"Who is this?" Pepper asks flatly after the sixth ring.
"Hey, Pep, it's me," Tony says around a face full of pie, Steve, and ohmygod it's so great to call him by his real name, smiles fondly and wipes the corner of Tony's mouth with his thumb then brings it to his own lips, licking it clean.
Tony's eyes follow the trail of Steve's tongue and is instantaneously hard, and wants to moan obscenely, almost dropping his precious pie.
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME TONY!?" Pepper's voice breaks the spell, and Tony may never ever forgive her for it.
"Pepper I've been kidnapped. The guy's gonna send you drop off instructions for where to put the million in cash. Do everything he says and I'll see you soon," Tony says hurriedly, securing the rest of the pie in a safe spot on the floor before rushing into Steve's lap.
Steve indulges him for a short time, squeezing his ass, rubbing up and down the length of his spine, stroking him through his - Steve's - sweat pants.
But the fun ends too quickly when Steve pulls back slightly. "You have to reassure her you're ok, and to not get the police involved, she's probably worried sick," he whispers.
Just then Pepper's loud yelling cuts into their focus again, "-SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH A BUTTER KNIFE! WHO MAKES A JOKE LIKE THAT!? YOU GO MISSING FOR TWO DAYS THEN CALL FROM A STRANGE NUMBER ASKING FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. IF YOU'RE IN A COLOMBIAN PRISON AGAIN TONY I WILL-"
"Holy crap, Pep calm down," Tony talks over her trying to sound serious but his task is made difficult when he sees Steve cover his mouth, face red from the effort of holding in his laughter.
Pepper releases a long, drawn out sigh and Tony can tell she's massaging her temples like she always does when she's stressed. "Are you really being held against your will for ransom?" she asks monotonously.
Tony thinks that over in his head, technically he is, but he would be with Steve anyway…
Before he can answer Steve starts speaking in a voice that Tony's never heard him use, "What Mr. Stark is saying is true. The drop will be made at exactly eleven forty eight tonight at the north edge of the largest pond in Central Park. There will be no police involvement. You will make the drop personally and we will all walk away with what we want. Am I clear?" Holy crap, Steve sounds so serious, like a Captain in the military giving orders to a soldier.
It makes Tony want to tear his clothes off and fuck him senseless.
He hears Pepper' sharp intake of breath and Tony feels bad, he shouldn't be worrying her like this since he's not in any real danger. He's with Steve.
He'll tell her after they make the exchange…
Part of Tony's mind tells him that there's something wrong with his current logic but all thoughts are pushed aside when Steve slides a hand into his lap.
"I understand. How can I know Tony will be safe?" Her voice sounds sure and business-like, and that is why Tony hired her. Pepper is the perfect business person, efficient, hardworking and enters cold-and-calculating-business-mode faster than anyone Tony has ever seen.
"I'm fine Pep, really, just do what he says ok?" Tony requests, but he's really only focused on Steve's hand rubbing circles over his clothed erection.
"Ok, Tony. Be safe." She sounds wiry and uncertain towards the end but agrees anyway.
Steve ends the call. "You did really well Tony," he coos laying Tony onto his back then sliding up the length of Tony's body to kiss and bite his neck.
"Yeah?" Tony asks, bucking up against Steve solid body suspended an inch above his. "Does that mean I get to touch you?" He asks hopefully, pulling Steve down to meet him.
Steve moves willingly, rubbing their clothed-why are they still clothed?- erections together. "If you want," Steve whispers in his ear, then runs his tongue over the shell.
Of course he wants! Tony moans, bucking up frantically. He's usually able to last much longer, but with Steve he already feels heat pooling in his groin. Tony sticks his hand between them into Steve's pants, there's not much room to maneuver but it is still sooooo good.
Steve is large and thick and Tony can imagine what he'd feel like in his mouth or, better yet, buried deep inside. He moans at the thought, thankful for the friction that the pants provide.
Steve begins to thrust into Tony's fist, adding pressure on Tony's front, and when Steve purrs "Come for me, Tony," he does so with a surprised gasp. He's never been one to follow instruction but for Steve, it feels as if he would be ready for anything.
Steve looks down at him with a sad smile and softly says, "Goodnight, Tony."
Tony is about to say he's not tired, plus he didn't finish his pie, but suddenly feels a prick in his neck and a rush of sleepiness overtakes him.
When Tony wakes up he's in a hospital bed looking up at Pepper's warm, relieved eyes. "I'm glad you're finally up," she says softly.
"I-where," he wants to end that sentence with 'is Steve?' but even his sleep hazed mind knows he can't ask that, so instead he finishes with, "am I?"
Pepper takes his hand. "When I got off the phone with you I called the police. They told me to take the bag as instructed but that they'd follow whoever picked it up and catch the group that took you."
"Did they get hi- them?" he corrects, anxious, not knowing which answer he wants more.
"No," Pepper says, and the relief that floods his system tells him that was definitely the answer he wanted. "I made the drop, and on my way out of the park, I got a call from the same guy telling me that you were asleep at the other end of the park. I told the police and half go rushing over to get you and the other half follows the guy."
Pepper pauses to wipe a tear from her eye, Tony vaguely remembers waking up and seeing people in bulletproof vests, but the memory is fuzzy at best.
"We found you, but the other group that followed the kidnapper trailed him to an abandoned house, completely surround it, and when they bust in they find out the guy was just some kid who got paid a hundred bucks to pick up a bag from the park. The criminals that got you somehow managed to get in and out completely undetected."
Tony listens to the story and is again impressed by Steve, who he's really starting to believe is actually a spy or something equally badass.
"God Tony, we were so worried. I was relieved when they examined you and found out that the worst they did to you was flood your system with some myriad of drugs, it could have-."
"WHAT!?" Tony yells. He was drugged?
"Yeah probably to keep you calm, the doctors said they probably put it in your food to keep you from causing trouble-"
THE FUCKING PIE!
"What? What pie?" Pepper asks, looking worried.
Tony didn't realize he said that out loud but it doesn't matter because he was seeing red. Steve drugged him! That fucking blonde asshole drugged him! He was playing him the entire time! All the kind smiles, the 'I like you Tony, you're nothing like I expected', and the FUCKING PIE! All of it was a lie!
"Whoa!" Pepper says, eyes going wide with worry, "Your heart monitor is going crazy, Tony, you need to calm down."
Tony takes a deep breath, then five more, and his heart rate goes down but he still feels murderous.
FUCKING STEVE! If that is even his real name!
God dammit! How could he have been so stupid? He actually fell for some sociopath who got his jollies by taking advantage of his drugged prisoners. Ok, fine, if he's being honest, he really doesn't regret the sex, and he doesn't actually feel taken advantage of, but what he is pissed about is the fact that he was duped, fooled, tricked, bamboozled!
He's supposed to be a genius! 'Survived Three Months In A Cave With Vicious Terrorists And All I Got Was A Scarred Chest' and all that shit, but noooooo, two fucking days in a nice room with FUCKING STEVE and he's willing to do anything.
Did he mention FUCK STEVE? Tony promises himself that he will do everything in his power to bring this man to his knees!
"TONY!" Pepper yells breaking Tony from his villainous plots for revenge, this one involving alligators, sharks and the possible involvement of some four thousand bloodthirsty piranhas!
"This police officer wants to ask you some questions," she says gesturing to the man in uniform to his right before leaving the room with a hesitant smile.
Yes! Tony thinks, he can tell this guy everything and they'll find this Steve guy in no time.
The officer asks him, "What do you remember Mr. Stark?"
Tony opens his mouth and says, "Nothing." He's completely taken back by his own answer, but the cop just accepts it and continues to ask more questions to which Tony continues to answer that he doesn't remember.
He doesn't mention what party he was at when he was taken, he doesn't say what they did together, and he absolutely doesn't mention the name 'Steve'.
He tells himself that he's doing it because he wants to find this guy himself and not because he promised Steve-No! He chastises himself, that's not his name. Not HB, not BA, and definitely. Not. Steve.
The guy probably just pulled a name out of his ass, but Tony doesn't tell anyone all the same. He also doesn't tell anyone that the clean pair of sweatpants and t-shirt he was wearing when they found him weren't actually his.
They smell like apple, and cinnamon, and Steve.
Three months later and still nothing. Not even a trace of the similar crimes Steve said he committed. And Tony thinks he knows why: Steve has engineered the perfect crime.
A) Kidnap a powerful rich person
B) Ask for a relatively smalls sum of money
C) Get the money, leave the person and run
D) The real genius is in the fact that rich powerful people don't like to admit to weakness. Like Tony, they probably hid their abduction from the media and kept their names out of police reports. Because on paper, three months ago, for two days, Tony Stark was stuck in his lab working hard like the responsible inventor he is.
And that's what Steve does.
He probably played them all, made them like him, then left without a trace.
Fuck Steve!
A week after he forms his theory Pepper forces him to actually go to his office for 'real work,' and Tony drags his tired, lifeless body into his office early Tuesday morning.
He's so tired that he almost misses the medium sized square package sitting on his desk.
To say it's 'odd' would be an epic understatement. Everyone knows that all of his mail goes to Pepper, and she would never leave something in his office. Tony only remembers what color the walls when he walked in a second ago- a subtle yellow/gold with red trim.
He feels like he should call the bomb squad or something, but he figures he used to be the king of bombs, so if it is one, he can defuse it and move on to his sixth cup of coffee within minutes.
With that in mind, he carefully begins to tear off the brown paper and completely freezes, it's not a bomb, but it hits him like one.
In front of him is a painted canvas, and suddenly he remembers Steve's words, "How 'bout I send you a painting when you get out of here, ok?'
Tony's has to take a seat and breathe deeply.
The first thing he thinks is: He remembered! Quickly followed by: Are you a fucking idiot?! He kidnapped you, drugged you, took advantage you, and stole your money! The least he could fucking do is send you a fucking…
Pie?
Tony holds up the painting of a slice of pie on a plate, and it's not just any slice of pie, it's a perfect rendition of his slice of pie. The same half-finished one on the green plate Steve served to him on their last night together.
When he lifts it closer to inspect it, it smells like apples and cinnamon! A piece of paper falls to the floor slowly, ripped from the notepad on his desk.
Written in neat script, he reads, "I promised you pie, and I promised you a painting. Steve."
Tony runs his finger over the words then hates himself for doing it, so crumples it up and throws it on the ground. Then, with a sigh, bends over to retrieve it and smoothen it out.
That's when he notices the back of the note, "Still haven't found me? I thought you were a genius?"
His heart rate speeds up. Steve knows he's looking? Does he want to be found? Is this a challenge to find him or is Steve going to come to him?
Tony starts to right himself, but pauses when he notices his security camera hidden discreetly in the corner of the room.
He places the note on his desk as he scrambles to pull up the security feed to his office. He sits watching, at rapid speed, all of the footage since he got back over three months ago.
He finally gets to a day last week that seems normal, but is actually just a loop of the same empty office the days before- HA! See, genius! Who else would notice that the feed of the same empty unmoving office is too similar for two days? Take that, Steve!
Unfortunately, that gets him nowhere.
That is until he remembers his other security camera, which was another idea he got from a spy movie-he watches a lot of spy movies, it's a thing.
He walks over to the bust of George Washington, and really, the fact that no one (not even Pepper) asked why a year ago, he suddenly wanted a bust of George Washington, shows how strange Tony's whims usually are. He lifts the hollow head to reveal a hidden camera. Tony giddily takes the SD card over to his computer and goes to the file with the day that showed the loop from the other footage, and there!
There he is, Steve, entering Tony's office at one in the morning wearing a tight full body, black jumpsuit holding the package with the painting, his face and chest mostly hidden, but Tony knows it's him.
He walks in, sits in Tony's chair- Tony suddenly feels all tingly where his body touches the same chair- and writes the note. His body remains mostly out of view until he's just about to leave.
He has his gloved hand on the handle but turns at the last minute and looks directly into to camera,-how the fuck did he notice the camera?! Pepper didn't notice the camera- smiles, and leaves.
Just like that.
He rewinds the video and pauses on Steve's face again. With this angle you can see his entire body, his long muscular neck, his broad shoulders, the bird emblem on his suit, the-wait, what?
Tony zooms in on the emblem, takes a screenshot of it, and prints it out, then zooms back out to look at Steve's smile. It was playful, coy and just screams 'catch me if you can.'
And he will.
"I'm going to find you," Tony says to frozen Steve.
He doesn't know how, or what he'll do when he finds him, but he will find him.