It took Hermione six days to read every book Remus had on the subject of Lycanthropy. Considering that he had given her over twenty books she felt confident that she had learned enough to get by for now although there were still some things she was curious about. His books mainly dealt with the virus' effect on male werewolves. This made sense because he was a male werewolf, but she knew that females varied in some respects and he had very little information on them.
She planned to take a trip to Hogwarts to scour the restricted section for anything she could find on female werewolves. That actually worked out well since she had to talk to Severus about the potion anyway. Sirius insisted on being there when she spoke with him, but she really didn't think that was a good idea. That situation could become volatile almost instantly. Since the war Severus and Sirius had settled into a quiet sort of loathing, but this catastrophe could ignite them like sparks on black powder.
Hermione waited until the men left her alone and then she secretly apparated to the gates of the school. It felt wonderful to be back here. It felt like ages when in reality it had only been about a year and a half. She enjoyed the walk, and even stopped for a few minutes to say hello to Hagrid. He had been thrilled at her unexpected visit and invited her to come by again for tea and rock cakes. She smiled and said she'd try to do it soon. The castle looked wonderful considering a large part of it had needed to be rebuilt after the final battle. Once inside she felt like she'd come home. She had spent seven of her happiest years within these walls and the nostalgia was almost overwhelming.
Several students stopped to talk to her as they made their way to classes. She was something of a celebrity to them as a major player in the defeat of Voldemort. She patiently talked to each, answering their questions and even signing a few autographs, which amused and confused her. Afterward she made her way to the headmaster's office, which was now, appropriately, Severus Snape's office. He had gratefully accepted the job after Professor McGonagall had retired after the war. After giving the password she made her way up, and knocked lightly on the door.
"Come in," Snape called. He looked up when Hermione entered and a small smile played around his mouth. "Ah, the famous know-it-all," He said silkily, "What can I do for you?"
"Hello, professor," she said fondly as she walked over and pulled him into an unexpected hug. "It's good to see you again."
Snape hesitated and then gently hugged her back. "You look well, Hermione, and please, call me Severus. I haven't been your professor for quite some time."
"Old habits die hard," she shrugged as she sat down across from him.
"So, is this a social visit or did you need something?" he asked, still smiling.
"I wish it were only a social visit," she sighed. "Actually, I was wondering if I might check a few books out of the restricted section."
"Of course," He readily agreed. "Might I ask what you're looking for? I might be able to steer you in the right direction, not that you didn't spend enough time there when you were a student."
She grinned unrepentantly, "No, I know what I'm looking for. However I do need to ask you for a favor."
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Oh?"
She decided not to mince words, so she dove right in. "Yes, I was hoping you would prepare and send us two doses of wolfsbane potion from now on."
Severus' eyes widened then narrowed and he smirked. "Let me guess, the werewolf finally bit Black during one of their little midnight romps." He said the last with lascivious inflection.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "No, actually it's for me."
"WHAT!?!" Severus screeched after gaping at her for several seconds. "What happened?"
Hermione flushed red at his incredulous tone. "We think Remus took the potion too late to be effective. He lost control and broke out of the room we had secured him in and he…well…he bit me before I could get out of the house."
Severus' face fell and he seemed on the verge of anger and guilt. "I knew I should have stayed," he said to himself. "I suspected that it might have been too late for the potion to work properly, but I had a pressing matter to attend to here, and I just left you to fend for yourself. Wait, where was Black while you were being mauled!?"
"I wasn't mauled," she corrected him stiffly. "He merely grazed my hand with his teeth while Sirius and I were trying to get out the door. I just wasn't quick enough."
He shook his head sadly. "Oh, Hermione! I am so very sorry! I should have realized…"
"Oh, not you too!" she snapped, cutting him off. "It's not Remus' fault, it's not your fault, and it's not Sirius' fault either. It's no one's fault! This was just an unfortunate accident."
"An accident you'll have to live with for the rest of your life!" he shouted miserably.
"Yes, it's one I have to live with, and I'm not blaming anyone, so no one else should either!" she retorted thickly. "So please, just drop it. Now, will you make two doses from now on?"
He opened his mouth to argue, but she glared at him. "Yes, of course I will." He sighed.
"Thank you," she nodded curtly. "Now, I need to find my books and get back. I'll see you in a few weeks, all right?"
Hermione did manage to find a few things of interest in the restricted section, but much to her disappointment, their selection of books on female werewolves was very, very slim. This confused her and she asked Ms. Pince if she knew where she might find such books elsewhere. The response she got was very distressing. According to the librarian there were so few reported cases of female werewolves which was why hardly any information was known. She said that for every fifteen werewolves made approximately one was female, but that wasn't why there was so little information. Because there were so few females, the den males often competed for them. If they couldn't be won or coerced the males, in a mating frenzy, would kidnap or simply rape them, often killing them in the process. The average life expectancy of a female werewolf was one year after first infection.
Once home she flipped through the books and quickly discovered where Pince had gotten that information. The book went on to explain that female werewolves are often more ostracized than males and therefore are more inclined to want to live in dens where they are more readily accepted. Females not in dens usually try and isolate themselves to keep their condition a secret to avoid bias and detection by random pack males who might try and harm them. Remus had experience with pack environments. She was going to have to ask him what he knew.
Sirius and Remus arrived home an hour after Hermione and she pulled Remus aside and asked him if there were any females in the den he had spied on during the war. He told her that during the entire time he had been there, only one female wolf had lived in the den, and she had died during a Ministry raid. That news was disappointing, and more than frustrating.
It was exasperating for someone who craved information in general to be denied it when it really mattered. An idea struck her then. She was soon going to be experiencing first hand exactly what it was to be a female werewolf. If the information about them didn't already exist, then she could be the one to bring it to the world. She could keep journals and write down everything she went through and then later publish her findings.
She asked Remus what he thought of her idea and he said that such a project would be a treasure to the wizarding world, however, it might also expose her to scrutiny and that could reveal her condition to the general public. He warned that if she didn't want her affliction to become general knowledge that she might want to rethink the whole thing, or at the very least be careful to write in such a way to make it seem as though she were a third person observer, and not the actual subject. Hermione agreed, having already considered this, and the next day she bought several lined notebooks and some new quills.
For the majority of that moon cycle, the only major change in her body that she noticed was a lack of her usual menstrual cycle. Normally her period was regular and could be timed months in advance. She had never been late a day in her reproductive life, so when she missed it completely, it was quite disconcerting. What made it worse was that there was no one to ask about it.
Other than that, Hermione did notice that as the full moon neared she craved red, almost undercooked meat. As a person who rarely ate red meat to begin with this was also somewhat disturbing. Also, as the full moon neared she found that her energy level spiked. She could hardly sit still most days, and nights were worse. She thoroughly cleaned the house six times in three days and when she had run out of chores she had taken to pacing. Several times during the night she would wander down to the kitchen or library to find Remus there ahead of her. He smiled knowingly and invited her to join him. His company made it considerably easier on her, but as the time of the change approached, she became more and more frightened.
Finally the day had arrived. At breakfast that morning Severus arrived to drop off two doses of the wolfsbane potion. Hermione had to put a hand on Sirius' leg to keep him from leaping at the potions master. He was still very angry about the whole matter and looking for someone to blame. Hermione chatted with Severus for a few minutes and then thanked him before sending him on his way; the whole time Sirius sat glaring at him contemptuously.
At lunchtime Remus poured out the doses and gave one to Hermione. "It tastes terrible," he warned as she sniffed the foul looking potion. "It's best to drink it as quickly as possible and then chase it with something sweet like chocolate or butterbeer."
Hermione nodded, then took a deep breath and tipped the potion back. To say it was disgusting was insulting to disgusting things. Beyond the polyjuice potion in her second year, this was the worst thing she had ever consumed. Fighting the gag rising in her throat, she forced the entire thing down, and then panting, she took a large bite of the chocolate Remus offered her. It helped ease the taste, but only just. Remus gave her a wan smile and then stoically downed his potion as well.
"Because there are now two of us we will not be able to use to attic room as it will be too small," he said as he finished chewing a large chunk of chocolate. "So, Sirius has offered us the use of the sitting room for the night. I suggest you try and nap for a few hours and then we will meet there after dinner to wait for the change."
Hermione nodded all the while knowing that it was unlikely she would be able to sleep. Still she went up to her room to rest. She read for a while, but found that she couldn't concentrate for nerves and ended up simply watching the sun make its way across the sky. Finally when it was an hour till nightfall she changed into her loosest clothes and went downstairs to fix dinner. Sirius and Remus ate like it was any other night, but her appetite was not with her and she merely pushed her food around.
Soon Remus indicated that it was time and they made their way to the sitting room. Deciding not to take any chances, Sirius warded all of the windows and reinforced the door before saying goodnight and locking them in.
"How long will it be?" Hermione asked as her nervous fingers twisted an errant lock of hair.
"Not long now," he said softly, intending to sooth her, but only succeeding in scaring her more. "Soon you'll begin to feel achy in your muscles, and then your skin will begin to itch. That's how it starts. After that the ache goes deeper and your bones will hurt, like you've just run a marathon. Your heart will begin to pound and then the pain will run deeper. I'm afraid that you will experience agony second only to the cruciatus curse tonight."
"I've felt that before, you know," Hermione told him flatly. "Bellatrix used it on me to try and get information out of me. It was…" she trailed off, not wanting to remember and knowing that soon enough she would. Remus nodded sadly and sat down to wait.
They watched the fire burn brightly in the grate for a while and soon Hermione found herself rubbing at her arms and legs. The ache was mild at first, but it quickly began to grow. Around that same time her fingers and scalp began to itch as if she were having an allergic reaction to something. She glanced up at Remus and noticed him scratching his face which had become red and blotchy.
Suddenly the pain changed and she gasped and began furiously massaging her limbs. That one gasping breath became another and another as her pulse began to race and the pain went deeper still. It felt like her skin was too tight on her bones; like it would split open at any second – and then it did.
Hermione's body contorted as her form began to elongate and long patches of fur began forcing its way through her torn flesh. Her clothes felt like iron weights on her body and she ripped at them, pulling them off and throwing them away from her- uncaring that she wasn't alone. She screamed as several things happened at once. Her face and teeth burned as they grew, her bones snapped as they changed shape and bent at odd angles, her rear end split open and her spine began to lengthen into a tail, and her skull reshaped itself to make room for her ears to move higher atop her head.
She prayed for it to be over, or in lieu of that for her mind to give up and allow blackness to swallow her until the metamorphosis was finished, but that wasn't to be. She felt every second of the agony as she fell forward onto the ground to watch her fingers swell and long black claws emerge from her fingertips. She was equally horrified and fascinated as her hands became lupine paws. Finally her scream changed pitch and volume and became one long howl.
When it was done, she laid panting on the floor; her canine sides heaving with the effort to pull much needed oxygen into her pain ridden form. It was only then she heard Remus' last agonized scream become a howl. She had completely forgotten he was even in the room with her until just then. Slowly she turned her head and watched him collapse just as she had.
As her pain faded she began to notice something new. She could smell absolutely everything. Some smells, like that of Remus' abandoned clothes and his new wolf form were much more interesting than others, but she could detect them all like wispy flavors in the air. She could also hear things that she'd never imagined. There was a fly at the window and she could hear its wings beating as if it were right next to her. Someone was walking down the street and she could hear each footfall as they landed, and there was music from cars that drove by. Her eyesight was both better and worse. Objects seemed clearer and more defined even in the darkened room, but the colors were off, as though they had been bleached or darkened.
When she had enough energy, Hermione slow stood up on four trembling legs. She was surprised when she instinctively shook out the fur on her body from her head to her tail. She stretched her new body and then took her first hesitant step. It was odd being so close to the ground, but she found that she was surefooted as she slowly moved around. Curious about her new body, she made her way to a full length mirror in the corner of the room to investigate.
Her wolf form was beautiful, even to her own discriminating eyes. She was mostly a deep brown color, the same shade as her hair normally was, though her underbelly, face and limbs were several shades lighter. She turned this way and that to take in all of her form from her tufted tail to her perky ears. Honestly, she thought herself to be quite cute and she laughed; she sound coming out as a high huffing noise. She heard a deep huff from behind her and turned to see Remus watching her self inspection. He seemed quite amused by her curiosity.
With a wagging tail she pranced over to him. His smell was intriguing the closer she got and she sniffed his head and neck curiously. He sat still while she walked in a circle around him sniffing and pawing at his fur. Finally she sat in front of him and panted happily, wondering what they should do now. Remus watched her for a moment then curled up on the floor and closed his eyes.
Hermione whimpered at him. How could he go to sleep at a time like this? She had so much energy she wanted to dance or play so how could he lay there? She wanted to play dammit! With a high whine she pawed at his head and crouched down on her front paws; her tail wagging furiously.
Remus cracked and eye open and glanced at her before snuggling back down and sighing. Hermione whined again, pawing and huffing; trying to entice him to play but all he would do was grunt and curl up tighter. Still, she kept trying and finally he looked straight at her, shook his head, and gave a low warning growl.
Hermione whimpered and backed off; upset with his stubborn refusal, but then a noise grabbed her attention. The door, which was supposed to stay locked, cracked open and for a moment an arm was visible. Instinctively the hair on her back and neck stood up and a ferocious growl ripped through her teeth. A second later a scruffy black dog nudged the door open further and inched into the room, its large grey eyes watching her closely.
Hermione, still growling, cautiously approached the dog and sniffed deeply. Sirius! She yipped happily and bounded toward him. Sirius' mouth fell open and his long tongue rolled out as he met her half way. He barked once and nodded as he circled her, examining her new body just as she had done. When he was finished he barked happily and pawed at her playfully. He wanted to play! With a happy yip she swatted at him and then darted away, encouraging him to follow, which he gladly did. They played tag, romping around the room trying to catch the other's tale as they bounded and leapt noisily around Remus' relaxed form. Eventually Sirius paused and looked over at his old friend. He whined and looked at Hermione, jerking his head in the grey and brown wolf's direction as if to say, "Why isn't he playing?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and shrugged as best she could and Sirius tilted his head in an adorably canine way and huffed out a barking laugh. It was just like Remus to act all old and dignified when those around him were being silly and childish. Sirius wagged his tail and nudged her forward and then without warning he pounced on Remus.
Remus grunted in surprise and then snarled at his friend. Hermione, understanding what Sirius was trying to do bounded in after him and together they yipped and pawed at the male wolf until he growled low in his chest and took an aggressive stance, like he was going to attack. Hermione immediately backed off, but Sirius only gave a light back and jumped back into it. When Remus backed down, Hermione resumed her taunting. Finally Remus relented and gave Hermione a playful nip on the neck and the three of them began to play.
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