Disclaimer: I don't know who made Inuyasha, but I currently have no plans of holding them at gunpoint and demanding the rights to it.

'Suicide Drink For Sale' the sign read. Well, actually, it read more similarly to: 'Sooisid Drink Fr Sal', but details, details. Touga stared at it for a minute or two, then at the two boys who were giving him terribly sweet smiles.

"Suicide drink, eh?" He said, starring at the pitcher full of a browning liquid with what looked like... tentacles? floating in it.

Seshomaru smiled. "Yup! 200 Yen a cup!"

Touga sputtered. "200 Yen? That's a little expensive for a single cup of, er... suicide drink."

Inuyasha shook his head. "It's not that expensive, King Dad, considering the fact that this stuff really works!"

Touga blinked. "And just what exactly is it supposed to do, anyway?"

"It's called suicide drink for a reason, King Daddykins!"

"...I see. So it's supposed to kill you?"

But Sesshomaru shook his head and told him, "No no no! If we went around selling drinks that killed people, Mother would give us a whooping!"

Inuyasha nodded and finished his brother's point. "Yeah! This drink won't kill you, but it tastes so bad it makes you go and kill yourself right away!"

Touga looked the boys up and down, and the up and down again. The both looked perfectly healthy and alive, so how did they know the drink had the wanted effect? "And exactly who did you test this drink on?"

Sesshomaru giggled like an innocent little girl. "My bestfriend Jaken, of course! It worked out beautifully! One sip and he went to hurl himself off the roof!"

Touga felt sorry for the poor little Kappa, but there were more pressing matters at hand. "And I don't suppose you want me to drink it, do you?"

Instead of getting the reaction he had hoped for, however, Inuyasha poured a cup of the mixture and thrust it at him. "Yup, we sure do!"

Touga took the cup and starred into the 'beverage'. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to contain spoilt milk chunks, expired meat, Ah-Un's droppings, and rotten eggs. And all of it floated around in a peculiar brown-ish liquid.

Touga turned back to facing the boys, and narrowed his eyes. His sons continued to smile at him, and he starred until those smiles faded into nothing less than cold fear. "Not on your lives." He said slowly, dropping the cup on the floor, it's sickening contents splashing all over his boots and pants. The boys took the hint, and hightailed it outta there.

Sesshomaru started to float, and poor Inuyasha was left behind to fend for himself as he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him. The both made it to safety, however, and the raging Inu no Taisho ran into none other than his first wife.

"Dear, what in Kami's name has gotten you so riled up?" Kirimi asked, not used to seeing her former lover so angry.

"Those punk little dipshits aren't inheriting anything! Not my land, not my title, not even a sword!" Touga screeched, mad at the whole world.

"Why made you decide that?"

"They tried to kill me!" He roared.

Kirimi, however, simply rolled her eyes. "I'm sure they did, dear... Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to..."

"They did! I swear they did!" And poor, unbelieved Touga, chased after his wife, cursing her and Izayoi for bringing those boys into the world.

I know Inu no Taisho isn't a King, but this gives my a chance to use the whole 'King Dad' name, which comes from a different series entirely. It's pretty obscure, too. In fact, if anyone can tell me who calls their father 'King Dad', then you get to make me write whatever you want. Though I highly doubt anyone will know...