A collection of Naruto imagination crack induced fanfictions. Most are short but oh so sweet and lest i forget, funny enough to make you spit whatever your drinking all over the computer. Please enjoy. Note: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters nor do i own any of the characters that are involved in the following omake (kinda like the bonus comics in the back of manga).It's best to say that i own nothing.

THERE IS ENOUGH RANDOMNESS TO KILL BY LAUGH ATTACK SO BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOUR EATING!

Story two, Garra learns something new, Part 2

Garra had just exited the Wal-Mart out of fear of the emos and because of the stares he was getting from many different people. Garra thought there might be something in his hair or teeth, but that couldn't be the reason because Garra ate all possible food that could stick to teeth (which wasn't very many), out of a tube, like yogurt, because it was the cool thing to do. Everyone was eating their yogurt out of a tube.

Garra proceeded to fill out his mission, so he headed back to the Kazekage main building, to his room, to change for the party. Lee's birthday was in three days and three days was exactly how long it takes to get to Konoha, so Garra had to leave now. Garra changed into the only thing he thought was suitable for a party/mission so he donned a set of his best clothes which looked exactly like every other set of clothes he owned, because Garra didn't have a fashion sense. He had lost it alone with his sense of humor and common sense when he was playing with a toaster in the bath house.

Garra informed Temari of his leave and left her as Kazekage for the few days in his absence to Konoha. He sent a messager bird to inform Lee he would be coming, or as Temari put it, RSVP. Garra didn't like to remember point-less things so he called it Ron's Service Via Pineapple.

Garra left five minutes later with his present and card to Lee, wrapped up in a pretty green bag that just seemed to scream youthful-ness.

- 3 days later -

Garra had arrived at the Konoha gates. Having been informed of Garra's visit, the gate guards welcomed him and pointed him the the direction of Lee's house. Garra nodded his thanks and headed off. He passed many people and the few that knew him greeted him with kind hello's. Garra nodded back to each one of them. When Garra finally got to Lee's house there were strange orbs floating on a lamppost just outside the door. Garra had never seen such a thing. There was one in blue, one in red, and one in green. This was the first time Garra had ever seen a balloon. He stared at it like it was sand berry ice cream ( which wasn't very good). Garra poked one of them. The green one. It bobbed back and then forth and then return to it's original floating position.Garra poked it again. It did the same thing as before. Garra decided he loved it. He wondered what was on the inside of it. Garra summoned his sand and it inclosed around the balloon. Some people had stopped and had started to stare. Garra closed his hand into a fist, almost like he was grasping the balloon, and the sand followed suit. The balloon popped. Garra jumped. More then a dozen people were staring at the so-called Kazekage, frightened by the sound of a balloon popping.

Lee, after hearing the balloon pop, ran outside wearing a party hat (it was green). When he saw Garra, he pounced on him.

"GARRA! I'm so glad you came to my youthful 16th brithday party. Please come inside my youthfulness-filled house!" Lee exclaimed while pulling Garra up from his fetal position and into his house.

Once Garra had entered Lee's house, he looked around. It was an average house. Nothing out of the ordinary...except...

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" It was the first thing Garra had said all afternoon. He was looking and pointing at what appeared to be the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen. It was too gruesome to describe.

"Oh that's just the birthday cake Garra. Have you never seen one before?" Lee asked innocently.

"No not that, THAT!" Garra made where he was pointing more clear so Lee understood what he was pointing at. There, on the floor, was a man Garra could have swoan he had seen before, but this man was wasted out of his mind, his face a blurred mess, lying in a pile of what could be predicted as vomit, but it was black, and bubbling, and came with a side of rice.

"Ohhh. Thats just Gai-sensei. I gave him some curry, and he fell over like that. I haven't moved him because he looks like he's sleeping." Lee said ever so sweetly.

"Just what kind of curry did you give him?" Garra asked, not really wanting to know the answer and hoping he didn't have to eventually have to eat the same thing.

"The curry of life, of course!" Lee beamed while he said this. Garra had no idea what he was talking about but hoped he didn't have to eat any of this so-called curry of life. It didn't look very lively.

"Sooo un anyway...Did you get me a present? Did you? DID YOU?" Lee was really excited.

"Unnn, yeah I did." Garra pulled out the present bag and handed it to Lee. Lee grabbed it and ripped open the card. He read it and blushed. Madly. He was turning as red as Garra shirt (which was deep red). He mouth hung open and his body became ridged.

Garra stared at him and remembered something important. He never looked at the card he had bought. Who knows what could have been written on it. Garra shook it off. It couldn't have been that bad...could it? Garra also remembered that birthday parties were suppose to be fun, (as Temari had said) so Garra chose to wake Lee up again.

"Umm Lee. Don't you wanna have some fun?" Garra tried to say it as happily as he could but his thoughts of cheerful came out as sexy aggressive to others. Lee took it as the latter. His blushed deepened (if that was even possible) and he nodded. He took Garra's wrist and pulled on him until he followed him...towards the stairs...up to Lee's bedroom...

Gai-sensei was still lying in the pool of black curry...unconscious.

When Lee had read the card only moments ago, he had dropped it out of shock. It fell open and so did the present bag with Lee's gift also spilling out onto the floor. The bag had held what Garra thought had screamed Lee's name...a green, lacy women's see-through top, with matching fish-net stockings. It even came with a matching ninja head-band. The card, on the other hand had said..."Congrats on you sweet sixteen. As a present, lets go have some fun because you know your too sexy for your shirt."

Moments later, Garra's scream of shock rang throughout the village. He was never going to ask Temari for help again.