A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay, guys. I had a bit of a writer's block with this one, so please be kind. I blended two chapters in one, so I won't be late on my schedule and the chapter length is the usual.
TW: mentions of child abuse, language and a bit of bullying.
Characters you should check out: The Adams-Fosters family/ Taylor (The Fosters)/ The Liars (PLL)/ Coach Fulton (PLL)/ Arthur Carlin (South of Nowhere)/ Emma Swan (OUAT)/ Skye (Agents of Shield)
Anyway, enjoy and please review!
A week later
Emily isn't a morning person. Never was, never will be. She hates feeling the pull back to reality, subconsciously knowing she is going to be torn away from her alternate reality where she's a unicorn, an astronaut or simply a happy child.
She has nightmares practically every night, but once she wakes up from them, she can usually get one good dream until the morning. She can escape her problems, torments and feelings and just be somewhere else, someone else. She loves those dreams with a passion and she feels that waking her up is like stealing her away from her "true" life, her happy uncaring self. Of course this isn't reality but she wishes it is so much. Maybe if she believes it enough, one day, she won't have to come back from her wonderland.
But there are nights where she can't shake her nightmares away, they repeat over and over. And over and over she jumps up, panic setting in as her mind can't connect quick enough with reality. So for a few seconds, her nightmare is as real as her. She dreads those nights, being stuck in a loop of terror and getting no rest.
This Sunday night wasn't one of those restless nights, and she was actually having a great dream about high school graduation. The Adams-Fosters, Sara included, were there cheering and clapping for her as she walked up the stage. She was about to receive her diploma, Brandon behind her, when she felt the pull.
She slips into consciousness against her will and feels herself boiling up with anger towards whatever disturbed her bright future.
It was Sara. Jumping on her bed with excitement. She sighs, this was going to be a long day.
"What the hell?" She asks, eyebrows raised in annoyance.
"It's my first day in school! And your second, since you spent last week with me." She states matter-of-factly. "So be excited!" She commanded with a wide grin.
Lena authorized Sara and Emily to take the rest of the week off to heal and spend time together. They caught up on schoolwork and discovered their new town with their foster siblings. Mariana showed them the beach, while Jesus brought them to the forest and showed Emily the quickest route to her favorite Lake. Brandon drove them around Central Park and the important places in Fillmore, like the ice cream parlor. They had a great time and were both grateful to the family for it.
Emily felt her anger slip away. What was an imaginary perfect world compared to that real, genuine smile. Her sister's smile always made her want to fight for it. It was one of the rare things who always calmed her down and gave her hope.
"How are you still excited about first days in school? We change at least twice a year." She asks disbelievingly, but with a smile of her own.
The younger girl shrugs. "You never know, this might be our last. So let's act like normal people and be scared and nervous." She adds, frowning with determination.
Emily shook her head. If there was one thing that Sara wasn't, it's scared or nervous. She loves school and always made a few friends. Unfortunately they never stayed long enough for them to become close, so she lost contact with all of them. Except her best friend in San Francisco, which she called a lot and texted all the time.
"Fine, what time is it anyway?" The blonde remembers she should probably get ready. And she really needs coffee.
"7:30." Sara answers simply, not seeing a problem there.
"Shit!" Emily jumps off the bed and darts to the bathroom, barely sparing a glance to her sister's giggling.
She takes a quick shower, not bothering to wash her hair since she has Physical Education after lunch. She puts on her new clothes, purchased during their shopping trip last week. She bought a whole new wardrobe and even makeup. She used to put some on in San Francisco and she liked the way it made her feel, so she decided to indulge in her bit of luxury. She kept it simple though. She'll never admit it to Sara, but she was a bit excited about her real first day. This time, she had her school stuff and it felt more real. She decided to wear tight black jeans, a grey "School kills my vibe" tank top with a blue flannel shirt on top and of course her golden brown chucks.
She grabs her worn out black backpack and settles it on her right shoulder before going downstairs. She has 5 minutes left to drink coffee.
She enters the kitchen, where everyone's talking about school. She silently takes a cup of coffee and gulps the hot liquid down as fast as she can.
"No need to burn yourself, love. You can take a few minutes." Stef tells her softly, before leaving the kitchen. "I'm leaving guys, see you tonight!" The kids barely notice, still enthralled in their debate over lunch systems.
"Be careful" Lena yells over the noise, a concerned look on her face.
Stef turns around, a loving smile on her lips "Always". She walks out the door.
They keep at it until Lena rushes everyone to the cars, barely on time. Brandon had his license, and with the two additional members of the family, they bought an old beat up blue SUV for him, and the kids after.
The teenagers all got in the blue SUV, feeling way cooler than riding with their mom. The boys were in front and the girls in the back. The first day, an argument about the seating arrangements broke out and even Emily shared her opinion on it. But in the end, a point about size won, Jesus being taller than the girls, thus needing more space.
Emily was torn out of her thoughts by Jesus.
"Cool shirt, where did you get it?" He asked, genuinely smiling.
She smiled back, feeling a bit of pride at her choice of tank top for her first real day in school.
"A music shop at the mall. At first I just went in to check out their guitar strings, I needed new ones. And then I saw rows of t-shirts and tank tops with funny and sarcastic sentences. They were cheap so I bought a few. I'll show you next time." She answers happily. She really loved that shop.
Brandon scoffs at the wheel. "Must be a real serious music shop if they have to sell goodies to make business."
Emily frowns and is about to reply when she's cut off by Mariana's angry tone.
"Just because they're not all uptight about music, doesn't mean they're bad. It just means they let their creativity wonder. It's not constricted to a genre or a type of lifestyle." She scolds him. "I think your top is nice too. I wouldn't wear it though, it's not my style. But it's fun." She adds, still very serious, towards Emily.
"Thanks, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm very impressed and a bit scared of your smartness. Seriously, you hide it well." Emily says half-jokingly.
Mariana just nods, barely holding in her smile as she cocks her head up in mock pride. The girls chuckle at their foster sister's antics.
"See Brandon, don't have to be a dick about music all the time." Jesus teases him.
"Hey! Language!" Mariana scolds Jesus now, but she soon smiles with the rest of her siblings, all very amused by her newfound authority.
The remaining of the short car drive is spent in silence, but it's enough for Emily's thoughts to take a darker turn. She spent a great week with the Adams-Fosters, she was now sure they were good people and she should be able to relax. But every time she has what looks like a potential family, it all turns to ashes for one reason or another. After she lost Abigail, the first foster mother who actually acted like one towards her, she vowed to never get as comfortable again. She broke that promise in San Francisco and she's feeling herself breaking it again now. She needs to remind herself that for her, it'll never end well. Hope is the most hurtful thing there is, because it's deceitful and you're not prepared for your world crumbling down. It doesn't seem to hurt as much if you're prepared.
They arrive at school just in time for their classes. Emily silently guides Sara to the middle school building before rushing towards the high school one. She enters Mr. Fitz's classroom right as the bell rang, still focused on her impending doom, and bumps into a smaller blonde, wearing an expensive summer yellow dress, matching heels and a luxury handbag. She's about to apologize when the girl cuts her off sharply.
"Hey! Watch it weirdo!" She spits venomously.
Emily is so not in the mood. "You shouldn't stay in the door frame if you don't want to be pushed by "weirdoes", fucking Barbie." She answers angrily, walking past her.
"What did you just say to me?" the girl asks, genuinely shocked.
She managed to find a seat on the right side of the class, by the window.
"I said you look like a Barbie, seriously this is high school, not the Paris Fashion Week" A few students chuckle at that, but most just seem to hold their breaths.
Barbie is about to answer when Mr. Fitz interrupts.
"Okay that's enough. Allison sit down, class is starting". He says pointedly.
Allison sits down a couple of tables on her right, her reserved place it seems. She's circled by her posse, who look very uneasy as she whispers to them.
The rest of the class was uneventful, Emily successfully blocking the annoying whispers coming from her right, but not the whispers in her head, reminding her she can't trust anyone, that she'll be abandoned again soon, or she'll manage to fuck it up somehow.
When the bell rings again, she darts out the classroom, needing fresh air. Once she's standing outside the building, breathing deeply, she feels a hand on her shoulder. As a reflex, she turns immediately, bringing her fists up at chest level, about to defend herself when she sees Lena's soft smile.
"Hey." Emily says, letting her hands fall and calming down, but still in a bad mood.
"Hey. I did Sara's paperwork this morning, and I noticed her last name is Greene, but yours is Finnegan, right?"
She nods, knowing where this is going.
"Why are they different?" She asks, brows furrowed.
She shrugs, a bit annoyed by the prying. "Dunno. I asked Artie once, he told me he had no idea. It wasn't in my file."
"That's it? Arthur didn't look any further?" Lena presses on.
"Well it's not like he could ask my parents." She says bitterly.
"Why? What happened?" Lena asks, a concerned look in her eyes.
Emily turns from annoyed to angry as she recalls her biological parents. It's a touchy subject for her and she hasn't discussed it with anyone since Artie became her social worker, two years ago. Not even with Sara, so she's sure as hell isn't going to with a woman she met a week ago.
Despite her rage boiling up, she's trying to figure a way out of answering without offending Lena. She's literally saved by the bell.
"It's a long story. Sorry I gotta go to class." Emily says, trying to look apologetic. She starts towards her next class.
Lena simply answers with an "Ok" before also returning inside the building and walking towards her office.
By the end of 4th period, she's famished. She managed to keep herself calm throughout the morning but she was looking forward to P.E after lunch. She needed to let some steam off.
Once she gets her tray, she sits down in the far end of the cafeteria at an empty table. Her mind is still racing, trying to convince her to keep her guard up. But she can hear that little voice, in the very back of her head, trying to argue that this may be it. Her internal bickering is interrupted by a familiar male voice.
"Hey you ok?" She looks up to see a concerned Jesus sitting across from her.
"Yeah, why?" She answers more forcefully than she wanted to.
"You're eating at a normal speed and your hands are shaking" He points out, matter-of-factly.
She sighs and looks down at her half empty plate of chicken and mash.
"So what's going on? Maybe I can help." He says with a warm smile, trying to open his yoghurt.
She looks up at him suspiciously, searching for his intentions. She had foster brothers offering help before, but let's just say it wasn't free, so now she's being careful. The only reason she accepted Brandon's help is because she didn't have time to shake him off, that and her sister's safety was at stake.
But for the past week, Jesus has been nothing but kind. Sure he teased her a lot, but it was friendly and it actually made her feel accepted.
She finally answers, deciding not to lie but she's not going to share her inner turmoil with him either. She doesn't want to burden him.
"No you can't. But thanks for your concern. Don't you have friends to eat with? I know I'm the coolest person you ever met but still, they might get jealous." She smiles teasingly at him, starting to eat again.
He grins widely at that, seemingly reassured about her state.
"Presumptuous much? I'm just doing my good deed for the day, that's all." He answers playfully, before turning serious again.
"Sometimes, when my mind is racing and I can't focus, my hands start shaking too. I basically space out, unable to pay attention to anything, jumping from a thought to another, it's like I'm on drugs or something. It's annoying and I take a pill to go back to normal. I hate it." He pauses there, an angry look in his eyes. Emily knows it well, he feels like it's unfair. "It just makes me feel like I'm not normal, you know? And I thought something similar was up with you, so I came over to see if I could help." He explains.
Emily softens up. "No, it's nothing like that, don't worry. I've got something on my mind that's all. I would usually go swimming to clear my head, or at least go for a run. Maybe after school, depending on what P.E is like."
"That's why you asked about the lake". He realizes. "So you cope with sport, huh?" She nods, her mouth full of cheesecake.
He looks thoughtful for a few seconds. "I might try that, instead of the pills. It could work."
" Sure, won't hurt to try. But clear it with your moms and doctor first. They'll know if it's safe or not. And they'll help with the transition too."
"Yes, mother." He teases her.
She glares at him, faking annoyance while taking a sip of her water.
"So you're kind of a jock. Is that how you got that scar? Playing some kind of sport?" He points to the long jagged scar on her right forearm, currently holding the bottle of water.
She tenses, feeling uneasy, and puts the bottle down. "No, I, hum…" She puts her sleeve over the scar, suddenly needing to cover it up.
"Hey, I'm sorry. You don't have to say, it's ok." He looks at her like she's a wounded animal on the side of the road.
She holds his gaze a while, not knowing what to say. She hates talking about herself or her painful memories. It brings back the undying pain of the events and makes people look at her with such pity, just like Jesus is doing.
It's that look that she hates. It makes her feel weak and fragile, like the frightened kid who wasn't able to defend herself. And she knows she shouldn't blame herself for most of the shit that happened to her, but she can't help it. She should have found a way to do more.
She sighs, deciding if she wants to move on someday, she needs to be brave enough to put it in words. Talking helps, or so Arthur told her. And Jesus won't bother her with it after wards, it's not his style.
"It was a hay hook." Her voice is barely over a whisper. She clears her throat, and continues with a newfound determination.
"My second foster home was in a farm, we were 5 kids. Our foster father was a bastard who made us do chores around the farm after school and at weekends. We were basically free workers for him." She pauses, wondering how much she should tell him. Jesus looks at her with an attentive frown, pity gone. She nods to herself, he's listening.
"He would beat us up if we didn't finish our workloads and one day, my friend Emma and I were late putting back all the tools in the barn. He barged in angry as hell, and slapped me across the face. I was like, 9, so I basically flew across the floor. Em tried to apologize for us, to make him calm down. He got even angrier and grabbed one of the rusty hooks the adults used to manipulate the hay bales. I got back to my feet and ran back to them. Em was looking him in the eyes, defying him even though she couldn't do anything. I admired her for that afterwards, still do actually." She pauses shortly before getting back to her tale, finding it easier with each syllable for some reason.
"He was about to slash her across the cheek, so I tried to grab it from him. It was sort of a reflex, but I failed and it caught in my forearm." She takes a breath, this was the really painful part.
"Instead of pulling it back, he grabbed my throat and pushed me against the wall. He slammed my arm, with the hook still in it, over my head and proceeded to cut it deeper and across my whole forearm. I screamed, but he tightened his grip around my throat and I couldn't breathe anymore, so I definitely couldn't continue my screaming. I also trashed around, trying to escape, but it just made the hook snag in the cut. Which hurt like a bitch. He let me down, threatening my face next time I defy him and we went to bed. Em cleaned the wound and stitched it. It was her first attempt at stitching, that's why it looks so bad." She couldn't keep the sadness from her smile. She looked at Jesus expectantly, not knowing what kind of reaction he'll have.
"And was he arrested for it?" He asks, frowning.
"No, we didn't say anything. My social worker at the time didn't even notice the injury. He was arrested later on for something different and we were moved to another home." She states simply.
"Dude that's messed up." He pauses, looking directly at her. Emily is a bit uneasy at the scrutiny but she figures he doesn't know how to respond and tries to assess her mood.
So she smiles and grabs the chocolaty snack left unattended on his tray.
"Hey! That's mine!" He glares at her, before understanding what she was doing and relaxing.
She tosses it back to him. "Then eat it already. I'm done here, just waiting for you."
He grins at her, while unwrapping his snack. "So I suppose you're not a big Captain Hook fan?"
She can't help but chuckle lightly. Of course, that would be on top of his questions.
She smiles gratefully at him, he didn't make this a big deal. "No, not really. And anyway the guy is a creep. He's obsessed with a kid and wears a big-ass wig. I'm team crocodile."
Jesus smiles, chocolate all over his teeth. "Yeah, you're right. He sucks."
They sit in a comfortable silence for the remaining of his dessert. When he's finished they part ways and she goes to the gym. She changes in a stall, not comfortable revealing her body to her classmates. She quickly puts on a pair of grey track pants, a sports bra and a comfy white t-shirt. She also puts on her black running shoes and ties her hair up in a messy bun.
She comes out and sits on the bleachers, waiting for her teacher. The other classmates arrive group by group and soon enough, the bell rings. Coach Fulton comes out and stands in front of class. Just as she's about to start calling the roll, Allison and her friends arrive and take place at the center of the bleachers.
"That was very close girls, be careful." Coach warns them.
Allison ignores the teacher and whispers quite loudly. "It's all about the entrance you see".
Emily can't help herself and snorts loudly. The impeccably dressed blonde is about to answer something when Coach starts calling names. So Allison can only shoot daggers at her.
Emily puts up her arms up in mock surrender and then proceeds to ignore her.
When Coach is done, they can all choose what they want to do, since it's the end of the year. Emily chooses track. She really needs to run. She starts at a mild pace, trying to focus on not tiring herself out by sprinting. Although she really wishes she could run as fast as she can.
When there's only 10 minutes left of class, she decides to let go. She stops thinking about her speed and just focuses on the blissful sensation of her legs running on their own, the wind in her face. She runs as fast as she can, completely oblivious to the world around her and her classmates watching her as she finishes laps after laps. She lets her built up rage take over, her mind focusing on the pain coming as she'll be thrown out of the Adams-Fosters, and reminiscing about all the people who promised her shelter and love before abandoning her.
She hears the sound of a whistle and stops abruptly, just realizing she was out of breath. She also didn't realize she was crying. She hears footsteps coming to a halt beside her. She quickly wipes her tears away, feeling her cheeks getting hotter, if that was possible. It seems she's too late, judging by the questioning look the brunette gives her.
"Ok girls that was incredible. Please consider applying to the track team next year, you'd be great assets." Coach tells them as they get back to the bleachers under the impressed comments of their peers.
Emily snorts in her head. Like she's going to join in a school activity. If she's even here next year. She feels her rage creeping up again. Her thoughts are interrupted by Allison's high-pitched voice.
"Next time you'll get her Em. Don't worry."
The brunette doesn't answer and keeps staring at Emily. The blonde shakes her head at the comment.
Finally they're dismissed. Since she doesn't have any more classes today, she changes quickly and just grabs her stuff before coming back to the bleachers to do her homework until she can ride back with Brandon. She's quickly distracted by a group of teens sitting together and talking about prom. Prom… She didn't even remember it was prom season. They're there talking and laughing, their biggest issue being if their clothes will match. She never realized how insane her life has been, going from bad to worst since as far as she can remember. She never realized how much she wished to just fit in, to have someone to love and take care of her, a couple of friends and simple worries like prom.
She had that once, with Abigail. She lived with her for about 2 years, with Emma and Skye. They were happy and safe and they were family. And then, she died in a fucking car accident and her world came crashing down again. What the fuck?! It's like the universe hates her or something.
She sighs, angry again. All this brooding is pretty new. She used to accept things as they were, going from one shit show to another and fighting her way through without question. But she's tired of fighting for a lost cause. She's just really tired.
The bell rings again and she packs up her stuff, trying to cheer up for her sister. She goes to the middle school building, spotting Sara talking with a girl her age.
"Hey Sara, ready to go?" She asks with a genuine smile.
"Yeah, sure. This is Taylor, we're together in English." Sara introduces her new friend.
"Hi Taylor, I'm Emily, Sara's big sister. It's super nice to meet you." She extends her hand for the younger girl who shakes it with a small smile.
"It's nice to meet you too. Bye Sara, see you tomorrow!" She says excitedly.
"Bye !" Sara yells while they're going back to the high school building.
"I just need to grab a few things from my locker, this way." She guides her through the hallway to her locker. Sara starts chirping about her first day and her new friend Taylor. Emily just nods, smiling at her enthusiasm while stuffing books in her backpack.
"Hey" They're interrupted by the same brunette who ran with Emily earlier.
"I'm Emily Fields. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you were amazing out there. And I'm sorry for Allison, she can be a bit…" The brunette seems to hesitate.
"Bitchy?" The blonde Emily answers with a cheeky smile.
Sara nudges her. "Language" She scolds with a smile. The brunette laughs at the girls.
"Em, why are you talking to that freak?" Allison came out of nowhere and was suddenly standing beside Emily Fields. The rest of her posse behind.
Emily frowns and unconsciously moves in front of her sister.
"Back off, man. And go home." She says in a tired voice.
Allison takes a threatening step towards the taller blonde. "You don't get to tell me to do anything, freak." She looks her up and down. "School kills your vibe huh? And what vibe is that, the hobo vibe?" She laughs humorlessly.
Emily clenches her fists, about to answer, when she saw a smaller body moving in front of her.
"Leave my sister alone!" Sara yells at her, making herself as tall as possible.
"Oh, the freak has a little sister to defend her. How sweet!" Allison clasps her hands in front of her like an adult would do in front of a cute child. "Tell me, is it true that your parents abandoned you? After your sister here, your ugly face must've been too much for them. It's understandable…"
Her rant is cut off by Emily, who grabs her by the collar and slams her against the locker, holding her tight. Allison lets out a small surprised scream. The other girls move closer, a panicked look in their eyes but don't intervene.
The blondes' faces are inches apart when Emily says in a low dangerous voice, her eyes glowing with rage. "If you ever talk or even look at my sister again, I'll end you."She pauses. "For good". She finishes as a whisper in her ear.
She's interrupted by Lena's voice. Turns out one of the girls went to get help.
"Emily, let her go." And she does, reluctantly. She's still glaring at her though.
"She insinuated our parents left us because of Sara. You can't say shit like that to anyone, it's wrong. Sara's been through enough without having to listen to that crap." She says forcefully, her blood still boiling.
"You're right, it's wrong. But you can't shove people against lockers either." She turns towards the other girls. "Go home. There will be no punishment for anyone. But Allison if you ever pull something like that again, you'll be suspended." Allison is about to reply but Lena cuts her off. "Go, now !"
Allison and her posse move towards the exit, Emily Fields looking apologetically at the blonde. When they're at the entrance, Allison turns back and yells across the hall. "You'll pay for this, Freak"
Emily frowns and yells back "Go back to your dollhouse, Barbie."
"Enough! Let's go. I'm taking both of you home. And we'll talk about this." Lena orders forcefully.
The three of them exit the building together.