Always Doubt Your Doubts

A/N: I. Am. So. Sorry!!!!! I don't think here are words to express how sorry I am for not posting a story sooner! I wouldn't blame you at all if you hated me, but it's in my long list of New Year's Resolutions to post more often. And maybe, just maybe, I'll post so much that you'll be sick of me and will be begging me to stop my constant writing!!! That would be nice.

Disclaimer: Terri Farley owns all that I haven't made up!!! But I wish I owned Jesse 3 *sighs, Oh, Jesse …"

GPOV:

I knew before his five minutes were up, he wasn't coming back. But for some reason, I'm not sure why, I waited. Maybe it was because I loved Jesse and wanted nothing but him to come back, maybe it was because I trusted him. I really didn't know.

I didn't know how long I had been out on the wraparound porch of Cook's Cottage, either, but I knew that I wasn't going to stand here forever. He was where he belonged, and I was where I belonged.

But I didn't think belonging put a big lump in your throat.

I didn't think belonging tore at your heart and made your eyes sting with the tears that you refused to let out.

I was alone. I knew it, too. I didn't feel the presence of Nana or Thelma, who had all most probably gone to sleep by now. I didn't feel the presence of Jesse, either because he was underwater with his own kind.

He was happy.

But I was alone.

So I succumbed to the tears which were threatening to break through the dam of my self control any second. I sat on the top stair of the porch and cried. I cried for Jesse, who I knew would be alone soon, if he was in the same family as Bull. I cried for me, selfish as that sounds, but more so for my loss. And I cried for us, for Jesse and I, for what we could have, would have been.

I don't know how long I was crying for, but suddenly I felt a pair of muscular, familiar arms circle me.

"Sweet Gwennie, don't cry. Sweet Gwennie, I'm here. I can't see your face. I don't know why you are crying." I was Jesse's voice. I would've recognized the strange lilt that you don't really hear in teenagers around here. I also heard the other thing that you don't hear in a teenager's voice very often: innocence.

I looked up and sure enough, it was him. He was wearing nothing but his old cut offs.

I was crying again, but this time, out of joy.

"Oh, Jesse!" I cried, flinging my arms around his neck.

"Oh, mo ghrá (A/N: Irish for: my love), what on earth troubled you so much that you started to cry? Did you not believe that I would return to you? Look at me Gwennie, I want to know."

I looked at him and he knew that he was right.

"Gwennie, you knew that I was going to come back. I love you. I wouldn't leave you here. I would ask Jamie to kill me if I wasn't strong enough to return to you and leave my skin at the grotto."

"No," I gasped. "No, Jesse, you couldn't! I wouldn't let you!"

"Well, there's no reason to worry about it now, is there? I am here, and I will always be here with you. Go deo." (A/N: Irish for: forever)

I leaned into Jesse's chest and sighed happily. The one I loved had chosen me over his instincts. He chose me over what he had said he had to give into, like breathing, it was as if he had no choice.

Jesse looked down at me lovingly. He really was getting better at that. Then a line of worry creased his brow.

"Gwennie, look at you, you're soaked through and shivering more than a newborn pup in its first winter."

I hadn't realized it before now, but I really was soaked through. "I'm f-fine," I chattered, now that it had been brought to my attention.

"No, you're not. Let's get you inside of the cottage before your toes start to fall off."

"J-Jesse, don't be s-silly, it's not so c-cold that my t-t-toes would come off."

But it was too late. Jesse had already scooped me up into his surprisingly warm arms. Once we had gotten into the cottage, he had gotten a towel to put on the couch and set me down. He had also acquired tact over the past week, I noted. Then he, after rubbing me down a little with another towel, swathed me in the same blanket that he had laid on when I had healed him.

He was so kind to me the whole night. He started me shower for me and stayed downstairs the whole time I was in the shower and changing.

When I came downstairs, I saw that he had made me something to eat. I don't know what had gotten into him, but I wasn't about to change him.

He must have read my thoughts through my mind because he answered my question for me. "I know that I had not been acting normal for the past week, and the whole time that I have known you because I'm not and I knew that I wouldn't have to try to fit in because by the end of the summer, I would be gone. I would have left for quite a while and by the time I would have come back, no one would've remembered my strange ways, but would remember all the good they thought I had done. But now I'm here to stay, I have to start to fit in, slowly, so no one notices the dramatic change in me, but changing still."

I was shocked. "Are you going to all of this trouble just for me?" I was incredulous.

He laughed, that laugh that sounded like waved rolling off of the rocks. "Not just for you, but for you. I love you, Gwennie, and I don't want to lose you. Not when you could marry someone like Zack. Maybe it wouldn't be someone as evil or as troubled as him, but someone like him yet."

We ate in silence and by the time I had finished, I was nearly falling asleep at the table. I was half asleep when Jesse picked me up and carried me to the loft. He ever so gently laid me on the bed with the kissing fish bed spread and settled himself next to me, his head propped up on his hand.

That was the last thing I saw before I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, a sleep which was very different than the events of today.

A/N: How was that? I'm still trying to get into the swing of things, so don't flame pleaseee!!!! Was it too OOC (besides the fact about Jesse)? Constructive criticism and advice would be loved!!!!! Please review!!!! I know I don't deserve it because I've been so horrible in not writing, but I'll be sure to leave Jesse on your porch if you do XD hahaha love you guys!!! You are amazinggg!!!!!

Lots of Love,

Thanks Bunches,

~Lissie