A Lifetime Too Soon

by inappropriately-ginger

Lily and James Potter died for their son Harry on 31st October 1981 at just 21 years old. This is how the story ends – but how does it begin? A story of friendship, love, acceptance, brilliance and magic: A Lifetime Too Soon.

3. Chapter 3 The First of Many

["You are a fever I am learning to live with, and everything is happening

at the wrong end of a very long tunnel."

― Richard Siken]

—

Third Year - October

Lily felt as though she needed a time turner to get all of her work done. As it was, she was taking more classes than anyone else in their year, and so she barely managed to keep on top of things. Care of Magical Creatures wasn't much hard work really – a lot of illustration work, and notes, but no essays. Ancient Runes was fantastic – she found it so interesting, seeing how the different symbols created the gateway to their communication and magic. She wished she had never decided to take Divination, which was mostly a waste of time. It had been a month, and sadly too late to go to McGonagall and ask if she could switch to a better (more useful) subject, such as the highly acclaimed Arithmancy. Hell, she'd even take Muggle Studies – at least she'd ace that!

The worst thing about Divination was that it was always a double lesson, and at the end of her Friday afternoons there was nothing she'd have liked more than to grab a quick lunch and retire to her lovely four poster bed with a heavy, dusty book in hand. Having never skipped a class in her entire schooling experience, Lily knew that this could not be the case, and by lunch she was already planning her evening and which book she was going to read.

Mary sat with her at lunch, the pair of them the only ones from their group that hadn't skipped muggle studies to go and watch the first years fall off their brooms in flying practise.

"I don't see how Dumbledore can accept the fact that Divination exists as a subject. It's so mind-numbing,"

"I don't mind it…" Mary said dreamily.

"Of course you don't – you're partnered with Emmeline. Do you know how awful Marlene is? She just says she sees attractive men in my future," Lily sighed, wishing that if she was going to be forced to do the stupid subject, her partner could at least take it seriously.

"Maybe she does…" a voice joked in her ear. She jumped frantically and flailed her arms wildly, whacking her attacker in the face.

"Sorry!" she yelped, but turned quickly to see James Potter stood in the middle of the Great Hall, shrieking and gripping his nose. "Oh, it's you, never mind,"

"Manners, Lil," Mary reminded her pointedly.

"Go away," she ordered, earning her a stern look from Mary. "Please," was added for emphasis.

"Evans, I am simply fulfilling your spiritual destiny," James said, sliding into the seat beside her. She wanted to push him off and tell him to find his own seat, but it was a free table and he could technically sit wherever he wanted.

"Potter, Marley foretold that they'd be attractive – not someone who looks like they just fell off their broom backwards," Lily quipped, with a sassy grin.

"You wound me," he told her dramatically. "Anyway, I simply came over here to warn you away from Sirius,"

"Why?" Mary asked.

"He's going crazy – I was looking for Em, she'd probably know how to chill him out," James ruffled his hair, and Lily wanted to hit him again.

"What's got him so rallied?" Mary questioned.

"He's asking someone to Hogsmeade later," Potter explained, causing Mary to jump at the sound of gossip.

"Oh! Who is it?" she screamed in a pitch so high the ghosts gripped their ears.

"That's why I came to warn you away," James said, "Marlene,"

"Marlene?" her face fell into a blank mask, before radiating into a grin. "That's fantastic,"

"It is?" James asked, as confused as Lily was. They both thought she'd been trying to set Marlene up with Dung Fletcher from the year above. Lily didn't think much of Dung – his attempt at growing his hair like the singer from the Four Witches had gone awfully, and he almost looked homeless.

"What about Dung?" Lily asked. "Is his future no longer in trajectory with our Marlene's?"

"Screw Dung, this is Sirius Black, Lily. He's a marauder," Mary said as though the answer was obvious. Of course, the answer was obvious – Sirius Black was unfairly handsome, and talk across the entire rumour mill had been exclusively who he'd be asking to the first Hogsmede visit. Lily felt sure that there were fifth year girls who wouldn't mind if it was them – the fact that it was their Marlene was a big deal; or at least it was a big deal to anyone who gave a damn.

"We are like royalty," James admitted happily, and then yelped once more as Lily gave into the violent urge to elbow him in the ribs.

"Must you encourage him?" she begged of her friend, who had nodded at James' statement.

"Shut up Lily, Sirius Black is going to ask Marley to Hogsmead. Who're you asking James?" Mary turned to the boy like an eagle. Her eyes were bulging from her face as she pondered his answer.

"Lily, go out with me?" he said without turning to look at her.

"No," Lily replied as a reflex. It was their game – he'd ask her out in the most peculiar ways imaginable, and she would reject him, despite how hilarious the proposal had been. Nothing would change that.

"No one," James answered Marlene. He turned to Lily with an accusing eye. "Why not?"

"I'm going with my friends," she exclaimed, ready to pull out her lecture on feminine solidarity, or the fact that some women don't find it necessary and prudent to have a date for every outing they attend.

"Both Mary and Marlene have plans," he pointed out.

"Emmeline," Lily said.

"Who says Remus isn't going to ask her?" James threatened. Lily thought to herself that that'd be brilliant – Em's crush on Remus had been completely insane ever since the middle of the first year. At first she'd thought it had just been a cutesy kids crush, but her feelings for the boy hadn't disappeared with two years of other romantic advances upon her.

"Then I'll go with Severus," Lily ended.

"Oh that'll be fun. You can sit in the Hogshead writing depressing poetry together whilst concocting a potion to off yourselves with," James said viciously, but dodged Lily's fist by diving out of his seat and waving to Mary. "Have fun telling Marlene!" Mary grinned brightly at him and waved goodbye. Once he was out of earshot (over at the Ravenclaw table telling a blushing girl a joke about a hawk, a boggart and a bezoar, whilst she tried not to pass out onto him) Mary began her intervention.

"I don't see why you don't go out with him. He's so good looking, and obviously likes you a lot,"

"He does not like me. He is an arrogant toe rag who would immediately refuse me if I ever did say yes. The only reason he is "interested" is because the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. It's a game. Plus he's not my type anyway," Lily explained indignantly.

"How is he not your type? Heck, I'd vouch that he's Dumbledore's type. That boy is everyone's type," Mary rolled her eyes and stole another look at James who was now skipping from the room, much to the Ravenclaw's amusement.

"The other day he used a full body bind on a first year, dumped him into crate bag and left him there until Filch heard him screaming for help," Lily said venomously.

"I heard about that! It sounded so funny!" Mary laughed, until the glare threw at her stopped her dead. "So he's a little rough around the edges…"

"I don't' want rough – I want clean. Nice, smart, clean…"

"You can't be talking about Severus," Marley joked, to receive a kick from under the table.

"Severus and I are good friends," Lily said leaving the conversation there as she often had to when it came to talk of Severus. Though her dorm mates weren't quite as hateful to him as Potter and his cronies, they still didn't necessarily like Lily's friendship with the Slytherin. "We should get going to Divination. Pes will have us cleaning teacups for a week if we're late again,"

—

The afternoon started out as a catastrophe on three levels: 1. Upon entering the stuffy attic room, Professor Pes muttered darkly about bad things to come. This was nothing new, but it wasn't a very nice omen for a Friday afternoon in which Lily dreamed only of curling up with a good book. 2. Lily immediately knocked over a crystal ball (7 years bad luck – Scarlet Prewett who was besotted with the stupid subject gasped at her clumsiness, figuring that the bad things to come was an omen for Lily herself) 3. They were changing topics, and therefore divination partners – and not a choice move.

Then again, it could've been worse, Lily reminded herself, as she found herself seated next to Oliver McEwan. McEwan was a Ravenclaw, who played as beater on the Quidditch team. She'd never seen him play – of course, but she'd heard that he was very good. He was very handsome, at five foot eleven, dirty blonde curls framing his perfectly sculpted face – or at least that's how Mary described him. As he took his seat he sent a smile to her, which made her blush. Cool it Evans, she thought to herself. Female solidarity, remember?

"Hey Lily," she blushed again.

"Hello Oliver," she said calmly, not planning of letting her racing heart make her look like a giggling first year. "Are you ready to delve into the nonesense that is tealeaves?"

"I love your hair," he said just like that. That's the Scottish for you – obsessed with the ginge. "Did you know, that the muggles always thought red hair and green eyes were the signs of a witch?" he noticed her eyes…

"That's really interesting," Lily managed to say somehow, even if her insides were screaming. Suddenly, something hit her in the head back of the head. She spun around. It was a small ball of parchment. Bending over to pick it up, she uncurled it and read it under the table.

Clean enough for you? – M

Lily turned to see Mary sat miserably with Peter Pettigrew, who was staring bug eyed into his mug. Her eyes were set on Lily's. Lily turned back to Oliver with a sweet smile, but gestured a thumbs up behind her back to Mary, who laughed out loud.

"Your leaves look… well to be honest they look like mud, but if I was gonna guess I'd say that it was rather butterfly-esque mud," Oliver told her, flicking through his book to see if butterfly mud was another bad omen for her. Lily had a slight suspicion that her omens were all looking very good.

"You have a messy circle and an arrow," Lily told the boy, then searched her own book to find what this could possibly hold for his future. They continued like this for most of the lesson, writing their findings in their divination journals, which Professor Pes often came and oohed at mystically. Personally Lily was glad this subject was such a doss, because it meant she needn't actually concentrate on anything other than witty banter, which required a lot of her attention.

"My mum made me take this subject," Oliver informed her, "I have little to no respect for this as a qualification, but she thought I might have the gift – apparently my gran did,"

"Well that's quite cool – seers are very rare," Lily smiled.

"I agree – I don't think there's one in this whole school. I'm certainly not one," he replied, dully though returning her gaze quiet fondly.

"I'm very thankful for that. You've planned my misfortune very severely for the rest of the month," Lily said, noticing a trend in tragedy that was to befall her. "I'd hate for any of this to come true,"

"It is the witching month," Oliver warned with a chuckle. "Halloween and all…"

"Oh yeah," Lily hadn't been thinking about Halloween as much as she had their very first Hogsmeade visit. "I should hope that there aren't any flesh-eating zombies in Hogsmeade, else people will think you really are a seer and you'll be stuck doing divination forever!" Lily joked.

"I really would appreciate it if you could not die," Oliver said. Lily replied that she'd try her best.

"As long as you don't plan on drowning yourself in the Lake?"

"I think I can safely vow not to do that," Oliver promised. "But I'll need compensation…" he told her seriously now. Lily's heart thrummed, did she want her to pay him not to kill himself? That seemed extreme.

"I've already promised not to die…" Lily complained, a fearful lump forming in her throat.

"Well, I was thinking that – in case there are flesh eaters hiding in the Three Broomsticks I can maybe… escort you?" he was red in the face now. "Keep you safe?"

"Oh," Lily said, blushing to the tips of her roots. Was he asking her out? "Yeah, that … that'd be nice," she was smiling when she accepted, which made Oliver McEwan grin broadly.

"That's great! Awesome! So Hogsmeade?" Oliver clarified.

"Yeah, Hogsmeade," Lily smiled again.

—

Back in the Common Room Lily was relaying the details about how Oliver McEwan ("SO HOT" Marlene screamed) had asked her to Hogsmeade. This made dates for both her, Marlene and Mary. Donna had demanded to know who she would be spending the day with, but James had (unfortunately) been lying about Remus' decision to ask Em to accompany him, at least so far.

"Oh great, so you three have dates and I have Donna?" Emmeline moaned – Donna threw one of the cushions at her head. It made contact and she lobbed it back.

"I'm sure I won't be with Oliver the whole time…" Lily said naively. She was trying very hard not to grin as much as she wanted to.

"Yes you will be Evans – and you'll have some very smart and beautiful conversations… with your lips… when you're kissing…" Mary said 'subtly'. Lily was alarmed.

"Kissing?" she cried out.

"Who're you kissing Evans?" James said as he walked into the Common Room next to Remus. The latter kept his eyes averted from the girls, but James was intrigued. He plonked himself in the seat right next to Lily, who was suddenly covering her face with the humilation of telling James Potter about her date.

"Oliver McEwan," Marlene answered for her with a giggle. "He asked her to Hogsmeade,"

"I asked her to Hogsmeade, and if I remember rightly you were going with friends," James cried out indignantly.

"I was just being nice – and in any case, Oliver was actually serious when he asked me, he wasn't being a git," Lily kept the air of coolness, despite the permanent blush on her cheeks. James' jaw dropped.

"Who says I was being a git?" James demanded, anger rising.

"Come off it Potter. I've said yes to Oliver and I'm sure we'll have a lovely time!" Lily said firmly.

"You are such a hypocrite Evans!" he shouted at her, then stormed off up the stairwell, slamming the door to his dorm loudly.

"Sorry about him," Remus said to his feet and shuffled off after James.

—

When Remus slowly let himself through a tiny crack in the door, James was throwing a quaffle at the wall – there was a small dent where he'd practiced this routine before. Lily would upset him, James would storm off, and the wall paid the price. Poor wall. Lupin removed his shoes and lined them neatly at the foot of his bed.

"Do you want me to get Sirius?" he asked after a while. Whereas Remus could calm James down for a good day or so, Sirius could wear his anger out with the mad schemes they planned together. It probably wasn't the healthiest option, but it was the most effective. Remus didn't always have the energy for James' anger.

"No, he'd just tell me to get over her and ask Parkinson out," James mumbled bitterly.

"Well why don't you?" Remus questioned. The other boy scoffed and continued throwing the quaffle against the wall.

"Why don't you ask Emmeline out?" he asked finally. He wore an expression which said: How'd you like them crumpets, Remus?

"It's not the same thing James – I know you're mad but don't be cruel," Remus asserted, lying back on his own bed to keep well out of the way of the quaffle's trajectory.

"Why isn't the same thing? 30.5 days every month you're a fully functioning human being, and you like the girl. What's so hard about that Remus?" James rationalised.

"I can't put that strain on anyone else!" Remus sighed. "You know that,"

"Sirius, Peter and I are fine with it – she likes you! You're upsetting her more by not asking her," James said pointedly, dropping the quaffle and turning to his friend.

"Not in the long run," Remus said miserably. The thought of all the things he could do to hurt Emmeline sickened him.

"Loosen up for a bit Mooney! Just take the girl to Hogsmeade!" James said.. "I'm not asking you to marry her," Remus considered him. It would only be one date – and that would be assuming she'd accept his invitation. Of course, there was a chance that he could shut James' stupidity with Lily up with this leverage.

"On one condition," Remus bartered.

"Hm?" James grunted.

"Ask someone other than Lily. Ask Charlotte," Lupin said. James seemed to consider it– Remus knew he didn't really want to go to Hogsmeade with Charlotte Parkinson, but there were other girls. Remus was about to suggest someone like Isabella Lee, when James nodded. Remus smiled sadly.

"Well, then I suppose I will be right back," Remus said, straightening his robes, checking his pallid reflection in the mirror and leaving through the door. James moved the quaffle into his trunk and dropped his face into his hands, releasing a long breath. With a quick ruffle of his hair, he followed Remus out of the room.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Remus conjoured every bit of Gryffindor courage he could, and returned to the girls around the fire.

"Emmeline, could I speak to you for a moment?" he said, choking on the dryness of his own throat. The girls all went silent and stared in anticipation. Emmeline flushed and stood up.

"Sure, Remus," she said kindly.

Emmeline of course was pretty – she had a perfectly fair face, long brown hair and a humour to go with the looks. Remus stuttered something unintelligable to her, when a voice erupted from behind.

"Oi, Em!" James shouted, and Remus spun to see James leaning coolly against the door. "Go to Hogsmeade with Remus," the girl looked at the other boy, who looked sick. She was smiling, but hardly.

"Remus, I'm sorry, but I already told Donna I'd go with her – maybe next time?" she said kindly and quietly. Remus smiled politely and nodded.

"Of course. Have a lovely time," Remus turned back to return to his dormitory, passing James on the way. "I hate you,"

—

"Emmeline Vance, tell me you did not just reject Remus Lupin!" Mary Macdonald warned angrily. Lily didn't envy her position – Mary had the temperament of a lion. Not that Lily blamed her, really. Emmeline had been blabbering on about Remus for years.

"I didn't – I rejected James Potter asking me out on behalf of Remus Lupin," Emmeline corrected.

"Why did you do that?" Mary squealed.

"Well, my excuse was entirely valid – who would Donna go with? Secondly, I'm taking a leaf out of Lily's book – studies before boys. Feminine Solidarity, eh Lil?" Emmeline recalled proudly.

"Lily has a date!" Mary pointed out.

"With a book worm Ravenclaw," Emmeline said. "They'll probably just study the entire time anyway,"

"A sexy book worm Ravenclaw," Marlene corrected and everyone giggled again.

"Guys, cool it. I didn't want to go just because James made Remus ask me. I'm fine with going with Donna – we're going to go to Madam Pudifoot's!"

"Thrilling stuff," Donna said darkly. Madam Pudifoots was, according to Emmeline, the cutest little teashop, and so Lily could understand why Donna wouldn't want to go there. Donna wasn't really one for cute things.

"Lily…" Marlene said, turning to her friend. "How're you going to tell Severus?" she hadn't thought of that, and suddenly she felt very guilty.

"I'll just tell him the truth – he probably has plans himself anyway," Lily lied.

"Oh yes," Mary laughed, "I bet him and Bellatrix Black are going to get sloshed in the Three Broomsticks, and then make merry in the Shrieking Shack!"

"Don't be cruel," Lily reprimanded. "I meant with his Slytherin friends – we'll go next time together," Lily said calmly. Everyone else scoffed, but said nothing. Now that it had been brought up, Lily was actually dreading telling Severus about her date with Oliver – he'd tell her she was just being a silly little girl.

—

Later that night Lily was lying in bed, trying to read a thick potions book under the light of Lumos when the door opened with a bright light behind it. Despite the late hour, the sixth and final dorm member didn't bother trying to be quite, but instead pulled the door closed loudly, and noisily walked over to her own bed.

"Guess what, Muggle," the cold voice of Charlotte Parkinson dared. Lily assumed (what with the lovely pet name, and the fact that she was the only person obviously awake in the room) that it was her who was to guess whatever it was that made Charlotte Parkinson come to bed so late. Lily said nothing. "James Potter asked me out," she said smugly.

"Oh goodie," Lily said, completely un-phased by this turn of events – after all, she was going to Hogsmeade with Oliver McEwan. Lily wondered why the two hadn't gotten together sooner – they were both utterly annoying and total pests in her life. Hopefully they'd push each other too far into the Shrieking Shack and get torn apart by ghouls. Lily rejoiced at the mental image.

"Aren't you jealous?" Charlotte continued with a goading tone.

"Not even in the slightest," Lily admitted, trying to find her place in the book. She'd lost it whilst imagining the ghoul death.

"I bet you were hoping that he'd ask you, so you won't be so alone," the girl remarked harshly. Lily merely laughed. "Everyone knows how pathetically you pine after him,"

"Funny, had that been the case I'd have accepted his offer this afternoon at lunch," Lily hummed. "And don't worry about me being lonely, Charlotte – I'm going with someone,"

"Your miserable Slytherin friend doesn't count as a date," Charlotte retorted quickly. "And I'm sure James didn't ask you out,"

"Sure are you? Want me to wake up Mary and ask her whether it happened? And, for your information – even though it's none of your business – I am going with Oliver McEwan, not Severus,"

"You're lying – conniving bitch. You just don't want me to be happy," snarled the other girl.

"Oh yes, that must be why I come into the dorm so late at night trying to taunt you with who has asked me to Hogsmeade. Grow up," Charlotte took a sharp intake of breath.

"You'll see – one day you're going to want him to ask you out, but he won't, because he'll be going with me," Charlotte spat.

"I honestly wish you all the happiness in the world, Charlotte," but for some reason this didn't sit too well with Charlotte Parkinson.

"You think he likes you so much, because you think you're better than everyone else. Well, think again – James is a pureblood, and a pureblood wouldn't mess around with a filthy mud blooded muggle like you!"

—

Over in the boys' dorm everyone was laying awake.. After Charlotte had left, strutting her hips up to her own dorm, the three marauders had congratulated James on moving on from Lily, but James couldn't find it inside himself to be too happy.

"C'mon Potter, cheer up – you have a date with one of the hottest girls in the year," Peter pointed out. "I mean… some of us don't even have dates,"

"Do you know that she's mean to Lily?" he asked Sirius, totally blanking Peter.

"Lily's mean to you – why do you care?" Sirius retorted.

Lily isn't mean to me about my blood status, James thought glumly, but said nothing, deciding that it wasn't his battle.

"I can't believe Em rejected Remus!" Peter exclaimed.

"Tell me about it – she's liked him for years!" James sighed.

"That's like Potter rejecting Evans," added Sirius humorously. James wanted to whack him.

"Except Emmeline probably hasn't planned the wedding," Peter chuckled. Another one for the hit list, James thought darkly.

"Guys! I didn't plan the wedding, I was just thinking about how nice she'd look with a sunflower in her hair at our wedding – it's hardly…" James stuttered.

"Picking out the flower pallet?"

"Shut it, Black," James said, finally giving into the urge and chucking a pillow at his friends' head.

Regardless of his friends' obvious relief that James had finally asked someone who had said yes, he couldn't shake the glum attitude.

—

When the leaves started to fall from the trees, the entire third year began getting more excited for the upcoming trip – that was everyone except James Potter and Severus Snape. The two were at each other's throats more than ever, as Lily was scarcely around to break up their fighting. The girl herself was either with Oliver McEwan, studying in the library, or with her dorm mates. It had been a week since Lily had even looked at James, never mind shouted at him when he accosted her in the corridor on the way to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Off to see your boyfriend?" he teased, his voice not completely void of venom.

"Actually, I'm avoiding your girlfriend," Lily said, her eyes avoiding James.

"Oh god, is that what she's telling everyone? I only asked her to Hogsmeade!" James mumbled, suddenly worried.

"Well she seems pretty proud of herself for bagging the perfect pure-blooded prince," Lily sighed, and pushed past James' outstretched arm. James' stomach squirmed.

"Lily!" he called out, at the same time as another voice. The owner of the other voice was stood in front of her in the form of Oliver McEwan. He grabbed Lily's hand and she let him. James withdrew the hand he'd thrown out to grab her wrist.

"Potter," the boy said. James' jaw was taut but he managed to nod at Oliver. "What're you up to?"

"I was just heading to Defence," James said sharply. The grandeur of his normal presence was gone, and had been replaced with a macho filled anger.

"This early?" Oliver questioned, not helping James' temper.

"I was hoping to get some extra reading in," Lily said quickly. "James was simply wondering why I left lunch so early,"

"Lunch has hardly started," the Ravenclaw pointed out, his eyes never wavering from James.

"I'm not hungry," she continued. James stared at her now. She evidently noticed his gaze and turned away blushing.

"Then I'll come with you?" Oliver said sweetly, his hand making its way into hers. She flinched.

"No," Lily and James said in unison. Their eyes met and Lily glared over at him, he merely raised an eyebrow as a challenge to her romantic feelings for Oliver.

"I really want to get this reading done," Lily said sincerely.

"And she has to teach me about werewolves," James lied.

"We haven't even covered that yet," Oliver recalled suspiciously.

"I want to get ahead – I never know the answers to anything in class," James replied, attempting to sound sincere. Lily scoffed.

"I wasn't sure you cared about anything other than making paper planes fly across the classroom into my head?" Oliver asked.

"Sorry – bad aim," James said supressing laughter.

"I'm sure," Oliver replied. "I'll see you in the courtyard tomorrow at 10?" he said, turning to Lily. She forced a smile and looked away from the Gryffindor.

"Yeah, sure – see you there," Lily said, waving Oliver goodbye as he walked into the Great Hall. James kept his gaze on Lily as he heard McEwan's footsteps fade. "Go away," she said as soon as Oliver had turned the corner.

"Is she really telling people she's my girlfriend," he demanded seriously.

"Yes – because you asked her out," Lily sighed, wishing he would understand.

"I ask you out and that doesn't make you my girlfriend, does it?" he asked hopefully.

"No, because unlike me, she said yes," the redhead pointed out, starting to walk up the stairwell. James followed her, happy that she was talking to him for a change - even if the subject left something to be desired.

"You want to say yes," James informed her, which only made her laugh out loud.

"I really don't," assured Lily with a chuckle.

"Why not?" he questioned, running to catch up with her fast walking. Stopping and staring at him her face turned serious again.

"You're a jerk – now go away," she implored.

"No,"

"What do you want, Potter?" she hissed.

"World peace - a million galleons - a hot fudge sundae - one of those human sized plastic hamster balls,"

"A smack in the face?" James laughed out loud at that.

"Why are you really not at lunch?" he questioned – her face turned from an almost-smile to a definite frown.

"I already told you – Charlotte Parkinson," she repeated her earlier excuse.

"She's not my girlfriend," he swore.

"It's not me you have to convince, Potter," Lily informed him in a small voice. James wished that it was her he'd have to convince – he wished she would care.

"Why're you going out with McEwan?" he demanded, changing the tone of the conversation. He was walking beside her now, and (he noted happily) she'd slowed her pace to let him keep up.

"Because he's kind," she said.

"And I'm not kind?"

"You can be, but you can also be so hurtful that it makes me fear for the future of the wizarding race," Lily sighed, gripping her books to her chest.

"What about Severus? Do you think he's kind?" questioned James.

"Yes, I do," she replied pointedly.

"Then why don't you go out with him?" James spat, annoyed that she could be so delusional. James might play jokes on people, but he would never consider himself below Severus Snape.

"Because there's no romantic feeling between us, Potter," she sighed, rolling her eyes and pushing the door to their classroom. She settled into her seat towards the front and James hovered against the desk beside.

"Does he know that?" James reckoned that the answer was much less clear than her reply.

"Of course… now go away I want to get this reading done," and with that she dropped her eyes to the page and it was like he wasn't even there.

"Other people mean literally nothing to you, don't they Evans?" he snapped, finally annoyed at her superiority.

"What is it with you and conflict? Why do you always feel the need to attack me? Can't you just accept the fact that I will not be carrying a membership card for the James Potter Fanclub? That fact isn't going to change, stop trying!" Lily exclaimed angrily, and returned pointedly to her book. Torn between shouting back at her and leaving with some semblance of dignity, James let out an exasperated scream and stormed out of the room.

—

That lesson they were starting their work on werewolves and animagi. Lily sat beside Emmeline at the front of the class, as far away as possible from James Potter who was staring daggers into the back of her head. Their professor for the year (as no one was under any illusions he'd last any longer than that – no one else had) was Professor Darville. Darville was a bi-lingual wizard who had taught at Beauxbattons for twenty years, before moving to England, just before the war broke out. This was the first of many bad decisions that Darville would make in his later life – the second of which was asking the following question:

"Could anyone tell me the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?" four hands shot up – Lily Evans (who knew the answer to every question that had ever been asked in that classroom), Remus Lupin (whose knowledge spectrum was very close to the latters) and more surprisingly James Potter and Sirius Black. "Mr. Black?"

"A werewolf is bitten and cursed with having to turn into a wolf at the full moon monthly – an animagus is a wizard who decides to undergo the transformation, and can do so willingly whenever they please," he recited perfectly. Lily was shocked, but tried not to let her face show it.

"Very well done, Sirius. Now can anyone tell me the signs of recognizing a werewolf?" The same hands shot up again. At the back of the class, Remus saw Lily's hand confidently in the air and wondered if she really did know the answer – if she did it could be disastrous. "Potter?"

"Well, if you were going off for a midnight stroll to the leaky cauldron, and some giant hairy wolf came up to you wearing a top hat you could assume – wow, the owner of this dog really has some problems, or – wow I should run for my life because there is a werewolf in front of me…" the room erupted into laughter, Lily Evans and Remus Lupin were not amongst the chucklers.

"Miss. Evans, a serious answer, please?" the professor implored, turning his attentions to the front of the classroom.

"A day before and after the full moon a werewolf may fall down with sickness, appear pale and worn down. They may even have wounds from their time as a wolf, where they have attacked another animal, or even themselves," Lily said.

"Correct – Now if could all please turn to page 394 and copy down the problems with becoming an animagi," Darville said, sitting himself behind his desk and pulling a quill from a drawer. As the class groaned and followed his instruction, he started to write a letter on a spare piece of parchment.

—

At the back of the classroom James and Sirius disregarded their professor's instructions and placed a muffilo charm around their desk. Remus was getting on with his work, but Sirius seemed to be immersed in the possibilities that lay before James and himself. The werewolf shot a serious look to his friends before returning to his note making.

"Why haven't we thought of this before?" Sirius hissed, twirling his quill around in his fingers – an art practised after many, many torturous History of Magic lessons.

"Do you think Remus understands what we're thinking?" his friend questioned, staring over at the boy.

"He looks a bit awkward doesn't he?" Sirius noted, also taking a look at Remus. Before either of them could look away the werewolf turned to stare at them, staring at him, before going red and shooting them a questioning look.

"Do you think it would be hard?" James asked, flicking through to page 394, to see the so called problems.

"It'd be illegal," Sirius laughed.

"Only if we didn't register," pointed out James, reading from the page.

"Which we wouldn't," the boy retorted.

"Obviously," chuckled James. "It's a hard transfiguration though, very hard,"

"James, you're the best at transfiguration in the year," Sirius informed his friend.

"I didn't mean it'd be a problem for us – what about Peter?" Sirius groaned. He hadn't thought about Peter. The boy wasn't completely useless, but his strengths lay in other places – deception over Filch seemed to be his greatest asset. Transfiguration was a subject he understood about as much as muggle technology.

"We could help him – it can't be too hard," suggested the boy.

"Not as hard as the map," James agreed. "Shall we research it?"

"I can't believe we didn't think of it before!" repeated Sirius as he turned back to his books to pretend to be working.

Their conversation continued, and only took breaks when Darville looked up to check the class was working productively. At the end of the lesson, James and Sirius pulled their other two friends to the side of the corridor and explained their mind set. Peter clapped excitedly, exclaiming that it was a brilliant idea, but Remus gave them a classic Lupin look.

"It's a very hard procedure, not to mention illegal," he said seriously. "If anything went wrong… If you were caught…"

"We wouldn't be caught," James said quickly, though he couldn't know for sure.

"We might as well try it," Sirius said, imploring to their werewolf friend. "It's the best lead we've had for a year, Mooney!"

"Fine, just don't come crying to me when you're locked up in Azkaban," sighed the taller boy, wishing that for once he had a pair of sane friends who didn't insist on chasing after him around the full moon.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Lupin dear," Sirius said, patting his friend on the back. "C'mon – you're looking peaky, Chicken for dinner!"

"How is it that you know the menu every evening, without fail?"

"I befriended the house elves…" was all he gave for explanation.

—

Halloween started off as any other day would, with Lily waking early. However today she wasn't the only one. The dormitory was complete chaos. Charlotte had stolen the bathroom and was treating herself to a luxuriously long shower, and access to the best mirror in the room. This left Emmeline rummaging through her closet pulling out items of clothing at random, holding them against her body to see how it might look at throwing them onto the giant heap that lay on her bed. Marlene was doing a similar routine, but she was already dressed and her crisis was shoes – this was much more dangerous than Em's throwing, as shoes are hard and some of them have a painful heel.

Mary was sat cross legged on her bed with her wand pointed at her hair. When she spotted that Lily was awake she called her over.

"Evans, I need your hair curling expertise," she demanded, as Lily pulled out her own wand and started carefully forming the girls beautiful chocolate-brown hair into loose curls. Lily rarely had the chance to use the charm, as she never needed to do it to her own hair. It took half an hour to do Mary's hair curly, and then Marlene wanted her own to be dead-straight, so Lily spent another ten on the other girl's. By the time all of her friends were ready Lily was still wearing her over-sized pyjamas, with her hair in a messy ponytail.

"Evans, why aren't you ready?" Emmeline said angrily, as Charlotte strutted out of the bathroom. She looked amazing – obviously. She had her hair in a side plait that was thick and reached the bottom of her rib cage. She wore a short red skirt (similar to one Lily wore occasionally), and a black blouse, with high heels. She obviously didn't seem to realise that it was late October and that she was going to freeze – or maybe she did and figured that James Potter would be worth it.

"I have another hour to get ready," Lily complained.

"And eat breakfast and get down to the courtyard! C'mon, mission make Lily look less like Moaning Myrtle!" Marlene announced, pouncing over the bed to where Lily sat.

"Good luck with that," Charlotte said meanly from across the room. It was a fair scoff, Lily thought – the other girl looked wonderful, and she herself looked (rightly so) as though she'd just got out of bed.

"Emmeline you're on the outfit, Mary wake Donna up and then work on Lily's hair, and I'll do make-up," Marlene ordered. The three girls got to work, ignoring Lily's stutters that she was fine. Mary jumped on Donna's bed shaking her awake shouting "EARTHQUAKE", Em went over to Lily's drawers and started throwing things out at random, before closing them all and going to her own pile of clothes, whilst Marlene carefully removed her beauty products from her bag and applied them to her face.

It took twenty minutes in total – her hair was down, keeping its natural waviness, but with some sleek-hair potion to calm the curls. Her face was lined with colours that brought out the green in her eyes and the red blush on her cheek, and she wore Marlene's white shirt under her own green dress, and thick white tights, with Mary's black pumps.

"That'll do," Emmeline said when they finished their work.

"You look lovely, Lil," Donna said as she pulled on her own red sweater and a pair of jeans.

"By the sound of the lot of you, you'd think I don't look nice every day!" Lily joked.

—

The girls all went down to the Great Hall, where hoards of the school were dressed up for the day's activities. Lily saw Oliver McEwan over at the Ravenclaw table, wearing a brown blazer. She felt the blood run to her head.

At 10:50 the group all took their last swig of pumpkin juice, grabbed their bags and headed to the courtyard, where Filch and McGonagall had a long list of student's names, that were ticked off as each one left the school grounds. Mary spotted her own date, Ulysses Blaise (the newly accepted Hufflepuff seeker, who was amongst the top 10 best looking guys in the year list that Mary kept), waved goodbye to her friends and went to go meet him. His eyes looked foggy when they saw her, because she was a sight for sore eyes, with her hair and her big sincere eyes. Sirius Black accompanied a glum looking James Potter to the courtyard, and upon arriving both boys nudged each other with a grin towards the other's date. James saw Charlotte and looked confused - she looked freezing. He muttered something to Sirius, who barked with laughter and bounded towards Marlene. She smiled at him. Lily pretended not to notice them.

"Alright Marley?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah thanks, you?" Marlene replied. He put his arm around her shoulders, winked at Lily and led his date off into the ether of students queuing to get out of the courtyard. Lily was amused to see James Potter standing a metre away from Charlotte Parkinson, who appeared to be edging towards him unsuccessfully.

Emmeline and Donna promised to stay with Lily until Oliver arrived, even though he was running. Lily tried to act cool, but she had butterflies in her stomach. She and Oliver had been spending a lot of time together recently, and she enjoyed his company. She was excited, even if just to see Hogsmede. The only wizarding town she'd been to was Diagon Alley, and she was keen to see what it would be like.

Lily saw Severus walk past and tried to shoot him a smile, but he either didn't spot her or was intently ignoring her gaze. He was with two other Slytherins, who Lily knew to be Emmanuel Avery, and Bertram Mulciber – they certainly spotted Lily, and returned the smile she had meant for Severus with a grimace. Lily was aware that the pair was the type to join the other side. She detested the fact that Severus hung around with them.

Feeling a nudge from Emmeline, Lily jumped and her eyes tore around the courtyard, only to fall on the stairs. She was about to nudge Em right back, when she noticed Oliver stood in front of her – his brown blazer (with elbow pads) and paisley shirt made him stand out quite a lot. He still looked rather handsome. Lily smiled and greeted him as he took her hand and bid farewell to Donna and Emmeline. The awkwardness following their encounter with James Potter yesterday lay either forgotten or unspoken.

"Lily, you look really lovely," he said with a smile.

"Hi Oliver, thanks," she grinned. "Shall we grab a coach?"

They ended up sharing a carriage with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew down to the village, though initially no one spoke. Lily smiled politely at the other two whilst making near silent small talk with Oliver but it died almost immediately. Outside it was darkening, and the clouds above threatened to rain and Lily found herself wishing she'd remembered her umbrella.

"So where do you want to go first?" Oliver asked, making Peter jump at the sudden disruption to their silence.

"Oh," Lily said, "I've heard Zonkos is good?"

"Oh it is," Oliver agreed, "but it's on the other side of town – we should go to Honeydukes first," he told her.

"Alright then," she agreed dully. "Have you been here a lot?"

"I live here – my family live on the west of the village," Oliver informed her. She feigned interest.

"Well then, I don't suppose today will be very interesting for you," Lily laughed.

"On the contrary – I've never had such grand company," Remus mimed vomiting to Peter who laughed. Having seen it in the corner of her eye, Lily attempted to supress a smile of her own. She hoped Oliver would think that smile was meant for him.

—

Down in Hogsmeade James' date was as similarly successful. Charlotte kept trying to hold his hand, and wouldn't get the hint when he jumped away. She looked nice, sure, but there was just something missing.

"So do you want to go to Zonkos?" Charlotte flirted sweetly.

"Not really," James huffed, bored. They were sat on a wall, next to where people were disembarking carriages. Every time one stopped, James would look up, be disappointed and continue to stare at his feet.

"Why not? I thought you'd love Zonkos," the girl continued, her voice in a higher tone than he had ever known it. It was weird.

"I do love Zonkos, but I don't want to go there without Remus and Peter," explained the boy. Her face fell.

"But we're on a date!" Charlotte screamed moodily.

"I asked you to go to Hogsmeade with me – we're in Hogsmeade now. That good?" James couldn't even stand to sound interested in telling her to go away.

"I thought…" she stuttered, her bottom lip shaking.

"You thought wrong. Look, Charlotte, you look nice and everything, but you're not exactly my type, and I only asked you out because Remus told me to stop asking out Lily, and if I did he would ask out Emmeline, but she ended up saying no anyway, so there's no point being here," James explained. Charlotte looked like she'd been slapped in the face.

"Lily Evans?" she exclaimed angrily. "She doesn't even like you,"

"Sure she does," James smirked.

"Don't be so oblivious James," she spat.

"Oh! So that's the word! I always considered myself more of an absent minded badass," James chuckled, stealing a look at another carriage that had pulled up. No luck – just Alice Griffiths, her small and slightly pretty friend Mona, and a pair of nervous looking blokes.

"James, you're never going to get Lily Evans, no matter how hard you try," she said cruelly. James merely continued to smile.

"That's fine – Sirius and I have planned our bachelorhood – we're going to adopt a child together to attract the witches. He'll be called Vincent," James laughed, by unfortunately Charlotte didn't find the humour in the situation. She slapped him sharply across the cheek in the second that Remus' carriage pulled up. As she stormed off, strutting her hips, Lily Evans, Oliver McEwan, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew stood laughing at the events they had just seen unfold.

"I guess you told her she wasn't your girlfriend, then?" Lily laughed. James' eyes went immediately to her.

"I might've also told her that Sirius and I are going to attract women by adopting a small boy named Vincent…" James mused, rubbing the side of his face. Lily laughed out loud.

"You're so good with women, Potter," Remus said with a hearty chuckle.

"At least I can get them to agree to go out with me," James replied sourly.

"I beg to disagree," said Lily. Oliver laughed now, and with a firm grip on her arm, led the redhead away from the three boys – two of whom were laughing so hard they were gripping their stomachs. James stared daggers after them.

—

Oliver walked Lily to Honkeydukes, where she purchased some fudge and another assortment of magical sweeties, and he refilled his collection of Every Flavoured Beans. Then he marched her to the post office for a five minute look at the owls; then he took her to Gladrags, where she purchased a pair of gloves that would heat your hands if you say "Thermo". He then insisted that they spend three quarters of an hour in Spintwitches, a sporting shop, where he deliberated if he should get some new gloves for Quidditch. He didn't, and she was finally allowed to leave. By this point Lily was getting hungry and suggested that they go to the Three Broomsticks for lunch. Oliver nodded and asked if they could go into one more shop beforehand. She unwillingly agreed, following him into the music shop, where they bumped into James Potter who was leaving, holding a bag. She shot him a confused look, but didn't say anything (despite the fact that she was severely bored with this "date" and could have done with some mildly interesting conversation). Oliver spent another half hour in Domonic Maestro's, to the extent where Lily's stomach was growling and he hadn't acknowledged her presence since they entered the shop. He'd been discussing the Four Witches with the clerk – apparently they'd lost a band member and were going to change the name to the Three Witches. Finally he purchased a vinyl and they left the shop with a ringing of the bell.

"So, are you getting hungry?" he asked, even though she'd told him that she was half an hour ago and her stomach was growling.

"I could eat," Lily replied politely, wishing nothing more than the end of this "date".

"Three broomsticks it is then," Oliver said, and forcefully took her hand.

The inside of the pub was packed – there were no tables free of Hogwarts students. Luckily, Lily spotted Emmeline and Donna sitting with the Marauders, so she pushed through the crowd, hoping the Oliver wouldn't follow her. Much to her dismay he did, taking a seat from a nearby table to perch next to the booth Lily had slid into. Emmeline raised an eyebrow at Lily who rolled her eyes as to say "I'll tell you later".

"Butterbeer?" Oliver asked; Lily nodded. "I'll go up, there's no point in us both drowning in the crowd princess," Lily smiled, but felt that the faux-retching coming from the Marauders was a more appropriate response.

"Having fun?" Donna said, laughing. "You look bored out of your mind,"

"This is the less fun than the day Petunia introduced me to her boyfriend Gary in the summer," Lily complained quietly. She removed her new gloves and pushed her hair out of her face. "Save me?"

"Merlin, no!" Emmeline exclaimed. "We agreed that by 7th year we'd have conquered the top ten list! You're half way to the finish line, might as well finish the race"

"The top ten list?" James questioned, leaning in to be heard from across the table.

"I never agreed to this," Lily sighed.

"Top ten attractive guys in our year – between us we have to have kissed all of them," Emmeline chuckled.

"Am I on the top ten list?" James asked with a wink.

"No," Lily said too quickly. As the rest of the girls said a resounding "yes". In truth, James was on the list, but she had objected until Mary pointed out that it's about looks, not apparently jerkish personalities. In all honesty the list went as followed:

Emmeline Vance, Mary MacDonald, Marlene Tolkien, Lily Evans and Donna Shacklebolt hereby proclaim the following males to be the 10 most suitable baby making buddies in order. The previously stated initiators gain complete right to change the list by removing or adding attractive males:

10. Remus Lupin – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Emmeline 9. Jebediah Fulton – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Donna 8. Oliver McEwan – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Lily 7. Lestat Rosier – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Open 6. Robert Zion – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Emmeline 5. Otto Bagman – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Marlene 4. Ulysses Blaise – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Mary 3. Sirius Black – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Marlene 2. Adam McKinnon – Status: Unconquered – Mission Open 1. James Potter – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Open

However, apparently Lily's objections to Potter knowing about his status on the list were not heard, as Emmeline began to relay the list to him. Lily looked over, and luckily Oliver wasn't even being served yet, so she had time to shut them all up.

"Fulton? You think Fulton is better than Remus?" Sirius objected loudly. "Fulton's nose is off centre!" Em continued, ignoring his shouts.

"You can't have Rosier on the list," James said, his eyes dark and serious. "Take him off. None of you are to go on a date with Lestat Rosier – he's a horrible and dangerous person,"

"James…" Mary started, but James was having none of it.

"No, don't go near him – he's worse than Evan," everyone knew that Evan Rosier had been a 6th year when they'd started Hogwarts, but had been thrown out for using dark magic on another student. Lily made a mental note to have a revote later on.

"Otto Bagman? Really Marlene! When did this happen?" Sirius said with humour to his date.

"Last summer," Emmeline admitted on Marlene's behalf.

"I feel so cheated…" James joked.

Emmeline got to number three when Remus stood up enraged. "Third?! Who the bloody hell is first and second if Sirius is third?!"

"You really don't want to know Remus…" Lily started, but Emmeline found a perverse humour in the situation.

"Who do you think, Remus?" Emmeline dared.

"Well, Potter, obviously – look at that face – it's pure sunshine," Remus said with a growl. "And… well knowing you lot, probably Severus Snape!" he spat. The girls all burst into laughter, which caused heads to turn. Even James thought it was funny. Peter looked a bit hurt that he obviously wasn't on the list, but chuckled none the less. Remus blushed and turned to stare out of the window – his previous reverie returned.

It was at this point that Oliver came over carrying two pints of warm butterbeer. Lily wanted to headbutt the desk but refrained from doing such a thing, as Oliver tried to understand what the conversation was about.

"Well, who? It can't actually be Severus!" James quizzed.

"What can't be Snape?" Oliver asked, trying to nudge himself into the chatting.

"Evans and Vance are telling us how they rate the boys in our year at Hogwarts,"

"Oh?" Oliver said, a blush reaching his cheeks, "And where am I?" he 'joked'.

"8th," James said harshly. "We're trying to decipher who the ladies deem more attractive than Sirius Black, who sits at 3rd,"

"Well, who've you said already?" Oliver said, looking a bit sad, but nevertheless interesting in guessing along.

"Lupin, Fulton, McEwan, Rosier-"

"Not Rosier," James growled, genuinely angry.

"Zion, Bagman, Blaise and Black," Emmeline finished.

"Well, that's obvious," Oliver smiled cheerfully.

"Really?" Remus and James questioned in unison.

"Potter and Adam McKinnon," he said pointedly.

"In that order?" James asked raising an eyebrow at the Ravenclaw.

"Obviously," Oliver said with his eyes fixed meanly on James.

"Wrong!" Donna declared. "McKinnon 2nd – Unconquered, totally open – Potter 1st – Also unconquered and open to whoever wants him!"

"Nobody took me on as their mission?" James demanded with his face dauntingly hurt.

"Oh, we had too many takers," Emmeline laughed, "We couldn't decide, so we figured whoever got there first,"

"Well, can I pick?" James grinned, seeing an opportunity.

"Not really," Emmeline said regretfully.

"Sure I can – see, if I refuse to allow the rest of you to kiss me, your need to complete the list will force the rest of you to pressure Miss Evans into bestowing a smooch upon me," Lily burst into a deep shade of red – Oliver glared at James and his grip on his glass tightened – Donna and Emmeline considered him.

"He's damn good," Emmeline laughed.

"Wait, you have to kiss the entire list?" Oliver quizzed.

"Between us, yes – Lily's been sent to conquer you," Em joked – Lily felt herself going even more red. She had not agreed to this.

"Oh, well that's okay then – who else are you to conquer?" he asked of Lily, looking down into her eyes.

"Me," James piped up. Oliver seemed to be getting crosser and crosser with the flow of the conversation, and James was evidently aware of this.

"No!" Lily objected but Donna interrupted.

"Sorry Evans, the boy has spoken – it's going on the list," she said with a grin.

"I hate you all," Lily moaned glumly.

It took another half an hour to order food, (chips) so by the time they'd eaten it was almost time to head back to the castle. The group decided (much to Lily's joy) to take a trip up to the Shrieking Shack and Zonkos on the way back. Lily told Oliver that they should definitely join them, as they were going to do the same thing anyway. He agreed, though barely. Since the conversation about the list his mood had not improved.

The trek up to the viewing point for the Shrieking Shack was awful. Oliver kept trying to hold her hand, whilst Potter kept trying to do the same thing on the other side "as a joke, McEwan!" Remus led the way, whilst being kept company by Emmeline – they were getting along beautifully, Lily noted, despite the fact she'd rejected him the other day. Donna and Peter were discussing Herbology and the former seemed bored out of her mind. If it wasn't for the ego-show going on beside her Lily would've run over to save her friend. As it was, however, James and Oliver were discussing the House Quidditch teams, and the upcoming Ravenclaw VS Gryffindor match. Lily had a hunch where Oliver would be aiming his bludgers.

"We're going to win," James said simply. "It's simple logic. We have the better all-round team. Yeah, your offence is good, but your defence is awful. That match against Hufflepuff last month was horrifying. You only won because Blaise caught the snitch in good timing!"

"We'll see, Potter," Oliver said with a threatening edge.

When they reached the top of the hill, Remus called James over to have a private chat with him and Peter. Marlene and Sirius were at the viewing point already, and greeted everyone with a smile before becoming too wrapped up in one another (literally, Lily noted that there was another name off the list) to notice what was going on, and Emmeline thought it a good idea for her and Donna to go closer to the shack, obviously hoping to give Lily and Oliver some alone time. They stood in silence for a minute, and then Oliver spoke.

"So I had a dream a couple of nights ago," Oliver said coolly.

"Oh yeah? What did it foretell?" Lily joked. "Anything divination worthy?"

"Well, I looked it up and it said that a pretty girl would take a walk with me," Lily faked a blush, not totally sure where he was going with this. "And that on that walk, the pretty girl would kiss me," he shot her a winning smile, that Lily knew Mary would melt at. On any other occassion she might've, but joined them, but the whole ego show with Potter hadn't helped. Lily was trying to think of a comeback when he bent down and jabbed his tongue into her mouth. Lily jumped back from the kiss, flailing and trying not to choke on the sudden appendage in her mouth. He smiled, and went for it again, this time he didn't jump in tongue first. Lily tried to wiggle away, put his strong arm held her close to him – she felt suffocated.

Then things happened rather quickly. She heard the sound of a muttered hex behind her, and suddenly Oliver was stumbling away from her. Lily spun on her heel to see James weilding his wand and pointing it directly at the other boy.

"What was that for?" Oliver yelled over at James. The boy came walking over to him, and despite the fact that he'd grown taller than Lily over the past year he was still somewhat smaller than the Ravenclaw. This didn't seem to bother him though, as he sized up against the boy.

"Can't you see she doesn't want to kiss you?" he shouted to Oliver. It was mortifying. "She was wiggling to get away from you – that's not exactly a Cokeworth-mating ritual, McEwan,"

Oliver looked at her, then at Potter. Lily was blushing furiously, unsure where to look. Maybe it was the fact that everyone was staring at them, or the fact that Lily wasn't and she hadn't said a word against what Potter had been saying (for it had been the truth), but he stormed off down the path to the village, kicking a tree as he went.

"You okay Evans?" Potter asked. "Want a mint?" he asked again, offering her a small box. She took one gratefully.

"Yeah – thanks," she said, smiling.

"Please tell me that wasn't your first kiss Evans?" he demanded to know. She dropped her head sullenly – his outrage was fair. That had not been how she suspected her first kiss would be. "Oh Merlin! He was like the Giant Squid with that display. Trust me, some of us aren't so forward and disgusting," James promised her.

"I don't think I even want to find out," Lily admitted, going a bit red.

"The boy has put her off for life!" James shouted, shaking his fist at the sky dramatically. Emmeline and Donna were laughing.

"I think we should take him off the list," Lily agreed. "Conquered or not,"

"That wasn't a kiss – that was a disaster," Donna nodded.

"Good looks or no good looks, that was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen – and I just saw Black leading Marlene into that patch of trees over there…" they all tried not to dwell on the thought by retiring to Zonko's. James seemed to be in heaven and Lily could see why – there was an impressive collection of mischief making items. She was surprised the store owner didn't know the marauder by first name. Well that was until…

"James!" the man behind the counter called. James skipped forwards with a grin.

"Zonko!" James said. He turned around and saw Lily laughing, and gestured her forwards. "This is Lily Evans – she's much too sensible to buy anything from here,"

"Well that's disappointing," Mr Zonko said to the girl. "What're you doing with a sensible girl, James? You'll corrupt the poor thing!"

"That was the plan – yes. I was hoping you'd help actually," he laughed.

"What can I do you for?" Zonko asked the boy.

"Do you remember those things Sirius and I came in for last year?" James asked conspicuously. Lily didn't know how James and Sirius could have come down to Hogsmeade last year as they had only been second years. Perhaps they came in the holidays? She wondered, realising that she was being completely naive. If James and Sirius wanted to go somewhere, Lily doubted a silly thing like rules would stop them.

"You're in luck Mr Potter - I only have one box left!" Zonko said, running out to his back room, and returning holding a small box labelled: Smoke Bomb. "Drop this, and in a second the entire room (up to a quarter of a mile's coverage) will instantly fill with smoke, allowing you to make a quick exit without awkward conversations," he handed her the box. "Here you go,"

"Oh no…" Lily stuttered, not wanting to take the last box.

"Lily, take them," James said darkly. "They'll be useful,"

"Really?" she questioned, turning to him and wondering what he had planned.

"You've never wanted to disappear from a room without people knowing where you've gone?" James asked. She took the box.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked the man, pulling her purse from her pocket.

"Nothing, nothing – I only charge the already corrupt – come back in a week, buy something else and we'll trade then," Zonko said with a large grin on his face.

She said her thank-you's. James, Remus, Peter and Emmeline purchased an inordinate amount of things from the man (apparently no matter how innocent James looks he's still corrupt and had to pay), and they made their way back to the carriages. They'd make it just in time for dinner, James said.

"Talking about food, where's Sirius?" Peter asked. Everyone laughed out loud.

"Probably in a hedge with Marlene," Emmeline replied. They hailed two empty carriages (which was a feat in itself) and everyone piled into them both. Donna, Peter, Remus and Emmeline got into the first carriage before there was no room left. Lily sighed – of course. James opened the carriage door and allowed Lily to get in first, and he scooted in opposite her. Because the majority of students had already returned to the castle, there was no one else to sit with them, so they were alone. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You know what, Evans?" James asked.

"What?" she questioned, not sure what he was going to say.

"I'm glad that our dates went awfully," James said, with a giant grin. Lily returned the smile.

"Well, I think mine could've gone worse," Lily said. James raised an eyebrow in questioning, "I could've gone with you," he kicked her lightly in the foot.

"You say that… and here we are," he pointed out. "Alone - In a carriage together – after spending the afternoon together in Hogsmeade – I think you even held my hand at one point,"

"No- you held my hand, as a joke, remember?" Lily growled, though not really angry.

"I remember," he said with an edge of intensity that Lily blushed at.

"I wonder what Charlotte did with her day," Lily changed the subject.

"Probably plotted your death," James said jokingly.

"What? Why would she do that?" Lily demanded. Now it was James' turn to blush.

"I might… I don't really remember the details… have told her that she wasn't my type, because she wasn't you…" James looked scared. Lily's stomach lurched out of fear, rather than hunger. "Sorry,"

"You realise she's going to stab me in my sleep, right? Why on earth would you tell Charlotte Parkinson that?" Lily groaned.

"Because it's true?" Lily's heart actually stopped. She'd always believed that the heart stopped description was completely false – why would your physical body change because someone says something particularly nice? It didn't make any sense to her – but as she sat there she thought she understood it a little bit more.

"She's going to physically maim me. I've never been attacked before," Lily said, her heart rate increasing to a dangerously high number now, rather than stopping. "I'm going to die,"

"Are you having a panic attack?" he asked her with incredulousness and worry.

"Maybe a little bit of one – you know, because I'm going to die tonight!" she screamed at him.

"Lily, even if she does attack you, you are a highly superior witch," he pointed out.

"Highly superior magic can't ward off katana's!" Lily screeched, pulling at her hair.

"I doubt that Lottie keeps a sword under her bed," James chuckled with a soft smile.

"It wouldn't surprise me! You should see the torture weapons she uses on herself in the name of beauty! Imagine what horror she'll inflict on me!" they pulled up to the Hogwarts courtyard, where their friends had obviously grown tired of waiting and gone inside to eat dinner. James helped Lily down from the carriage and sat her down on the fountain wall, where they had sat last Christmas. He patted her back and stroked her hair (which she found very comforting as long as she didn't focus on the fact that it was happening) and whispered "Breathe, Evans, breathe,"

When she was finally calm James stopped the physical contact (which she was sort of thankful for), and escorted her to the dinner table. She carefully avoided looking at the Ravenclaw table, and James (probably aware of her discomfort) sat their backs to the rest of the room, across from their friends. Dinner was beef (something Sirius was probably gutted he was missing), and everyone was happily chatting about their day and eating. There were pumpkins lining the room, flying above them – bats occasionally swooped down and flew past the students. All in all it was a fantastic feast despite the absence of Mary and Marlene.

Half way through desert, Severus Snape walked over to where Lily sat at the Gryffindor table. He ignored James mostly, but glared at the fact that he was seated next to Lily. He himself took the seat on her other side, pushing a random second year down a bit.

"Good date?" he said sourly.

"Not particularly," Lily said truthfully. "How was your day?"

"Fucking fantastic," Severus said, "I spent the entire day with Emmanuel and Bertram,"

"Who're they?" Peter asked, interrupting Snape's obvious anger.

"Avery and Mulciber," he snapped. "But at least you got yourself a nice boyfriend" he added spitefully.

"Actually Severus, I did not," she informed him under her breath.

"You didn't?" he growled disbelievingly. He too was speaking in lowered voices, hoping to deter those around them from hearing. Of course, everyone was listening intently in anyway.

"No – Oliver and I are not in a relationship, so you can stop being so sour about me not going to Hogsmeade with you. I've told you four have no heard times already – we'll go Christmas shopping together next time,"

"I didn't mean Oliver," he whispered now, his eyes hard on James. Lily glared.

"Are you still up for going next time?" she inquired, pretending to have not heard.

"Until you get another date," he said bitterly.

"Snivellus, don't be a git," James interrupted. "If there's any possibility she'll go with you at all it's a miracle – be rational,"

"I am being totally rational, Potter," Severus growled.

"When was the last time you had any form of rational thought?" James dared.

"When was the last time you brushed your hair?"

"When was the last time you washed your hair?"

"At least I don't go around hexing random first years,"

"At least I bathe,"

"Yes, in the tears of young children,"

"At least my skin can bear to touch something as pure as childrens' tears without burning," James growled.

"Very funny – you're smarter than you look. Then again, you're still not as smart as smart as you act, Potter," Snape spat.

"Either way Snivellus, I'm smarter than you,"

"Lily, can we go somewhere and talk?" Severus said, turning to Lily.

"No Sev, I'm sorry I'm really not in the mood. It's been a long day and I can't be bothered to be shouted at right now. Maybe tomorrow," she told her friend. He scowled at her, stood up and left the Great Hall in a huff.

"I honestly don't know why you put up with him," Emmeline said, taking another spoonful of her haunted-jelly.

"He's a sod," James agreed.

"He's my friend, James. You of all people should understand the kind of crap you put up with from your best friend," she said.

"Sirius always tries and talks to me when he's in the bath!" James said glumly out of nowhere. Lily choked on her pumpkin juice.

"What?" she demanded incredulously.

"He gets lonely when he's in the tub, and always tries to coerce me into talking to him when he's in the bath"

"And do you talk to him?" Lily asked, sincerely amused at the thought of it.

"I mostly just read transfiguration text books at him through the door," James admitted sadly.

"You two have a disturbing relationship," Donna informed him.

"Talking about disturbing…" Emmeline said, her eyes transfixed on a point near the doors of the Great Hall. Lily and James spun around and saw what she meant immediately.

Stood in the doorway was a figure Lily barely recognized upon first viewing. She was wearing a red skirt and a black blouse, and she had tanned olive skin. What was unrecognizable however was the hair. Where Charlotte Parkinson's hair had been gloriously long and brown, it was now cut short around her ears and dyed a hideous shade of ginger. Lily looked at James, expecting him to have an answer, but he just shrugged. Remus actually snorted with laughter.

The girl skipped (no kidding, there was a spring in her step) towards where the gawping third years sat and stole the seat that Severus had just vacated.

"Hey guys," she said sweetly. "How was Hogsmeade?" Charlotte asked, whilst helping herself to a piece of the treacle pie that Lily herself was enjoying.

"Good, thanks…" Peter said slowly, "did you… do something with your hair?"

"Oh yeah – I went down to the salon in town – I fancied a change. It's so light!" she giggled.

"It's nice," Remus said awkwardly after the lingering silence.

"So, Lil. How did your date go?" Charlotte said to Lily. For a second Lily sat there dumbfounded. This was probably the first time 1. She'd called her Lil 2. She'd been nice to her. 3. She'd taken an interest in Lily's life.

"It was great I guess, thanks," Lily said. "Did you have fun?"

"Well, I had a change of plans," she said sweetly. She didn't even glare at anyone. "I met up with a couple of my friends from Ravenclaw, and they suggested the image change,"

"It's quite something," Emmeline said. "Oh, Lily could you pass the custard? Sorry! Charlotte, it's beside you isn't it? Could you pass the custard?" James and the boys scoffed – Lily scowled at her friend.

"Sure thing, Em," things were getting too weird for Lily.

"I think I'm going to get an early night…" Lily said slowly. James stood up immediately.

"Me too," he said.

"Yeah, I'll join you," Charlotte said.

"But you haven't eaten," James pointed out to her barely touched treacle tart.

"I have some stuff in our dorm. We could have a little feast and chat about everyone's dates!" Charlotte suggested excitedly. It was exactly what Marley, Mary, Emmeline, Lily and Donna had already planned this morning anyway – just with the addition of this smiling, friendly, slightly terrifying Charlotte Parkinson.

"Yeah… sure," Lily said politely, giving James a searching look. The three of them made the awkward walk back to the Common Room in almost complete silence, with James' hand occasionally brushing Lily's, and Charlotte's doing the same to his. Lily didn't understand why Charlotte Parkinson was suddenly being very nice to her and why on earth she looked like she did.

Marlene and Mary arrived in the dorm a few minutes before curfew looking flustered.

"Lily, what've you done to your hair?" Mary exclaimed, noticing Charlotte who was sat with her back to the door on Lily's bed. Emmeline sat beside Lily. They had been discussing Emmeline's day, whilst munching on the fudge Lily had bought from Honeydukes and the chocolate frogs that Charlotte had stashed in her trunk. "Oh my Merlin! Sorry Charlotte – hello…"

"Hey Mare," Charlotte said happily. "Do you like it? I got it done in the Salon in town,"

"It's certainly very different," Marlene said, and then fell onto Lily's bed. "I've had a lovely day, thanks guys,"

"Spill!" Emmeline demanded. They all snuggled together in a circle around the one bed, with the stash of food and wrappers in the middle of them. It was nice, Lily thought - except for the horrible fear she felt every time she saw Charlotte Parkinson smiling.

"Sirius Black is a good kisser," Marley started. "Not only that, but he is an exceptionally hilarious chap,"

"Where did you guys run off to?" Donna demanded.

"We went into the Hogshead! It was really empty, but Sirius managed to convince the Bar Tender that he was 17 and we got fire-whiskey! It was disgusting, but awesome," she giggled happily.

"Are you drunk?" Lily asked disapprovingly.

"Maybe a bit," Marlene admitted with a goofy smile.

"And anyway, he bought me dinner at Madam Pudifoots, and then we kissed for a bit more. Then we came back up here. It was epic!"

"I can't believe you drank!" Lily exclaimed. "You're 13!"

"I'm 14 in January!" she rolled her eyes.

"Emmeline! Tell her!" Lily moaned, but it was Charlotte who spoke.

"I agree with Lil, Marley. It was really irresponsible of you to do that," everyone looked shocked. The old Charlotte Parkinson would've been the one to initiate the under aged drinking.

"It doesn't matter!" Marlene chuckled.

"So is Sirius your boyfriend?" Donna asked.

"Gosh, labels are so… subjective. I don't like them…"

"You don't like them or he doesn't like them?" Emmeline said seriously.

"We agreed that…"

"It would just be fun?" Charlotte asked. "That's guy talk for 'I can still ask anyone I want to Hogsmeade and you're not allowed to get mad'. I'm sorry, but it's true, Marlene!"

"What do you know? James ditched you before it could even be fun," Marlene said harshly. Tears started uncharacteristically in the other girl's eyes. "You can make yourself look like Lily all you like, but he won't want you,"

"That's a really mean thing to say!" Charlotte sobbed.

"It's true – it was obvious this morning when you were dressing like her and now it's just ridiculous. He can see through it, you know?" Charlotte was actually crying now, floods of tears.

"Marlene, maybe that's enough?" Emmeline suggested, feeling somewhat uncomfortable in front of this sobbing version of Parkinson.

"Yeah, I'm going to go find someone who knows how to have fun," Marlene hiccupped and stumbled from the room.

"She's going to end up pregnant by sixth year," Mary laughed, attempting to disperse the tension in the room. Charlotte mopped her tears with the side of Lily's duvet.

"Sorry about that," she said pathetically, her voice strained.

"Now – let's talk about my day!" Mary declared. "So, I went with Ulysses, and we did all the normal Hogsmeade stuff, then we went and met a bunch of his friends, and they're all really cool. So they invited me to the mountains with them. It was really great – we went for a hike. Then we watched the sun set from a cave at the top of the mountain, and he kissed me. Then we came back and I met Marlene and Sirius, and they were both heading to the kitchens, so I joined them and we got something to eat. Then we came back up here and Marlene shouted at Charlotte. Lily, your go?"

"Oliver kissed me, I was almost sick and James hexed him," Lily laughed. Everyone joined in.

"He hexed him?" Mary questioned.

"Twice actually," Emmeline vouched.

"Then he ran off looking sad," Lily finished. "I was having a terrible time anyway,"

"Oh Lil, that's really a shame," Mary sighed. "James is such a cockblock,"

"What on earth?" Emmeline questioned with a burst of laughter. "What's a cockblock?"

"You know, he threw hexed Oliver to stop him from being with Lily – cockblock," Mary explained.

"You need to stop hanging around with Hufflepuffs," Lily decided.

—

That week was superbly weird for Lily. Not only was Divination now the most awkward experience of her life (sat silently writing things opposite Oliver who gave her equal parts glaring and sad puppy eyes) but everywhere she went she was followed by Charlotte Parkinson. She would wake up early in the morning to accompany Lily to breakfast, send her notes in lessons, needlessly go to the bathroom with her, and sit beside her in the library when she was trying to study.

Lily wasn't the only person who had noticed the strange behaviour. Severus had noticed this new trend in behaviour but far from realising that Lily was just as put out by this as he was, he'd taken to assuming she was happy to have her own possy. He'd been ignoring her practically since Halloween. Luckily, her other mates weren't so blind. Emmeline sent her a note in Defence (the only lesson in which the other girl couldn't sit beside her due to a seating plan) saying:

Lily, what the hell is up with Parkinson?

I have no idea, she doesn't leave me alone.

Just tell her to go away

That's mean!

She's mean!

She's actually been perfectly nice for the past week.

By suffocating you? You realise why she's doing this, yes?

Because aside from those nasty Ravenclaws she has no friends?

No – because (and I hate to admit it) but Marlene was right. Potter dumps her because he likes you – she then becomes you, and tries to be your best friend.

… well, how do I get rid of her?

Well, I've been thinking about that.

Tell me.

There's really only one solution that will bring out the old Parkinson.

And that is?

Conquer number 1.

…No.

Why not? Just a kiss, where she can see you. Or a date - with no kiss if you like! She just has to be aware of it.

But it's mean.

She deserves it.

It's not her I'm worried about.

I thought you hated Potter?

I don't HATE Potter. I spend too much time around him to hate him. I just don't like him and the things he does. Leading him along like that is just mean.

It's the only way to get things done.

No.

Ask him for his help? He's as confused by this as you are – and the guy would do anything to get a kiss out of you.

Ugh… no. Could that work? … No.

DO IT.

Emmeline you're completely unreasonable.

Do it.

Darville is looking at us. Smile innocently.

THAT was an innocent smile? Really? You looked like you were going to skin him alive.

Are you going to ask Potter for help or not?

Maybe… if things get any worse.

—

Things did get worse. That evening Lily was meeting Severus in the library to study for a potions test that was coming up. Lily didn't think Sev would want Charlotte sniffing around when they were trying to work, so she told the girl that it was a private mates-chat. Charlotte was having none of this, and told Lily that if they were going to be mates, she should at least be friends with Snape as well. It was pretty much the last straw.

She finished eating early, so she could run back to the Common Room and grab her potions book, when Charlotte put down her knife and fork and followed Lily wordlessly out the hall. Emmeline looked at James and said "This is your fault,"

"How?" James questioned, apparently thinking himself as innocent. "What is even going on with those two?"

"You started this whole, 'you're not like Lily ergo you're not my type' business,"

"I would never use the word ergo!" James cried. Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Is that what this is about?"

"You're clueless," Emmeline sighed sadly.

"Of course I am!" James exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"Shut it Potter, you got her into this mess, you get her out of it," Emmeline said with an ounce of menace.

—

James was out of the Great Hall before Emmeline had even finished her plan. He skidded into the Entrance Hall, and saw Lily making her way sullenly up the main staircase, flagged by Charlotte who was also silent. Emmeline had been right - Lily needed helping out of this mess. He called her name, and both girls turned in unison. Taking the steps two at a time he ran up them and headed for Lily.

"Emmeline told me… about the notes in Defence," he hinted, so that this wouldn't come as big of a shock to her. "I know that you might have wanted to tell me yourself, when the time was right. But Lil…" he took another step towards her. There was no acting required on his part. He'd been thinking of little else since watching McEwan maul her. "There's no time like the present," he leant in, they were eye to eye, because he was on the step below her. His lips found hers, and brushed across them gently. He wanted to show her that he could save her – that he was different to Oliver McEwan – that this kiss meant more to him than getting rid of an annoying stalker. It was a lot for one kiss to say.

There was a crash and a wail. Lily and James jumped away from each other, the former shooting the latter a look of thanks and total shock. Oh great – James thought, just what I wanted. James looked down the stairs to see Severus Snape, bag over his shoulder, walking away from a suit of armour that had been pushed to the floor. His pace was fast and his shoulders were hunched angrily. James turned back to her to see the look of desperation in her eyes.

"Sev!" she called, but to no avail.

—

She heard the slap before she felt it. Charlotte Parkinson was shouting at her, pushing her over. Stumbling back, Lily tripped and ended up on the floor, watching as students leaving dinner early gawped at the events unfolding. Parkinson was pulling Lily's hair now, trying to make her stand, and it wasn't until James pulled the girl from her that Lily was able to realise she was being attacked.

"Calm down Charlotte!" he called, struggling to keep the flailing girl at bay. People were gathering in the Entrance Hall now, curious as to the sound of commotion. Lily felt herself tearing up from the pain and humiliation. She wanted to find Severus and explain to him – she wanted to whack Emmeline round the head – she wanted to curl up in bed and cry until her pillow was too wet to sleep on. But first and foremost she wanted to get out of that hallway. But how to do that? Of course, she thought, she did have a way.

Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small box, and from the box removed a small glass vial. She spun around quickly to check her escape route, and threw the vial down, smashing it on the ground.

The entire hall filled with smoke within seconds – Mr Zonko had been right about that. Lily cursed her corrupt ways, and dashed for the exit. She ran and ran; her arms outstretched so that she wouldn't walk into anything. James cried out "Lily! Don't…" but by the time the smoke cleared, the girl was two floors away.

She ran, tears blurring her vision, her feet barely aware of where they were carrying her. Finally she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, where she found solace due to the fact that everyone was at dinner. Cursing herself, she realised she couldn't stay here – James would be back soon, and she shared a dorm with Charlotte. She'd be killed whilst she slept! Grabbing her cloak from her dorm, she made to dash out of the Common Room.

She reached the top most tower, which was an empty astrology class room, when she wrapped her cloak around her and sobbed. Everything was a disaster. Severus hated her – she would get a detention for using a Zonko's product in the corridors – James probably hated her – Charlotte was going to murder her. She was also cold and uncomfortable.

An hour passed before anyone found her.

There was a knocking at the door, which Lily (who was curled in the corner, hiccupping from dry-crying) thought odd. How did anyone know that someone was in here? This room was barely unused, other than for crying teenagers, apparently. They knocked again, Lily took in a deep breath, and went to go and open the door.

"Why did you run off like that?" James demanded, stood in the doorway with an angry sadness encapsulating his face. He was still wearing his robes that he'd been wearing earlier, though now his hair looked limper and he had the shape of a red hand across his cheek. Lily wanted to reach out and apologize.

"I didn't want to be in that situation any longer. Aren't you the one that told me exactly how to do that?" Lily sighed, recalling how well they'd gotten along in Hogsmeade. The kiss hadn't even been bad – compared to Oliver's it had actually been everything she'd thought it should be.

"That's not the bloody point, Evans. I was worried," he looked it.

"And I was humiliated and attacked!" she cried. James flinched as though the sound in her broken voice pained him.

"How're you?" he asked softly now, stepping forwards to look at her. "Your face looks sore – quite a hit that girl has," James gestured to the red mark on his own face. Lily wondered if she had a matching one.

"I'm fine," she lied.

"You've been crying," James pointed out with a small chuckle.

"I'm a girl – I'm allowed to cry when I get hit," Lily said. "Close the door," he obliged.

"No – you're Lily Evans. You weren't crying because you got hit," James informed her.

"Wasn't I?" she questioned – she was pretty sure that her face stung.

"No. You were crying because now not everyone thinks you're as perfect as you think you are. You were crying because despite the fact I was trying to help you, I humiliated you in front of half the school. You were crying because Severus Snape saw me kissing you, and now he hates you," Lily felt the tears again. Okay – maybe it wasn't just her face that hurt.

"I didn't ask you to help me!" she retorted, angry at him for knowing her so well, when the whole time she had thought that he knew nothing but how to be a jerk.

"No, but I did anyway. And do you know why? Because you're so fucking helpless Lily. You go around preaching all this crap about equality and feminine solidarity and whatever, and yet you let people treat you like shit. Snivellus treats you like shit – Charlotte was totally using you to get to me – and you just let them. And me – stupid, arrogant and presumptuous James Potter – thought that maybe these last few years was just harmless bickering. Maybe I was getting somewhere with you – to a point where you didn't laugh every time I asked you out. I thought that maybe we could be mates. But you're up here crying, feeling sorry for yourself, despite the fact that you're the one in the wrong. You completely used me today – I know you didn't ask me to do it, but you didn't stop it. You're a horrid person Evans. I might be a prat but at least I'm upfront about it!" Lily felt her lower lip tremble and a lump form in her throat. She was going to lose it – but she wasn't going to let herself do that in front of Potter. The only thing worse than sadness itself was James Potter knowing she was sad.

"Then why are you so obsessed with me?" she said harshly. He looked like he'd been slapped – again. He stepped backwards, and looked upon her with disgust.

"Consider this obsession over," he said, slamming the door and walking off.

She didn't know when she stopped crying, but when she finally did it wasn't because she wasn't sad anymore. It was simply because she had no more tears to cry. She didn't know what time it was, but knew it was far past curfew. She wondered if Filch would come in here, find her lying on her back counting the stars through the window, and just leave her there as he had. Remembering the sadness in his eyes hurt, and she wanted to go up to him and apologize. But she never did. She just lay there on the cold floor, watching the sky grow brighter and brighter.

Her head ached.

By the time the sun had risen fully, she had composed herself. She hadn't slept, so her eyes were extra red and puffy. Calculating where the nearest bathroom was, she set out a plan of action: 1. Find bathroom – clean face – look less miserable/sleep deprived 2. Go down to breakfast so early that no one will be around. Steal some croissants (maybe even enough for lunch) 3. Go the long route to the Common Room, so that she won't walk into anyone and everyone will have left by breakfast to allow her to 4. Sneak into dormitory. Change clothes and get books for the day's lessons 5. Run to Charms, being JUST on time, so no awkward waiting outside the room with Potter and or Parkinson.

The first phase of the plan went brilliantly, as she was so far away from any Common Rooms that no one was around. She got to the bathroom on the seventh floor west wing, washed her face, finger-combed her hair and put it into a messy braid, and brushed her teeth with a transfigured tooth brush. Getting from the bathroom to the hall (and stealing food) without being seen by anyone proved noticeably harder. Luckily it was still so early that no one other than Early Birds were awake. However, as Lily had noticed in her first week at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin had been an early riser. He was sat at the far end of the hall, eating a bowl of musli. He seemed content.

Lily slipped in the Great Hall, dashed to her table, and filled her pockets with croissants. She thought she saw Remus looking over at her with confusion, but when she took a double take he was still munching on his cereal, so she continued on with the plan. The long route to the Common Room took twenty minutes. Between these times she figured most people would have made their way at least partially to the Great Hall. The only people she saw were the occasional Hufflepuff 6th year (who didn't care about Gryffindor 3rd year gossip) and a few ghosts. The final stretch of corridor to the Fat Lady was in sight, when she saw James, Sirius and Peter exciting the portrait hole, and heading for the nearest staircase. Luckily Lily was hidden expertly around the corner – though she dared not peak until she had given them enough time to leave.

When she popped her head around the corner, she saw Sirius Black looking down at her.

"Lily, what're you doing?" he asked her.

"Expertly avoiding detection," she whispered back to him in reply.

"Obviously. Why?" he questioned, leaning down to be at eye level with her.

"I don't want to exist today," informed the girl. Sirius laughed.

"Then take a sick day?" he suggested.

"No – for one thing I don't take sick days even if I'm sick. And another thing, the only thing worse than seeing… certain people today, is not seeing them at all," Lily said.

"Why?" he questioned.

"They'll think I'm a coward," she told him, her eyes wide and pained.

"It means that much to you that people don't think you're a coward," Sirius quizzed her.

"One of the first things James Potter ever said to both of us was "Gryffindor, where the brave of heart dwell,". Do you really think he'd respect me as a human being if I sat in my dorm and cried because I got whacked by Parkinson?" she broke the eye contact.

"Why does it matter if he respects you?" Sirius asked kindly.

"Because yesterday he pointed out that people don't see me how I see me. They need to know that I don't care. And because for my entire time here he's always liked me unconditionally – even if I was friends with Sev or did stupid things or… and now he doesn't,"

"So that's why you're breaking into your own Common Room with pockets full of croissants?" he pointed out ridiculously.

"A girl's gotta have some leeway Sirius," she told him. Of course he laughed. "Fake it 'til you make it and all,"

"Evans, you've got to stop,"

"It's only one day! I just don't want to get hit again!" she said quietly.

"I don't mean sneaking around. Do that all you want, you little ginger ninja. I mean: stop getting James' hopes up. I think… he might be able to move on from you now," that stung and Lily wasn't really sure why. "But you need to stop making him think like moving on is a bad idea,"

"When have I ever done that?" she asked, insulted. She'd never meant to lead him along.

"Christmas last year, Hogsmeade…" he listed. "Just… date Snape,"

"I don't like Sev like that!" Sirius looked genuinely confused.

"But you put up with him…" he puzzled.

"You put up with James," she retorted angrily.

"James is different," Sirius muttered.

"Why? The way I see it they are exactly the same," and she believed it to be true. They were the opposite sides of a coin, but not so different after all.

"That's going to make it harder for you," Sirius told her. "Look, Evans – I'm all aboard the SS. Jily, in fact – I'll don a captain's hat if you want me to, but you have got to stop pulling into the harbour before cruising!"

"You… make no sense," she informed him – her mind attempting to make sense of his metaphors.

"If you like James go for it – I'd rather it be you than Parkinson, or any of the other fans out there. You might make him happy – maybe… if you learn to lighten up. Just, either go for it or don't," he instructed her.

"I don't like James romantically; he's not my type,"

"James is everyone's type," Sirius said with a dark edge to his voice. "Heck, I've even seen Remus eye him up when he's walked into the dorm wearing just a towel"

"You boys really should reconsider dorm arrangements…" Lily suggested, remembering how James sat outside the bathroom door reading his friend transfiguration books whilst he bathed. So maybe he wasn't a total jerk – she reconsidered.

"James is my best friend – he's like my brother,only my real brother's a prick, so he's better. He's all I have in this world Lily, and if you hurt him - which you do quite often - I might have to hurt you…" Lily thought of Marlene immediately. She nodded, words stuck in her throat. "Have fun with your croissants," he said, then turned on his heel and sauntered away.