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Chapter 3

The smile of the youngest boy was a familiar one. '...Alex?' I thought. His face was freckled, his hair was slicked back and his teeth seemed too large for his mouth. He seemed so...innocent. There were no scars to pull at his skin, nor heavy worries to furrow his brow. He was free from it all. He simply...was. I felt saddened for the loss of this child. A girl about the boys age, yet a little older, played with her beautifully, long, blonde hair as Alex's same blue eye's twinkled intelligently. Her tongue was stuck out at whomever had taken the picture and a humorous air surround her, even in the frozen moment.

The young couple that stood about them were just as beautiful. The man was dark and handsome; exhibiting many of Alex's own features. The man seemed slightly more free however. Alex always seemed to have another thought dancing at his lips before he shut it away to be locked somewhere deep and dark. The man had just snuck a kiss onto the woman's cheek and you could see her face light up and blush. There was something comforting about the woman. I somehow felt like if I had sat with her even for one day, everything would become so clear for me.

They were all woven together perfectly. Was this Shepard's...family? I felt sour that he had never mentioned them to me. Perhaps I was an embarrassment to him. A Quarian and a human being together would never be accepted in my Fleet. I could not imagine what a horror is would seem to such a perfect family.
"I was eight in this," whispered a voice behind me. I jumped and spun around, placing the photograph quickly back onto the desk. I hadn't heard the shower turn off. Shepard stood behind me in his Cerberus emblazoned pants, his chest bare save for the . I froze. I had never seen the Commander with his shirt off, and it was an amazing sight. I took a moment to run my fingers over his perfectly sculpted chest. Though Human males anatomy only varied slightly from Quarians, no Quarian was as...appealing as Shepard was to me this moment.
Another throb.

Human males really were beautiful creatures. They were a strange race at times, being almost...primitive when their instincts took over, but their bodies could reach such, stupendous capacities. He had put gauze over more of his wounds but the larger patches that covered the bullets were still bleeding.
"I'm sorry Commander! I should not have been snooping through your things." I felt guilty, but he didn't even seem to hear me. His gaze was fixed on the picture, angrily in thought. One of his large hands took the photo gingerly, walking down the steps to fall onto the couch. I followed him like a shadow. I strained against the urge to reach out and comfort him. I did not want to break him from whatever memory her was reliving.

He was silent as time dragged by. "My parents," he finally began, "met on a colonial cruise ship touring the Mass Relay. In Human history that seems so...typical. My mother, Serenity, was kind and patient but her mind shone the brightest. She was working for Cerberus at the time to help develop stronger human biotics in exchange for protection. They didn't hold their end of the bargain. They never do. I didn't know who she worked for until many years afterwards. People used to tell me I had her eyes and my father's strong features. Bermin was soft and harsh at the same time. He had served under the Alliance for many years in his youth, and his undeniable charisma caused him to rise through the ranks quickly. I can still remember him trying to teach me what it mean to be a man. 'Protect the ones you love, Alexander. but never forget to protect the ones who need you. No matter who they are.' He was a wise man, always full of advice. My sister Selena used to tease him about it constantly. She was my twin...and my best friend. She always excelled from me, though I was never jealous. Miranda reminds me of her...maybe that's one of the reasons I could never be with her. I was proud of my sister for who she was and what she would become in this world. She protected me and I, her. She always seemed so much older then me too..." He paused after this, running his finger thoughtfully across her hair.
"She would sit and play with her hair for hours, smiling at me as I begged for her to come play war with me. Ironic to some extent. She was funny too, always making the other children laugh, no matter what she said. She was the one who shone in our family." He froze, stiffening as his eyes slid shut.

"When the Raider's ships arrived everything just...disappeared. My father hid my mother, my sister and me in the safe room we had recently installed. Someone in Cerberus had let slip where my mother was conducting her experiments and Raiders, who hoped to profit from the information came for her. We could hear the screams of people from through the walls. I heard later on that my father was the first to be taken down. Two Krogans picked him out as the strongest. They say he killed five of the pirates before he fell. Krogans always have to prove themselves. Disgusting. They found us shortly after."

He sighed,"When the door burst open I was the first thing they saw. I was standing in the fighting stance that my father had taught me, 'Protecting the ones I loved'. I must have pissed them off because they shot me first without a warning. I fell to my knees before falling over. I can still hear my mothers screams ringing in my ear even in the heart of battle. She flipped me over and cradled me onto her life, kissing my face and running her hands all over my face. They were so...hot on my skin. I kept getting colder. Falling away slowly. I got my first taste of blood that day, as well as my first scar. The only reason I'm alive today is because the bullet somehow missed every major organ."
His eyes opened, refusing to let a single tear fall. I sat next to him, putting my hand over his heart in and attempt at comfort. He looked out the window swiftly. "My eyes were half open. I was fighting to stand back up and to protect! But the pain was so much. I saw how it all ended for my family. The second in Command took Selena by her hair and held a knife to her throat. She was sobbing, staring at me and holding herself in the same spot where I had been shot. I always wondered if maybe she could feel the same pain as me. They say that twins have a strange bond between them. They told my mother that if she didn't hand over her research on human biotics, that they would kill her." He stopped once more and I took his hands. He looked at me, still distant. What could I say?

"Obviously she gave them what they wanted, desperate to get Selena back. When she handed them they data, most of the Krogan's left. Only the 2nd and 1st in Command stayed behind. I didn't want Selena to be scared so I smiled at her, hoping it would help. She smiled back. Right before the lieutenant slit her throat. Mother screamed again after that. They just laughed at her as they threw Selena's body back at her, still smiling. The Leader who I learned later was the chief of the Bos Knox clan, ordered everyone out. He stared down at the mess that his team had made...and smiled. He took out his pistol and loaded it with a single bullet, throwing it at my mothers feet. He knew that it would not pierce his armor if she fired so he turned and left. Krogans are very cocky creatures. When I joined the Alliance, I allowed him the same privilege after I had killed his whole Klan." Shepards eyes darkened. For the first time, I was afraid of the man I sat next to. "That is, until I decided the slower the better. But...I cannot imagine how my mother must have felt right then. Husband gone, children gone, home gone...hope gone. She thought she was alone in the universe. I know how that can feel. I blacked out just as she picked up the gun..."

I had never expected to hear such tragedies from a single man, nor had I ever imagined he would tell me any of his pain. It was then that I realized how alone he felt in the universe. He still felt the heavy emptiness of the bullet's weight in his chest and in his heart. Had my pulling away from him time and time again hurt him more than knew? For him to open himself up to another was...agonizing for this man and yet he faced that pain...so he could share something with...me. I was undeserving of such devoting loyalty.

"Commander..." I began. His head had fallen back and his body was pale. There was nothing I could say and I knew this. His breathing was staggered and I realized how tired he seemed. I took the picture from his grasp, prying it away form him as carefully as I could and placing it face down next to him. He was asleep. I suppose it did not surprise me that such a tale would wear a man out. For now, I would let him rest. Him sleeping was also good, for it would allow me to work on his wounds in peace.
I peeled back the gauze to take a look underneath. Both wounds were puckered and swollen around the bullets. You could see where it would bruise on his flesh. My heart skipped a beat fearfully.

"Oh Alex...you sad, sad bosh'tet...Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have..." What? There was nothing in my life that could possibly compare to what he had encountered. What comfort could I have leant him without seeming hypocritical? I sighed, feeling worthless.

"At least I can heal you now..."