Italics=Flashback

Startled awake, Toby lifted his body into a sitting position at the unknown threat he heard. Once he had adjusted to the light, he noticed Spencer across the room, fully dressed and prepared for the day. Naturally, he was immediately worried and shocked with disbelief that her adamant work side had won out over her health in her amazing, yet burden of a brain.

But, as he expected, when he insisted she stay home for another day Spencer claimed that, "I'm perfectly fine," and "I'm already a day behind schedule," making points that Toby knew he couldn't convince her to change. He would just have to let her go and see what happened. Even though he was used to this side of Spencer, that didn't make it any easier to deal with. The only information he accomplished in learning with the experience is the fact that Spencer had to realise herself that she needed something, when she decided something it was final.

So she went to work, even though it was Saturday, and left Toby at home, waiting for her to return sicker than before. The only thing that comforted him was that tomorrow was Sunday and Spencer, no matter how hard working, never worked on Sunday. It was one condition she wasn't willing to break.

Toby wasn't used to the alone time, usually either with the kids or Spencer. It was only confirmed when he called both Aria and Melissa who both admitted they had fun days planned and that he should take a break by himself.

So as he tried to conjure up ways in which to spend his time, he couldn't help but let his mind wonder to Spencer. What was she doing now? How was she doing? Toby quickly came to the realisation that standing here wasn't going to help anybody, especially him as he thought of his over achieving wife.

Eventually, his blue eyes found the shower and in that moment Toby couldn't help but smile at his wife's thought process. When they, or Spencer, was designing the house, she had insisted that they had a shower with a built in music system. Immediately, he had said that was ridiculous and unnecessary but she had convinced him over time to reconsider it. He was never one for loads of luxuries but Spencer came from a rich family and although she was very different in comparison to her family, he could see that she did enjoy the luxuries. And he enjoyed them too. But he wouldn't ever have them without someone else's asking.

As he stepped over the threshold, into the music ridden shower, all the bad thoughts that scrambled around his head aimlessly just disappeared, into oblivion almost. That's the only way he could describe it. Countless thoughts had clouded his brain over the past years, over the past decade and although they had never bothered him that much he still had to be grateful for the temporary escape. Again, the brunette managed to make an appearance in his mind as he wondered if Spencer had any moments like this when recovering from the dollhouse. Maybe it was why she wanted the shower, so she could experience a similar feeling of freedom. Despite him knowing that the dollhouse would never leave her brain, he was curious if Spencer still had to find ways to escape. Like in the beginning. Toby remembered the morning after she had been released from hell, in the hospital. He remembered her numbness, quietness and the god almighty staring. Staring that he didn't think would ever break. He remembered her 'episodes', as Mr Hastings had called them, when a memory returned that only sent her 6 feet under again, forcing her to relive whatever had happened. But Toby also remembered the smiles. The smiles that meant so much more in that period of time. It was a rare occurrence but Toby was content with whatever kind of solace he could offer, however temporary. He promised to never take her smiles for granted again.

Once he had forced himself out of the shower, found something to eat and sat on the couch for a while, watching some TV show, he heard the phone from where it was located in the kitchen.

Toby viewed the caller, relief and hope filling his body, "Hey Spence, how you feeling?"

"Toby, hi, it's Amanda," that relief was quickly replaced with fear. Why would Spencer's assistant be calling him?

"Hi Amanda, is Spencer okay?"

"Actually no, I think you should come down here."

"I'm on my way."

Toby was pretty sure he ran several red lights but as he pulled up to the building, rushing inside to his wife's office, he couldn't have cared less. First, he saw people gathered around Spencer's office door but as he got closer and quietly opened the door himself, shoving through the crowd, there was only 2 people present. Amanda, who was knelt in front of Spencer. Amanda was more of a friend so he trusted her with his wife's well-being.

As Amanda quickly realised that he was present she called him over silently with a head movement. But as he grew closer, he noticed the tears scattered down his wife's face and the fact she didn't seem to realise they were there, running down like a waterfall, as she stared off into the atmosphere.

He didn't touch her until he knew what was wrong even though he could see Amanda calmly rubbing her knee.

"She fainted," she explained quietly. Toby couldn't comprehend how his wife ended up like this over fainting, it didn't work in his brain.

"She came in looking pale and sick this morning and I had told her to go home. She refused," Amanda started to explain at his confused face. "Obviously her body couldn't take anymore and she fainted but when she came back she…I don't know, looked scared and haunted almost," she spoke slowly, unsure of her words. "She didn't let anyone touch her, only me, I don't know why."

Toby just nodded, he had witnessed similar things around his wife regarding her behaviour before. But that was 6 years ago. Just after the dollhouse. He knew the answer to Amanda's unasked question in a blink of an eye. Spencer trusted her. Toby remembered when he was the only one who could console her and bring her back to reality. In some ways he still was. It wasn't a surprise that she only grew more agitated with her parents there but her reaction to the girls…he was speechless when he witnessed it.

"Hey Spence, we…" Hanna abruptly stopped, seeing Spencer's state from where she lay on the hospital bed. She was speechless, Toby could tell as she edged closer, being extremely cautious. Hanna felt guilty, they all did, he was only aware because Emily had voiced this to him of which he simply replied that they all went through hell and Spencer was the unlucky one, it was nobody's fault.

But as Hanna had shifted half way across the room, Emily and Aria joined. They were all wary around Spencer, only having seen her once since being here but there giggly entrance must have startled the brunette as she burrowed deeper into Toby's chest.

"Spencer, it's us," Hanna, always the outgoing one, smoothed her hand down Spencer's shoulder, trying to contribute to the comforting as much as possible.

But as somebody new touched her, someone who wasn't him, Spencer freaked out. She started violently shaking, nothing like Toby had ever seen before. Her previous grip she had on him, her only way to stay semi-grounded, tripled in tightness, as her knuckles turned white. The wretched sobs that he hadn't heard since their reuniting several nights ago returned full force, also taking on a stronger force as they spilled out of Spencer's mouth. And all he could do was hold her until her mind decided to release her from whatever state it resided.

As Toby looked back on the memory for the split second it lasted, he saw how far Spencer had come in trusting herself, as well as others.

When he understood what had happened, he gently placed his hand on her shoulder, "Spencer? It's me, Toby. You're okay, okay?" He told her quietly, while gently wrapping her slim figure into his arms as he started to rock her calmly. Toby knew what helped her and what would send her deep into the dark pit of her mind. He had had a lot of practice.

After a few minutes of silence, Toby spoke, "Could you clear a way out please? We need as little confrontation as possible," Toby asked Amanda softly.

She only nodded before slipping out.

"Toby?" He heard, only just, from the person in his arms. It was as if she was questioning his existence.

"I'm here Spence, I got you," he comforted as he continued to rock her.

She didn't say another word after that. She didn't move as he lifted her off the floor, making his way towards the truck. And she didn't respond to anyone or any sound that surrounded.

As Toby pulled the tan truck into the garage and slowly turned the engine off, he turned to face her. It was sad how, as Spencer forced a breath out, he was relieved. Relieved that she did something.

All the way home, she didn't make a move, she couldn't and somehow he understood that. He wasn't sure how though. But as Toby thought about it, he didn't think he ever would. Even though she made no action to change position, the fact that she didn't let go of his hand didn't go unnoticed. But that breathe, that cautious effort, made him so proud and he honestly didn't think he had or ever would meet anyone stronger.

"Spencer?" He asked, not knowing if he would receive any answer.

"Are you ready to go inside?" Toby whispered as her head slowly turned to face him.

He received a small nod but Toby could see the amount of effort that was inputted from the brunette. It pained him to not hear her usual loud and powerful voice, even if he only heard it less than an hour before.

Always gentle around her in times like this, he opened the truck door and slowly shifted her out, knowing it would be more idealistic if he carried her. But as he walked through the house effortlessly, he noticed the heat that radiated off her skin and the tiny goose bumps that coated her pale arms to accompany the radical temperature.

So he set the woman on the bed in her paralyzed state while trying to change her into more suitable clothing in which he hoped she would relax.

He accomplished the task and proceeded to slowly lay her down with him on the bed, keeping her head attached to his chest in hopes his own, calm heartbeat could soothe Spencer's scrambling one.

As the day faded away and darkness appeared, her physical condition only worsened. And although she still hadn't spoken a word, Toby was grateful for her small, silent gestures that made him believe she was okay. Every time she threw up and was guided back into Toby's arms, Spencer would delicately kiss his bare chest to say she was okay, not great, but okay. Anytime she needed anything, Spencer would lightly squeeze his hand but Toby observed that she didn't demand much apart from water. There were no words spoken and to Toby it only proved the entirety of their relationship, no words were necessary to know what the other needed.

He was forced to ring both, current guardians of their children in the early evening to explain that they couldn't possibly come home and should be taken to their godparents or grandparents if they couldn't be cared for but, as he expected, they both complied.

He knew the morning would be harder, trying to get her probably raspy voice to cooperate. But Toby was surprisingly ready, ready to help the woman he loved, even though he already had been.

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