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Chapter 03: Twisted Reality

"When I was trying to regain Shepard's memories," Miranda was saying as she hooked up an IV bag to the hook on the wall. "I was trying to find a way not only to reconstruct them but also preserve those that were still present within her mind." Shepard shifted uncomfortably, as she always did when Miranda spoke of her reconstruction. She didn't like to admit it, but she had not made her peace with it yet. She had stopped feeling like an abomination, but the nagging thought was still there, that she was not who she had been. That she was living on time that wasn't hers. "I was experimenting with different combinations of drugs to enhance her memory recollection."

Abby was lying down on the infirmary bed, her face pale as she looked at the ex-Cerberus officer.

"On who?" she queried flatly, asking the question Shepard had thought of often but never had the guts to ask.

Miranda clearly didn't appreciate the comment as her eyes narrowed slightly. "Volunteers," she said shortly and deftly prepared Abby's arm before slipping in the needle of the IV line. The vet didn't show any reaction but Jack shifted, her silent fury radiating from her corner of the room. She still hated Cerberus, for what they did to her and others like her. Jane didn't think that it would ever leave her.

"Anyway," Miranda was saying. "I was able to isolate a compound secreted within the drell mind that was responsible for their near perfect recollection memories. With some modification, we were able to transform it into a kind of preservative and stimulant to assist with human recollection."

Abby licked her lips and glanced at Shepard before she turned her attention back to Miranda who had pulled a tray of small medication vials closer. "And," she said slowly. "That's what you're going to give me now?"

Miranda nodded and picked up a syringe. "It's completely safe," she pointed out as if it was required.

Clearly nervous now, Abby glanced towards Jack and Kelly who was standing with the biotic.

"Right," Abby murmured. "Now, I ah… What I don't understand is how you're going to get me to access Lenelle's memories. I mean," her cheeks coloured, "what's to stop my memories from leaping to the first time I ever slept with my ex or… or the day I found myself pulling out a calve in a ditch. I mean, you can't just give me something to enhance my memory and expect it to instantly leap to the moment where I'm prepared to divulge all of Lenelle's secrets." There was anger in her voice but also a distinct tone of fear. "And, what if something locks in my mind and I run around thinking I'm Lenelle again?" Her gaze turned to Shepard. "I didn't even know that it was possible."

It was hard looking at Abby. Shepard could sense that there was a part of her that felt violated by both the Ardat Yakshi's memories. In a sense, letting this happen was another invasion but they had to know what they were dealing with.

Kelly stepped closer though the brief flash of guilt that crossed her features didn't do anything to inspire Abby with confidence.

"That's where I come in," the yeoman said. "I… I've done hypnotherapy in the time that I worked as a counsellor. I was very good at it." Her face became more distant like that of a doctor. "I'm going to guide you into those memories and I will guide you out. You'll be safe Abby and in control the whole time."

Abby swallowed and didn't say anything as she glanced towards Jane again who had not said anything. She wondered for a moment whether it was accusation that she saw in the vet's features. The dark haired woman shifted uncomfortable and there was a faint tremor visible on her hand.

"Right," she drawled softly and glanced at Miranda who had filled a syringe. "Let's get this over with."

It had taken a while for Kelly to take Abby down and they eventually had to resort to a light sedative to calm her down to a point where she was receptive for the hypnotism. Now she was lying there peacefully, her chest rising and falling rhythmically. She appeared to be asleep but when Shepard reached out and gently squeezed her hand, the woman returned the gesture in kind.

"Okay," Kelly was saying as she pulled her chair closer to the bed and Jane let go of Abby's hand. The yeoman had been doing this nervously ever since she started and was now practically sitting on top of the bed. She had not approved of their request; saying that she could not anticipate what effect Lenelle's memories would have on her. It was one of those few times that Shepard pulled rank on her, saying that it had to be done.

"I'm going to start," Kelly was saying. "I don't want any of you to speak or interrupt me when we're busy. If you have a question for her, ask it to me softly." She licked her lips and glanced at Miranda who was sitting behind Dr. Chakwas's station, monitoring Abby's vital signs. "Are you ready?"

Miranda nodded, her gaze never leaving the monitor.

"Okay," Kelly said again, rubbing her palms on her knees. "Okay." The tension left her voice and it became calmer, more soothing as she turned her attention to the figure on the bed. "Abigail, are you comfortable?"

"Yes." The vet's voice was flat, without emotion.

"Good," Kelly said softly, pulling a data pad closer to her and making a tick on it. "Do you know where you are right now?"

There was a brief twitch on Abby's face before she answered. "The Normandy," she said and her accent seemed stronger. "The infirmary."

Again, Kelly murmured her approval as she made another tick on the data pad. Jane found herself wondering whether she was scoring Abby's responses. She was quite ignorant when it came to this kind of treatment. "And do you remember how you came here?"

"Jack said that had she hit me," the vet said without any emotion. "I can't recall."

Kelly nodded to herself and made a note on her pad. "Okay," she said. "Do you remember why you were with Jack? When was the first time that you saw her today? Tell me about that moment; see it as if you're seeing yourself. Describe what you see."

Abby didn't reply immediately, her mouth twitching as she seemed to search for words. "I'm standing behind the drinks counter and I've broken a glass," she finally started. "It just dropped out of my hands. I don't know whether it's because my disease is returning or whether I wasn't playing attention..." Clearly the thought provided her with some measure of distress but Kelly quickly soothed her and brought her back to focus.

"It's alright Abigail," she said still using her full name. "I want you to look at Jack, why is she there?"

Again, Abby paused in consideration. "She wants me to come and have a drink with her in Omega," she said. "She says that I've been spending too much time by me self. I'm hesitant to go out but Jack assures me she'll keep me safe." She paused and there was an awkward moment in the infirmary where everybody glanced at Jack. The convict snorted, though her cheeks were burning as she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes shining with defiance.

Kelly smiled at her briefly before she turned her attention back to Abby. "Where did you decide to go?" she queried even though she already knew the answer. "Remember Abigail, you're still looking at yourself. You are just watching, you are not a part of what is happening."

Shepard missed Abby's reply as she saw Miranda motion her over to the desk. She carefully moved away from the bed and joined the officer, taking a chair beside her.

"We're entering the phase that Abby couldn't recall before," the Cerberus officer whispered. "This is the first hurdle that Kelly would encounter. But, it provides a good practice point for her to get the good doctor to recall something difficult."

"… Afterlife," Jane heard Abby breath from the bed, though her tone of voice had changed slightly, as if she had struggled saying the word. "We're in Afterlife."

Kelly sat up a little and glanced at Miranda who nodded at her after briefly glancing at her monitor. "Right," Kelly said – her voice a little bit more assertive. "Before you go in Abby I want you to look around you. Stop just before you go into the bar, stay by the door. You're completely safe, at this point, in this place, nobody will harm you. Do you understand?"

"She's creating a check point," Miranda was whispering. "Here, Abby's still relaxed. Her vitals are stable and calm. If anything happens, Kelly will bring her back here. See? She's associated this spot with a number."

"… five," Kelly was saying. "This is point five Abigail. Whenever I say this number, you'll return here. Safe."

"Right," Abby said softy, her tone calm again as Kelly made a note on her data pad. "Al right."

"Good," Kelly said again. "Now, go into the club, tell me what you and Jack are doing."

Abby's breathing never changed as she continued speaking. "Jack takes me to the bar," she said. "And gives me a drink. I don't drink it immediately but look up at Aria. She's standing there, overlooking the club."

"And what do you feel?"

"Uncomfortable," Abby supplied in a tighter tone. "She notices me and I look away. I didn't like what she said to me."

Jane would've wanted to know what that was, but Kelly wasn't going to ask Abby any personal questions of information that she had not yet divulged to them willingly. She had made that very clear.

"What happens then?" she queried, prompting Abby to go further.

"I take a sip of the drink, but it makes me sneeze. Jack comes over, telling me that I've hardly started. I don't listen to her but look back at Aria. She's still looking at me and…"

There was a beep from the monitor as Abby's heart rate increased suddenly. Miranda made a note on her own chart and glance at Kelly. "Yeoman," she said, warning her.

"… there's a man with her," Abby was continuing. "He looks at me."

"Stop here for a moment Abigail," Kelly said quickly. "Remember that you're safe. That nothing's going to harm you. This is not happening to you, you are watching that man. He doesn't see you. You're watching yourself."

She waited for the vet to settle down before she continued. "Describe him to me."

As Abby described the man that she saw with Aria, Jane motioned to Jack to come closer. The ex-convict did so reluctantly, her gaze shooting from Miranda to Abby's vital signs.

"How close after this did she lapse?" Jane asked in a whisper to which Jack shrugged.

"Close," the convict said grudgingly. "Almost just after she sneezed." Kelly glanced in their direction but said nothing though Miranda did.

"Then that man's the trigger," she said. "Kelly can focus on him."

It seemed to be what the yeoman was doing. "Okay Abigail," she said softly, her voice soothing. "I want you to remember this man. Focus on him. Just on him. Don't think of anything else." Unconsciously, every body behind the desk leaned forward in anticipation. Kelly seemed to take a breath herself, glanced back at Shepard and then turned back to Abby. "Now, tell me where else you have seen him. In all of your memories, where have you seen him?"

There was a lengthy pause, filled only with a steady change in Abby's breathing. At first, Jane didn't think that anything was going to happen, but then Miranda sat up her brow tightening slightly as she looked at her monitors. Jane could see that some of the readings were changing, though she didn't have the knowledge to tell which. Kelly gave Miranda an uncertain look and then turned back to Abby.

"Remember," she whispered, a tense note creeping into her voice despite the calm she tried to hold. "You're entering these memories as yourself Abigail, you're observing them. Not living them. They are not your memories; you merely have access to them." She hesitated. "Abigail?"

The vet gasped suddenly and opened her eyes, gazing at the ceiling unseeing. Her one hand reached out to grasp something, but when she found nothing, it settled down beside her. Kelly watched her, her hands tightening on her data pad as she glanced back to Miranda again. The ship's XO was still looking at her monitors and gave Kelly an impatient thumb's up.

"She's fine," she said shortly. "Her brain waves have changed. Ask her again."

Kelly grimaced and cleared her throat. "Abigail," she said, turning away from them. "Abigail, who knew this man?"

Abby blinked and closed her eyes. "Asura," she said, her voice strained. "She's seen him."

Kelly studied her face for a moment and made as if to stand up before she settled down again. "Are you looking at him right now?" she queried. "Are you seeing him? Describe to me where you are."

Abby swallowed and nodded slowly. "Yes," she said, her heart rate still fast. "Asura is on her way…" She grimaced and Miranda frowned at her monitor. "To see Lenelle. He leaves… He leaves her apartment. Asura thinks that… that Lenelle does not deal with men often. And she's seen him before that's why she notices him."

"Okay," Kelly said slowly. "Now, I want you to move away from Asura and towards Lenelle. She's in the apartment; she's just spoken to the man. Do you know what they discussed?"

Abby paused, her body shivering. "I… I…" She sat up suddenly, hissing as she grabbed her head, almost pulling out the IV line. "I can't…"

Kelly reacted quickly, grabbing her. "Abigail, five," she said quickly. "Five Abby. Five." The vet took a shuddering breath and relaxed down again, appearing as if she was ready to fall asleep right in her grasp. Kelly made her comfortable with a tense expression on her face and glanced back to Miranda to see if all was still well. The woman was frowning at the monitors before she turned to Kelly.

"I don't think you can just take her over from one set of memories to the other," she said. "Not like that. You have to find another route there Kelly." The yeoman looked as if she didn't want to find a route at all but she settled down next to the bed again and took a moment to think as she studied Abby's calm features. Rubbing her brow, she took a steadying breath and tried again. She guided her slowly back to the point where she remembered the man in black, this time reaching it quicker because she now knew what to look for. There, she hesitated - tapping her data pad slowly as she looked at the vet.

"Abigail," she said finally. "I want you to go forward. What happened after you saw the man with Aria? What do you remember?"

The vet hesitated, her face twitching as she swallowed. "I felt something," she whispered. "A pain, in my head."

Kelly spoke quickly. "You can't feel that pain now," she pointed out. "You're only remembering what happened to you. You are watching yourself."

Abby's mouth thinned but then she relaxed. "My head hurt," she said again, softly. "It felt as if I was being pulled apart. I didn't know what to think. What to look at."

"And what happened then?" Kelly continued softly. "Where did your memories go?"

Abby was silent for a few moments. "To Lenelle," she said. "I remembered a meeting that she had with the man. She was to pick him up and take him… Somewhere." She frowned. "He was smiling at her."

"Okay," Kelly said slowly. "Can you see him now?"

"Yes," Abby said. "We're sitting in a booth in lower Afterlife. Lenelle followed him down here. He smiles. A lot. But, there's something sharp in his eyes tonight. Lenelle feels it and she's cautious. But not scared. She's not scared of anything." Kelly glanced at Miranda to make sure that everything was still fine before she continued.

"What are they discussing?" she said. "Tell me Abigail."

Abby hesitated, then slowly started to speak. "Lenelle says that Asura saw the man. She doesn't say his name. She says he's being careless. He laughs, tells her that if she was doing her job right, then seeing him wouldn't have mattered. She tells him that... That it's not his place to question, that he should watch himself." A strange look of delight crossed her features. "He's afraid suddenly and she likes it."

Kelly hesitated, seeing the expression on her face. "Remember you're watching Abigail," she said softly. "Tell me what they are saying. Do you know his name?"

The vet swallowed and shook her head. "Lenelle doesn't think about it, to her – he's just a man. And agent." She shuddered suddenly and opened her eyes again. "The drell was an agent too. Like the man. She thinks that if the man betrays her, or turns on her, she will make sure he ends up with the drell."

Kelly looked ready to bring Abby back to the 'safe' spot again, but Miranda stood up suddenly, her features briefly touched with shock. "Kelly wait," she said just as the woman was about to speak. "Ask her about the drell. Where did she see him?"

Frowning at Miranda, Kelly hesitated then turned her attention to Abby who was still staring at the ceiling with her eyes open, a small smile of delight dancing around her features. "Tell me about the drell Abigail," she said, her tone cautious. "Why is she thinking about the drell?"

The smile on Abby's features turned to a sneer. "She likes going to him," she said. "She was there just the week before. She savoured the walk to the room. Taking her time, knowing what she would find there. It's his fear that she loves. That blunt rawness that comes with it. She loves it. Loves playing with him. He asked her to kill him, begged her without her needing to even use her methods on him." She rolled her fingers into her palm, clenching and unclenching them slowly. Miranda and Shepard were too fixed on her to notice the way the monitors readings were changing.

Kelly too was staring at her, her face taunt as she tried to figure out what Abby was saying. "What did she do?" she queried. "Did she kill him?"

They all jumped when Abby started laughing, her voice's changing to a whisper when she stopped. "You want me to kill you Feron?" she queried, staring up at the ceiling. "Are you going to beg me to take your life? The drell stares at me. His eyes dark. I know you want to, he says simply. I smile at him. I take in his stench. The blood and fear. His eyes are thick, swollen. I wonder if he's thinking of her. I'll know soon." There wasn't another sound in the infirmary other than her voice. "I lean in closer, caressing his dry face. He closes his eyes, waiting. I pull him forward, dropping my lips to his and he sighs in delight. He can see his end coming. I allow my tongue to touch his lips and then." Again, Abby started laughing, the voice cruel. "I push him away, hard, flinging him against the back of his cell. There is more pleasure in his disappointment than his end. Feron, dear Feron."

The name seemed to bring everybody out of their stupor. Miranda sat down hard; her face blanched as Kelly scrambled up and grabbed Abby's wrists as she continued to laugh.

"Five Abby!" she snapped. "Five! Five Abigail. Five."

Abby continued laughing, not paying Kelly any mind. Shepard was the first to move, drawing in a sharp breath as she grabbed Miranda by the shoulder. "Do something," she hissed. "Quickly. Kelly bring her back!" Jack had moved like lightening to the bed's other side to help Kelly hold Abby down as she started struggling against the yeoman's grasp. It gave Kelly a chance to let go of Abby's wrists and grab her head.

"Abigail!" She snapped. "Listen to my voice! Abby, five. Go back to five! Come on Abby!" The vet's eyes were still open as she sneered at the yeoman.

"Are you afraid of me?" she whispered as Miranda joined the bed as well. "Do you feel how alive fear makes you?"

Shepard found herself closing her eyes, but then forced them open, forced herself to see what she had allowed to happen as Miranda joined the two women. She grabbed a vial from the medical tray close by and quickly drew up a substance. She appeared cold as she finished, but she had to make a grab for the IV line twice, missing it in her haste.

Kelly looked horrified as she watched Miranda inject the substance then turned her gaze back to Abby. "Please Abby," she breathed. "Please come back. Five Abby, five… Where are you?"

The vet watched her, her eyes first tinted with murder but then, as the sedative began to take hold she blinked and there were tears that trailed down her cheeks as her gaze soughed out Jack. The biotic looked terrified as she watched her and Jane could tell immediately that she was, as she had been in the club, a breath away from deciding whether or not she was going to kill Abby – her fear for the Ardat Yakshi immeasurable. When Jane stepped closer to the bed to deal with Jack if she needed to, Abby's bewildered gaze found her and locked onto her.

"Mass Effect," she whispered and closed her eyes. "I'm in Mass Effect."

She settled down and closed her eyes, her breathing deepening. It was only when they were sure that she was asleep that Kelly and Jack sat back, their features haggard. Miranda, showing precious little self control leaned back against the bed next to Abby's, her features tight as she rubbed her brow, the syringe shaking in her hands.

Jane didn't know what to say or do as she stared at the scene before her, hearing Abby's words. Do you feel how alive fear makes you?

She certainly felt alive now.

The shocked silence of the infirmary was broken when the door opened and a somewhat tipsy Dr. Chakwas strolled in, humming to herself. It was only when she noticed them that she cut off her tune and stopped, staring in surprise.

"What the hell," she began, "are you all doing in my infirmary?"

The End of Chapter 3.