Another one to start the day off, m'lovelies! All I can really say about this one is that I absolutely love Bones. (And DeForest Kelley, and Karl Urban, but I digress. xD) He's just so damn awesome, you can't help but love him. A big thank you to all the lovely readers who read and favorited this or my other stories, or me as an author. Seeing those emails put a huge smile on my face, so I hope I don't disappoint. :)

A huge thank you to ShamelessSpocker for your reviews so far. I agree, Spock should just attach a GPS system to Kirk or something. Or maybe hire the Star Trek equivalent of Super Nanny. xD I'm so glad you like this so much. :D And I feel your pain, I've got some long stories in the works, but just no time to work on them. One shots are lovely things though. I highly recommend them for getting the creativity going, or just ending boredom. :D

And big thanks to Andalusia25 for your review last chapter. Lol thank you! I hope it made you smile. :) Yeah, Spock had no idea what he got into when he fell for this particular human. xD The poor guy. He's definitely in for an adventure. At this point, I really don't have a set destination for this story; it'll more than likely be a bunch of one shots. :) Though I am working on a Bones/Uhura chapter, and one for Sulu/Chekov, so there will be a couple more chapters, including some surprises. :)

Disclaimer: I'm in no way affiliated with anything to do with Star Trek, except the fandom. As such, I'm making nothing off of this except amusement for myself, and perhaps entertaining some lovely readers. :)

Bones stood on the bridge of the Enterprise, looking at the face of his best friend and his Science officer in exasperation. He rubbed his forehead, then crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, wait, let me see if I've got this right. Your father asked if Jim was your mate."

"Essentially." Bones had never seen a look so near to mortification on the Vulcan's face, but his mind was too blown to take note of it right then.

"And you, being the idiot you are, said you were."

"Pretty much." Jim scratched the back of his neck, but shrugged as he answered.

"So, you went and had these two morons bonded. Does your race not have any self preservation instinct whatsoever?", Bones asked Sarek in bewilderment. No one wanted those two looney toons together more than he did, but from a strictly reproductive stand point, it didn't seem very (he cringed at the thought of the word) logical.

"That is correct." Sarek seemed determined to cling to the 'Impassive logical Vulcan' appearance, but Bones was willing to bet his last bottle of Jim Beam that he was kicking and screaming on the inside.

"Okay. So now, you two can't come back to the Enterprise because there's some kind of honeymoon tradition you need to complete before you can leave New Vulcan?" Only Jim Kirk could go to a planet populated by the most irritatingly logical creatures within the entire Federation to deliver supplies, and call back home to say he'd gotten roped into a shot gun wedding. For half a second, Bones felt an urge to threaten Spock's life if Kirk came back pregnant.

"Precisely. It would violate every marriage tradition in Vulcan society, as well as the 'Non Interference'-", Spock began to explain when Bones waved his hand suddenly.

"Yes, Spock, I know. Whatever you may believe, I know the Starfleet regs as well as you do, so I do know just what will happen if you and Jim skip out on this ceremony thing.", Bones growled in annoyance. Damn hobgoblin. And damn Jim anyway, for getting them in to this mess. "You know the whole of Starfleet is going to have a heart attack when they hear about this, right?

"Wouldn't be the first time.", Jim brushed off.

"Your mother and Sam are going to kill you for getting married without telling 'em. And Uhura almost fell out of her seat when she heard. Sulu had to take her for a walk to get her to cool down while I figure out what to do here.", Bones retaliated, seeing a satisfactory amount of color drain from Jim's face. He didn't know if it was in response to his mother, his brother or his Communications officer, but Jim seemed to know he'd have hell to pay for this. At the mention of Uhura's reaction, Spock seemed to be particularly troubled, and Bones couldn't help but snicker.

"I did try to point this out to him, several times." Jim shot the Vulcan a glare, and refrained from commenting.

"Just sit tight and wait for the explosion. I'll check on you later." Bones hung up without another word, then sighed as he sat in the Captain's chair. Being a senior officer really sucked sometimes.

Until next time, folks. Hope you enjoyed it, and have a great day. :)
Feedback and reviews are always welcome. :) And if you must flame, do yourself a favor and make yourself a smore whilst you're at it. :)
(L) Oracle.