra,
[France is disgusting.] France isn't a bad place to visit. Escargot is not as good as everyone thinks it is. Snails make me want to disinfect the entire world. I would come and visit, but I doubt my dad would let me. [He's an ass.]
- Levi
October 8
Levi,
[I've tried escargot before… I actually really like it.] Escargot has always sounded gross to me. Slimy and everything.
Why wouldn't your dad let you visit?
Sincerely,
Petra Ral
P.S. Disinfect the entire world?
October 14
Petra,
Would you stop with the 'sincerely' stuff? You don't have to be so formal.
Yes. Disinfect the whole world.
Ever since my mother died [she committed suicide], he's been overprotective about everything. [Not really, he's just an asshole who uses force to take control of everything. He was the reason she died in the first place.] Maybe when I'm eighteen. [I'll leave this shit hole.]
- Levi
October 19
Levi,
Sorry, I tend to be really formal when talking to people I don't know…
I get what you mean about overprotective fathers… my mother died when I was young too. Of cancer. My dad has always been kind of distant. There's not a day when we don't miss her. Papa spends a lot of time in his garden. He has her favorite flowers planted there. Gardenias. [I'm slightly afraid to fall in love. I try not to let the fear of getting hurt stop me though. But the future is so uncertain, and that kind of scares me.] Anyways, sorry, I tend to ramble…
~ Petra
October 24
Petra,
I don't know what my mother's favorite flower was. It honestly didn't matter in our family. Some father I have. When I have a wife, I'll make sure to know. That sounds stupid. Ugh, whatever.
- Levi
October 31
Petra,
You haven't replied in a while, and my teacher has been getting on my case about it.
Um, I don't know what to say. What's your favorite flower?
- Levi
November 5
Levi,
Sorry I haven't replied. It's… been a long week.
My favorite flowers are gardenias too, actually. I looked up the meaning and they symbolize secret or new love. I'm that kind of sappy, romantic person…
~ Petra
DON'T READ THIS ONE JUST BURN IT. PLEASE.
I'm just so damn frustrated with everything. Sometimes I have to force myself to do things just so I don't lock myself in the bathroom and swallow pills. I've learned how to do the most random things and have probably watched all the superhero movies in existence. I'm just so tired of everything. I might have a good number of friends at school, but I still feel so lonely all the time. I can't explain it. It's dumb. I can't really talk to anyone about it either, so that's why I'm sending this letter. I really hope you're not reading it. It makes me feel better to be able to send something off and know no one will ever read it. So please, burn this. For me.
I feel like I've lost myself. And it's no one's fault but my own. Because I'm just that stupid. God, I'm pathetic.
November 10
Petra,
I did burn your letter. I just caught a glimpse of the last couple sentences. I think we're all pathetic. Human beings are messed up to begin with. We cause pain, we get pain. It's an endless cycle of pain and brokenness. I have no idea what's going on, but I know what it feel like to be lonely. And nothing I say will make it better. World is a crappy place. I used to be a lot worse than I am now, and the only thing that kept me from leaving was the fact that people would probably make a big deal out of it. I just took it one day at a time, until it was slightly tolerable.
Anytime you want to send me another letter, I'll burn it. Drown it. Rip it into shreds. Whatever.
- Levi
November 16
That means a lot to me. Thank you. The same goes to you. There's no greater burden than silence. To feel all the words screaming in your head. It's nice to get it out.
~ Petra
November 21
So now that awkward sharing time is over…
This whole letter thing is getting pretty annoying. Wouldn't email have been a better solution? We have technology for a reason.
- Levi
November 25
Haha, maybe it's just because they want us to write longer letters? A friend showed me one of hers, and it was a full page of writing. Makes me feel guilty, because I'm sort of wasting postage…
~ Petra
November 30
We're single-handedly funding the postal service. They're thanking us for wasting postage.
December 5
That's true. But I still feel like I should write more... What's your favorite food or drink?
I'm writing this while tutoring, and the kid, Eren Jaeger, knows French too. He wants me to tell you that I think of lame questions.
December 11
Tea. Any kind of tea, unless it's too sweet.
I couldn't stand teaching brats. So annoying. The money isn't worth the effort.
December 15
Eren's actually pretty smart, you just have to figure out how to get him motivated.
I have some really great teas that you probably haven't tried. Maybe I'll send you some samples!
December 21
Sure. But nothing fruity.
I'm writing this letter at work right now. Nosy bastards are trying to read what I'm writing. But I'm trying to save up so that I can get out of this hell-hole as soon as possible. I want to travel the world. Screw college.
December 26
That's really cool! I've always wanted to do that, though it's expensive and my father probably wouldn't like it much. He needs me. Besides, I'd like to get a music degree in college.
I don't know, maybe traveling would do him good… I mean, we could buy one of those traveling homes. He could bring his gardenias with him, but getting out of the country might bring him back to life again. He used to do a lot of traveling - he'd tell me all sorts of stories when I was little. That's part of the reason why I took up the violin. He was a traveling performer, not always financially stable but he had so much fun. In fact, he and my mother would have traveled the world forever, if it wasn't for me.
Happy Birthday by the way! Although it'll be past your birthday by the time you get this.
January 2
It's decided then. You'll get your degree, and your father and I will be dragged around the world while you play your music. We'll hitchhike, steal a bus, whatever. And I'll protect you from any shitty men who will stop you from seeing every inch of the world. It'll be the three of us and a pot of gardenias.
Birthdays are nothing to celebrate. I'm just one year closer to death. But thanks.
This stupid assignment is going to end soon. My teacher wants us to write some dumb response about our experiences.
January 7
You'll protect me? Hell, no. I have a bow, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Well, I know I'll have something to write…
Do you… think we could be considered friends? I mean, I know it sounds crazy but… at the beginning, telling you my problems seemed easy because you were a stranger, but I don't think we're strangers anymore. You might even… be one of my best friends.
January 13
Don't get mushy on me. It's annoying.
January 19
You and your two-sentence replies…
January 23
That was one sentence. Not even a full sentence actually.
January 28
Shut up. We are wasting time and postage here. Okay, I'm giving you my phone number and my tumblr (do you have a tumblr?) because I am not going to keep writing letters. They're piling up.
7:14 PM: Why are you keeping all my letters? And what kind of name is: scoutingwings? - Regards, ME.
7:14 PM: Don't question my username choices. What's your username?
7:15 PM: the-tea-god
7:15 PM: Really? Should have guessed…
7:16 PM: Oh, sorry, gotta go. Papa's calling me down for dinner. Talk to you later!
April 16
I'm coming to Germany. See you soon.
8:28 AM: LEVI
8:29 AM: What
8:29 AM: You're coming to Germany?!
8:29 AM: Obviously. I'm already here, actually.
8:30 AM: Augh, you should have texted me sooner!
8:30 AM: Also, you sent me a pressed gardenia?
8:30 AM: Haha, you know those symbolize -
8:30 AM: Oh
8:31 AM: Took you long enough.
*cries because it doesn't look as good with brackets*
Second prompt to come soon...