A/N: Ok well…here's the final installment. I hope that it wraps it all up somewhat nicely…And I do have intensions for presenting it in the manner it is. If you paid close attention to the narrative of the last two chapters, then you'll get what I mean. :P
Disclaimer: I do not own GX. But I really really REALLY wish I did. D:
Johann hung back in the shadows, watching in horror as the people he had recently come to know as friends and heroes were reduced to being held in shackles. His eyes darted back over to Juudai, who stood at one end of the sandy arena, his hand poised above his deck as though to draw. A beat of sweat trickled down his face as he watched Brron carefully, his eyes only leaving to glance nervously, and apologetically, at his friends who lay on the platform above. A murmured reassurance that he would prevail and rescue them was not enough.
Wondering if Juudai's friends were already dead, Johann edged closer, trying to get a better look. He thought that perhaps he could sneak up to the platform and unbind them, so they might be able to escape without anyone getting hurt. As he mustered the courage to step forward, Juudai sent him a desperate warning look, a silent indication to back away. He was not going to let anyone else get caught up in this mess if he could help it.
Johann had confidence in Juudai, however. Even as he clung to the corner, whispering little urges to keep fighting, he knew that Juudai would pull through in the end. After all, he always had before. However, the brunet's distress was too great. This fight was different. He could not duel quite the way he had before because this time, he was too focused on the emotional agony of having his closest friend ripped from his side.
As Johann watched on with a mixture of curiosity and anxiety, he noticed that Brron seemed to be toying with Juudai's mind. The teen was so upset by the possibility that his friend might be dead that he was trembling all over…and his judgment had been severely impaired. This definitely was not a normal duel for Juudai; Johann could feel the dark aura seeping off both individuals. It scared him how powerful the energy was. He watched as Brron played a mysterious magic card, which caused a book to appear in the air above him. Whatever could this possibly mean? He did not have to wait long to find out.
Juudai made rash decisions, it seemed. He was too overly concerned with his friends. Johann attempted to open his mouth to assure him that he would take care of them, but Juudai just glanced over at him, signaling that he should be quiet. Worried, Johann glanced back up at Juudai's friends, who were gaining consciousness, much to his relief. Well, at least they were alive.
Unfortunately, that was the end of all good things.
"What are you looking at? Someone who I've missed?" Brron suddenly cackled, his vacant eyes seemingly focused on Juudai.
The brunet stiffened and refused to respond to the question. He merely turned his attention away from the monster in front of him, and towards his friends. He drew a card, still refusing to meet Brron's gaze.
"You think you can save them?"
This question only gained him Juudai's focus. The brunet stared him right in the eyes, before playing Sparkman in attack position. "I know I can."
No response was given to this statement; the duel was merely continued. However this did not mean that the tension dissipated. In fact, it grew worse. Especially since Juudai was distracted by his friends. He continued to glance nervously up at them. In effect, he was distracted from the duel. It grew even worse when Manjoume started to stir. Juudai called out to him, asking if he were all right. The response he got shocked both him and Johann.
"Juudai, you idiot!" Manjoume snapped, clenching his fist and glaring, "How could you? How could you think of no one but yourself? So this is your true nature. All you wanted to do was gain for yourself. And if that meant putting Johan above the rest of us, and refusing to let us help you, not even caring about us at all, then of course you would do it! It's despicable how rude you've been to the rest of us, who have stuck with you no matter what. We're not really your friends, are we? This duel definitely proves it. You'd keep going even if it hurt us, just because you think it's fun. Well, guess what? It's not fun. Life is NOT about fun and games. You have to take things seriously, which you do not. And because of your foolishness, now we're all going to die. Wake up, Juudai. The world is not all about you. I bet you don't even really care about Johan. You just want to find him for the glory of it."
"Manjoume, I—"
"Don't even try to explain!" Manjoume spat, "It's of no use. You're nothing but a blathering fool in my eyes. I can't believe I ever deemed you as a worthy opponent!"
As he was speaking these last few hateful words, the text on his neck glowed. The next thing that Johann knew, Manjoume had faded away, having seemingly exploded into particles of light. His image appeared in the book over Brron's head. Everyone stared on in shock as they realized what was going to happen. Juudai was confused for a moment, but as Brron cackled over his accomplishment, he began to understand. Weakly, he dropped to his knees, horrified that he could have walked into such a trap. Johann, as well, was taken aback. Was this really the same Juudai? How could he have let this happen? Mixed feelings overwhelmed him; his trust for the brunet gradually began to fade.
Surely, Juudai would not keep dueling. At least, that was what Johann thought. But he was wrong. He had no choice but to keep dueling; at least, that was what it seemed. Johann wished he would give up and walk away. But then again, that would not do any good in the end. Manjoume would still be trapped in the book. Juudai's friend would still be missing, and they would have gleaned no information about his whereabouts. Not to mention…he would die. He did not want his friends to live on in suffering and disgust at his memory. And he could not help them if he was dead. But…if he lived…did that mean they had to die?
In the end, it was futile. Brron forced Juudai's monsters to attack three times. It cost them dearly. Although he pleaded with his monsters to stop, he could control them no longer. His friends called out to him, deeply rent at heart. Distraught, he fell to his knees, watching in horror as they, too, turned into light particles and faded away, cursing his name as they left. He stared at the empty space where they had once resided, his mouth agape and his eyes shimmering with tears.
"No…"
Johann felt stunned. He felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. Looking worried, he wrung his hands, his teeth beginning to chatter. His own eyes blurred over with tears, and he fell to his knees. He could not stand to watch anymore. He could tell Juudai had lost his willpower to keep fighting, to keep dueling. It was almost as though he had given up. Johann felt so many things at once; hurt, betrayal, anger, horror, fear. Unable to contain himself, he hugged his knees to his chest and rocked slowly back and forth, crying softly, wondering if he were next.
As far as the duel was concerned, Johann did not know what precisely happened after that. All he saw was that Juudai's demeanor changed a second time, and that he fell victim to horrible rage. He noticed his eyes glow amber, almost demonically, and his will to duel became renewed. Only this time, it was for vengeance. This time, he had no mercy. This time, it was to kill. And in the end, that was precisely what he did. Even so, Brron mocked Juudai, telling him Johan was dead, even to his very last breath.
All was still for several moments after that. Johann saw nothing more of it; he buried his face in his knees and wept, shutting out the cruel world around him. The only thing he was aware of was the brief murmur of voices, then a cry of anguish on Juudai's behalf. It grew silent again after that. He wondered if Juudai had left, or even if he had killed himself. He was afraid to look, but he knew he had to. What if Juudai was in trouble and needed his help? He had made it thus far, having not run away and all, though that was mainly because he had been too afraid to move, so he might as well try to lend a hand. Though, it was more difficult than anything he had ever done before.
What he saw, though, made him almost want to take back everything he had pledged to himself. It made the incident finally sink in, and he realized that his hero had fallen. He backed up against the stone wall, his eyes wide. Trembling as cold sweat trickled down from his brow, his knees buckled, and he collapsed to the ground again, his eyes tearing over. One word escaped his lips in a hoarse whisper over and over again, as he fully realized what had just occurred. Juudai had done the unthinkable; he was the last person in the world that Johann had expected to have done something of this magnitude.
"No…no…"
He realized he had just witnessed one of the most horrible cases of betrayal and destruction his young eyes had yet to see. And by the looks of it, there was more to come. It was not yet the end of their agony.
He buried his face in his knees once more, crying softly. There he was, useless as ever, back to the state he had started at. And for what reason was he crying then? Just because the one he had so ardently followed and admired had flaws? Just because that one person he had looked up to with all his heart had been deceived and fallen? He had to remind himself that Juudai could make mistakes just as easily as anyone else could. Yet, he had never imagined that the brunet would fall captive to such poisonous words and such devilish trickery.
When it came down to it, Juudai was human too. He had just as much potential for downfall as anyone else. And he was not as valiant as Johann had originally imagined. At this point, he was ordinary. Average.
Once again, Johann was mistaken. He was underestimating Juudai. He saw him as harmless and helpless, just as he was. Even as he thought this, the dangerous golden gaze that stared at him so coldly from several feet away went unnoticed.
The entire incident had happened not even fifteen minutes ago, yet it seemed almost years away in Johann's mind. The shock overrode any common sense he possessed, and caused him to replay the astonishing scene over and over in his head. Soon, he was thinking only in flashes, his mind too fogged up to focus properly. He could hardly even place the events in order.
Brron mocked him. Juudai could hardly bear to hear those words...he refused to believe the "lies" that the Dark World monster told him. Juudai's friends were captured. Yet, all the same, Juudai thought he was forced into the duel, though this was a fatal misunderstanding on his behalf; at least, in Johann's eyes. Juudai's eyes…turned gold, his expression hateful. Why did it have to be that someone so idealized and strong, someone so caring and kind, had turned into such a monster, not unlike the rest of the world from which he was so deeply set apart from? Juudai's friends had died. It had all come about from this one incident…the thing that had spurred Juudai's "insanity." Juudai had killed. It was all his fault.
As much as Johann did not want to believe it, he saw this as a truth. Juudai was to blame. He had been unable to save them. He had been unable to stop Brron. And for what reason? Simply because the duel was so upheld as the right way to settle a matter? Surely, he could have put an end to it. But he hadn't. Because of his own selfish desires.
Was that even true at all? Wasn't it because Juudai had done what anyone would do and had chosen his life above everyone else's? Johann was not sure of anything anymore. Nothing was the way it should be. Nothing was really how it seemed. In all honesty, he could be mistaken. However, he doubted Juudai strongly, and he thought he had good reason. At the very least he had not been involved. Yet.
Hearing muted footsteps, Johann raised his weary head, his eyes glazed over as he remained in a sort of trance, a dream-like state. His brain hardly registered the figure before him as Juudai. But could he be blamed for this thought? That furrowed brow, that helpless expression, that bitter look in his amber eyes…no, that was not Juudai. Juudai did not have that sort of demeanor. Juudai would have never done such a foolish thing. By that point, Johann was convinced that the man in front of him was not the same individual who had saved him only days before. He was different then, in ways that Johann found almost indescribable.
The other stood tall, towering over the quivering Johann. He looked down his nose, his eyes filled with cruelty and hatred. He exuded a strange dark, yet powerful, aura; it felt menacing, oppressive, malevolent. In his encounter with the greatest inhumanity and transgression that could ever be committed, Juudai had taken on a sort of 'evil' edge to his state of being; Johann could sense the malice and the deep hurt that lingered beneath the smooth, cold surface. He was bleeding inside, all right. He was dead inside. He was numb.
Nothing was verbally exchanged between the two. For a brief moment, their gazes locked, and refused to be adverted. It was soon after that the spark was extinguished, and Juudai seemed to lose every bit of compassion and empathy left in his being. Johann could not discern what would occur next, but he figured that whatever it was, it was not going to be good. Dread rose within his throat, burning and smothering him. Slowly, fearfully, he edged away from the other, his eyes widening as Juudai advanced. Surely, he would not think of…?
"P-Please," Johann gasped, having reduced himself to begging. If only that would save his life! Bowing his head low in the dust, as a slave might, he knelt before the brunet, hoping with all his heart that Juudai would spare his physical being. "D-Don't hurt me…"
Juudai continued to stare down at the shivering creature beneath him, his gaze unwavering. He was silent, which only made the chasm between them enlarge. The only sound that filled the void was the forlorn wail of the rushing wind through the arena, emphasizing the vacancy and loneliness, reminding Johann that there was no one to help him except himself.
Trembling vigorously, he dared to lift his unworthy gaze. Juudai's piercing eyes seemingly looked right through him, in a way that cut his soul. Whimpering, he tried to look away, only to find that his entire being was petrified in fear, frozen by those captivating golden eyes.
Juudai refused to kneel by him. He refused to be brought down to the same level. Perhaps he had done so before, but something within him had changed, almost as though another personality had moved in due to the terrible emotional excruciation he had experienced.
Suddenly, Juudai spoke. His voice was stronger then, and the command boomed in the frigid empty air, resounding off the arena walls. "Get up!"
Too weak-minded to protest, Johann did as he was instructed. Hastily, he scrambled to his feet, brushing the dust from his already dirty clothes. He looked at Juudai, his teeth chattering. Everyone had seemingly abandoned him at this point. Even Jim, Sho, and O'Brien had left him to fend for himself, unaware of the darkness lurking inside of Juudai. It appeared that even Juudai had given up on himself, having been replaced by this colder individual. And there was nothing that Johann could do to stop it. He was so frightened, he could not even work up the will to speak!
Juudai took his chin in-between his finger and his thumb, raising his face and looking him over. It was strange to be so afraid of one's own savior. And it was even stranger to think that the gods had spared him only so he could suffer a much more humiliating downfall. Well, he most certainly deserved it for abandoning his mother and sister. His eyes teared over as Juudai dropped his face, eyeing him angrily.
"You're not worth my time." Having said that, Juudai turned his back, and started to walk away.
Johann blinked, stunned. He was not sure if he should be relieved yet or not. But at the same time, it hurt him greatly. Why was he not worth Juudai's time? How could Juudai just walk away like that, so indifferently, after all that had occurred? After all that they had been through? Did he not need Johann to help him find his way around Dark World anymore? Remembering all the terrible things that awaited them outside the fortified walls, Johann made up his mind that he should help Juudai nonetheless. He had to press forward, to insist. Although the boy might be in a state of shock, he would have to force himself on the brunet anyway. Juudai obviously did not know what he was doing, and it was up to Johann to snap him back to normal. Even if it was difficult, it was necessary.
Tentatively, he took a shaky step forward and licked his lips apprehensively. Taking several deep breaths, he finally called out in a loud voice, surprised at his own persistence and strength of vocal tone. "Wait! You can't go out there alone! You'll get hurt!" Even if Juudai was strong, if he was in such a daze, then it was not unlikely that his guard would be put down and he would be vulnerable to his environment and enemies.
Juudai ignored Johann and continued walking. For a moment, Johann wondered if Juudai had failed to hear his urgent cry. Then, he told himself that no, it had been far too loud for that. Juudai was ignoring him on purpose. As awkward as he felt about it, he would have to press on.
Stumbling over his clumsy feet as he tried to catch up with the brunet, Johann called out to him again, this time more sternly. "Juudai! I said you can't go out there alone! You don't know or understand this place as I do!"
Juudai glanced over his shoulder, a trace of disdain apparent on his delicate features. He refused to respond, though, and turned around with his back fully to Johann once more.
"I'm sorry," Johann panted, coming up behind him and grasping his shoulder—in a way that he hoped was firm—"But you can't do this. It's just not safe. Let me continue with you. I can help you…Maybe…maybe there's a way to recover what you've lost."
This hit a sore nerve. Juudai slapped his hand away, then spat vehemently, "You will do no such thing! I can't waste my time with you. I have an army to recover and build!"
Johann cocked his head slightly to one side, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?" Then, still inundated by delusions of Juudai as a saintly figure, he came to a rather incorrect conclusion. "Are you going to fight off the Dark World army and save us?" His eyes gleamed with a newfound hope. Yes, of course that must be it! Juudai was in a state of shock, and also had to take on this attitude to take his rightful place as general of the rebel forces! Of course, once that need was fulfilled, he would recover what he had lost and go on with his life.
Alas, it was only the musings of a fool, it seemed. Juudai's gaze regarded him spitefully, almost scornfully, as he turned to face him completely. "No."
There was no need to go into further explanation. That simple reply said it all. Johann could see the lust for vengeance burning in Juudai's eyes as he clenched his fist in resolution. The rest went unspoken, but Johann could guess from the way Juudai was behaving. He could see it in Juudai's eyes, and it was communicated nonverbally. It was true that he was not going to fight against the Dark World army. No, that was far too simple. It seemed, rather, that he intended to take control of them and become their leader. What he aimed to do by this, Johann did not know. He was not even sure if that was really the case. However, the brief visions that flashed in his head, inadvertently planted there by Juudai himself, were enough evidence to support his theory.
Johann felt his stomach sink. Why would Juudai do such a thing? What was he talking about even? Was this some sort of trick? Or was he mocking him? Perhaps, even, Juudai was planning on taking Brron's place, only to make things good for the oppressed people of Dark World. Even then, he clung fast to hope, simply because he had nothing else and because it was Juudai. Yes, Juudai was to blame for this. But he could turn it around and justify it, if only he would do something for the good of society.
Somehow, Juudai could figure out Johann's thoughts. He said nothing, but Johann could feel his presence inside his mind. And he really did not like it. How was it, even, that someone he had barely known had access to his thoughts? Was he truly that powerful? Or was it something else? Subconsciously, he knew that he and Juudai had some sort of connection, one that was inexplicable given the circumstances. However, this was the only explanation for his ability to perceive Johann's thoughts…Or was it?
Johann was swiftly brought back to reality by Juudai's harsh voice. "Move."
"Wh-What? I can't! If I do…you'll go out there alone and…" He trailed off, unable to bear the mental image.
Even if Juudai had turned on him, he refused to believe it. He refused to accept it. No, he would not let his hero fall like that! If Juudai would not fight for himself, then Johann would fight for him. He would pick up the slack and give him a shoulder to lean on. It was only fair, after all, to repay him for saving his life. It was time for him to save Juudai's. Little did he know how deeply he was getting involved.
"If you're going to get in my way," Juudai hissed, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits, "then I'll be forced to eliminate you."
Johann faltered, taking a step back. The old fear resettled in his heart; he did not possess the courage or the strength of mind to continue in this dangerous undertaking. However, he reminded himself that he was the only one between Juudai and complete perdition. Juudai was hanging by a very thin string, and he needed to be dragged back to the safety of reality. Whether or not he returned was up to Johann.
"I…I won't back down," He stammered, trying his best to stand his ground, though he was trembling. He swallowed hard and forced himself to stare into Juudai's unearthly gaze.
Looking displeased, Juudai turned back around. Without another word, he started for the exit again. Johann was taken aback at how disrespectfully he had just been treated. Did he pose no threat to Juudai? Was he really that pathetic and worthless? Feeling defeated, he began to sink back into the shadows, surrendering himself to the gods, inwardly praying that he had failed and they might do with him as they saw fit. But, just as he was giving up, he remembered how Juudai had not given up on him. He remembered the resolute fire burning in Juudai's eyes as he bravely dueled against Zure and then Brron. No matter what, Juudai had been willing to take the risk, and bet his life for the welfare of others. He should not be so cowardly. If he was going to die anyway, then he might as well try to help. After all, how silly was it to surrender oneself to death when one was afraid of that very thing? If that was what was holding him back, then he had to learn to face his fear, and conquer it. How many times had he told himself this truth already?
Trembling vigorously, he stumbled back towards Juudai, having to trot to keep up. He seized the brunet by the shoulder again, digging his nails into his jacket. "I won't let you destroy your life like this. I can't let you give up…"
Juudai turned again, slapping his hand away. Johann's breath hitched in his throat as he fell backwards, to the dusty earth. He stared up at Juudai, his breaths coming sharper and shallower.
"It's none of your business."
"It is when you've dragged me into it," Johann said in a small voice, looking downcast. He was not so sure that he should be saying these things, even if he had already made up his mind about them. "You aren't yourself and no one else is going to do anything about it. So do you really expect me to sit back and do nothing? I admired you so much…" He bit his lip, sinking down lower to the ground, almost prostrate, as though he were indecisive about whether he should worship the brunet or appeal to his better nature by begging for his life.
Juudai drew nearer to Johann, slowly. "Is that really what you think?" He circled around the teal-haired boy, his eyes narrowing again. "It is none of your concern no matter how much you believe it to be. Now, be gone before I change my mind."
Johann did not want to know what Juudai meant by this. More than anything, he would have liked to have heeded the other. However, he had a promise to fulfill. Squeezing his eyes shut, he told himself that even if he died, it would be worth it. If only he could save one individual from the utter corruption of all humans. If only he could conquer impossibilities and help Juudai to achieve divinity.
Shakily, he pushed himself up to a sitting position so that he might look upon the face of the one he once called his savior. That same person, as difficult as it was to believe, seemed to be the road to his demise. Yet he would not admit it. He refused. He would not accept Juudai's flaws for long. He could get past those. Johann had faith in him. If only he could shake him of it. But it seemed as though there was little chance unless he dueled him. The problem was…Johann could not duel. There had to be an alternative.
"Juudai…" Johann whispered, his eyes drifting to the boy's feet, "I cannot leave a friend behind. Not anymore. That was the old me. I can change…"
"And so can I."
Silent seconds elapsed as the two stared into each others' eyes, trying to gain common ground. Juudai's eyes were still as cold and bitter as ever; Johann's were as meek and gentle as they always had been, only with an undertone of determination. No, he might not have been very strong. But he had resolution, and that would suffice for the time being. It would not be enough in the end; however, he was too naïve to understand this.
"Please," Johann whispered, "Just give me a chance to help you."
Juudai stared at him unblinkingly, obviously unimpressed. "You are useless to me."
"I won't be useless!" Johann insisted, frowning, "I'll do what I must!"
It was then during the heat of emotion and tension, at the epitome of his desperation, that he was delusional enough to believe he had been called by the gods for a specific purpose; the reason he had survived must have been so he might liberate Juudai. So what if he had never dueled before? If that was what the gods wanted, then they would lead him to victory!
"Juudai…if you won't listen to me…then I know what I must do to make you," Johann told him, clenching his fists.
Juudai refused to reply, just turned his back, ignoring him.
Taking a few deep breaths, Johann mustered up the courage, as foolish as it was, and called out to him, his normally weak voice echoing through the arena, carried by the wind. "Duel with me!" At this point, he could not take it back.
Juudai stopped. He turned and cast a gaze in the other's direction, looking almost complacent. "A duel? With you? You wouldn't last. You're not worth my time. You haven't ever dueled before." Waving it off, he continued to walk.
"I'm serious!" Johann shouted, "Duel with me! I don't understand why you'd turn your back on the challenge. It's unlike you!"
"But see how you tremble. You're not ready. You can't give me a good duel."
Johann would not allow Juudai to brush him off so easily. He hurried over to the brunet, stepping in his way, outstretching his arms so he could neither pass to the right nor to the left. "Just duel me! I'll change your mind…"
Juudai directed his golden gaze back towards Johann, looking him right in the eyes, sending chills up and down his spine. "Very well. Where's your deck, then?"
Johann faltered. "I…uh…" Perhaps the idea had not been so much inspiration from the gods as he had originally imagined. He could practically hear them laughing at him, sneering.
"Just as I thought. Pathetic."
"No, don't turn away!" Johann begged, falling to his knees and looking distraught, "You must duel me!"
"And why do I have to?"
Silence answered Juudai. Johann was not prepared to answer any of his questions. There was absolutely nothing he could do or say. Finally, seeing that they were going nowhere, he just sat in the sand, sifting it through his fingers nervously as he watched Juudai walk away. This time, he let the boy go. What else could he do? He was not prepared to deal with him right away. There was still hope that things would turn around. And when they did, he would be ready to help Juudai back to his feet. After all, that was what friends did for each other. And Juudai was his friend, whether the brunet wanted to believe so or not. Juudai was the first real friend that Johann felt he had ever had. It did not matter how long he had known Juudai. Rather, it mattered how Juudai had treated him during that time. Sometimes, the way that one treated another determined friendship better than the amount of time they had known each other.
The fire of determination refused to be quelled in Johann's heart. Even when three days had passed since he had last seen Juudai, and he was living in the rubble of destroyed villages off of whatever sustenance he could find, he still refused to give up. If there was one thing that Juudai had taught him, it was to hope, and to never let go. He knew that one way or another, he would run into Juudai again. Where there was trouble, Juudai was sure to show up sooner or later. And there had been nothing but trouble ever since that incident in the arena.
There had always been restrictions and surveillance around those areas. But it seemed to have grown ridiculously worse since the week before. Soldiers marched up and down the countryside, scouting out victims and surviving villages. Nothing was left in their path. There were more than a few narrow escapes on Johann's behalf. These soldiers were not like they had been before. At this point, they were cruel, indifferent, murderous. It seemed as though their ultimate goal was to eliminate all life on the earth they trod so tirelessly, day and night. They killed anything and everything that they came across, sneering and mocking as they inflicted the coldest of torments on the victim. And Johann felt as though he were a sole witness to this sort of treatment, trapped in the solid walls of a crumbling hut, an ironic reflection of life and society in Dark World itself. Mesmerized in horror, he could do nothing but watch on, hunched over underneath an overturned table, gazing out of a small hole in the wall. It was a mere glimpse of what life was like, those days, but to Johann, it was almost as though he had seen every curse that a man could see. No transgression was spared the inhabitants of that land. No mercy was shown to those that so valiantly fought or so fearfully beseeched their lives.
Johann often wondered what sort of higher being, what sort of divine entity, would allow such a low act of human disgrace to occur. Had the people's offerings displeased them? Always having been a devout believer of the gods, always having never questioned them…had led to this? His faith in them was shaken, his view and beliefs tainted by the bitter blood of war. And who was to blame for this widespread calamity? Was it a single foe, or was it just society lashing out against itself due to the utter chasm between social castes? No…the culprit was soon revealed verbally, though Johann had yet to see him. Or so he had thought. Little did he know that he had been the first to encounter this man, this creature, which brought about the ultimate downfall of the world.
It began as a dull murmur, and grew louder and more triumphant with every soul sacrificed, with every drop of crimson shed upon the soil, until the very earth shook with the unanimous mighty cry.
"Haou-sama! Haou-sama! Haou-sama!"
The sound of the voices of thousands of soldiers joining as one to relay the message sent chills up and down his spine. It was akin to the marching of thousands of feet, the harbinger of death and destruction. The chant in itself sounded like sinful glory given to one who did not deserve it. It was so twisted how they viewed such a terrible thing to be desirable, and they gave praise to the one who ignited the beginning of the end. Johann would have been afraid that, had the firmament not been fixed in its place, it would have shattered at their cries, the white hot stars streaking down to engulf the world in flames and put an end to the sorrow of man. The world seemed close to an apocalyptic collapse.
Trying to forget these dreadful thoughts that invoked realized fears to surface, Johann curled up tighter under the drapery that he used as a blanket, and shivered. That thin piece of fabric and those ruined stone walls were the only things that shielded him from the cold reality of the outside world. He could feel it creeping in every second, through the windows on the whistling wind, and through the cracks in the ceiling from the dying light of the comet. He had thought he had known terror. But he had been mistaken. Never before had he been so completely immersed in his fear that it chilled him to the very bone, making him feel as though he were literally dying bit by bit, second by painful second. The sheer agony ripped through his veins, brought about by cold, hunger, sickness, injury, and emotional imbalance. There was no way to cure this illness, it seemed. The only thing that could make it right would be if humans and monsters made it right; if they worked together to rebuild the world which they had destroyed. Harmony and peace were disrupted. They had since taken flight and left him there, alone. He was not sure how he would make it through the night.
He lay still for some countless hours, until his stomach growled so loudly he feared that those occasional visitors to the village would hear it and investigate. He would have perhaps risen to obtain some food or some drink, but he no longer had the strength to do so. No, he had not even the willpower. He was too afraid, too beaten, too crushed. Lying in a fetal position, as though trying to return to the state before he was born, he deemed that things were much better if he simply waited them out. Though, in reality, he knew he would not last much longer if he refused to seek food. He coughed weakly, trying to suppress it, though he failed to succeed in the end, and he cringed as it echoed in the room.
What ensued seemed to him to be an ironic change of events, a sort of mockery and a slap in the face on the gods' behalf. There was the sickening crunch of armored boots on rubble and broken bones, as some person came nearer to his hiding place. He froze, every muscle in his body tense and trembling. His breaths grew ragged, coming in short, fast gasps. And as much as he attempted to keep quiet, he was unable to. His body refused to listen to him, responding involuntarily to the stimuli. He felt as though his delusions and fogged-up mind had caused him trouble; he really should have gone to search for food earlier. Then perhaps he would not be in this predicament. Then perhaps he would have heard the person enter the hovel.
But perhaps they were an ally? This only offered the distant warmth and comfort of wishful thinking, though. It was obvious by the heavy, thudding footsteps, and the slow, ambling movements that the person was quite large and muscular, and weighed down by armor. No, it was not a member of the rebel force. They were all but extinct. He had done nothing but dig his own grave by letting Juudai walk away. He felt dread mixed with bile rise from the pit of his stomach, burning his throat. He felt dizziness overcome his senses as his vision blurred; he was almost to the point of fainting. The last thing he wanted to do was fall unconscious at such a crucial moment. He had to keep his bearings about him so that he might be able to ward off the danger to the best of his ability. Or, at least escape. Perhaps he could even barter for his life. Or maybe he would not be killed at all. Who was to say that he would be slain? What if he were only going to be recruited as a slave? Life as a slave was far better than death, in his opinion. He was so immensely frightened by the prospect of death. Nothing was worth that.
"What have we here?" An ornery voice grunted disagreeably, as a gnarled hand shot forth and seized him firmly by his tattered shirt collar.
Despite himself, he emitted a small, unmanly squeak at the contact. The soldier grinned impishly, his sharp teeth gleaming in the dim light as he lifted Johann from the ground. The blanket fell from the boy's thin shoulders, revealing a dirty face and terrified teal eyes. Laughing so that his entire body shook from mirth, the soldier gave him a good shake, his claws digging into Johann's tender flesh, drawing blood.
"Well, well, if it isn't a survivor…How did you manage to escape us for so long, hm?"
Swallowing hard, Johann licked his lips and tried to formulate some sort of competent response. All he could think of to say was a pathetic, "But I thought you were not around anymore!" It came out whinier than he had intended.
Laughing again, the soldier hoisted him up higher, then slung him over a shoulder, causing all the blood to rush to his head. He nearly did faint at this. "We're not done in these areas. There's still much spoil to be reaped from the worthless ash heaps you call homes. No, there's still a long way ahead of us. And you're just lucky to have made it this far, cur!"
"M-Master," Johann gasped, after having recovered from the shock of the comment, "If you would please, spare my life. I could make a good servant and you wouldn't even have to feed me. I could gather my own food and—"
"Now, now, there'll be none of that," The solider told him, throwing him on a beaten-up wooden cart and binding his arms and legs with rope, "It is not up to you what will be done. True, the force needs many new soldiers and servants for them, as well as slaves for the castle. But if you're not healthy then you're not fit to live. And from where I'm standing, you're in a pitiful condition, young one." He grinned again, like a predator anticipating attack.
Johann felt his heart leap into his throat. "I can be of some use!"
"You are weak and girlish. If you were a woman then perhaps you could be of some use in the manner of cleaning or cooking. But you have not been trained in any of those things. Neither have you been trained to do a man's work. You are nothing but skin and bones…there's not an ounce of muscle on you! And you're sickly…Ah, yes, we shall be certain to put you out of your misery, though. Serfs like you do not last very long."
"But I do work!" Johann protested, growing desperate, "I could garden! Or I could tailor!"
"Do not take me for a fool," The soldier told him, sitting on the bench at the front of the cart and snapping the reigns, "I can tell by your hands that you have hardly farmed. Perhaps tailoring is your family's business, but we have no need for you. You're too young and weak to serve any real purpose. You probably have hardly finished your apprenticeship. Your work would most likely be poor in construction and lacking…No, we need experienced tailors. Perhaps if you were older we would consider it. Or if you were a blacksmith…But we cannot waste our time and effort to nurse you back to health unless you are an expert artisan in your craft." He paused briefly as though in thought, then added under his breath, "Though, you should be thankful to be alive right now. I'm only sparing you since it is Haou-sama's orders. But once he gets a look at you…"
Johann bit his lip as panic set in. He could not die! Perhaps he deserved it since he had been unable to save every person that he came in contact with. But did that really make him unworthy to live? His heart told him that he was wrong. His human nature told him he needed to survive. Struggling against the bonds, he tried to think of some way he could get out of this. His mind drew a blank. No matter how hard he thought about it, his emotions were getting in the way. Naturally, it did little good that he was trying to force an idea out of his situation. There was nothing he could bribe or threaten the soldier with. There was no way he could escape. He was going to die.
Part of him thought in dim, morbid hope that he would die of weakness and disease before he could be killed in a far harsher manner. However, he was not quite to that point yet. Give or take another day or two and he might. But as things were going for the moment, he was going to meet his demise in a rather unpleasant way. He wished more than ever that he could be with Juudai again. Just thinking about the brunet's smiling face made his heart ache. What he wouldn't give to go back in time and remake all his decisions…Including the one to let Juudai walk away. He should not have given up. He should never have given up in that manner. Since he had stepped back to wait—which, of course, was nothing more than an excuse—Juudai had gotten far from his reach. There was no telling what sort of trouble the boy had gotten into. Johann could only hope and pray that he was all right. And, selfishly enough, that Juudai would save him soon.
How could he expect such a thing, though, when he had not been able to save Juudai? The favor had not been returned. His life had not been redeemed nor the rescue mission paid for. He was expecting far too much of poor Juudai. And to think, after all he had already been through!
Presently, the cart came to an abrupt halt in front of a large gate. Johann peeked over the side of the cart, down to the bridge that separated them from a fiery pit of boiling lava. Duel disks peeked out from the bubbling liquid, causing Johann to shudder. So that was what had happened to the rebel forces…He turned his attention back to the soldier, who was speaking with a guard in some unknown tongue. Johann tensed and sank below eye level as their gazes were directed towards him, indicating that they were deciding his fate. After a moment of gibberish, the soldier came back over to the cart, and re-mounted the bench. They rolled past the gate, into an outer courtyard. However, it was quite different from the courtyards that Johann had imagined when they were described to him. This one was dark and dreary; the atmosphere was thick with tension and death. The air smelled rancid and sour, almost as though there were rotting corpses surrounding them. Who knew? Perhaps there were and Johann could not see it. Or perhaps it was an indication of the evil that resided within those fortified walls, an evil that was unseen but present. It seemed almost even omnipresent and divine, as Johann felt that it was all around him.
The soldier stopped the cart and rounded it to the back. He cut the ropes binding Johann's wrists and ankles then seized him roughly by the scruff of the neck, as though he were a kitten, and flung him to the ground. Kicking him sharply in the ribs, he commanded Johann to get up and walk. Johann gripped his side in pain, and rolled over slightly. Another sharp kick forced him to stand, causing him to shiver in discomfort and weakness as he did so. Then, his captor placed a hand on his shoulder, capturing him in a vise-like grip as he led him towards the central building, entering through large, wooden double doors.
The only thing that kept Johann going was fear, as well as the soldier's constant prodding. They ascended several tiring flights of stones steps before finally reaching a darkened room. At one end was an open door, leading to a balcony. There, a dark figure resided, gazing over the edge of the balcony at the troops below, as though silently reviewing them. His back remained turned and stiffly straightened, his crimson cape fluttering in the slight breeze. The figure was powerful; one could tell just from the way he was standing and the amount of armor he wore, which was nerve-wracking in itself. It seemed to do its job, for the soldier quickly knelt down on the ground, bowing before the other.
"Haou-sama…I have returned with the report."
The figure turned only a quarter of the way, just to acknowledge the other's presence and to show that he was interested in hearing what was to be said. Other than that, he refused to communicate with the other. The silence made him all the more terrifying.
Licking his lips a bit in apprehension, the soldier continued, still lowered on one knee. "Our troops have scoured the villages, as you requested. And we have gathered up all the remaining civilians and livestock. We are also almost done reaping the spoils. It won't be much longer before we can move on to the eastern portion of the kingdom. Everything has been running smoothly, and according to plan. In fact, we have been gaining such power that we are actually ahead of schedule. All your orders have been followed and everything is in place. There is only one question that remains, and that is what is to be done with the survivors. For instance, this boy was found in the remains of a village not too far away. I know that you gave orders to kill anyone that was come across but…this boy somewhat matched the description of the one you told us to keep an eye out for, so I was not sure what to do with him. I'll let you inspect him first, my lord." He bowed his head in respect and backed away, leaving Johann standing awkwardly behind the tyrant.
Haou turned completely around to face the trembling boy. Johann was not sure if he was looking straight at him or not, since his mask was pulled down over his face, but he suspected that he was. Biting his lip, he wrung his hands slightly and fidgeted. He had not the slightest idea of how to behave around royalty. What was expected of him? Finally, he tried to drop to his knees to show respect, but they locked up on him. Haou stepped closer to him, causing him to tremble all the more. He reached out and took Johann's chin between a finger and a thumb, lifting it so he could look him fully in the eyes. If Johann had not known better, he would have squeezed them tightly shut. He was even more shaken when Haou reached up with his other hand, and slowly began to slip the mask upwards, perhaps so he could get a better look.
Golden eyes met teal. Johann suppressed a loud gasp, his eyes widening at the sight. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it once more. One word managed to escape his lips; one word was all it took to reinforce the shock he had received. "Juudai…"
It came out in a hoarse whisper, as Johann was hardly able to breathe. He felt his throat constricting considerably. At first, he thought it was due to his horror. But after a moment, he became aware of the dark energy surrounding Haou and wrapping around his throat, making it difficult to breathe. He would have panicked, had Haou not dropped him right then and there, and turned his back, walking away.
Johann was confused, as was the soldier. The latter stepped forward and bowed again, daring to speak. "I beg your pardon, majesty, but…Is he not the one? Is he not satisfactory? Shall I take him from your sight now?"
A beat. Then, Haou answered in a low, almost inaudible tone. Though, what he lacked in delivery, he more than made up with the bloody cruelty of his words. "Kill him."
There was a stunned silence. It washed over Johann what had just been commanded only as the soldier roughly took him by the shoulders and shoved him towards the door, murmuring a quick affirmation. Obediently, he took Johann down the stairs, though he had to continuously jab him with the butt of a sword, so he might keep walking. Johann could barely make sense of his surroundings at all. He was in a daze.
Although he knew he had to shake himself of it, he was unable to. He was too upset. He hardly noticed where they were going, until they had reached some sort of holding room, for prisoners who awaited slaughter. Johann dug his heels into the stone floor, not willing himself to die. No, he would not go down without a fight! He had done nothing to deserve this…Feeling desperate, he tried to turn around, but the soldier only grabbed him and shoved him against the wall.
"It's not your day, kid."
Johann struggled greatly. He pleaded for his life, wriggled, fought. It was all to no avail. The guard bound him and activated his duel disk, assuring Johann that it would not take more than a moment. Johann stared at him with wide, frightened eyes, as tears began to prick. He whispered small pleas even then, hoping with all his heart that he could turn things around. Just as the soldier was summoning Blood Vorse, he realized…he was not cut out to fend for himself or others. This was meant to be. He was not a hero.
Juudai and his friends had been heroes, even if only for awhile. They were always willing to stand up for themselves and others, even if it meant that it would be difficult, if nearly impossible. They were strong and willing to work for what they believed was right; their values and trust in each other had been strong. It had been their love for each other and for those around them that had made them so strong, as well as their beliefs in their decks and their cards. They had confidence in their abilities to fight, and win. Johann only hoped he could win. He could never live up to their standards. He was not willing to change enough. He only wanted the glory. If it was all of envy and selfishness, it amounted to nothing.
No, Juudai and his friends were not perfect. Even if they had only merely touched each others' lives in passing, even if they had died disgracefully, leaving Juudai alone, they had been stronger than anyone Johann had ever known. Even Juudai, the one who had both saved his life and taken it, had been strong. Despite the horror of the situation beforehand, Johann forgave him. After all, he was human too. He made mistakes. He was fallible. And even if Johann had only gotten to know him for a passing moment in time, for a brief flash of his life, he was still glad that he had met him. Because of Juudai, he had realized where his true faults lay, and realized what he needed to change. But he also realized that one could never be too careful about his own power, since it might also be his downfall. Yes, even then, Juudai was a hero. But, he was a fallen one. It was better to have known glory and defeated demons of the past than to have lived in cowardice and fear. Knowing one's own weakness and facing it, was possibly the greatest strength of character that could be developed.
As Blood Vorse raised his mighty axe over Johann's head, he thought about how sorrowful he was that it had to end this way. The very thought that Juudai would do this to anyone was agonizing. But the thought that Juudai would do it to him, the likeness of his closest friend, was sheer torture. It was basically telling him that Juudai wanted nothing more to do with him; he resembled the one that had caused him so much pain. Even if it had been his choice…Did he really blame his best friend? Or was he the scapegoat? In the end, he supposed the intention did not really matter, since the outcome was the same.
In his final moments, Johann swept all feelings of fear and anguish and anger away, and let himself realize what it meant to love and be loved fully. He murmured an apology to everyone he had ever hurt or betrayed, including Juudai. Soon, he would be joining his mother and sister. Soon, he would be able to apologize in person, to hold them, to tell them he would never leave them again. Perhaps that was what the gods had wanted all along. His second chance had not been wasted after all. He would make a much better person in the afterlife, since he understood the role he was supposed to take on. He could still use Juudai as an example, so long as he was understanding and careful of the dangers. He could only hope that Juudai realized this as well, and found his way out of it. A final prayer reserved for Juudai was given as the sharp blade found its way through him. He did not even feel the pain, nor did he cry out as he, like Juudai's other friends, was turned into particles of light and dissipated.
The true nature of betrayal had been realized. By killing Johann, in essence, Juudai had killed the person closest to him, that had seemingly caused the entire mess. Although, it did not necessarily mean that Juudai hated his best friend or Johann.
A single, shimmering bead was swept away in the wind from Juudai's face. He turned his back on the army chanting victoriously, and trudged off to the depths of the castle. After that day, he grew colder. He most certainly was never the same again.
A/N: Don't kill me plz. D: That was the plan from the start. Sorry. : ( Umm yeah…I know that the starting was a bit choppy as well as the transitioning there…sorry about that too. It was kinda rushed? I dunno. I'm sorry. DX I worked on it for over a month and I still was not entirely happy…I hope that provided enough closure and showed you what I meant…Eh…I'm pleased with the way the plot turned out but…not sure about the presentation. Oh well. I'm not working on it any more or revising it any more. DX