Tonight You're On My Mind
A/N: Thank you to Susanna and Lupinxtonks for reviewing. You get an extra quick update!
"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art."
- Miguel de Cervantes
Chapter 2
It was past two in the morning when Tonks let herself into Grimmauld Place. She'd had the worst day she could remember since becoming an Auror. Not being able to face going back to her empty flat, she'd apparated to Grimmauld. Even though she wasn't expecting anyone to be up, just the thought that there were other live bodies in the building was what she needed. Miraculously she made it to the kitchen without tripping on anything. She sat at the table and rested her face in her arms and let out a shuddering breath. Without the motions of filing reports and rectifying the damage that had been done, she couldn't stop the images flashing through her mind. Trying desperately to stop the tears from falling, she didn't hear the kitchen door opening.
"Nymphadora?" She jumped at the gentle touch of a hand on her shoulder and the soft calling of her name.
She lifted her tear streaked face and met a pair of golden eyes that were full of concern. "Oh Remus…" but she couldn't get any more words out, she just shook her head.
He knelt beside her and gathered her into his arms. One hand smoothed up and down her back whilst the other stroked her hair. Tonks grasped onto him as if he was her only lifeline and sobbed into his neck. He let her cry for a few minutes until her tears began to subside. He drew back slightly and tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes with the pad of his thumb.
"What happened?" he asked in a hushed voice.
"We were called out. We thought there'd be a fight. We were expecting Deatheaters, but when we got there…" Tonks breathed in as her voice cracked. "We were too late. There were just bodies. Children, Remus. A Muggle school. And we couldn't do a damn thing." Her voice was bitter and angry now. "It shouldn't be this way. We should be protecting people, not waiting for the death toll to get higher." She closed her eyes and placed her head back on his shoulder.
"We will Dora. We'll fight this war and we'll win." He said almost fiercely.
She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes huge and dark and sorrowful. He'd never seen her look so defeated and it almost broke his heart, that this beautiful, vital young woman was already being changed by events. "Do you really believe that?"
"I have to."
She gazed steadily into his eyes and bit her lip before nodding slowly.
xXx
Tonks was nervous about going downstairs the next morning. She'd crashed in one of the spare rooms at Grimmauld Place rather than go back home. Remus had leant her a pair of pyjamas and had sat with her until she'd fallen asleep. His presence calmed something within her and set her at ease. However, that didn't change the fact that she had cried her eyes out on his shoulder. She didn't want him to think of her as weak, that she couldn't handle what was inevitably coming. Because she could. It was the sense of futility that had got to her more than anything, she hated that she hadn't had a chance to fight for those children.
She needn't have worried. As she fell through the kitchen door he offered her a smile.
"Morning Tonks."
She stifled the strange sense of disappointment that he hadn't called her Nymphadora. "Wotcher Remus."
"Tea?"
"Please." She sat down at the table as he got up to pour her a mug. He placed it on the table in front of her and gently squeezed her shoulder. Tonks looked up at him and saw in his eyes that he understood. She smiled.
They settled into a companionable silence as they pottered around the kitchen getting breakfast and reading the papers. This was broken by Sirius who bounded into the kitchen wishing them a good morning and proclaiming it was a beautiful day. Chipper not being a word she would usually choose to describe Sirius, Tonks was slightly perturbed by this abrupt change in attitude from someone who usually only communicated in grunts before 11 o'clock.
Sensing her confusion, Remus provided an explanation. "Molly and Arthur are arriving today with the children."
"Ah, so the house is going to be full of Weasleys." They would do Sirius good. He needed someone different to talk to other than Remus and herself.
A few hours later Tonks discovered just how infectious the effect of six Weasleys could be.
Molly enveloped her in a hug as soon as she saw her. "Tonks dear, how are you?"
"I'm fine thanks Molly. How are you?"
"Oh I'm FRED STOP THAT THIS INSTANT, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN!"
"She's right you know, you really don't." Sirius added for good measure.
Tonks laughed as Molly stormed off to berate the twins. The presence of the Weasleys seemed to have lifted everyone's spirits.
xXx
Tonks and Remus were in the kitchen making sandwiches whilst Molly, Sirius and the kids tackled some of the house's less welcome inhabitants. The radio was on and they'd found a show that was doing a comprehensive retrospective of the greatest Muggle songs from the last forty years. Tonks was happily singing along and bouncing round the kitchen with her usual exuberance. Remus was overseeing the chopping of cucumber with his usual aura of reserved dignity. He smiled at her when she plonked a plate of buttered bread on the counter, proud that she hadn't dropped it en route, and promptly tripped on her shoelace. He grabbed her waist to stop her from toppling over, and pulled her upright as she held onto his forearms. He didn't let go immediately and Tonks smiled back shyly.
"What?" she asked as he stared at her.
"I was just thinking I don't think I've ever met anyone whose cheerfulness was quite so infectious."
Tonks pulled a face. "Infectious in the diseased sense?"
Remus chuckled and she felt something tingle down her spine. "Hardly. I was thinking if it wasn't for you, Sirius and I would be sat around beginning sentences with 'in our day…' and complaining about the increased price of wands."
She raised an eyebrow sceptically. "I think you're both a way off that stage yet. I can't ever imagine Sirius complaining about the price of wands, he's far more likely to be off chasing young girls on a mobility broom."
Remus threw his head back and laughed. He looked so much younger when he was smiling and laughing and it warmed something inside of Tonks to think that she had been the cause. "I think you're right. Growing old gracefully certainly isn't something high on Sirius' agenda."
Tonks didn't reply straight away. She was regarding him thoughtfully. "Laughing suits you, makes you look younger. You should do it more often."
"As long as you stick around I'm sure I will."
She looked straight into his golden eyes, "I'm not going anywhere."
Neither had noticed that they were still holding on to each other.
xXx
Tonks liked everything about him. She liked the way his golden eyes glowed in the soft light of the kitchen. She liked the hoarseness of his voice and the gentle way he spoke. She liked the smell of books that seemed to pervade his person. She liked the way his hair fell into his eyes. She liked his quiet self-confidence. She liked the way his face changed when he laughed. She liked the way she could tell when he was tired. She liked the way the silver in his hair matched the silver of the scars covering his skin. She liked the feel of his arms around her as he stopped her falling. She liked the way he smiled whenever she came into the room. She liked his devotion to Sirius. She liked the sense of calm he radiated. She liked the way he made a cup of tea. She liked the way he said her name. She liked that he was the last thing she thought of before she went to sleep.
xXx
It was mid July before Remus realised what was happening. And once he realised, he couldn't stop noticing. He noticed everything about her and he hadn't even been conscious of it. He noticed every time she changed the colour of her eyes. He noticed the smell of her shampoo and her perfume. He noticed the scrapes on her knees and elbows. He noticed when her smiles were genuine and when they were tired imitations of the real deal. He noticed the mellifluous sound of her laughter and the warmth in her voice. He noticed how she could never quite sit still and how she was always humming under her breath. He noticed the fierce look of determination she adopted during Order meetings and how she would bite her lip when she was concentrating. He noticed the distinctive sound of her footsteps as she walked down the hall and he noticed the way she smiled when she looked round the door of the drawing room and found him there. He noticed her height and her slim figure. He noticed her delicate hands and the silkiness of her skin whenever she touched him. He noticed the softness of her lips against his cheek when she kissed him goodnight.
Yes, Remus noticed many things about Tonks. Everything, in fact, except one key fact.
xXx
Sirius, of course, had noticed it about a week after they'd met each other. He noticed the furtive looks they each cast at the other. He noticed the chronic blushes that seemed to affect them both. He noticed how they gravitated to each other in a crowded room. He noticed how Tonks spent more and more time at Grimmauld Place and how Remus was at his most charming whenever she was present. He also noticed how neither of them appeared to have noticed the attentions of the other.
Sirius decided his influence was definitely needed if anything was going to happen, because if they continued at the current rate of progression they'd all be geriatric before they even kissed.
xXx
Remus had known Sirius for long enough to know exactly when he was up to no good. He had the distinct feeling of unease that usually accompanied this knowledge as Sirius sprawled over the sofa one quiet lunchtime. Hoping that if he ignored him, he'd go away, Remus continued reading. Of course, Remus had also known Sirius long enough to know that a little thing like being ignored would not put him off.
"So…Tonks." Sirius declared.
That sinking feeling Remus was experiencing suddenly became stronger, but he refused to give Sirius any indication of this and gave a noncommittal "hhmm" sound, still pretending to read his book.
"What do you think of her?"
"She seems like a nice girl."
Sirius scoffed. "Please Moony! You may be able to pull the wool over other people's eyes but I've known you since we were eleven. I can tell from the way you look at her you think of her as anything but 'a nice girl'. I haven't seen you look at anyone like that since you were seventeen."
"You're imagining things Sirius."
"You fancy her don't you?"
Remus felt the muscles in his jaw twitch. He never had been able to hide anything from Sirius. If he could work out that he was a werewolf, he could definitely work out when he fancied someone. However, that didn't mean Remus had to admit it.
"Don't be ridiculous Sirius, I'm far too old for her, she's barley more than a girl. Not to mention the problem of my monthly visitor." Remus struggled not to snap. He was all too aware of how inappropriate his recent thoughts had been.
Sirius heaved a dramatic sigh. " I suppose you're right." He got up and moved to leave the room but stopped in the doorway. "Shame though. 'Cos she fancies you." And with that parting shot he left Remus in staring in stunned disbelief as the door swung closed behind him.
xXx
Tonks was well aware that her new life as an Order member had had a direct effect on her social life, not that she minded, but she felt she should make an effort occasionally. So the next time one of her co-workers mentioned that a bunch of them were heading out that weekend she readily agreed. She hadn't been out in so long that she quite enjoyed the ritual of getting ready. She decided on a skin-tight pair of leather trousers and a black and white striped off-the-shoulder t-shirt, finished off with a pair of black platform heels. Deciding that the clothes spoke for themselves, she kept her hair in black shoulder length waves.
Tonks apparated to Grimmauld, to drop some things off as she and Remus were on duty the following morning. She made it to the kitchen, only tripping on the carpet once, without announcing her presence via Mrs. Black's screams for a change. The noise coming from the room stopped dead as she walked in. Sirius wolf whistled and Remus dropped a teacup. The twins were looking at her with their mouths hanging open. Thankfully no-one else was present.
She looked down at herself self-consciously. "What?" She was showing far less skin than she did in her frayed jeans and cropped t-shits.
"Definitely all grown-up." Sirius murmured and Tonks saw Remus shoot him a look. Sirius cleared his throat, "I presume you haven't dressed up for our benefit love?"
Tonks surveyed them suspiciously, Sirius had clearly got over his initial surprise and the twins were still open-mouthed but Remus was pointedly avoiding looking at her. "I'm going out with friends, but I just wanted to drop some things off first. I thought I'd crash here tonight seeing as we're meeting here before going to collect Harry tomorrow. Is everything still as planned for tomorrow Remus?"
Remus had his back to her and was stirring his tea rather more vigorously than necessary. He made a strangled noise that Tonks took as agreement.
"Right. Well I'm off then." She gave them all a cheerful wave, though Sirius was probably the only one who registered it, and left.
Remus turned around just in time to see Sirius open his mouth.
"Whatever you're going to say, don't." He interjected.
Sirius just smiled his infuriating smile. "Why so tense, Moony? I was just going to say that I hope our little Nymphadora has her wand stowed somewhere handy in case she has the need to turn any intruding fingers into flobberworms. Though it's anyone guess where there'd be room for it in an outfit like that."
Remus let out what sounded suspiciously like a low-pitched growl and his knuckles turned white where he was gripping his mug.
The twins, though, seemed to have regained their equilibrium. "And just think, Charlie was only ever friends with her. Mad!" Fred stated in a disbelieving voice.
"Yeah." George agreed. "Or gay."
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