Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyers. I just took her story and put it into my own words; I would've written it this way.
Sorry it's taken so long to update, I just need inspiration to write, and I'm working on getting some now.
This is for my own Jacob, without whom I'd probably never understand the friendship Bella and Jacob have. Thought he and I never had the whole he's in love with her problem and never will, he is my Jacob, in every other way.
After we got Billy in the truck, Jacob walked out into the forest and looked back only to smile at me before he disappeared behind the trees. My heart warmed at that grin and I began driving towards La Push. We were there in no time, or at least it felt like it. Billy was never much of a conversationalist with me. After Jacob helped him inside he took my bag from the truck and deposited it in his room before we started walking to the cliff. I walked close to him, the cold air was no friend of mine, and he put and arm around my shoulders to keep me closer. I looked up at him as we walked.
"You really 'ought to watch where you're going Bells." He chuckled as I tripped for the fifth time since we'd left the house. I looked down, embarrassed and watched the road as I walked. He ran his hand up and down my arm and I sighed in contentment.
"But I like the view so much better where you are." I smiled shyly up at him and he stopped to turn towards me. I looked up at him with a questioning look on my face. "What's wrong?" he looked troubled, almost pained. I didn't like the look on his face.
"Bells are you ever going to let me in?" he looked at me and cupped my face. I looked up into his eyes and closed mine after a moment. He was so intense and sweet and… intoxicating. I took in a deep breath before opening my eyes once more; bracing myself for the look I loved so much.
"I love you Jacob. Isn't knowing that enough for now? I know, you've been patient and I know it's unfair of me to keep you waiting, but I can't wrap my head around anything right now, anything but you. I need to understand that before I can understand anything else. I don't even know if that makes sense. I just, I want everything to be good with us, and I know its right, but I want to be sure. You're young Jacob, you may want me now, but what about ten years from now, when I'm old and you're not?" I looked at him and as he cupped my face my eyes fell closed and I rested my head in his palms. He was so warm.
"I will never change my mind Bella. Never." He smiled just as I opened my eyes to look up at him. I suddenly couldn't breathe, couldn't think, I couldn't really feel. Everything was right, but something was wrong. I couldn't focus, slowly I could see the blur I knew was his face moving closer to mine, and I knew he was going to kiss me. It shouldn't be like this though; I wanted to remember what it was like the first time we kissed. Then my eyes were closed and just as I felt his lips on mine I fell. I made it halfway to the street before I felt his arms around me, but something was even more wrong then I knew. I was shaking and trembling, and then Jacob was running with me in his arms. I felt the wind rush past me as he ran faster and faster, then I heard voices, some worried, others shocked, and one concerned.
"What happened Jake?" I heard Sam Uley's familiar voice. I heard an ugly sound like a yelp and it took me a moment to realize it was my own. I must have been vocalizing the sudden pain I was feeling. Jacob had hugged me tighter to his chest and there was another hand on me now, feeling my forehead. "She's burning up Jacob…" there was a new tone in Sam's voice. A tone of both understanding and curiosity, I tried opening my eyes but instead another yelp escaped my lips.
"You can't be right Sam, it can't be…" Jacob's sweet voice was filled with pain. I didn't want him in pain, I tried to tell him not to feel bad, I was probably just coming down with the flu, but the sound came out again and then he was walking. I felt something soft and his arms weren't around me anymore. I let out another yelp of pain and then felt the unfamiliar hand on my forehead again.
"I'm positive Jake, she's running the temperature, and she's shaking, look at the pain on her face. Run home and tell Billy, get him out here. Now." I tried to wrap my arms around myself but moving hurt too bad. Sam was beside me, I could tell because of the heat. I'd heard Jacob's footsteps pick up as he ran off after some hushed cursing of protest. "Bella, listen to me. Just relax, I know it hurts, but relax. It's easier when you don't fight it. Jake will be back shortly; he'll be by your side. Don't worry."
I couldn't tell you when it was that the pain stopped, but I can tell you that when I could see straight again, I was shocked beyond belief. I was looking through eyes that weren't my own, they were sharper, and they were brighter. Everything looked different. I was still on the ground, but Sam was no longer beside me, he was a few feet away along with Jacob, Billy, Quill, Jared, Paul and Emily. I tried to sit up, but realized that I couldn't and why when I looked down at my hands, or paws I should say. I knew I'd had some bizarre dreams before, but this one was way out there I concluded. I had to be dreaming, I was a werewolf; how could that be possible? My paws were white and beautiful. It couldn't be me. This could not be real. Now Jacob was walking towards me, a million thoughts rushed through my mind as he spoke, "Bells, calm down." He must've read the expression on my face, if that was possible. Maybe he'd been looking into my eyes. I closed my eyes to think again as I tried to speak, a weird sound came out. "Don't talk, it's no use. Just wait a moment, Sam will be back and he'll explain." Then I heard Sam, but I didn't see him, I hadn't even noticed him leaving.
"Bella, calm down," it was almost like he was reading my thoughts, "You aren't dreaming, don't worry. Jacob is going to go phase then the rest of the pack will, Emily is going to take Billy home." He was there beside me then, in wolf form. Jacob had disappeared though, along with the boys, his brothers. I stood now, on four legs, four strong legs. My head was filled with questions; some Sam was trying to answer. "We didn't think it possible either, we were just as shocked, but don't worry, you'll fit in." I shook my head and I heard what sounded like a chuckle as the other boys stepped out of the forest just behind Sam, my favorite beautiful russet wolf stepping out further than the rest, closest to me now.
"Bella, you look amazing." I heard Jacob's amazing voice speak in shock. I looked into his eyes and my heart melted. I didn't care if this was real or not, all I cared about was being in his arms, not that it was possible right now. I let out what was meant to be a sigh and I heard him chuckle. I thought about our talk last night and how it all started after his last words. Sam was gasping then.
"Jacob, you triggered it. You started this." He looked between the two of us and I looked at Jacob who was looking at Sam. I thought to him now.
"Jacob, what does this mean? What do I do? What about Charlie and Renee?" I was worried now, above all else. I couldn't just drop off the face of the planet, it would kill my parents. I looked up at the sky and shook my big head.
"You don't have to disappear you know? You could tell them. They're the only exception to the rules." Jared's wise voice now filled my head and I realized then that they could all hear all of my thoughts, "Yeah, we can." He added at the end. I mentally thanked him and his big head moved up and down and I assumed he was nodding.
"How could I possibly tell them? They wouldn't understand the way your parents do. My mom… This would kill her. She'd go crazy and Charlie… Don't even get me started…" I looked down at my paws and Jacob moved closer to me to nudge my head up with his own before looking me in the eyes.
"They'll understand Bells, we'll tell them together." He spoke softly, or thought softly. My mind filled with thoughts of my future with Jacob before I could stop it. The dreams I had of us getting married, having kids, living happily ever after. Dreams of us and our life starting now and going on until the day we die. I shook my head to clear the dreams from the moment, "Wow." He whispered in his head and I looked down embarrassed. I heard some sort of gagging noise coming from the wolf I had come to know as Paul and saw Quill and Jared shaking their heads.
"We're going to go phase back now, we'll be enjoying the bonfire while you three talk." Jared spoke for the three of them before they retreated back into the trees. I looked at Jacob then at Sam before asking one of the many questions on my mind.
"Can we phase back now?" my small voice was so odd and out of place in this big mind shared with five boys. I looked at Sam hopefully. I didn't want to be like this anymore, not until I was ready and it was just us, not the other boys. This was embarrassing and weird and it scared me.
"Yeah, just head into the forest, Jake will bring your bag out to you, he grabbed it when he was getting Billy." I looked at Jake before walking, or tumbling, into the trees. Sam trotted off gracefully into the trees in the other direction. When I was sure I was far enough out I stopped and shook my head, waiting for Jacob. This was weird beyond belief. He was beside me before I realized, nudging me slightly as he thought to me.
"You'll get used to it. It takes some time, but you will." He looked at me and I looked down at my bag, he'd set it at the foot of a tree. I sighed and looked at him questioningly, without having to think about it pointedly. "Just relax," he answered my question on how to phase back, "Think of something happy, something wonderful, and relax." He thought of me for a moment and then I closed my eyes, without thinking of the outcome, he'd phased right in front of me, I heard him messing with the clothes he'd strapped to his ankle and opened my eyes only when he cleared his throat. I sighed and thought of him, of how amazing him was and all the things I loved about him and felt another tremble run through my body before I was standing on my own two legs. Two legs that looked nothing like my own actually, they were muscular, and longer. I looked at my arms now, still creamy but muscular as well. I shook my head in disbelief when I realized I was taller too, I was almost to Jake's shoulder, then I looked into his wide eyes and realized I wasn't the only one noticing my body, my naked body. I quickly reached for my bag and rummaged through it to find the bra and underwear I'd packed. I pulled those on quickly and then Jacob was beside me, I looked up at him, neither of us had said a word since I'd phased.
"You dream of us?" he nearly whispered as he stepped closer. We had about a foot between us. I set the bag down, not bothering to worry about my near nakedness; it was a little late for that. He was looking into my eyes anyways; I knew he wasn't looking at my body anymore. I looked into his eyes.
"Once in a while… or every night," I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as he once more cupped my face. When I opened my eyes his face was inches from mine. He looked so handsome there in the moonlight raining upon us between the trees. I looked at him and as usual, everything fell into place. All was right with the world. I couldn't think of a better time in my life then the time I spent in his arms. Jacob was so perfect to me, for me, I wasn't sure I really deserved him. In fact, I knew I didn't, but he deserved happiness, and he insisted it was with me. I looked at him now and saw in his eyes for the first time he was telling the truth. He was really happy with me. I cupped his cheek and ran my thumb along his jaw bone. He looked so… old. He looked older than he was anyways. I took a deep breath and reached up so my other hand rested on the back of his neck. He was everything to me, and I knew he could see that when he looked in my eyes, he was so good at reading me, like I was an open book. I stood on my tip toes to kiss him now, closing my eyes and praying he'd never let me go. The feel of his lips on mine was just right, like I always knew it would be. It wasn't strange or restrained, it was wonderful and comfortable. His lips were so soft on mine, and his tongue running across my lower lip pleading for entrance felt so good. I gladly parted my lips and let him explore my mouth as I explored his. My hands were in his hair and his arms were around my waist, picking me up so I wasn't on my toes. I wrapped my legs around his waist and that was when I felt something change. There was something more urgent about our kiss, like we needed each other. I knew I needed him, to live to breath, to smile, but now I understood what he really felt, and it was amazing. Knowing what Jacob felt gave me this sense that everything would be okay. It let me feel like I was on top of the world. When the kiss ended, the feeling stayed, and that warmed me even more. Jacob rested his forehead against mine and I let my eyes stay closed for a moment more.
"I love you Bella." He whispered and I sighed in contentment for the second time tonight.
"I love you too Jacob." I looked into his eyes and he slowly set me back on my feet, silently understanding my thoughts of needing to put clothes on so we could return to the bonfire. After watching me get dressed, he took my bag in one hand and my hand in the other before was slowly walked back out to join everyone. Emily had returned from taking Billy home and was sitting curled up by the fire in Sam's arms. The boys were all talking and roasting marshmallows, I just looked up at Jake and smile before he sat and I sat in front of him. His arms wrapped around me pulling me into him and I smiled as I relaxed into him. He was so perfect; I just couldn't wrap my head around how things were really going right with us. I forgot all about just now turning into a werewolf for the night and just let tonight be perfect, I knew tomorrow we'd have a lot of talking to do with the pack.
It was around two in the morning when everyone began to disperse, leaving only Jacob and I there by the fire. I hadn't moved much since we'd sat down and neither had he, we were comfortable. He kissed my head every so often, and I'd entwined our fingers about an hour after sitting. His breath was cool on my neck and I liked that. Once we were sure everyone was really gone, we began talking again, about all the dreams we'd both had, now that he'd seen mine. We talked about getting married sometime, and what we'd name our kids. I smiled as he suggested name after name, and he agreed every time I said no to one. He was so great to me, and I knew I wouldn't ever be as good for him as he is for me, but he didn't care about that, so I couldn't.
"I cannot wait to be with you forever Bella." He looked into my eyes when I turned to look at him and I smiled for the billionth time.
"You've already got me forever Jacob, there is no waiting." I laughed and leaned up to kiss him gently.
"I mean marriage Bells. I want to marry you and I want us to be a family." He smiled at me and I shook my head, "Don't you tell me marriage isn't any more permanent than what we've already got, because it is. It's a commitment, and its one I could only ever make with you." He looked at me and smiled knowing it would make me melt once more.
"For you, I guess I could manage getting married." He smiled triumphantly and I shook my head before closing my eyes and falling into his arms. "For you, I could do anything without a second thought." I whispered and kissed his neck softly.